Punching trees suddenly made me more nervous than before. Back when my fears had been limited to people, it had been easy enough to face the town and just get into a rhythm. But now I knew that there were giant animals that fought to the death colosseum style as few as a hundred feet behind me and potential murder hobos in front of me.
It was absolutely unfair! If anyone should be the murder hobo then it should be me!
Alas, I still had to get through the day and dying was still off the menu. Unwilling to venture deeper into the shockingly normal looking woods, what with their green leaves and brown trees, I decided to circle around the outskirts in case anything cool looking popped out to me. I pushed the absolute limits of my awareness, trying as hard as possible to find something, anything that I could use to better effect than a literal tree for my strength training. All the rocks I found were too light to matter, despite what first impressions would lead me to believe.
In my mind, a stone the size of my fist carried a good amount of heft to it, but apparently my big numbers were already defying common sense. I may as well have been trying to do curls with an apple. Yea, that sounded like a waste of time.
Really I was hoping to find some kind of mining node like in a video game, but that didn’t pan out either. Punching trees was a dead end, foraging rope like objects from my surroundings was also impossible, and what few rocks I could find were just chunks of limestone with all the weight and structural integrity of a snow globe. Survival games didn’t prepare me at all for my life in another world. Good thing that I could toggle all that shit off.
That reminded me of something as I relentlessly beat into a tree before repositioning myself in slight paranoia. I hadn’t actually checked out the graphics menu since coming here. Back in the shitty zone, the only option I’d been given was to turn off nudity. And while I appreciate that god was kind enough to make his game kid and streamer friendly, that was just one more button I was way too scared to press, no matter how annoying the grass was. But now, apparently some of the menus had changed since getting here. Maybe the kooky old codger really was uploading patches from his very empty paradise. Not like he had anything better to do.
Graphics
Nudity: On
Health Bar: Off
Notifications: On
Holy shit I could turn off the pop ups? That’s all I’d ever wanted, and I even got a health bar too? Maybe I wouldn’t kill that annoying sack of shit after all.
With those changes made, I’d be able to focus twice as much in combat. I’d mostly gotten used to the popups, but not being able to see my health had been incredibly inconvenient. You’d think it wouldn’t on account of the whole pain thing, but my pain resistance skill was consistently racking up points. I genuinely worried about eventually not feeling anything, allowing me to get in over my head until that’s all I was left with. I could just imagine it now, me reduced to a limbless punch machine past its prime, rambling nonstop about the good old days.
I shuddered at the thought, raining jab after jab into the tree unfortunate enough to be in front of me at the time. There were too many emotions that I needed to vent, and hitting things always made me feel better. Looking up towards the sky reminded me that it would be a while before I got to my more therapeutic outlet, but I would push through one way or another. Then I’d figure out a better way to pass the time tomorrow.
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“I am once again asking for your support,” I gave my best politician impression to the stoic figure in front of me who I almost didn’t recognize without his characteristic armor and spear. Looking his plainclothes up and down, I concluded that he looked better on duty.
“Why are you talking like that?” Jim tried to act unamused, but he cracked a smile nonetheless. It didn’t slow him down from drawing a bucket of water, but I’d been scouting around for a friendly face for the past couple hours. In addition to getting an entire point of awareness, I even managed to succeed.
“It’s good manners to act like you’re better than everyone when asking them for a favor. How else would the higher ups maintain their positions of authority.”
The guard looked at me pensively before shrugging, lowering his bucket down the well with a hand crank.
“Guess I can’t argue with that.”
The watering hole was actually pretty nice. The well itself was located in the middle of this large cobblestone square that also had a number of other amenities like a place to wash yourself over a drain. I had no idea this town was even big enough for a sewer system, so that was cool. It probably wasn’t anything all that advanced, but it was good to know. Maybe there were monsters down there. Judging by the fight I saw yesterday, it wouldn’t exactly surprise me.
“Jim, old buddy, old pal. My best friend in the entire world,” I spoke sincerely only to be cut off.
“Your only friend.”
“A meaningless technicality. My guy, how do I get magic?”
He cocked an eyebrow at me as he lugged the now full bucket out of the stone well.
“Specifically, I would like healing magic if possible. On account of my punching things and them hitting me back. I couldn’t begin to guess why, but bugs seem to insist on killing me. I’m something of a magnet for them.”
“A what?”
Oh right. I should probably think more before I speak.
“Never mind. Any ideas on that?”
My good friend shrugged at me as he began the trip back to his house. I offered to carry his incredible burden in trade for his rich secrets, but he just snorted at me. With my only real lead being a dead end, I said goodbye to the man and resumed my search.
There were exactly two more people in this town whose names I knew, which might indicate that I’d become a little antisocial. That was a possibility, but it also meant that I was on the lookout for a couple of adventuring women. Neither had gone out to the three portals that I’d made my home recently, but my trips to the alliance building had shown me just how many other portals there were. Not to mention that another one or two always seemed to pop open and closed between my visits.
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With an idea blossoming based on my fine attention to detail and finally deciding to remember what Lorie had said days ago, I made my way to my place of employment. Once inside the utilitarian building, I went to stare at the map and get some ideas.
There were three DL1 dungeons around the city that I might find them in, and they were all pretty far from each other. If only I had a pair of purple shorts that never tore, then I’d be able to make the trip between them in record time without having to disrobe.
Whatever. Nothing they hadn’t seen before anyway. Mapping out the general location of each portal and paying careful attention to what other portals were nearby along with their orientation, I set out on a quest to find some people I actually knew.
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Nobody went out with parties of just two people. Sure, it would go fine if you were way higher leveled than what you were fighting, but that was a waste of time anyway. Sadly, neither of us had the confidence to push higher danger levels let alone put our lives in the hands of strangers. Not after last time.
Lorie and I were in our fourth dungeon this week alone, trying to use quantity as a substitute for quality. It never worked. Anyone who spent time fighting and getting stronger found out pretty quickly that you got negligible rewards once you started out-leveling the monsters. In fact, at level nineteen, I could tell that I didn’t get anything from the monsters we’d fought the last few days.
Today was no exception.
“Flame breath.”
The skinless quadrupeds in front of us melted under the heat of my magic, leaving little more than dust behind.
“I can’t harvest a pile of ashes, Viv.”
Why was I getting scolded for burning trash?
“I doubt they’re worth the time to carve. Even your profession will barely get experience from something that weak. This is a total waste of time, no matter how you look at it. We’ve barely made six silver this week, Lorie. Six! And I’m not even getting class experience from this, I can tell.”
My sister just frowned, looking me up and down stoically while deciding how harsh she can be with me. Treating me like some kid that needs protection, as if I still needed it. As if I wasn’t the one out here torching monsters by the dozen.
“Look, we can’t handle DL2 on our own, not if they randomly assign them. Anything less than three doesn’t even get a proper grading and is all guesswork anyway, so we can’t go above level one until we can take three. It sucks, but that’s where we are.”
I decided not to point out that multiple parties had tried to recruit me specifically for DL3 dungeons. Lorie hadn’t approved of them so here we were, killing entire dungeons worth of fodder until we could hit the level twenty advancement. It was going to be a while.
Finally, we arrived at the central chamber of this place. Like most low level dungeons, it was a cave structure with tunnels and unintelligent inhabitants. The enemies here were all skinless and running on all fours, muscles and bone on full display. Between that and their deformed maws, it was likely that they would be at a higher danger level without whatever damage had been done to them initially. For that reason, Lorie and I were being extra cautious closing this place out.
Not every dungeon had a boss, but most did. Usually it was just the matriarch or patriarch of whatever species was running rampant in the place, and that could be dangerous in this circumstance. With my magic thrumming inside of me, words of power rising in my throat for a cast, my instincts warned me of danger.
I spun around with Lorie as she tried to move in front of me, but the blur was much too fast, closing in on us with a speed that shouldn’t be possible at this danger level. Even if they had really messed up and this was actually DL2, nothing should be able to move that fast here. The blur managed to reach us before a single word made its way out of my mouth, and I prepared for death.
“Lorie! Vivette! Long time no see!”
Before us stood a stranger who, for some reason, was holding his pants rather than wearing them. My mind was reeling, trying to figure out if we were still in danger when Lorie figured out what was going on.
“Is that you, Red? I’d say you clean up well, but I can barely recognize you without your paint job.”
I felt the blood rush out of my face at the realization. We’d talked about this man since our fortunate run in with him. At length. Originally I’d had a lot of positive things to say about him, but that was before Lorie told me her impression. She described him as someone we needed to avoid at all costs. His mental instability was as obvious as his incredible strength, a potent combination that made him completely unpredictable and dangerous.
“Well, I can always change that. There’s always plenty of red paint around if you know where to look.”
He was going to kill us. He saved our lives once and decided to undo the favor. The wild grin on his face betrayed any semblance of reason that would be found in an ordinary person, but Lorie kept her cool in my stead.
“We were just about to go in there looking for some. Trying to get stronger for those level twos and threes, you know?”
“Oh?” He looked past them into the dark chamber beyond. Whatever resided in there had the power to darken its surroundings enough to make Lorie’s scouting abilities moot. “That guy doesn’t look so tough. I’ll wait here and spot you. I’m not about to kill-steal someone I’m about to try and ask help from, but I’ll swoop in and join you if it starts looking dicey.”
I had no idea what he was saying, but could he actually see inside?
“You want to watch our backs?”
Even with her acting skills, Lorie still let her frown through. Wait, he was expecting them to turn their backs on him? That was insane!
“Yea! I was hoping to ask you some basic adventuring questions since everyone’s been super hostile to me aside from you two. Figured that extending an olive branch before asking for one was just basic courtesy. Unless you’d rather me fight with you.”
“No!”
I was surprised to hear my own voice and apparently so were they. This monster hiding as a person was just too unnerving for me to act normal around.
“That’s fine, no big deal. You’re here for experience which just makes sense. Like I said, I’m not gonna steal it from you. I’ll even wait outside if you prefer. It’s cool, chill even.”
He was talking nonsense again, presumably some quirk of his home plane or from living with nothing but bugs for so long. Maybe both. Either way, it was still summer outside and not even approaching chilly in these caves.
“We can handle it, but today’s a little busy for us. How about I meet you tomorrow, and we can talk about dungeon things. The Galloping Pig at sixth bell. Do you know when and where that is?”
He nodded, a huge smile on his face as I stared at my sister with shock.
“Yep, noon and I can find it. I’ll see you then!”
Just as fast as he arrived, he sprinted out of their sight. I just continued to stare at Lorie.
“What?”
“You said he was dangerous and was to be avoided at all costs!”
She scratched the back of her head slightly as a tinge of red made its way to her ears.
“I mean—”
“You know what?” I interrupted her, turning back towards the monster in the cave. “I don’t care. You can tell me all about it after we get out of here. For now, I just want to get my level and leave.”
My sister was always trying to protect me from any man that so much as looked at me, but this time the man in question never even spared me a second glance. Did that make her trust him? But then why would she have said all those things about me avoiding him? I hadn’t even been worried about our blood soaked savior until she’d told me to be! So why would she—
Whatever. My sister and the stranger could wait. We had a dungeon to clear.