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God's Little Joke
Prologue - For Every End, A Beginning

Prologue - For Every End, A Beginning

K's life wasn't that great....ok let's be honest it was downright horrid. At 33 his life, if you could call it such, was absolutely pathetic. No job, no girlfriend or wife, no close ties with anyone...at this point he wouldn't even be considered a NEET. His apartment was paid for by the government and his food expense as well. Now granted its not like he wanted to live like this. Between the Recurring, Severe Major Depressive Disorder, the severity of his Anxiety, and his Severe PTSD....well at this point he was lucky to still be breathing. And although there were people who had tried to stay in his life, well the unfortunate truth was that he was the one who couldn't handle dealing with them.

So it came as no surprise to...well anyone...that when he died it was weeks before someone found his body. And by that time it was too late to do anything but be thankful it was over at last. Or at least it should have been....

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White. White as far as the eye could see...not that, in this place, you could really judge distance very well. K found himself waking up a bit hazily to this white room. At first, of course, he was confused. But that lasted only a split second for his mind to race to its obvious conclusion. Someone was fucking with him. Oh, he had a pretty good idea what was going on. He'd read enough(far too many honestly) books and stories about reincarnation that he would bet his nonexistent life that that was where this was heading. And honestly, he couldn't care less. His last life was less than pleasant and at this point, now that it was finally over, all he wanted to do was rest. But that obviously wasn't in the cards.

Looking around for something or someone for a bit he finally gave in with a sigh and said "Can we get this over already? Neither of us is going to like where this ends up and I've had enough of living. So give me your spiel or whatever so I can turn you down and go on to oblivion."

A low chuckle that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once, before the sound slowly coalesced into a man(?) seated at a table that came into being when he did. Average height, average looks...well all except for the eyes. Those seemed to see into his very soul....which, given where he was, they probably were. "You know I've done this countless times before. Seen it all in fact. The crying, the anger, the hysterics. Usually, it takes people a bit to realize and then believe they're dead. And then comes the threats, the begging, the deals. And finally, after awhile they sit and listen to what I have to say and we go on our merry way" the man(?) said, just a bit smugly. "But not you. Within seconds you not only realized you were dead, you realized where you were and what will happen afterward. Not only that you've already made up your mind to reject it and would rather be sent to oblivion? Even for me, that's something new" he said, that low chuckle permeating the air again.

With a bored and somewhat tired look "Is it just some random lottery you reach in and grab whoever to send on? Or do you actually research who will get to go to your own brand of special hell? Because if so, you should know exactly what you're asking me to do after 33 fucking years of every day wishing I was dead. And now that I finally get my wish you want me to continue living someplace else? On top of it most likely being a world where death is an everyday part of life and quality of life is shit? You can't be serious" K said, with just a hint of disgust in his voice before sighing again. "What could you possibly offer me to make me agree."

Despite his tone and choice of words, the slightly smug smile never left the man(?). "Oh, I can think of a few that might peak your interest. For starters how about we get rid of that chemical imbalance in your brain that was the root of your depression. Now it won't change your memories of the trauma but at least you won't have to worry about a repeat" he grinned.

"Yeah still not worth it," K said with another sigh. "Besides that...what could you possibly see in me that would make you go through the trouble? It's not like I was a good person, to begin with even before the many, many mental breakdowns, attempted suicides, and generally being a useless piece of shit. What could I possibly have that you want?"

"Call it a charity case if you want" the man(?)'s smug smile deepening. "Call it redemption, if that makes you feel any better. Hell, call it twisted entertainment for all I care. It's not like you could fuck things up in that world any more than they already are. Now then, on to business. If you'll remember in some of those stories there is a concept of a mistake. A mistake in which a soul is sent to the wrong world and Management has to wait til it dies to correct the problem. Well, in this case, that would be true. Even I'm not sure if your suffering was caused by this or you were just severely unlucky on both counts. Whatever it was, you weren't supposed to be here. And unfortunately for you, I can't send you on without you going to this world first. However, since it was a mistake on our part, the least we can do is give you a few benefits for this time around."

Shaking his head, K sighed for the umpteenth time before giving in and asking "So I don't have a choice, huh. Well before we get in-depth into the so-called benefits why don't you tell me what it is, exactly, that you want me to do in this new world of yours. Oh, and a brief history lesson wouldn't be amiss either.

"The history of this world is actually pretty standard for this type of thing. Wars between humans, wars between races, hate and discrimination abound. Slavery and death, Heroes and Demon Lords. Greedy people vying for power and not caring for those they step on to get there" he said, his tone a bit droll. "You're not really instilling confidence here," K said blandly. "Well no, but that was the point. Regardless of Race human nature will exist in any world. The point is, for every darkness there is light. There are good people in this world as well who are just trying to survive and keep those precious to them safe" the man(?) replied. "And as for what I want you to do in this world....well....just have fun," he said with a smirk.

K blinked for a moment before scowling. "Fun? You're reincarnating me, sending me to a death world and giving me cheat like abilities and all you want me to do is have fun!?" The heated words slid off the man(?) easily as he just looked at K. Shaking his head again, K sighed once again and said "Fine. Whatever. Not my world, why should I care how you fuck it up." Closing his eyes briefly, he opened them and stared hard at the being in front of him. "All right then. What are these benefits you were speaking about."

The man(?)'s grin widened yet again and then waved his hand. In front of K appeared a window, much like one you'd see in a video game. "This interface will walk you through choosing your race as well as your abilities and skills. You have a certain number of points in which to buy said choices and you can use them however you want. Once you get where you're going there will be a more in-depth....tutorial I should say, that will explain how to level up your choices as well as possible evolutions. Take your time, for your choices cannot be undone once you choose. Once you're done just hit the finalize button and off you'll go" the man said, his voice getting softer and softer as it went, causing K to jerk his head up just in time for him to see the man(?) fade out of existence, along with his table. Heaving a sigh of disgust, K shook his head and went back to perusing the menu in front of him.

In front of him was a semi-transparent screen split into two sections vertically. On the left side was a list of current races and on the right was an image of his current body as well as his current info. The boy staring back at him was at once familiar, and oh so different. The info put him at 15 years old and according to K's shoddy memory, he did indeed look like that at that age. 5'9 and what looked to be about 175 lbs with tan skin, brown eyes and jet black hair that showed no sign of the grey it once did. Broad shoulders and a lean build that had lost the fat and wear and tear of his old body finished out the look. While he wouldn't win any modeling contests at least he could honestly say he was moderately handsome, at least back then. Nodding his head at the current look he switched his gaze back to the list on the left.

Now K had played games all his life. From video games to board games to pen and paper role-playing games. And there was one thing that stuck with him as a player throughout it all. Call it min/maxing or munchkin or whatever, K would get the absolute most out of his choices and make the strongest character he could(sometimes breaking the game in the process). And he didn't see any reason to stop now. So with a breath to calm his mind and intensity to his gaze, he sat down to make whoever thought this up to regret every second he was alive and kicking.

"Hmm....always felt like I was short so I don't want to go any shorter. That crosses out Halfling and Dwarf automatically" he said as he skimmed through. "This list is kind of long. I wonder if it has a search function..." his voice trailed off in surprise as a new window popped up with an obvious search bar. "Well, that's interesting. Voice activated then? That makes things so much easier." And then he stopped, staring off into space. A search function was all well and good but what exactly was it that he wanted? Well, first and foremost it was magical ability. If he was going to be reincarnated in a world of swords and sorcery then he would damn well be using said sorcery. What else. Well, that would have to definitely be growth potential. While he absolutely hated being weak he could, maybe, stand to start out that way if it meant he had the best potential in the long run. Ok....hmm...well those two are good to start with at least. Now, what did he NOT want? Well, he sure as hell could go without having to sleep. He hated to sleep, hated the dreams, the nightmares, the wasted time. But mostly he hated the nights he couldn't sleep when his body demanded it, all because his mind wouldn't let him. So yeah. No sleep. All right let's start there.

"List all current races that don't need to sleep," he said, hoping the system was as intuitive as he believed. And he was rewarded as the left-hand screen blinked a few times and then his current choices were outlined. "Hmm, mostly Undead and Magical Constructs. Yeah, no. Not going that route. I don't want to sleep, and while the option is nice, that doesn't mean I don't want to eat as well. Clear list" he commanded as he thought again how he could achieve what he wanted. "Show racial options that preclude sleep or have the ability to forego sleep," he said, hoping again that he was right. The screen blinked a few times again and then one name popped up on the list. "High Human? What the hell is that" he said in confusion. Clicking on the name itself brought up the racial information.

High Human

Said to be a mythical race, the precursor to mankind before the Cataclysm. While Humans today have excellent growth capability as well as the ability to learn all but the most stringent race locked skills, they pale in comparison to their ancestors. On top of their large Mana Capacity as well as an affinity for Magic, High Humans have the option to evolve their bloodline to better suit their preferred growth route. As they are closer in essence to magic, to creation, than other races there are several racial traits unavailable to most.

Racial Abilities Greater Mana Capacity - Base Mana Capacity is greater by far than normal races found today but make it very easy for those with any type of Magic Perception to locate the user. Enhanced Growth - Speed at which Magic, Mana Capacity and all skills learned is very greatly increased. Meditation - Skill which allows the user to rest and recharge without the need to sleep while still being aware of their surroundings. Greatly increases Mana Capacity. Range and Rate depend on level of mastery. Theory to Application - Rate at which abilities and skills improve via training is greatly increased as is learning new skills. Quality over Quantity - The Essence accrued through battle condenses inside you for a more potent growth in exchange for a slower growth speed. 1/4 Speed for 4x Growth. Evolutionary Paths Elemental Avatar - The base essence of magic manipulates all of the Elements of the world. Allows for complete Mastery of every Element as well as any combination therein Divine Light - Forsaking the Path of Darkness and embracing all things Light you wield this particular Element as easy as breathing. Allows for purification and healing greater than normal Path of Darkness - Forsaking the Light you revel in Darkness. Allows for greater control of Darkness Element as well as the sub-branches such as Shadow and Necromancy Chronos - You have mastered the very fabric of reality, enabling you to have complete control over Time and Space Spirit of the Beast - Your Soul cannot be caged and your affinity for Beasts and Monsters allow you to tame even the most stubborn of foes. Allows for learning of racial features for each tamed creature Enlightenment of Body - Your magic has lead you through strange paths, focusing inward instead of out. Allows a greater understanding of all things Martial ???  ???

A low whistle could be heard as K finished reading the current page. "How the hell is this even available? There's gotta be a catch" he said as he scanned through until he finally caught on to how the system worked. Apparently, there was a total number of points he could use to buy Races, Abilities, and Skills. And of course, this particular gem cost quite a bit. So much so in fact that he could easily be stupidly overpowered right out of the gate. It would just cost him in the long run as he hit his counter stop quite early on. But I guess that was the point. And unfortunately, he had to choose a Race before he could move on and couldn't go back once it was decided. But....this was exactly what he was looking for. Oh well, you only live once....or not as it were, but whatever. As he clicked on the finalize button underneath High Human his character portrait didn't change too much all together. Hmm....was he a bit more handsome now? Meh, that could wait. Time for Skills!

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The screen blinked again a few times as the right-hand screen disappeared in favor of a blank canvas and what looked like one of those tables where you can send abilities over to the other side to see what you'll be choosing and how many points you have left afterward. Granted High Human took up the majority but it's still nice to be able to tell what you have a bit easier. Oh, it seems I already have an ability in the Taken column. Item Box. Yep, that's going to be very handy. Oh, it looks like it's just the basic ability so the size isn't extremely large but it's still decent enough. Also seems like it has a time stop feature on it but doesn't allow living organisms inside. Makes sense. Now, first things first. Every successful protagonist always had some form of appraisal so I need to get that quickly. Ah, let's use the search function again. "Search for appraisal abilities that include identifying objects as well as people and sort them from lowest cost to highest," he said and let the interface do it's thing before quickly scanning the results.

"Hmm, typical things so far...but how do they rate these?" Scanning through he realized that the skill system itself was fairly simple. A five-star rating system with one being Novice and five being Complete Mastery. And upon looking closer at a few skills he saw that they overlapped a bit upon hitting Mastery. For instance, there were skills such as Appraise Object, Appraise Weapon, Appraise Skill, Appraise Monster and Appraise Person. Upon hitting Mastery in any of these it would correlate to another Appraisal skill and would allow the user to use that skill as well. However, the pricier option would be Appraise All as that would be far more powerful in the long run. "Hmm it looks like Appraise All would be my best bet....." he trailed off as he saw the final, most expensive option on the list. 

Demon Eye of Truth - A physical manifestation of the Appraisal skill. Allows the accurate Appraisal of literally anything in the world. Only has one level and that is complete Mastery

Not even bothering to look at the cost he quickly clicked the skill and it moved over to the Taken column on the right. "Well, thats one problem solved....now, what next." After perusing through the skill list for awhile he started to notice a trend. Including the Demon Eye of Truth, there were a few skills that had a tiny star next to their name. Curious, he touched the star and a window popped up. "Only choosable upon creation? Well....that makes things a bit more interesting. Search skills only available upon creation" he said quickly commanding the search function again. "Now that's more like it" he grinned as he started to read through again before stopping quite abruptly. "Skill Store? There's even such a thing?" he asked before quickly clicking on it.

Skill Store - A specific additive function of the menu which allows for almost all skills to be bought using experience points with the exception of Character Creation Skills.

"Yeah, I'm sooo getting that" as he quickly selected it and sent that skill over to the next column as well. "Ok now to look and see what I can't live without from these since I'll be able to figure the rest out eventually." Scanning through he quickly picked out a few skills and preemptively sent them over to see exactly how many he could take and decide the best layout with the few points he had left. After spending quite a bit of time going back and forth he was able to narrow it down to these five.

Truthseeker - The ability to easily discern when someone lies. Higher levels of Mastery will eventually unlock the ability to see through the lies to the truth behind it True Elemental Affinity - While not actually giving the user the ability to cast spells from the Elements it does give the user the ability to learn more easily all spells from all Elements eventually Gravity Manipulation - A rare skill that cannot be taught. Allows the user to control gravity in greater and greater applications as the level of Mastery rises All Language Comprehension - An extremely rare skill that allows the user to speak with any sentient being. Soul Empowerment - Allows the user to grant his companions and followers a piece of his power, making them stronger and allowing them to learn skills and abilities they would otherwise not. Based on Loyalty

All of them were obviously very good skills and compared to the others, these were the best of the lot. The only difficult choice was the last, Soul Empowerment. Honestly, it was a complete gamble. Despite the fact that this was a new chance at life, his previous one did nothing for giving him assurance that he would, in fact, be able to even find companions and followers to Empower. But...it would be nice. Even if it was just one, just one friend to share his journey with it would be worth it. And so, despite his misgivings, he spent the last of his meager points on Hope.

Now that's not to say there weren't other skills that were equally impressive. There were several in fact that would have made his new life so much easier. Invisibility, Hypnosis, Domination, Time Stop....very powerful skills indeed with little to no chance of resisting them. Which was the problem. If things turned out how they usually did in these type of situations(granted his knowledge was based off of novels) then he was already going to be quite overpowered at least eventually. And once that happened it would be so easy, so very easy to inflict his will on the world. No more slavery, no more war, no more greedy nobles that think they actually have the right to treat others as lesser just because their ancestors did something enough to get land and the people to work it. But how long til he crossed that line? How long til he ended up just like them, all the while using the excuse that he was better, because he was doing it for the right reasons. And those skills would make things even worse. So he honestly didn't trust himself enough to use them without abusing them. And that was what crossed them off the list.

Double and then triple checking his selections, he spent one last moment before steeling himself and clicking the finalize button. Both screens dissolved into new as the one on the left turned into his status and the one on the right turned back into his character portrait. On a new note, there was one noticeable change to his new body. His eyes were a deep and vibrant shade of purple. "Hmm. Good thing I'm partial to purple. And at least it's not red" he said with a grin before turning his gaze to the left-hand screen and checking his status. Skimming over it quickly he realized that it was down to the hardest part. All throughout his 33 years of playing different types of games, they all had one thing, one tiny thing, that gave him the most trouble. A name. Something that stood out as different, that wasn't cliche at least, that wasn't too different that it would stand out in a bad way. It was especially important considering this was actually going to be his new name. "Hmm....I always hated this part. Kind of why I came up with a name and stuck with it through the years unless it was already taken" he said with a frown. Shaking his head he just entered his gaming name and called it good before glancing at the finished product of his status.

Name - Kieran Race - High Human Level - 1 Job -  Occupation -  Title - Otherworldly Child of Despair HP - 310 MP - 6600 Strength - 17 Agility - 19 Constitution - 21 Intelligence - 56 Wisdom - 43 Charisma - 26 Luck - 87 Growth - 99

Skills   Meditation ★✰✰✰✰ Greater Mana Capacity ★ Enhanced Growth ★ Theory to Application ★ Quality over Quantity ★ Demon Eye of Truth ★ Skill Store ★ Truthseeker ★✰✰✰✰ True Elemental Affinity ★ Gravity Manipulation ★✰✰✰✰ Soul Empowerment ★✰✰✰✰ All Language Comprehension ★

After looking everything over he was confused for a moment as he gazed at his stats before figuring out where the problem lied. His base stats were slightly higher due to his new race, which of course made sense. As did his Growth stat from his racial ability. What didn't make sense was his luck stat....at least until he clicked on his title for its description.

Otherworldly Child of Despair - Your life was a living hell through no fault of your own, and despite that, you survived for years. Greatly increases Luck as well as slightly increasing the disposition of others towards you

"Well.....I guess that's one way to apologize" he through glumly before shaking his head and staring one last time at the screen. Steeling his resolve and closing his eyes he clicked the finalize button for the last time before everything went black.

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