Architecture was never really my thing, and it seemed like the builders of this place shared my lack of enthusiasm for the craft. It was functional, lots of support structures and heavy beams ensured that the roof and stone bricks stayed where they were supposed to, but it wasn’t exactly pretty. It was basically a big stone brick made of smaller stone bricks.
The inside matched the outside perfectly.
Part of me was expecting some kind of medieval tavern, filled with all the rowdy adults and alcohol that would come with it. Reality was a lot less fun, I was hoping someone would accost me in my slick birthday suit and force me to bust some heads, but no one ever did.
At least I got their attention. Every eye in the building landed squarely on my shoulders before falling south, and a big grin spread across my face. This is the kind of entrance every man dreams of making. You walk into a room and everyone stares, slack jawed at your manhood.
“Picked this weirdo up in a dungeon. He’s an outlander, obviously.”
Lorie just pushed on though, quick to ask for her money rather than enjoy the moment. Be still, my beating heart, you’ll get your chance eventually.
“Oh! Of course! If you wouldn’t mind, sir, please step forward. We need a drop of your blood for this process.”
How sketchy. I complied, of course. In my old life, I carried a microphone and GPS in my pocket that actively spied on me while my government had my fingerprints, blood type, and DNA. If these people wanted in on that action, then it was just more of the same.
Holding out my hand, the nice lady behind the counter attempted to prick my finger with a sharp tack. At least, I assumed it was sharp.
“Huh?”
She was a lot more surprised than me or my entourage. I had pummeled that bug pretty good in the dungeon and was covered in blood, so not being easily pricked by receptionists was the least of my daily accomplishments, even if I restricted it to just this world.
“I, uh…” she stumbled through her words, obviously unsure how to proceed. This hadn’t happened to her before, and it was just too adorable.
“Here, let me.”
I took the metal from her and jabbed it into my hand without wincing, blood trickling to the surface as I maintained eye contact with her.
“I got a little overeager, but can you blame me? It’s my first time.” I spoke slowly, my tone heavy and thick with meaning. She just blinked at me, confused as the blood collected for her. After a few seconds, she grabbed the dish now filled with red liquid and quickly left the room. The room was filled with laughter for a while before I realized I was the only one contributing to it. How dare they leave me in the cold like that.
“I’ll have you know that I’m hilarious.”
Without the ability to level up my charisma, I was met with a few smirks and looks of revulsion. They’d come around. Or they wouldn’t. Why the fuck would I care? I was here to kill gods and take names, and I doubt they’d be happy about that either.
“Sorry for the delay,” the receptionist returned, giving a slight bow as she placed two small sacks on the counter. “This one will be for you, Lorie, while the other is for, uh…”
“You may call me The Law.”
I offered, generously. She just gave me a completely blank look while Lorie sighed at me, grabbing her sack of money.
“Try not to get in too much trouble, Red. Go close some dungeon portals after you find some pants and put that thick skull of yours to use. I need to go talk to the local manager. Later!”
And with that, her and her companion were gone, heading further into the giant stone building and leaving me behind without a second look. Oh well, back to the matter at hand.
“Thank you for the money. Now then, how does one go about making more? Preferably through violently slaughtering monsters.”
She gave me a strained smile, clearly not used to people who had such strong convictions when it came to making the world a better place. That or the blood I was covered in was beginning to reek. I preferred the uncertainty and decided not to ask.
“If you become a Stabilizer by joining the Global Stabilizing Alliance, or GSA, then you can go to portal dense areas and close them for pay. Each time a dungeon is emptied of life, they collapse into small crystals of mana that the alliance uses to determine its danger level and the associated pay. Of course, the higher the danger, the better the compensation.”
This was perfect. Being paid only if I finished the job meant that I was being incentivized to grind even more experience! Not that I had a class yet. Wait, that’s a good question.
“I’ll register, then. A map of some nearby dungeons would be good as well.” Looking back down, I concluded that my priorities were a little off. “And I should probably get some clothes and somewhere to wash off. Any suggestions?”
The receptionist had several, and she became even more enthusiastic the further away they became. The side room apparently had a standing map of the region that wasn’t very detailed but contained each dungeon and its danger level, or DL as they called it. As for the other things I’d ask about, I’d have to leave and go elsewhere for those. How expected. Now for the main event.
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“One last question,” I asked, sliding her a few silver coins as she handed me my license, a small thin metal placard with my name and a drop of blood on it. Her face fell fractionally as I spoke, clearly disappointed that I still had more to ask.
“How do I get a class? That seems relevant for a dungeon clearer.”
She stared at me, bewildered. Did I just ask something incredibly stupid?
“You don’t have one already? At that strength?”
How sweet of her to say, but this mousy girl really wasn’t my type.
“I like to work out,” I offered, oozing so much confidence that it would overcome the caked on blood soon.
“Right…” She clearly wasn’t convinced. Whatever, nothing I can do about that. “Well there’s a Guide Crystal at each GSA branch that can be used for class selection and advancement. Supervised access costs one silver and unsupervised costs four.”
“Wait, supervision costs less?”
This time her smile was genuine.
“Yes. We found that people enjoy their privacy enough to pay more for it.”
This smells like a scam, and that’s coming from the guy who reeks of blood. I eyed one of my two possessions in this world, counting only fourteen remaining silver coins. She knew I was poor and obviously didn’t like me enough to care.
“Fine, I’ll go unsupervised,” I ground out while fishing four coins from my pouch. Suddenly, she seemed like the happiest person in the world.
“Thank you very much! Just this way, Lawrence!”
She was practically skipping as she led me out of the large central room and down a hallway lined with candles. Right, medieval times don’t have electricity. That will be fun, I’m sure.
“Just step through here, place your hands on the crystal face, and come out when you’re done. And don’t worry about how few options you have, most people only get three or four base classes during their first selection.”
Happy to be rid of me, she walked away while humming a tune. People in this world were the opposite of subtle.
I stepped into the room and it was exactly as described. In the center was a big blue crystal, about four feet tall while no wider than me. It was cradled in some metal housing that seemed to be equal parts protection and stabilization, how appropriate considering the name of the place.
Ready to get this over with and go get my bath, I placed my hands on the smooth surface. A few seconds later, words began to bubble to the surface as if the object before me was filled with water.
Class selection
Base Classes:
Fighter
Acrobat
Defender
Advanced Classes:
Brawler
Pain Enthusiast
I was beginning to get tired of the insults to my person. There was no world in which I’d choose that class, no matter how good it actually was. And since everything else was some boring base class- seriously what kind of class is acrobat? -I was left with only one choice.
The words bubbled away until only my name and Brawler were left. Then, more bubbled back up to the surface. It didn’t take me long to realize what they were showing me.
You have become a Brawler!
+5 strength, +5 agility, +5 resilience!
You have learned Jab!
Calculating experience…
You have reached level 3!
+4 strength, +4 agility, +4 resilience!
For surviving the breach of worlds and escaping the dungeon, you have been given the Dungeon Blessing! This will assist you in acclimating to this world!
Lawrence Schlager
Classes
Brawler: 3
Professions
N/A
Ability Scores
Health: 870/870
Mana: 0/0
Strength: 81
Agility: 87
Resilience: 92
Magic: 0
Spirit: 0
Awareness: 9
Passive Skills
Infinite Scaling
Unarmed Combat: 24
Pain Tolerance: 11
Masochist: 11
Active Skills
Dimension Tearing: 6
Jab: 1
Boons
Dungeon Blessing
This was probably an alarming status sheet for most people. Also, what the hell was going on? Did that shitty god forget to give me the ability to use magic? Does he expect me to just punch an army of angels to death or something? Also, how had I not realized that I’d gotten such a terrifying fucking skill? “Dimension Tearing” sounds like the exact kind of thing I wouldn’t want to do in most any circumstance, so it was a damn good thing I wasn’t being supervised in here. Also-also, why did I get more questions than answers from all this? What are professions and how do I get one and do I want one?
As I complained internally, the crystal began to glow and warm up. Before I could react, the warmth reached my hands and traveled up my body. Immediately, I could feel my body change, rearranging itself into something better, stronger, faster. It was like the satisfaction and endorphins of a thousand workouts compressed into a couple seconds. And then, just like that, the glow went away, the crystal went dark, and I was left gasping for air for the first time in who knew how long.
“I gotta go get some more levels.”
I stepped out of the room with a fire in my eyes. A different employee was walking down the hall and came to a halt, staring at me with his mouth open. The man was wearing fancy looking clothes but still wasn’t quite as well dressed as me.
“I know, it’s a lot to take in.” Despite my consolation, he seemed to become more flustered than not. He also, I realized belatedly, looked vaguely like someone important, complete with an oversized mustache trending more towards salt than pepper.
“What do you think you’re doing?!”
Right, people get upset when you taunt them while naked in their place of work. Some things are more obvious than others. Being isolated from people for so long really did a number on my social skills.
“Don’t worry, sir. I’m all leveled up and ready to give them hell again! No rest for the wicked, am I right? Dungeons to close? Harumph!”
I put on my best office smile, and he just looked even more confused. But now that he was staring at me again, he seemed to come to a conclusion as well.
“Please don’t come back without proper attire in the future.”
I gave him my most charming smile in response.
“I’ll do my best.”
Now to find some clothes.