Operation Cabana Day 1:

Still Alive. Barbz, Supa-Tee, and Girly are red pulp. Got Girly's gun, it shoots more. We is always movin' always finding better places to fight, but these Good Guys is tough. They do not stop shooting unless you hit them in the face. Our bullets is too small. Drummin Man is not so scared now, which is cool. He would not even move when we first dropped.

Operation Cabana Day 2:

We is not dying so much any more. We lost lots and lotsa warboys. Is mega sad. Runt has killed two of these big Good Guys. You gotta aim under the neck, and the gun jumps in your hands while you shootin'. So you hit them in the chest, and your gun jumps and you hit them in the neck, then it jumps again and you hit them in the face. You gotta be close to hit them in the face. We is always inside now, never staying out in wide open spaces. These Good Guys are too big to be fighting in these little towns built for these little boss-men, they can't move much. We are always bein' super sneaky, super quiet. We are never going anywhere during the day. Days are super bright here, no clouds, and the only smoke is from burnin' houses, not from smoke stacks. You cannot shoot these Good Guys when they are knowin' you are coming. They shoot first, and they hit hard. Hard enough to kill warboys. Always gotta hit them when they are not knowing you are there. If they know you are there, it is best to move back to a spot where you have friends all set up and ready to shoot. But they do not always follow, they are too smart. Gotta go, we gonna shoot some folks.

July 7:

We have won! We have won because of Drummin Man! We lost lotsa warboys but we are not all dead and the Good Guys are all dead 'cuz we shot them in the face!

I all got finished in my writin' book and we went bombin' in a tunnel. Was a super important tunnel, went to all sorts of places that the Good Guys did not want us to go. We blew up all their food, all their bullets, and all their big guns. Drummin Man saw the tunnel was there on his map, and he saw that it went to places far away from the fighting. Places that the Good Guys did not think we could be.

Runt has killed four Good Guys! And Runt has taken a skull 'cuz skulls is cool. Drawn a bunch of little lines on it, one for every Good Guy I have killed. Runt is super happy that he is not red pulp, that he got to kill good guys like every War Boy was made to do. Runt feels like he is not so small, like he can do things that are important.

Runt feels even better about all the other Good Guys he helped kill, the ones Runt did not shoot himself but helped. Runt did lotsa helpin'. The Glass Box has always taught us that warboys are not so cool when they are alone, and I can now see how super true this is. There are times when you gotta watch your friend's six, and it be ok because you is not wanting some Good Guy sneaking up behind you and shooting you in your special spot. Like, this one time, little old Runt was watchin his squad's 3 o'clock and he was all sorts of scared because he was not fighting like a warboy should, little Runt felt like he was doing nothing at all! And Runt can hear all the fighting behind him but he can't do nothing because he been told to watch the 3 o'clock. But then I see something, see big shapes moving in the dark. It be Good Guys! Lots of them. And I shout and begin shooting, and Gratch yells at us to get away fast, so we all move to our 9 o'clock. But we get away the way the glass box tells us to, we do not just run here and there and everywhere. We get away in the ways warboys is told they should, by making sure each warboy is safe and makin sure the Good Guys cannot get any warboy alone. And Runt holds his spot and shoots while Fury aims his Boom Tube and starts shooting bombs at these guys to our 3 o'clock so they do not want to get any closer. And soon Gratch yells "Check!" and we know that everybody is all clear so I begin shootin' more while Fury puts away his boom tube and goes back, and he yells check so we know he is all set up and he gots the platoon's 3 o'clock and so I can stop shooting and I move back behind Fury and turn to our 3 o'clock and I start shootin'. And we just keep doing that until we find a spot where we set up where they would be stupid to come find us 'cuz we would shoot them dead.

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And Runt has found out something else that is super true : and that is that fighting uses lotsa bullets! And Runt shoots so many bullets because he knows that nobody will walk into a place where they know somebody be shooting. Like, you see a spot where all the bullets be pingin' and hittin' the dirt, you is never gonna say "Boy, I wish I could be in that spot!" So I am always looking for the spots that the Good Guys wanna go, and I make sure to aim my gun there so that the Good Guys cannot move so much, so that other warboys can move up close and kill them with bombs they throw.

But Runt is tired cuz he got shot and I got a red dot on me where I got shot and it be hurting. And we is getting our worms! We are getting megacorps's canned worms, and it is gonna taste so yummy because Runt has not eaten in four whole days and Megacorps worms are the best worms. So Runt is gonna put away his book for now and we is gonna eat and Runt is gonna go sleep 'cuz he feels like he could sleep for ten whole days!

BONUS CONTENT:

Log of Fiachra Fachtna #2:

I just received a call from Jason Blackburn, a young man interested in signing up for life as a mercenary with our warboys. He began asking some very pointed questions about our warboys, and I was happy to explain how the system worked. Warboys are technically owned by megacorp, and then sold to mercenary companies to secure pieces of territory and keep the peace in more troubled areas of the Empire. Many territories don't even need warboys, as militias are happy to keep the peace on their own without extra help.

Warboys can, with their limited understanding and brain capacity, create problems with residents where none existed before. Warboys are a last resort, a measure taken only in the most unstable areas where blood-fueds between families or factions have created an area where normal life would otherwise be impossible. Warboys are only called in as a heavily armed third-party to arbitrarily lay down the law.

I will not mince words, Goblins are the most frequent offenders, as fundamentalists often try to convert people via force. Goblins are too happy to fight anything and anybody who doesn't agree with them, including other Goblins. And once one faction resorts to extremism, other factions are too happy to respond in kind. And once that has happened, all bets are off. Zombies, humans, elves, they all set up their own rival factions. Factions grow in power, and soon enough leaders begin to stop caring about their followers, only caring about how much personal power they can amass.

Warboys are wonderful at their jobs because their limited understanding leaves no room for favorable interpretation. If you take a hostile stance, warboys don't care who you work for, what you stand for, why you started fighting. They don't care. You hurt somebody, they shoot you. End of story. It's their stupidity that makes them terrifying.

And then this Jason character asked about the decommission process. “What happens when a Warboy goes rogue?” This is something that I had to get back to him on. I had no idea. I had to call the nearest quality control center to ask exactly how we handled that. They said, in so many words, that the Warboy is killed. They ensured me that the End of Life process for a troll was “Very peaceful”. I pried a bit further, and asked how and why.

The young woman on the other end was....hesitant. She wasn't answering my question in any detail. They just told me that they went to great lengths to ensure the troll died as painlessly as possible. But I kept prying and she eventually told me that they had a very hard time ensuring warboys stayed calm. Basically, all warboys knew about the Quality Control Center, and they were terrified of it. It was hard to keep them calm because they know that they were going to die, and it made it impossible to sedate them because of their physiology.

We had requisitioned Aliens to preform the procedure because they have the tech needed to sedate a troll and sever all brain activity in a heartbeat. But you can't ask an alien to kill anything. They refuse on ethical grounds. They even take their time to knit up that wretched goblin scum that burn buildings in the name of the High Phoenix.