“Alright, alright, I’m listening, see? You don’t have to keep grabbing me like that! C’mon, let go already… I said I was sorry, ok? It was a very impressive declaration! Ow ow ow it’s gonna come off let go please” The God of Stories and Creativity was currently wriggling frantically, trying to break free from the grip on his ankle the God of Order had as she strolled towards the elevator.
It was well deserved, though. After her grand declaration, the twerp had the nerve to feign a clap of mock appreciation (“much wow, very cool.”), before promptly returning to scanning the shelves for something good to read. He was so engrossed that he hadn’t even noticed that Order had wrapped her palm around his right ankle until he was unceremoniously yanked along as she walked off.
Entering the elevator, hand still clutching the God-balloon, Order stabbed the very last button. Floor 428; the records for the most recent Gods she had encountered. Surely she’d find a suitable God to serve as a contributor for her experiment. As the box began its descent, Order finally released her ability, and her hand passed through the ghostly form of Stories once more.
The young god grumbled, pretending to smooth out a crease on the very obviously un-creased leg of his beige pants. “Ugh, took you long enough.” He floated down next to her and asked, “So, there were three barriers, right? Which one are you going to go for first?” Order retrieved the paper that Life had written on and unfolded it, prompting Stories to lean in to read the words. She tapped on the first bullet point with her finger.
“I believe that if we are able to locate a God that is able to fulfil the conditions of the first obstacle, the other two barriers should be rendered irrelevant. To explain it simply, if we could infect mortals with contagious vitality right from the get-go, hopefully with minimal side-effects, we would not require a copy of the God of Life and Creation; nor would we need to worry about the transference accelerating the timeline on their demise.”
“See,” Stories frowned. “That’s what I don’t get. Why not just have the God of Life and Creation help out with our experiment? Wouldn’t the simplest way to test your theory be to have the big man himself attempt what I’ve already proved is possible? His ability is pure life, right? Creation and whatnot? Just have him pop out once to the nearest planet, touch a rabbit or two and poof! Problem solved. We wouldn’t need a copy when we have the real McCoy, and he literally fits the bill for willing donor God that definitely wouldn’t corrupt any of the subjects he influences. Heck, mortals exist because of the radiation from the godly emissions when he was born! Match made in heaven, if you ask me.”
Order pondered for a moment. True, what Stories was saying made a modicum of sense. But she was hard-pressed to agree; if it were that simple, Life would have went along with her suggestion in the first place.
So, being the nit-picky fuss that she was, Order started to rattle off a couple of rationalizations on why Life wouldn’t be the ideal candidate for the test, based on nothing but conjecture and the belief that her father would not make an elementary mistake like that.
“Well, I presume the God of Life and Creation would have already tried something like this himself in the early stages of his experiments and subsequently failed in some way, or he wouldn’t still be pumping out lesser Gods to this day. Perhaps he is unable to adjust the output of his ability like you can? Life in excess can become harmful too; maybe his subjects would grow large cancers all over their bodies, and the trade-off to a long life might have been one with a greatly diminished quality? It could even be that the output from his ability was so strong, it obliterated everyone he-“
“Geez, OK, I get it. The big man can do no wrong, blah blah blah, he’s one step ahead of everyone else. Let’s move on. Let’s talk battle plan: what are you going to do about the first barrier, then?”
“Well, that’s precisely where we’re heading. The lowest floors of the Library are dedicated to every lesser God that I’ve ever conversed with. I don’t remember every single one of them, but I’m fairly certain that at least a few of them have potential worth pursuing. Ah, we’ve arrived.” The elevator doors slid open, a pleasant ding issuing from the interior indicating that the lift was at its target floor.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
Order exited the metal box and started to browse the nearest bookshelf, examining the spine of each book with a furrowed brow. “God of Drawings, God of Friendship, God of Weapons, God of Weather… This could take a while.” She turned to face Stories. “You take the opposite aisle; if the God mentioned sounds even remotely related to lifespan, you bring it to me. Ok?”
“Aye aye, boss… whatever you say…” The unenthusiastic reply came as the lesser God drifted off to carry out the task.
Over the next three hours, the two Gods scoured every corner of the massive floor, taking books from the shelves and rifling through their pages, before laying them in a pile on the table in the far end of the room. “Ok, that should be all of them for this floor. Hopefully these should be enough, or we might need to go to the next floor.”
Order sorted through the small but sizable pile, removing those from Stories’ selection she felt didn’t quite match up to the criterion.
Instead of helping, however, the latter God was picking up each of the rejects and protesting their exclusion. “Oh come on, God of Cuisine’s a good one! If all of them want to dine like Gods, they’ll start eating better. Better food, longer lives! And God of Exercise too; working out gives stronger bodies, therefore: longer lifespan! You’re throwing out pure gold here! Gold, I tell you! Gold!”
“Diet and exercise alone aren’t going to give these mortals century-long lifespans. These should suffice as a starting point for now.” Order separated three tomes from the stack. The Gods of Survival, Renewal and Adaptability.
“…still think my suggestions were fine… ugh, whatever. So, these three, then? Are we going to go look for them now? They could be anywhere! It could be decades before they even pop up again!”
Order shook her head. “That would be highly inefficient. With only the two of us, systematically searching the sprawling sectors of the Sea of Stars would be a futile endeavour. Besides, only you can pass through the Dimensional Wall; it would be more accurate to say that you’d be a search party of one. No, no, we’ll use this.”
She tapped a device on her belt, a small black box with a rubber grip. “Aura scanner. At every one of my meetings with lesser Gods, I take a small sample of their life force signature and spread it over the relevant book. This way, if I ever need to speak with them again regarding this or that, I can ask my next interviewee to bring them back to the divine realms.”
“That’s an invasion of privacy!” (A bit rich coming from you, Order thought.) “How come I’ve never heard of this magical tool before?! That’s outrageous! How does it work? Can I borrow it sometime?”
Order sighed. Ignoring Stories’ outburst, she removed the device from her belt and waved it across the covers of the three books in order. The box whirred to life, calculating. After a beat, neon green letters started to display on the screen.
“Ok, the three of them haven’t gone far. The God of Renewal is the closest; Genesis 3.” After thumbing a tab on the side of the box to bring up the tracking function, she handed the device over to Stories, who proceeded to stare at her outstretched hand with mild confusion.
“What? Why are you giving it to me? You go do it. It’s your experiment, not mine.”
She looked incredulously at him. “Didn’t you hear what I just said? Of course you’re going; I can’t leave the divine realms, remember?”
Order forced the box into his hands. “It’s simple, just follow the arrow and you’ll get there in no time at all; three days, tops.”
“THREE DAYS?! You’re kidding me! I could write a whole report on thirty-five of Love’s new bedroom escapades in three days! And the other two ‘test subjects’ might have gone further in while we’re talking to Renewal! Sweeten the deal. You gotta give me something here, man.”
“Fine. You can have the aura scanner after we’re done here. I can get another one made at the God of Technology and Advancement’s place later.”
His eyes lit up instantly, drooling at the metaphorical carrot being dangled over his head, all gripes forgotten.
“Ooh. Ok, one God of Renewal, coming right up!” Stories vanished downwards, phasing through the ground.
Materialistic and reward-oriented, Order thought. Couldn’t he see the bigger picture? She was trying to help him, for heaven’s sake. She sighed again.
Was it really going to be fine working with someone like him?