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Glitched Amazon; Ghosts Only Die Once
Chapter 3: N.A.P.I.L. is a Terrible Acronym Anyways

Chapter 3: N.A.P.I.L. is a Terrible Acronym Anyways

Sometime later, after a long bath, an hour moving a few threadbare bits of furniture around, and a quick trip to the market to buy an overly large T-Shirt that read, “Yes, I am wearing a chainmail bikini under this shirt, trust me,” I was ready to be seen in public with other players.

I felt a bit nervous, as Aida opened up a portal to the conference room where the lunch was being held. I was self conscious about being the only person in the room who didn’t have any memories of anything that had happened more than two hours ago. The T-Shirt was meant to be funny, but I felt vulnerable. Maybe I was reading too much into the actions of one naked player, but the way Emily had reacted seemed to indicate that sort of thing was commonplace.

Everyone else was wearing a costume, and they didn’t care who saw that costume naked, but my mind had latched on to the idea that if I were naked, then it was the real me naked. I didn’t have any other body, just this one, thus I’d bought the T-Shirt. I just didn't feel comfortable going to a "lunch" with only a semi see through chainmail bikini, would everyone think I was a prude?

Fortunately no one was naked at the long table we were gathering at, and I recognized Emily standing next to another older woman in heavy armor, for an amazon. She was wearing a plate mail bikini with only a thin slice of exposed midsection. All the other players were young like me, and dressed in much flimsier chainmail. I was, predictably, the only one wearing a T-Shirt over their armor, but everyone seemed to think the shirt was funny and I got a few chuckles as I walked over.

“Love the shirt,” The woman next to me said as I sat down, I recognized her, she was the large chested woman I’d seen naked earlier. Her chainmail bikini was much bigger than mine, and the way it protected its cargo made me wonder if her armor was also heavier than mine, as it had much further to go to protect the same assets. “My name is Femme Fatale007,” She said with a grin, streching out her hand to me.

I took the hand and shook it, “Sarah Longshot,” I replied.

“Oh nice name, sounds more like a real name than mine.” Femme said with a grimace, “I’m starting to think adding the 007 was a mistake, but as I should have known, the Femme Fatale name was already taken.”

“Is that a name I should recognize?” I asked, worried that my failure to pick up on cultural references from the real world would mark me as odd.

“Nah, just the title of an old movie I liked, oh, and I think its french or something,” Femme said with an unconcerned shrug. “Hey, want to team up later? If this is anything like the Assassin Starting Area, they will tell us to form up in pairs.”

“Sure,” I said, “this is my first starting area though, so not sure how much help I’ll be to the, ah, team,” I said hesitantly.

“Pfft,” Femme said dismissively, “Its a starting area, its a cakewalk. Don’t worry if this is your first character, I’ll give you tips to get started. We’ll be done with this noob content in no time and out into the real game.” She assured me.

I nodded, thinking to myself that I’d been warned not to leave the starting area until I was “fixed,” but hopefully that wouldn’t take too long.

At the front of the table, Emily cleared her throat, “Girls, this is Commander Keira,” she introduced the other older warrior woman. “She’s been assigned to take care of all you poor souls with Player Sickness, so remember, she’s an actor who will give you missions and reward you with experience and gold so treat her with respect.”

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Commander Keira shot Emily a stern look, “Don’t go encouraging their madness, sergeant, the only reason we put up with these crazed recruits is because people with player sickness always end up becoming powerful heroes for our people. So, it is a sign of greatness that you all think you are from some other world, and I am here to make sure that greatness serves the Amazon Tribal Nation!” She explained, addressing the new players. She did sound sincere, and I found myself nodding, even while the rest of the new players started laughing. Commander Keira didn’t seem to care. “I am also told that if I kill you, you will return to life in two months, so remember that I’m 100 levels higher than you and I will brook no disrespect.”

The table quieted down. I remembered that upon death, players were forced to log out for 24 hours and that one minute of real time was an hour of game time, so, from the perspective of the actors who lived here, players took a full two months to revive. That was a pretty long time to be dead.

“You can’t kill us, this is a safe zone,” One player pointed out with a sneer.

“Even better, that means I can keep on hitting you until you learn respect, perhaps you’d like to test it out?” Keira said with a feral grin. “I assure you, you will still feel the pain.”

No one else said anything.

“Good, now, crazy newbies that you are, I have a task for you. You will form up in pairs and go kill rabbits in the Child’s Hunting area until you reach level 5!” Keira said with a disapproving scowl then turned to nod politely to Emily and left.

As soon as the words had left Keira's mouth, a blue screen appeared that read, "Rabbit Hunting: A non-optional quest has been given, you will not be able to progress until it is completed. Time to complete: Indefinite, Reward: 100 gold, and a class specific skill."

Emily gave a chuckle after Keira left, “Man, she is one tough cookie, right?” there was a muted mummer of agreement. “Well anyways, that’s your quest, it should take you two days to do it. Remember to bring camping supplies. Anyone got any questions?”

“You're going to show us how to use a bow and spear?” One of the players asked, nervously.

“Don’t need to, your bodies already know how. The trick is not to think about it, just go with the flow. If you’ve never played a full dive VR game before it might take a little while, but you’ll get the hang of it. The system has built in the muscle memories you need and as you level up your skills you will find your body getting better and better at them without you needing to do much.”

“How soon till we leave this boring starting area?” the same sneering player asked again. Curious, I stared at her closely and her name showed up: Thotslayer Maximus. What an odd name, I thought to myself, what’s a “Thot”? I wondered.

Emily shrugged, “That’s entirely up to you, the starting area is a safe and easy way to get to level ten over the course of a week, or you could leave at level five right after finishing Keira’s quest. There's a low level forest just outside the starting area for those that want to take the fast and risky road. Remember, IF is an open world, so there’s a lot of choices, but if you walk into an area that’s too high level, you probably will die, so I don’t recommend exploring without gathering some info first. A prepared player is a live player, that’s my motto.”

Thotslayer looked like she was about to say something sarcastic, but suddenly, she turned to glance at me instead. What the hell? Why was she looking at me? I wondered. “Any chance we could get another live show?” She asked with a sneer, “I’m bored.”

I realized Thotslayer was actually looking at the big breasted blond next to me, Femme, my new friend who had earlier run through the town naked. Femme actually blushed, but then she stood up, “I’ll give you a show alright, of me kicking your ass!” She yelled.

Emily sighed. “Not here, girls, save that aggression for the hunting grounds.” She told us, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “The two of you can compete to see who makes it to level 5 first, to prove who’s the better gamer or something.”

Thotslayer laughed. “That will be me. I’m going to be a pro.”

“Ha, in your dreams,” Femme said, grabbing my shoulder, “We’re skipping this lame lunch so we can start sooner and win faster!”

With that she dragged me out of the room before I could think of a polite way to say, “no, please let me enjoy my first meal, I literally can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten anything!”