Novels2Search
God's Little Joke
Chapter 2 - Magic Is A Man's Romance!

Chapter 2 - Magic Is A Man's Romance!

After leaving the cave Kieran looked up, and judging by the position of the sun(not that he was in any aspect proficient at this), he thought he maybe had four hours left of daylight to fortify his new camp. With renewed determination, he then started looking around the immediate area to take stock of his options. Water - check, Dirt - check, decent amount of branches for a possible fire - check, random sized rocks - check. Shaking his head as nothing immediately jumped out at him and screamed: "Use me to build a base!". Which made him stop for a moment. Maybe he should change his perception? Sure most of these things would be good if he had the tools to process them even somewhat. But that's just it. He's still thinking in terms of his old world. This world had magic. And so did he!

"Ok first let's gather enough wood and branches to make a fire and keep it going for a while. Then I should probably drag some of these rocks over as well. Maybe I can shift them into some form of a crude barrier and figure out how to use Earth Magic to fill in the gaps with the dirt around? Shouldn't be too difficult to harden it all together like mortar if I can just figure out how the magic works. Then....find a few decently sized flat stones to make a makeshift grilling surface. Hell if I can get enough experience with Earth Magic I could probably make a kiln or something to bake clay containers....wait couldn't I just make containers directly out of earth? Stop thinking in terms of Earth's old technologies and start thinking Magic!" he thought, starting to get excited at the prospect. Magic was a Man's Romance after all!

Luckily this lake and cave he found were in the middle of the forest so finding wood, branches and twigs and leaves for kindling was rather easy. He was even able to drag over some of the smaller fallen trees he found. Wandering a bit around and behind where the cave was located revealed several small to large sized stones that he was able to move, although the larger ones were quite a bit of work. He was even able to find, rather quickly, a flat stone that could serve well as a grilling surface. What was a bit harder to find were the type of stones he needed to use as the base, as they had to be thick enough, depth-wise, to support the flat stone but wide enough to allow for a fire underneath. It took a good twenty minutes(he's just guessing here) to find what he thought he could make work and drag it back inside the cave.

After taking a quick water break Kieran sat down at the cave entrance to go over his new resources as well as to plan how he wants to make his base safe. Behind him in the cave itself was the pile of wood, branches, and kindling material as well as the makeshift grill. In front of him sat a collection of different sized rocks, ranging from the size of his head to about four times that and three logs of deadwood. Sure he could just pile the rocks in front of the entrance to block it but what would happen if he needed to leave quickly? Or if it was harder to dismantle after hardening it all together with magic? Too many negative variables for that to be a comfortable idea. Nor did he have any idea how to make a door with what he did have on hand, and while the lake was only about twenty feet from the cave, he didn't have enough materials to make a fence or walls. Shaking his head and sighing as he lightly facepalmed "Think Magic damn it!" he chastised himself aloud.

It had been roughly two hours since he started, and he had enough to build a fire and also had meat to cook and bread and fruit to eat with it so he didn't have to worry about hunger. And with the lake so close, though it was inconvenient without a container, he also didn't have to worry about thirst. Shelter was taken care of with the cave itself, though it was going to suuuuuck sleeping on the hard ground by itself. Maybe he could hunt for more furs later if he had enough time, or collect enough grass and foliage to do a makeshift bed. So that meant, worse case scenario, he had at least two hours to figure out this whole Magic thing.

True Elemental Affinity - While not actually giving the user the ability to cast spells from the Elements it does give the user the ability to learn more easily all spells from all Elements eventually

"According to the description I should be able to figure this out manually, and if it's anything like the stories I read, learning how to manipulate the base Element will make for an easier time learning or creating new spells." he reasoned, before closing his eyes and focusing inward. "First things first, find the mana that should be floating around my body. Usually, it's either centrally located in the heart or stomach or it's circulating like a bloodstream. Ah! Maybe I should try Meditation to see if that would make finding it easier. Wait...Meditation...that means I don't have to sleep on the hard ground! Yay!" he thought gleefully before calming himself and activating Meditation in his mind. Immediately he felt a tranquil emotion as his heart and mind centered, his breathing became slow and steady, his racing thoughts calming until he felt as if his consciousness were floating. And he became intimately aware of his body. He felt his heart beating a soft yet steady rhythm, sending blood flowing through his veins to all parts of his body. And underneath it all, he felt power. Power that flowed through him like blood but different, power that enhanced every facet of his body and mind in a way he wasn't quite sure of. Immersing himself in the flow he lost track of time for a while and when he realized it had already been at least an hour. On top of that, it seemed as though the flow had gotten a bit stronger.

Now that was all well and good but it wasn't exactly what he started out to do. And so he turned his senses outward, following the path of power in reverse until he realized he was pulling that power from outside himself. And "opening" his eyes to see what was around him he was not at all shocked to see that power literally permeating everything around him, even the air. It was so thick he had to wonder exactly how he didn't realize it until now. The air, the trees, the water, the earth, it was in all of these things. It was all of these things. And so he reached down with his thoughts, down into the earth itself. It was....at once alien and familiar. Implaccable, eternal, following a cycle of death and rebirth that spanned eons. And it was overwhelming. Quickly pulling back until just beneath the surface, Kieran focused only on the tiniest tip of this proverbial iceberg, the surface layer if you will. And once again he immersed himself, though this time he was carefully paying attention to the time he spent doing so. Once he had finally gotten used to how the Earth felt and behaved he sent out a tendril of his own magic to interact.

All elements are intertwined but they all behave differently. If you could assign personalities to them you could easily see those differences. In this case, Earth was stolid and unmoving. You told it what you wanted it to do and gave it the power to do it. It was more about control and force than it was finesse. So after acclimating himself to how his magic mixed with Earth he seized a little of it and shaped it into a jar. Imagination was key here so he visualized each step of what he wanted to happen. First, it was pulling the dirt up into the air and separating the more harmful minerals out into a separate pile. Next was to shape it into the jar, smoothing the surfaces and making the thickness uniform. And last was hardening it, with just a touch of magic to reinforce his creation. And with a final twist, he tied it all together and let go of the energy. What fell into his waiting hand was a jar, larger than a mason jar but smaller than a pitcher, with a light brown color that almost looked like glazed pottery, but before he could take a closer look into it he heard what was starting to be a familiar message tone.

'Teriin'

"You have learned Mana Perception ★✰✰✰✰"

"You have learned Mana Manipulation ★✰✰✰✰"

"You have learned Earth Manipulation ★✰✰✰✰"

"You have learned Earth Crafting ★✰✰✰✰"

"You have learned the Recipe: Earthen Jar ★✰✰"

Mana Perception - Due to your insight into the true essence of the world you are able to perceive the mana in all things. As a bonus, you are able to tell when magic is being cast near you Mana Manipulation - You have seen the true essence of the world and have bent it to your will. Learning magic and creating spells is 10% easier and has a 10% cost reduction when casting Earth Manipulation - You have seen the true essence of the foundation, the body of the world. Learning Earth-based magic and creating spells is 10% easier and has a 10% cost reduction when casting Earth Crafting - A long forgotten skill, you are able to use your insight into Earth Magic to create items via magic. 10% increase in durability and strength, as well as a 10% cost reduction when working with soil or minerals born from the earth.

For a moment, Kieran was utterly speechless. "Wow.....just...wow," he said in shock. "I expected something but I didn't think it would be all this! Maybe I should go the crafting route after all..." he wondered aloud for a moment before standing up and starting to pace off the area he wanted to enclose. With the skills he just learned it should be easy to make walls to protect his little base camp although that still leaves the problem of doors. "Meh, I can figure that out after I get the basic structure up." And with that, he concentrated and sent out his magic to grab a hold of the Earth again, visualizing exactly what he wanted. First, to raise the earth eight feet high and four inches thick leaving a gap for a doorway half way down that is three feet wide and seven feet high. Next to smooth out the walls, this time enhancing the stronger minerals inside, spreading them out to reinforce the wall as a whole. And finally, hardening it completely and reinforcing it quite a bit with his magic before tying it off again. As he looked at his handy work in satisfaction, he was pleased to see a wall over twenty feet in length, from the rock face about ten feet from the cave entrance down to the lake itself. Because of his paranoia, he actually had the wall about a foot into the water and he planned to put up a fence at least to cover that route in while leaving a way to get water and fish. Nodding once he turned around and did the same to the other side, fully enclosing the area with the exception of the two doorways and the open face of the lake.

'Teriin'

"You have learned Earth Wall ★✰✰✰✰"

Pondering what he should do at the lakefront he raised walls about a third of the way from each wall, leaving a third open to the lake itself. Shrugging his shoulders he just made a half wall that jutted out about a foot from the others that were open at the bottom every foot or so. The gap itself was only about a foot high off the surface of the water and about a foot across, so while it would let water(and possibly fish) in, nothing else should be able to crawl in. With that taken care of and a quick glance at the sun, he focused on his last immediate concern....doors. "I should have enough time to make these doors and scout around for some more rabbits or at least spices to cook with. Worst case I'll just make and tear down the doors each day but I'd rather not in case I need to get in and secure the area quickly."

Racking his brain for a good ten minutes he gave a growl of frustration. "I can't think of a single way to make an actual door with just earth magic. I lack the tools to make something out of wood, and while I could probably learn some wood-based magic I don't have much more time before the sun sets. Wait...I'm doing it again aren't I. Stop thinking using your old common sense and start thinking like this is a game. Surely there is some spell I knew of from one of the ridiculously many games I've played before," he thought with a grimace. "I'm drawing a blank for utility spells from video games. Maybe something from D&D? Wasn't there a spell that allowed you to pass through stone like water? One of those underground racial abilities if I'm not mistaken. Now how would I get that to work here....." he contemplated for a few more moments as he came at it from various angles now that he had a direction to go. "The problem isn't so much getting through as it is not permanently displacing what I'm moving through. I need to have it so my body and magic treat it like water so that it stays in its original shape after I pass through. Hmm." Another solid ten minutes pass before Kieran opens his eyes and looks at the wall in front of him. "Well, nothing for it but to try," he said aloud as if to convince himself. Shrugging, he walked forward and concentrated his magic once again. First, it was on the wall itself, familiarizing his magic with its unique feel. But instead of moving to the next step using the magic of the wall he instead focused on his own body. "The trick probably lies in attuning my magic's signature with the wall's. And then convincing the wall that I'm nothing more than magic passing through? That might work." Slowly he balanced his magic with the wall's, focusing entirely on his left hand. He got as close to the image he had of the wall's signature as he could before slowly pushing his left hand into the wall. At first, there was a little resistance but as he kept pushing it disappeared as he subconsciously matched the wavelength of mana. Once his hand was fully submerged into the wall, which should mean his fingers are sticking out the other side, he pulled it out and canceled the magic to examine his hand.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

"Nothing seems wrong from the looks of it. I can still move everything just fine," he thought as he then pushed his hand against the wall and felt that nothing had changed from before the experiment. Nodding to himself he quickly reattained the state of matching magic signatures before this time incorporating the wavelength thought his whole body. With a quick breath to steady himself, he walked through the wall.....and out the other side! Making sure he was completely out of the wall he released the magic and a familiar tone rang in his head.

'Teriin'

"You have learned Earth Glide ★✰✰✰✰"

Earth Glide - An ability commonly found in Earth Elemental sub-types, this allows the user to move through earth and stone as if it were water. Can not move through metal. Higher levels allow faster movement. Current movement = Walking Speed.

"Holy shit! It worked!" he cried out happily, relief evident in his voice. There were quite a few things that could have gone horribly wrong after all. "Best to focus on what needs to be done now instead of all the things that could have gone wrong and killed me," he thought a bit grimly before walking back in a closing up the holes where the doorways were before casting Earth Glide once more and heading towards the forest. "If I'm lucky I'll be able to at least find some herbs to cook with if not more Horned Rabbits."

A good half hour later and as the sun was starting to set Kieran made his way back towards his campsite. While he didn't find any more rabbits or even a lot of herbs he was lucky enough to find a patch of oddly colored grasses as well as a few edible mushrooms(according to Appraisal). The mushrooms were typical and probably could have been found back on Earth but the grass was interesting and should be fun to cook with.

Firesage - An uncommon grass that is notable for its fiery orange hue and can be used in cooking. When ground it produces an herb that has a spicy yet sweet taste that firmly enhances meat.

Honestly, he couldn't have asked for anything better to start off his first cooked meal in a fantasy world. Plus he reeeaaaally loved spicy things. In his past life, especially as he got older, his body really hated him when he overdid it but he couldn't help himself most times. It was only too bad he didn't have a pan to sautee these mushrooms in or it would be perfect. "Hmm...I wonder if I could make a frying pan? Might as well try when I get back as I need to let the "stove" heat up anyway. I should make a few more jars while I'm at it and a plate and....spoon would probably be easiest to make and use...spoon to go with it." he thought to himself as he made it back to camp and cast Earth Glide to let himself back in. Quickly bringing out the "stove" and setting it up, along with the wood to start a fire underneath he then stopped as he realized what he was missing. "Well shit, I forgot about starting the fire. Oh well, it shouldn't be too hard to figure it out thanks to what I know about Earth and Mana Manipulation."

Once more he sat down, this time in front of the gathered firewood, and activated Meditation. This time was much easier as he knew what to expect and didn't get lost in the wonder of the magic in and around him. The problem started here though. Finding the magic in Earth? Easy as pie. In Water? Different viewpoint but sure that can be done easily too. In Air? Just think in terms of the exact opposite of Earth and you can see how it acts. But....Fire? Well, it might be easier if he had a fire to look at. But the whole point of this exercise was to create Fire so he was starting at a deficit. "All right, what do I know about fire? Simple things: it's hot and it burns things. More complicated things: it consumes something else to fuel it and needs not only a catalyst but oxygen from the air to survive. Also, friction creates heat which is a common fire-starting survival technique so that's a thing. So...maybe if I think about exciting the essence of the wood to generate heat? It's open to the air so I shouldn't worry about the oxygen factor. Well let's try it," and with that he focused his mind on the pile in front of him, reaching out a tendril of magic as he did. "Should I excite the wood itself or the magic inherent inside?" Shrugging he decided to try both at the same time and hoped it wouldn't explode in his face....literally. The tendril of magic gently grabbed a hold of the magic in the wood and then sunk down into the wood itself. Slowly, ever so slowly he started imagining his idea of the process of friction in hopes that it would "excite" something enough to catch on fire. With his eyes focused on the wood, he could start to see a change, that, even though he was wanting it to happen, still took him a minute to figure out that it was heating up the wood itself. Cautious now, as he could just imagine the wood catching fire in an instant, and the resulting explosion of heat, he tried to funnel that new energy towards the top of the pile where he had set some of the kindling before speeding up the "friction". It wasn't even a minute later that the wood briefly started to glow before catching fire. But of course, he wasn't going to stop there. Focusing now on the flames he watched how it moved and reacted, how it felt to his magic, memorizing everything he could about it before coaxing the fire to spread evenly to the rest of the waiting wood. Once he was certain that it was going and would stay that way he relaxed his mind and stopped Meditating.

'Teriin'

"You have learned Fire Manipulation ★✰✰✰✰"

"You have learned Ignite ★"

With a deep breath and a wide grin he quickly stood up and went down to the lake to make and fill up the rest of what he would need for dinner. In no time at all, he made three more jars, filling up two of them, as well as a decent sized spoon, a large plate, a twelve-inch frying pan, and a mortar and pestle to ground up the herbs he found. Oddly enough it wasn't until he made the final piece, the mortar and pestle, that he received a message saying he learned something.

'Teriin'

"You have learned the Recipe: Earthen Utensils ★✰✰"

"Huh...well I'm not going to complain," he shrugged mentally and then put all of his new items in his Inventory and went back to check on his "stove". It was heating up nicely and should be ready soon. With that in mind, he pulled over another flattish rock. After washing it down, he set the mushrooms he found on top of it and pulled out his sword. While it was awkward as hell he eventually managed to cut them into smaller pieces without mangling them too badly. That done he put them into the empty jar he had and put it back in his inventory, pulling out the mortar and pestle as well as a few strands of the Firesage. Getting to work he quickly started grinding the herb down into much smaller pieces. As this was going to be slathered onto the meat he didn't need it finely ground so he was soon finished. Placing the whole thing into his inventory he pulled out one of the Rabbit Meat he got earlier and started examining it. Honestly, it was a decent looking slab of meat with enough marbling to make sure it would provide its own juices to cook in. Setting it onto his cutting-rock he took his sword out again and started to cut the meat into small strips before putting the result into the jar with the mushrooms.

Preparations complete, he walked over to check his "stove" again and held his hand a few inches above the surface. Deciding that it was good enough he quickly took out his new frying pan and set it on top. Letting it warm up for a minute, and firmly lamenting that he had no butter, he took out the jar with the mushrooms and meat and dumped the whole mess into the pan. Working quickly now he took out his ground Firesage and sprinkled a pinch or two over the contents of the pan before stirring with the spoon he made earlier. About five minutes, and three stirs later, he grabbed the jar that had held the mushrooms and meat and put a few more pinches of the ground Firesage as well as a dash of water from another jar before sloshing it around thoroughly. A minute later he slowly poured the tiny bit of herb water over the pan's contents and stirred again. Letting it soak for a few minutes he cleaned up his area and put everything away into his inventory before pulling out his plate and a loaf of bread. With actual meat being on the menu he decided to split the loaf in half and save it for later as he put half on his plate and the other half back into his inventory.

Now that everything was ready it was time to eat! "Wait...how am I going to pull the pan from the "stove"......" he suddenly stopped and asked himself. Racking his brain for a moment he then turned back to his inventory and pulled out one of the Rabbit Fur. It was quite a lovely pelt. Much better than anything he could have gotten on his own that is for sure. Flipping it over he saw the scraped inside and thought, "Meh, it'll work," and used it as a makeshift potholder with the fur facing his hand. Not wanting to damage it any more than was necessary he quickly pulled the pan from the "stove" and onto the cutting-rock. He then put about half of the pan's contents on his plate and put the rest, pan and all, into his inventory to stay fresh before setting the fur to the side to cool off before he put it away. He sat down and pulled the plate with his spoon towards him and just as he was about to take a bite-

'Teriin'

"You have learned Cooking ★✰✰✰✰"

"For making a dish that is above your current limit you have leveled up! Cooking ★★✰✰✰"

"Huh...well that's quite a pleasant surprise. Good to know some of my skills from my past life will carry over at least a little bit. I was never a five-star chef but I did know my way around a kitchen after all" he thought to himself as he took a bite....and froze. Honestly? It was really good. If this were a manga he'd have stars or hearts in his eyes and his clothes would melt off in an orgasmic display of ridiculousness. The meat was only a little gamey, as he'd never prepared rabbit before but the sauce and spiciness of the Firesage along with the flavor and texture of a well-cooked mushroom more than made up for it as it seemed to melt in his mouth. He looked down questioningly as his plate was empty and realized that he had instantly devoured it and was now sopping up the leftover juices with his bread. "And that was only level 2!?!? Well at least I have something to look forward too!" he crowed happily in his mind as he sat back and ate a Pomfris for dessert before washing it down with some water.

As he sat back, his arms supporting him as he lounged, he stared up at the sky and felt, for the first time....well...ever....at peace. The night sky was cloudless and there was a gentle breeze blowing as he gazed upon stars he'd never seen before. "Huh...two moons. Go figure."

Name - Kieran Race - High Human Level - 1 Job - Occupation - Title - Otherworldly Child of Despair HP - 310 MP - 6970 Strength - 17 Agility - 19 Constitution - 21 Intelligence - 56 Wisdom - 43 Charisma - 26 Luck - 87 Growth - 99

Skills   Meditation ★✰✰✰✰ Greater Mana Capacity ★ Enhanced Growth ★ Theory to Application ★ Quality over Quantity ★ Demon Eye of Truth ★ Skill Store ★ Truthseeker ★✰✰✰✰ True Elemental Affinity ★ Gravity Manipulation ★✰✰✰✰ Soul Empowerment ★✰✰✰✰ All Language Comprehension ★ Basic Sword Mastery ★✰✰✰✰ Dodge ★✰✰✰✰ Basic Herbalism ★✰✰✰✰ Stealth ★✰✰✰✰ Sneak Attack ★✰✰✰✰ Focused Hearing ★✰✰✰✰ Mana Perception ★✰✰✰✰ Mana Manipulation ★✰✰✰✰ Earth Manipulation ★✰✰✰✰ Earth Crafting ★✰✰✰✰ Earth Wall  ★✰✰✰✰ Earth Glide  ★✰✰✰✰ Fire Manipulation  ★✰✰✰✰ Ignite  ★ Cooking  ★★✰✰✰