I'm bored.

Yeah, I get you, after a kidnapping/vampire escapade, a week at uni is like death.

We want to run.

Well, I'm not usually the one up to much physical anything, but with my current food intake, I'd better do something because I'm going to get obese within two weeks. So, I'll have to agree with you.

I was back to a semblance of a normal life, with more stares.

I had been in the spotlights for a while, but that had soon died down. The only thing different was that my art pieces, paintings and drawings, were selling like crazy. Their prices were growing higher and higher, and an art gallery had asked me to give them some of my collection.

I drew a lot, my paintings were rarer, I liked the simple effects of pencils, where pressing harder created black, lighter created soft grey.

So I had a lot of stuff to give.

But I wasn't happy.

Because it was what my father said would happen. I knew from the start he was right, but that aspect of art made me sick.

No emotions, no meaning, just money.

I was famous now. I was a nice story rich people could tell their friends.

'Look at that drawing, the girl crying in the snow. Do you see? It's from Gray, you know, Raymond Dunkelbaumen? The kid who survived in the frozen mountains of Washington for a week after almost having been killed by a serial killer?'

I had refused the gallery, but I couldn't refuse to sell. I had posted everything online, way before everything blew up, and was contractually obligated to deliver.

Still, some people bought it for what I believed were good reasons, and that was what I tried to think about. Happy thoughts.

They just liked my art and bought it. Or found it resonated with them somehow. That was good enough for me.

I got out of my reverie when Marie coughed to get my attention.

“Gray, you're bursting our food budget.”

“Uh?”

“You just ate three packs of bacon sausages and twelve eggs. That was supposed to last the week.”

“Sorry.” I felt bad, but not about eating that much. Actually, I felt great.

“You're going to get fat! Come on stand up.”

Since I woke up at four every morning, Me and Marie had gotten even closer, as we enjoyed breakfast together every day. I obliged her and stood up.

She got closer to me.

Nice smell.

Shut up. Oh, I didn't say it out loud this time, that was good.

She had a teasing look in her eyes, that made me slightly anxious.

“Raise your arms Gray.”

“What?”

“Tch tch, just do it.”

“Fine” I did as she asked.

“Haha! Surprise fat attack!” She suddenly exclaimed as tried to pinch my belly through my pajama t-shirt.

She stopped immediately though.

“What the hell.” She said.

I stepped back.

“What? Why am I being sexually assaulted?”

“Drop the shirt.”

“I'm sorry? Marie what? Are you doing a reverse coming out?”

“Shut up, in your dreams.” She had a serious-ish look, so I removed my t-shirt. Nothing she hadn't seen before anyway, we had only one shower, and it wasn't rare for us to move around in only a bath towel. Well, Marie always had two.

“Holy shit. Gray you're packed!”

“What?” I looked at myself, intrigued. I wasn't the one to really care about how I looked, and I didn't really look at myself in the mirror that often. In all honesty, the face was my narcissus, but the rest of the body, not really, that was Stan's issue, not mine.

Still, I admit having a six-pack grow from nowhere was nice. If Stan saw it though, he would be completely out of his mind, as I didn’t deserve it as much as he did. He had worked for it.

“Cool.” I said.

“What the fuck!” I winced at the bad word that got out of her mouth. “Are you hitting the gym in secret?”

“No...”

“I think I should go take a hike naked in the woods for five days then.”

“I wouldn't recommend it.”

“I think it's worth it.”

There was a long pause.

“Can I put my shirt back on now?”

“Wait I need to take a picture.”

“No, you're not, you hentai.”

“Shout Kyaah for me and I’m raping you.”

“I'm a man.”

“I know, but if I only look at the six-pack...”

I decided to flee for my life and barricaded myself in my room.

“ARE YOU GOING TO WAKE ME UP EVERY FUCKING MORNING?”

Stan wasn't of the morning if you hadn't guessed.

I heard Maria answer him.

“Stan! Ray has a six-pack!”

“WHAT?”

“I swear, a perfect, chocolate-like six-pack.”

“Who the fuck cares, It's...six AM! SIX A M.”

“A good time to begin the day. You want some breakfast, Ray did everything we had in the fridge, so you can have some of the leftovers.”

“Sure.”

I heard him sit down, and Maria too.

I poked my head out and watched through the corridor.

“Marie! Sorry about the food. I'll put 50 more every week, my art is selling well so it's no problem. And call me Gray.”

Both made a thumbs up, and as that problem was seemingly resolved, I decided to dress up for class.

Class is boring.

I agree, especially history of art from Jefferson.

Let us go run.

You know what crazy me. Sure. I never went to the track field; I know they always clean up the snow though.

Clearly, my unfortunate week outside had been great for my body. I never felt so fit and in control of my body. I didn't know how long I ran, but all in all, it felt great.

“Hey boy, want to join the team?”

An old-looking man asked me out of nowhere when I had decided to stop for a while, enjoying the sensations of my body. The field was not deserted, but very few people were masochistic enough to go run outside in those freezing conditions.

The fifty years old-ish man clearly wasn't running and was probably the coach of the track and field or something.

“No sorry. I just wanted to exercise a bit.”

“You're that kid who got lost in the woods.” He seemed to recognize me.

I didn't exactly get lost, no. The statement alone made me angry.

Wait, why was I getting angry about that? I'm not that emotional.

He is weaker. He does not give us the respect we deserve.

So you're the reason for that? Tell you what, let me handle PR, crazy me, and I'll let you handle the dangerous situations, deal?

This is a smart deal for us. We accept.

I was making deals with myself, I really hoped I'd make a great piece of art before I was ultimately sent to the asylum.

Or maybe I could make one there.

“Well, clearly, you're not right in the head.”

It seemed my silent conversation hadn't gone unnoticed, and the coach had just assumed I was batshit crazy.

He was right, but the way he looked at me made me want to bash his skull into the ground.

Hey. I said to myself.

I am not responsible for all of our anger.

Yeah, I guess I wasn't so immune to anger as I thought.

I smiled politely at the old man and left the track field. I wouldn't be running there anymore.

The campus had a park, just next to the mountain, I loved it there, I usually stopped and painted or drew in some of the hidden alcoves inside it.

Let's go.

Erm now? I just ran and I'm tired so.

We are not tired.

Surprisingly, I realized we were barely out of breath. So, I obliged myself.

Ok, let's go then.

For the whole day, we climbed the mountain. Well I did, myself and I. It was strange, two similar Grays, one more animal and one more human cohabitating the same body.

And it seemed animal Gray was a sports phenomenon.

I was seeing the most beautiful sunset of my life, seeing it fall under the waves of the horizon.

You still there? I asked.

Always.

We're not crazy, are we?

No.

I'm not human anymore, am I?

Right now, we are human.

Are we like a werewolf, a shapeshifter? I can't help but guess, the wolf pelt has disappeared but you're still there. I ate you somehow, merged with you.

We are not werewolves. But our shape can change.

What are you?

I am you.

Great.

I could feel it was useless to ask for more, I knew she was telling the truth. She was me, that fact was undeniable to me. I tried to change the subject.

So, what can we become? No wait, you're going to answer ourselves or some dumb thing like that. Better question, what can we shape into.

Our wolven self, and both of our old human selves.

Wolven self? Wait both our human selves?

We are one, male and female, animal and human. Three shapes, because the number three is sacred.

Wow great, now we're talking real magic. That sounded prophetic like crazy.

Prophecies are always right, and always wrong. Better not listen to them.

I laughed. I made myself laugh, creepy. Good thing I was alone on a mountaintop in the middle of nowhere.

So, we are a kind of werewolf, but I can also change into the body of what was Igris?

There is no Igris. The moment we became one, Raymond and Igris ceased to be.

Yeah but Igris existed before we became one, so did Raymond.

No, we were, are, and will always be one.

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

That made me stop and think for some time. The last rays of the sun pierced only the horizon, darkness had already surrounded me.

I had to admit, I didn't get it. I wasn't exactly bad in science, but that time mumbo jumbo was going over my head.

So how do we change shapes?

You know the answer to that question because I know the answer.

Sure, we were one, but we were also two different entities and I had no way of knowing what Igris had known.

But even though it made no sense, I realized I knew. Innately I knew how to change my form to that of my wolven counterpart.

We only needed to wish it.

Let's try.

Understood.

I wasn't really prepared for the pain, but I remembered it from before.

On the road.

We were not human, we had changed when we heard the car, on that road.

Agony is a small word for what I felt, but honestly, what was truly nightmarish was the sound; of my bones breaking and my muscles ripping.

But it only took a few heartbeats, well under a minute, for it to be over.

I was as tall as I was as a human. No slightly, taller. I was 6 feet tall (1m80) before and had gained a few inches now that I was a wolf.

No, a wolf wasn't truly what I was.

A wolven shape.

I was three times the size of what a normal wolf should be.

If someone saw me, he would probably run away screaming, and if there was proof something like me was close to a city, they would bring tanks.

I also felt strength like never before. My sense of smell had drastically improved, so had my hearing. My vision stayed normal though, no night vision for me. Bummer.

I looked at myself, quite a hard feat in my current state.

My fur was similar to the one of my lost pelt, except the white was slightly darker, pretty close to light grey.

I would need a big mirror to examine myself fully.

The strangest thing was the tail, I could feel it, which was super weird.

I had no control over it though, right now it was waggling softly.

I was not a werewolf, or at least not half wolf half human.

Werewolves are weak compared to us.

There are werewolves?

There were.

Who was Igris, no Gray, as a woman I mean?

You know Gray, you are Gray.

Just like the knowledge on how to shift, female Gray's past suddenly came rushing in.

Way too fast.

It was like standing up, your mouth opened under the Nicaragua Falls.

I was lost, not able to make sense of anything.

After I don't know how long, I closed the stream of touch, sound, image, scent, and taste. But the emotions were still coming in.

It felt like being a guy pushing a giant barrage with his bare hands.

After what felt like an eternity, I managed to close off the emotions.

I woke up with blood in my mouth. Divine taste on my lips.

Oh no.

What happened?

You don't know either?

No, we opened our minds, then everything went dark.

She seemed...more educated? Less feral?

Yes...we saw our male Gray's life. We learned a lot. Too much.

Same here.

I finally looked at my surroundings.

As I could still see some light at the horizon, it hadn't been that long since I zoned out.

There was a dead moose under my feet. I apparently ate half of it.

Urgh.

Food!

Don't go back to feral now.

We are not hungry anymore. But a bit more would be nice.

I'd rather eat my meat cooked, thank you very much.

I should feel sick. But I wasn't. I felt great.

A memory got to me. It was Igris, older Igris, maybe thirty or so, doing some kind of ritual with all of her brood sisters.

She was an oracle like my male counterpart was. Or how had the vampire called me?

Conscient. That's what I was.

Her sisters were trying to help her. Find herself?

Then she got blessed by what she believed to be a god, but to my eyes was just a series of thunder strikes, and became a wolf pelt, eternally sleeping to find herself.

I slept for so long, so many hands touched me. But none were our other half, until we met you.

She didn't just sleep for a long time. From what I remembered of her memories; Egypt wasn't a thing. She lived in Mesopotamia.

I'd have to do research on it to know exactly how long that was, but holy shit, sorry for the language.

We felt so broken, like a half perpetually missing.

I understood the feeling. No, I knew it. I began understanding what she meant with the 'we were, are and will always be one' thing.

So Oracles, or Conscient, are some kind of magic people but broken in half or something like that. Never to be whole.

I do not know. Oracles were meant to bring only bad news.

I sneered. Yeah, two people killed themselves because of me. And two others sacrificed themselves to save me. I know the feeling.

Of course, you know, we are one.

I know, I know.

Well, I had a lot to digest, figuratively and literally. Better go back to my flat.

…

My clothes.

My running shoes, vest, and everything I had on me when I climbed on the top of the mountain…I had destroyed everything.

I went back to the mountaintop. It was easy, even in the dark. I could follow my own scent back there.

I realized my wolven and human scent were very similar but still noticeably different.

One was clearly human, said my instincts, the other, not.

Interesting.

Oh, my jeans.

I loved those jeans, wore them since high school.

My phone wallet and keys had survived though.

I willed myself to change back.

Immediately regretting it as the pain swept me on my knees.

Then it was gone.

I looked at the time.

Only six thirty pm, I was ok.

Well naked on top of the mountain, but ok, Marie wouldn't call the cops. Yet.

I began shivering.

I send a message to Marie saying I was coming back home, but I didn't really know when, and that she definitely didn't have to call the cops if I arrived after midnight.

Something was wrong.

My fingers were wrong.

I looked down on myself.

Immediately looked up.

Shit, I was in Igris's body.

Or well, Igris's body when she was the same age as me.

It felt...perfectly normal, reason why I hadn't noticed the new boobjob.

What happened?

I believe that after we mixed our memories, we cannot dissociate body from one another. If we don't specify which appearance we want, it'll just be random.

Ok, I knew that. Feels good to ask though, I didn't like knowing something I shouldn’t know.

It was unsettling not feeling anything for such a killer body though. It was just like looking at my male self. Appreciative of the six-pack, but nothing else.

That would be weird.

You were beautiful.

I Am.

You are.

I felt happy.

Ok, refocus. I needed to change shapes, wolf to get down the mountain fast, then male Gray to go back to the flat.

I took what was left of my jeans with those beautiful velvety hands.

Focus.

… and wrapped my phone wallet and keys in them, then I willed to change.

It took slightly longer, and when fully wolf, couldn't stop myself from howling loudly in pain.

I immediately got used to my form, took the package through my teeth carefully, then ran down.

I was going so fast. Dodging the thick vegetation as if I was a cat and not a giant wolf. Now that I was aware of myself, I could go faster and faster, unlimited by what I believed was humanly possible.

It took 10 minutes to finish what seemed to be a five-hour climb.

I smelled the park, or well the couple having sex inside it.

It was freezing guys. How the hell can you have sex in this kind of weather?

I stopped for a moment. What if one of the partners was not on board with it?

Immediately after the unsettling thought, my hearing gave me the reassurance that no one was being hurt.

Urgh. People really use daddy as a phrase now. It's not just a meme?

I got a bit away from the noises and pictured myself becoming my male self.

I hoped it would be enough.

I was happy to see old Ray's body, but seriously, I had no idea how I was going to get used to the change. I had managed not to shout this time, but it was a horrible experience, nonetheless.

I opened my jeans, or what was left of them, and checked the state of my valuables. No wolf monster saliva had managed to penetrate the cloth.

Such good quality, such a shame.

I used them to hide what was left of my dignity, but the feeling of wolf saliva on my skin was truly not great.

I checked my phone. It had like six missed calls from Maria, one from an unknown number and one from Stan.

I had lots of messages too but called Maria before checking them.

She immediately picked up.

“Ray! Gray! Whatever. Is that you?”

“It's my phone calling you, who do you think it is.” I wasn't used hearing that much terror in her voice.

“Oh my god, we didn't know where you were. You didn't go to your classes, and you didn't answer your phone after you sent that message.”

“How do you know I didn't go to my classes? And what's the problem? I did send a message.”

“Anyone could have sent that! You could have been kidnapped again for all we knew!”

“Ok, sorry, I'll call next time, you need to chill. How did you know I didn't go to my classes?” I repeated my question.

“Your witness protection detail told me...”

I stopped breathing.

“My what?”

“...The police has a security team on you 24/7...”

I had a security detail. Why? Or no, not why, the why was obvious, the vampire was still on the loose and I had definitely pissed her off. I needed protection and to them, it was a ‘normal’ serial killer, so of course they would want to put me under surveillance. The real question was:

“Why the hell was I not informed of this?”

Are you not supposed to be the calm one?

I ignored myself.

“I didn't know either, don't get angry at me.” Marie didn't like my tone either. “A police officer came an hour after you send the message, telling us they had lost you since you had been running at the track field. You have been training for that six-pack you liar!”

Even if it would have been better for her to believe I did, I didn't want her to think I lied to her.

“No, I just went for a run for the first time today. I do not lie, remember that?”

“You do lie, you just hate it.”

True.

“When they told us that, I felt that your message was a pretty small reassurance, and then you didn't answer your fucking phone.”

I shivered. Standing butt naked in the snow was a habit I really needed to give up, even though it was not the cause of my trembling.

“I'm fine. And I suppose the security was orchestrated by my father, I know you wouldn't have hidden that from me.”

Not like we are hiding anything from her.

You have a proposition on how to tell someone monsters exist and that you became one of them?

I like her, we should make her our partner.

A sidekick? I do not want to become a superhero.

“...Gray?”

“Sorry you were saying?”

Mental conversations were really to be avoided when you were having physical ones.

“Where are you right now?”

Tell her.

...Fine, you're right. We need her right now.

“I'm on the northern side of the park, could you come to pick me up with some clothes?”

“Clothes?”

“I'll explain. Are the cops there?”

She paused.

“One of the officers is watching tv in our dining room.”

“Give him the phone.”

"It's Ray." Gray I corrected internally as I heard her talk to the police officer.

After a few seconds, someone else answered the phone.

“Hello? Mr. Dunkelbaumen?” Said a masculine voice.

“Yes, may I know who you are officer?” I said with my old law firm voice. I hated this but it was important no one else died because of me. They were not ready for a true monster.

“...I'm officer Higgs.”

“Officer Higgs, I am very sorry for the following, but could you please tell this to your superior officer? In accordance with witness protection law article 9-21, I request you stop following and protecting me, as no psychological evaluation has been made in accordance with article 9-21.100, and I did not ask or give my approval to any semblance of this. What's more, I do not enter article 9-21.220's criteria for emergency witness protection. As such, if the police station of Redfort doesn't want to suffer an immediate lawsuit and heavy coverage by the media, I ask an immediate stop to the witness protection program in my name.”

There was a short silence on the other line before Higgs answered.

“Erm, you want me to remember all that?”

I chuckled.

“No. Just tell them to get off my back or I'll become a real pain in your ass.”

“You sure you want to do that kid? You're not exactly safe you know?” He had dropped the politeness, so I did the same.

“I'm perfectly aware. But Higgs, I don't want anyone else to die on my part.”

Nevermore.

“It's our job.”

“I know, and you've done it with brilliance.”

“But you still want us away. Something to hide. Into drugs?”

I heard Marie in the back laughing at that. That's how ridiculous it sounded.

“Nope.”

“I'll tell my boss. You're free to go for now, but we expect you to come back into the office this week for further interrogation on where you were tonight. That alright with you?”

“Of course, even though you won't get much more than I went on a run, had a leisurely walk in the park and then did some mountain climbing. Because that's exactly what I did.”

“OK. Understood.” I could hear he was more than dubious about my answer. “Giving you back your friend, have a nice evening Mr. Dunkelbaumen.”

“Good evening officer.”

“What do you want to wear? Panties and pleated skirts?” I heard Maria shuffling through something.

“No, I don't want to wear your stuff, thank you very much, some clothes from my dresser please.”

“You'd look fabulous in red lingerie!” She said jokingly.

I cringed hard because we, female and male Gray, would both agree it would be nice on our female body.

And I really didn't want to think about the implications of that right now.

“Could you hurry up, I'm really cold.”

There was a pause.

“Wait a second, are you fucking naked outside again? In the park?”

Oooh that tone of voice was scary.

“...I'll explain.”

“Oh, you'd better. How am I supposed to get to your dresser?”

…

“My door is unlocked?” I was pretty sure I didn't lock it. I rarely did.

It took only a few seconds for Marie to answer the question, our flat was far from big, and her room was directly opposite of mine.

“It is. Not scared of us stealing something?”

“Not really.”

“Wow, such confidence.”