Perhaps I overreacted. Just a little bit. The large insect lay before me in pieces, chunks of its flesh strewn about whatever place I had found myself in. It was a curious choice of design, that’s for sure. All I can say is if a person built this place, they’re in more desperate need of help than I am, and that’s saying something.

Meanwhile, two women had just watched me go to town on the bug with horror pasted on their faces. They were also up to their knees in blood by this point since my previous exit hadn’t stopped bleeding. I don’t know why punching and kicking the void stuck me in a wall of flesh, but I was too happy to be out to complain.

“Yo!”

I decided to be a friendly neighbor and wave to my new acquaintances. They recoiled at the sight, eyes wide as they watched my every movement with extreme caution. Something slightly obvious then occurred to me and left me feeling stupid.

“Can you even understand what I’m saying?”

One of the women, the one that wasn’t wearing robes and holding a useless looking wooden stick, waded forward a step at that. Some measure of resolve entered her face as she spoke up.

“We can. It’s part of the gift of the dungeon. Are you a friendly or a monster?”

That was an interesting question to ask a naked man that you’ve just met. Actually, no, it was a pretty reasonable one now that I thought about it.

“Fair question. I’d rather kill monsters than befriend them, so hopefully that’s good enough. Not that I see any more around here.”

The woman, who was quite pretty now that I got a good look at her, just gave a slightly pained smile. Her dark hair was cut short, presumably to avoid getting in the way during battle, and she carried a short blade in either hand while wearing some sort of leather armor. Sadly, the leather wasn’t as tight as it could be, but that did little to hide her good figure. Her friend, the one wearing a colorful bathrobe and shaking like a leaf, was considerably more boring. She looked like one of those characters you’d see on TV, all prim and proper, blonde hair, blue eyes, long curls, easily the least interesting person I could have met. Even more disappointing, they both seemed to be humans.

How the hell did I tear my way through dimensions just to end up hanging out with more humans?

“Whelp, I’m glad I could help out. Uh, you wouldn’t happen to have any spare clothes, would you?”

The two rehashed their shocked looks before the blonde’s eyes inevitably fell from mine, her face flushing as she turned away. The fighter looked down too, but her thoughts stayed focused on the here and now.

“I just assumed you were supposed to look like that. Are you not some red skinned kin?”

Now things were beginning to make some sense. I was absolutely soaked in blood after my little escapade, and that probably made me look a lot less human than usual. With some rather extreme hand scrubbing that probably removed a little skin, I managed to wipe some of the caked on coloring from my face.

“I’m actually just a regular old guy, truth be told. Just had to fight through a mountain of flesh to get wherever I am. You know, the usual.”

The look on her face told me that it wasn’t usual at all.

“Right, well Stabilizers get coin rewards for intelligent life found in dungeons and pays to help you integrate into your new home. So if you’d like some free money, we can take you there. Everything we have on us will be about as ruined and soaked as you already are, but you’re welcome to go diving for some anyway.”

“Damn,” I spat to the side, unwilling to hide my disappointment. “I was really looking forward to some clothes. Surely they have some there though so lead the way, oh maiden.”

I gave an exaggerated bow which got a huff from the woman in question and some more attention from the embarrassed girl. Unfortunately for her, bowing at the waste drew her eyes exactly where they’d been before. At least I wouldn’t be the only person with a red face walking out of here.

Even with my introduction and promise of friendship, my newfound companions seemed very leery of me. Maybe it was on account of me tearing my way out of a mountain of flesh directly in front of them before dismantling a big bug. Maybe that was their friend or something. This is a different world. Probably. I think I’d have heard about it if someone had discovered a bunch of fleshy tunnels on Earth.

“That big bug wasn’t a friend of yours or something, was it? I recently developed a strong dislike of bugs and kind of just lost it.”

This time, I managed to get something resembling a real smile from the woman which finally put me at ease.

“No, it was definitely not our friend. The monster was blocking our exit and about to eat the two of us for lunch. It’s spawn had already gotten our other teammates before you arrived and took care of it.”

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry, no wonder you two are so stiff and wary of me. I’m suspicious as hell and you just watched two friends die.”

She waved me off but the blonde looked like I’d hit the nail right in the head.

“They were teammates, not friends. In this line of business, it’s too dangerous to get attached to the rest of your party. It’s our third wipe, and we’re still new at this. I’m Lorie, by the way.”

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Incredibly callous and practical while still sticking to her only friend. It wasn’t subtle how she kept herself between me and the blonde at all times, and I honestly appreciated it. God, if this is my Eve, then we’re cool.

“You may call me The Law,” I said, projecting my voice down the fleshy tunnel. When she looked at me like I was an insane person, I just chuckled. “I’m fucking with you. My name is Lawrence, but my friends call me Law. Nice to meet you, Lorie.”

That got a grin out of her as her friend finally got the courage to speak up.

“I’m Vivette. Nice to meet you, Law.”

I gave her a nod, returning the greeting before turning back to Lorie who was giving me a very cold glare for a reason I couldn’t guess.

“Did I do something? Because, in case my attire didn’t give it away, I’m a little out of my element here. Trust me, I’m not trying to piss off the first people I’ve seen in who knows how long.”

That softened her face slightly as Vivette perked up as well.

“Wait, so it was just you and those bugs? How did you survive without armor? I can see that weapons wouldn’t really be a problem for you, but still.”

Ah, a small misunderstanding that I should probably keep for the time being. I didn’t love deceiving people, at least not without an appropriate paycheck, but telling them that I’m on a god killing mission would probably be stupid. And really, how well could I explain my little pocket dimension paradise anyways?

“I’m pretty tough, don’t worry about me. Sadly, my clothes didn’t make it through whatever rift brought me here.”

Now Lorie was looking positively smug while Vivette turned away with a pained expression on her face. I gave them a questioning glance which got them to spill the beans.

“You’re not the first person to get here through a dungeon, but I’ve never heard of them being naked.”

I stopped.

“You’re telling me that dimensional travel is possible with clothes on and I’m the weirdo?”

Lorie’s smile grew as she looked me up and down slowly while the other woman stiffly kept moving forward.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

I take it back. I’m going to murder the fuck out of that piece of shit god.

I was still grumbling when we made our way out of the flesh pit or wherever we were, stepping suddenly into a large grass field after walking through a large glowing portal. Oh no, not again!

“Come on, your free coin is this way.”

Oh thank the lord and his perfectly groomed beard! I’m still free. Birds were singing, wind was blowing, and there was a town in the distance that probably wasn’t a watercolor painting.

“Sure, lead the way,” I spoke calmly. No need for them to realize just how big of a deal this was for me.

Once they turned to take the lead, I did a quick air pump to display my happiness. It was shockingly loud, making a whoosh noise that caused them to look back at me. I did my best to whistle and pretend nothing had happened, but I’d never been able to do either of those things.

“You’re easily the most suspicious friendly I’ve ever met.”

Oh Lorie, I couldn’t agree more. I just gave a lopsided smile and followed them wherever we were going. With my stats being big numbers by now, I could probably defend myself in the worst case scenario, but hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.

A couple of minutes later and we’d reached the walls that I’d seen in the distance. Now that I was up close, I could tell that they were several feet thick and built out of some dark material I couldn’t recognize. Whatever it was, the stuff looked strong. Maybe even stronger than the invisible wall I broke, but probably not. For some reason, it made me feel better to know that I could break something, causing a little tension to leave my body. Some guard people wearing metal armor spoke to Lorie for a while, checked her papers or something, and looked at me with concern while gripping their spears.

Oh buddy, go on and try it. See what happens.

“We’re good. Just make sure you come back at some point to register with the city guard. Ok, Law?”

“Fine,” I said through a sigh, eliciting a reaction from the men in question. Despite their obvious unease, the gate eventually opened and we were allowed through.

“Those were the Rift Plains we were just in. Every once in a while, monsters will wander out of a dungeon so it’s safer for everyone to keep them as isolated as possible.”

She talked as if I understood half of what she was saying. I had no idea why she was so confident of that, but I really didn’t want to sound like an idiot in front of the first pretty woman I’d seen in my new life. Now that I thought about it, I did the same thing with my old ex girlfriend. Some habits were hard to break.

“You know I’m baiting you, right?”

That caught my attention. Lorie was looking at me like a cat with a mouse, eyes grinning with amusement that barely reached her mouth.

“I know you don’t know anything. You’re supposed to be asking questions, not just blindly following strangers. Didn’t your parents teach you better than that?”

A good question and a reasonable stance to take. Honestly, it was a relief to be able to finally get some answers on what was going on. I’d start at the beginning though.

“Ok, I’ll bite. The fuck’s a dungeon?”

She shrugged at that.

“Beats me.”

I stared at her for a while as she turned forwards and continued leading us through the busy streets of wherever. Cobblestone below me, brick buildings around me, horses, carriages, yea I was definitely in some medieval era town. Not that the daggers and leather armor hadn’t already made that obvious. And yet, all of my attention was on the shit eating grin in front of me.

“Fine, I’ll tell you what I know. I guess the world tears open every once and a while, letting shards of broken worlds settle into place. They sometimes have loot or good materials, sometimes there are even people who may or may not look like us, but there’s always monsters. Either way, people like us go around, killing the dangerous stuff inside, saving the helpless folk, and getting paid to close the things. Make sense?”

Hardly, but I would be more strategic with my questions.

“How do you close something like that?”

“Oh that’s the easy part. Once nothing living is inside of one, they close on their own. Basically, if you just kill and free everything and everyone inside then they just shut down.”

Now she had my attention.

“So you’re telling me that you get paid with money to go around slaughtering monsters and digging for loot in fleshy caves?”

Vivette flushed red again, trying to make my current attire jealous no doubt.

“They’re usually not fleshy, but yes.”

“Where do I sign up?”

She flashed me a devilish grin as we came to a stop in front of an enormous, stone building.

“Right here, Red. Just follow me.”