The boat that took Thar from the northern lands Haur had taken charge of and to the Rube Islands where his mahee called him had become so familiar. He knew that the darker horizon approaching them meant a storm, and he also knew this captain preferred to get them closer to the Moving Islands than to enter the Rube Islands from the northern passages. It added another day to their journey.
When they finally docked, Thar felt a sudden rush inside him. He had been visiting Darania and D’Argen for the past few years now, and though his mahee sang and pulled and goaded him into rushing forth, he never did. This time, something felt different. He was unable to help himself when his feet moved a bit faster than usual. He was almost tempted to ignore the caravan that would travel through the hills and to the city of Ruby, but there was no reason for it.
Once the caravan crested the final hill that blocked his view of the city of Ruby, Thar’s mahee jumped. He practically fell out of his seat in surprise. The mortal sitting beside him grinned.
“Excited too?” she asked. “I haven’t seen my wife and kids in almost a year now. First time I did this trip, I actually ran from here all the way home.”
Thar only hummed. He placed a hand on his chest to calm his mahee.
The woman beside him grinned wider and copied the gesture. “I know, my heart too.”
Thar ignored her even as she tried multiple times to strike up a conversation. His silence did not deter her. By the time they entered the city boundaries, the first of the short square buildings made of sand passing them by, he knew her entire life story. Or, at least, he would have, if he had been listening. It was not that her voice was unpleasant, but the churning of his mahee inside him had him distracted. He was still not used to the sensation, even almost a decade since he first felt it. He was so used to the stillness and then sudden explosion of what his mahee could do, that the first time it churned slowly inside him he had almost frozen the entire room he was in solid.
The caravan stopped.
The woman jumped out of the wagon and ran off without another word.
Thar realized he never caught her name even though he now knew she and her wife had run off to the Rube Islands to be together because their parents disapproved of them. He was pretty sure he could recall her parents’ names if he tried.
“Will that be all, Missir?” the caravan’s leader asked when he walked up to him.
Thar did not correct the title and nodded. He handed over a small jewel even though he had been told multiple times that the gods did not need to pay, and left. The caravan stopped near the dying district, the scents overpowering but also where most of the trade for the Rube Islands centered. The walk through the district was always amusing, even if he did not show it. Vendors were careful with their powders and inks, as if afraid to stain his white robes, and hagglers made sure to step out of his way quickly. Yet it was at the edges of the dying district that Thar started gathering his following.
As before, he ignored the patter of small feet. Usually, he would stop at a random stall and look around, forcing his followers to try and hide, but this time his mahee urged him more than before. It had not been that long since his last visit, yet his mahee…
It was different.
He did not stop at a stall, but he made sure there were not that many people around him before releasing a tiny fragment of his mahee. The laughter and cheers behind him had him smiling and glancing back for a moment. The kids that had been following him were now busy dancing between snowflakes before they could melt under the hot sun.
The giant complex that served as the centre of the city of Ruby and all of the Rube Islands consisted of close to fifty buildings. The tallest of them was barely three stories. They were all wide and few of them had doors. Darania considered this place a school, a home, a hospital, and a refuge all at once. The gardens between the buildings were always lush and there was latticework between many of the buildings where vines and flowers grew, creating a natural shade.
Thar took one of those paths, hiding from the hot sun, and entered a small courtyard with more wooden lattice above him and even more vines. He could see the single storey building that served as a healing hall. It was one of the few buildings with wooden doors. Before he could take another step forward, Darania appeared around a corner and walked right up to him.
“You cannot go further. Not today,” Darania informed him after a simple greeting.
Thar looked over her short form. She may have been the leader of his aspect, the strongest of them all, but she was barely tall enough to reach his chest and tiny. He could easily push past her. If she did not use her mahee. His own mahee had calmed and was now tugging him in a dozen different directions at once. One of those led to that building and to a single room where he knew D’Argen lay. Suddenly, that tug disappeared and lashed back, as if bouncing off of something. It did not hurt, but it still caught him off guard and he reached for his chest, reached deeper for his mahee to calm it and figure out what it was.
“Is your mahee okay?” Darania asked him just as Thar went to push past her orders anyway.
Thar let go of his chest and stopped pushing. He looked away in answer. There was something going on, but it was not wrong.
“Are you in pain? What is it?”
“No pain,” Thar answered without lying or elaborating further.
“What happened?”
“It does not matter.”
“Yes. It does. And it matters to D’Argen too,” Darania said.
Thar stared at the vines over her shoulder that hung almost to the ground. He saw two familiar faces standing near the doors of the healing complex. Lisa and Mayan. Lisa was smiling at him and Mayan, as usual, was trying to use his bulk to intimidate him with crossed arms and a severe frown.
“What happened?” Darania asked and reached for him.
“Something,” Thar answered without lying. He watched Lisa’s hands as she said something quickly to Mayan, but he was not able to catch everything. Mayan nodded, glared at Thar, and walked away.
“Let me check,” Darania ordered, trying to bring his attention back to her. She motioned to his neck and Thar ducked his chin out of instinct. “Thar, I have done this for you before. What is it?”
“I told you. Something. Happened.”
“What was it?”
“I do not know, but I am fine. I am not in pain, my mahee is working fine, and it is full,” Thar listed but did not lift his chin. “Leave it be.”
“You know I will not. Look, I gave you some time. I understand that what happened up there those years ago was traumatizing, but even if you do not want to tell me, I want to make sure you are alright.”
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Thar shook his head and said, “No.”
Lisa shifted her weight and Thar narrowed his eyes at her. As he watched, Mayan returned. A moment later, he noticed small groups of people coming from different directions, some passing through the courtyard, and gathering in their usual spot under D’Argen’s window. Mayan had gathered the singers. Thar tried to recall Lisa’s quick hands, but then Darania spoke again.
“I will not let you go to his rooms until you do,” she threatened. It sounded weak.
“Not until you promise.”
“Promise what?”
“Nobody can know. Not until… not until D’Argen consents.”
Darania frowned but nodded.
Then Thar lifted his chin to her. He was safe here, he knew it, even as he felt her small hand touch him and a moment later, he felt her presence as she entered his mahee.
“It is different,” she said and dug deeper.
Thar tried to ignore the strange feeling. Although it had been years since had done this to him, it was like it had been the day before. He worried, for a moment, that she would find the missing chains around his mahee, but that should have been the least of his worries.
“Something is off,” she said and reached further into him.
When he felt her brush against the churning waves of the ocean that had settled inside him, he felt her shock. She disconnected so quickly that it felt like she took a part of him with her. He rubbed his throat to soften the pain then noticed the horror in her eyes.
“How?” she whispered the single word out. “How did this happen?” she asked again, her voice more forceful.
Thar felt another strand of his mahee, those pieces dragging him in different directions, snap back to him. It was not painful but it left him disoriented for a moment. It left a bad taste in his mouth, like something sour. Another strand snapped back and then more and more and more and Thar barely held in his gasp. His mahee was acting like never before. No. That was a lie. It had been acting strange since the moment he connected with D’Argen in that cavern. It had been acting stranger ever since, fluctuating and not always answering his call, so strong sometimes that he had started to question even Darania’s orders. It had been acting even stranger since he stepped foot on the boat that was to return him to the Rube Islands once more.
“My mahee was almost dormant. D’Argen tried to replenish it,” Thar finally said. If he focused on the north and the connection, if he focused on the runner, maybe he would be able to figure out what was happening. If Darania accosted him now, she must have felt something in D’Argen’s mahee as he healed and rested. Something that had her worried enough to try and command him. Maybe, if she had a sliver of information, she would be able to help him figure out what was happening and how to get D’Argen up and running again faster.
As he thought this, Darania was speaking, but he was unable to focus on her words. Something impossible, about splitting, about Vah’mor, but Thar felt a pounding at his temples and his mahee started churning, wilder and wilder. He became lighter for a moment, almost as if a wind had picked him up though his feet were solid on the ground. He took a deep breath to expand his chest and felt like he was falling on the exhale.
D’Argen.
Something was happening.
This was not Thar and his mahee. This was…
“May I see D’Argen now?” Thar asked in the silence, waiting for her permission to move.
Darania visibly flinched. He looked back at the complex but the singing mortals were gone. Lisa and Mayan were standing at the doors almost like guards.
“Where is he?” Thar asked, afraid of the answer.
“He woke up and left.”
Thar did not even realize there was another strand, another piece of his mahee tugging him in a different direction, until it snapped back into him as well. It felt like a whip of wind against his core. It should have hurt. It did not.
“Where?” Thar asked.
“Will you follow him?”
Yes. Thar hesitated. No. Should he? Maybe… maybe it would be best that he did not. D’Argen had to have known Thar was arriving. If he left, it was clearly to avoid him. Right? Or maybe…
“Yes,” he finally answered.
“I do not know,” Darania answered. It felt like a lie. Thar narrowed his eyes on her. “I did not ask and he did not say.” That felt more true but it still felt like a deceit of some sort. “But if this connection between you two is like this, I want him back. He did not let me touch his mahee, but I have to see what is happening between you two. You two and… and Lilian.”
“Lilian?” Thar asked yet the name also brought realization. Lilian’s winds.
“He said he had a thought, something to check on the mainland,” Darania informed him instead of confirming his thoughts. “He said he would return soon.”
“Soon for D’Argen can be a day or a decade.”
Darania smiled, but it looked pained.
Thar thought about it for a long time and then nodded. “If you let him go, then I take it he is fine.” He made sure not to make the words sound like a question.
“Of course. Mayan has been helping him. You can ask him about D’Argen’s progress.”
Thar found himself glaring at Mayan before he realized he was doing so. Once he did, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let the cold of his mahee fill him until it froze the breeze that churned the waves. The breeze. He had not realized what it was before.
The heat from the sun above dissipated and he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off him.
D’Argen did not want to see him. Fine.
They would have to meet and talk about this, figure out this bond between them, but it was clearly not a priority for the runner. Did D’Argen already regret it? Maybe, if they did not meet, not under Darania’s scrutiny, whatever this connection between them was could remain. Maybe Thar could find D’Argen for them to talk it over first, before Darania dug deep enough into it to leave a trace of her scent behind. Maybe, he could never see D’Argen again and keep feeling the churning waves inside him, now stronger than he ever felt them before. He knew D’Argen was using his mahee, he knew the other was running. Would D’Argen be able to cross the waters? Was D’Argen’s mahee stronger the same way Thar’s was?
So many questions, but Thar knew one thing for sure, he had no idea what he wanted. He wanted to find D’Argen, but he did not want to talk to him. He wanted to see the runner safe, but he did not want him running around. He wanted this connection between them kept secret, but he wanted to understand it. He wanted it gone. But he could have sworn he just felt D’Argen smile.
He wanted others to know what D’Argen felt, but he did not want to see the man. And, as much as he trusted Darania and knew she would be the best option to help him, he did not want her anywhere near their bond.
Was that selfish? He ignored the thought before it could fully form.
Thar pulled out a small bag from his robes and held it out to Darania. “Dried apricots. For the kids,” he offered.
Darania took the bag.
Thar turned around and left before she could say anything else. If D’Argen was not there, there was no need for him to remain.
Yet he remained.
He did not stay at the main complex, but Thar rented a room near the dying district. He barely left the room, trying to sort out his wants and feelings. There were so many, his thoughts jumping back and forth between different ideas and topics before he could fully settle on one and understand it. It was disorienting and it both angered and annoyed him.
The kids of the district quickly learned where he stayed and they were his one salvation. When he was not trying to sort out his thoughts, he either sat outside the inn or at his window and made snow fall for the kids that gathered. Their laughter made him smile and their joy tasted sweet. His thought jumped again before he could analyze it.
When he was not trying to understand his own mind or distract himself with the children, he slept. It was peaceful. It had been a long time since he could wake up and remember his dreams. The past few years had consisted of waking up crying, sweating, hurting, and he even woke up from pure rage on a few occasions – yet now he drifted calmly to sleep and then awoke just as calmly. He recalled his dreams with a startling clarity and though most of them were not pleasant, none of them evoked any strong feelings in him.
Except the day he finally left the Rube Islands.
That morning, he woke up with a shout, startling the other inhabitants at the inn and bringing the temperature so far down that the entire building was steaming. His eyes were wet even as his blood boiled with anger. He looked down at his hands and could have sworn they were soaked in blood and he was holding a silver sword in one of them. The thought of the sword did not leave him all day. Something about that sword called to him. Even as the dream faded away, as all dreams naturally did, the image of the sword did not. He recalled its thin blade, the waves of the folded metal, the silver glow of it, the leather hilt, the markings…
He could not recall anyone ever creating something so elegant other than Adda-on. And while Adda-on had died when the demons returned for the second demon wars, every weapon she ever made had been recorded in one of Vain’s tomes at the library.
Thar may not have been allowed back in Evadia without orders, but he had been in the Rube Island long enough for Vah’mor to hear of it and order him back anyway. He set off without looking back.
When his feet felt lighter and his mahee tugged on him to stay, to move, to go back, he ignored it all. When he felt a cold breeze ruffle his hair and breathed in the scent of the ocean, he boarded a boat set to go to the mainland. When something flashed across the water out of the corner of his eye, he closed his eyes and then closed off his mahee completely.
And if he just so happened to miss D’Argen, well… that was one of his wants, was it not? Was it even his?