He found himself outside, in a dense forest, dark green leaves and thick, aged trunks creating a near wall of impenetrable nature, except for a single soil path that led away from where he stood. It felt real; he could smell the earthy, leafy scent of trees and woodland, like kind of warm humidity that came with it. Light was just about filtering through from the dense canopy above, providing a soft green haze. The door clicked shut behind him, though this time when he turned to look at it, it was still there. But now, instead of a single piece of old oak with a golden handle, it was made of several wooden planks that fitted into a neat wall of long logs; taking a step back Ted could see that he’d just walked out of a log cabin. A very smart log cabin at that, though lacking in windows, and seemingly too small to hold both the room he’d woken up in and the office that he’d spoken to Kai in. The dense forest hid a lot though, and he couldn’t see the true depth or any extensions in the back.
And, of course, magic.
Magic.
Stupid.
It seemed likely to Ted that this was some sort of coma dream. Anything else was just too ridiculous to entertain. But, like he’d thought before, that didn’t help him work out what to do next. Did you follow the rules, play the story to the end? Or try to break out and cause the dream to break? Would he even notice? In normal dreams you never noticed the lack of cohesion until you woke up.
Or did he just have to wait until he started hearing voices whisper ‘Wake up!’ in his ear?
What if he had to die in order to wake up?
Well, that was a concerning thought.
It was something to think about. With no other options available to him right now though, it looked like he would be heading down the path in front of him. He was still only in his socks; not his first choice for walking on mud and soil, but he wasn’t going to take them off. He took his first step, feeling the soft soil compress beneath his be-socked foot. It all felt so real.
He couldn’t see where the path ended, only that there were a few small curves and twists on its route through the dense forest. He followed it, tempted to step into the forest to see whether there was another way out. But it didn’t seem sensible in socks, and there was a small part of him that wanted to follow the mad story at least a little bit further. For now.
Suddenly, there was a whisper.
‘Theo’, and he felt a jab at the back of his neck, sharp and hard that shoved him forward a step. It stung. He span around, bringing his hands up to defend himself, looking for the source of the attack.
There was no one there.
‘Hello?’ he called out. ‘Who the fuck is there?’
There was no response.
Ted warily scanned the path he’d been walking on; he was still only twenty or thirty metres from the log cabin. Could Kai have come out of it and slapped him? But why would he? He glared back at the door anyway, before slowly turning back the way he had been going.
‘There’s going to be trouble if you try that again.’ he said, seemingly to the empty air. But there had been someone there. He continued walking, now continually looking left and right into the dense forest.
A two minute walk through what seemed to be a peaceful and unchanging forest took him to another building; a large one this time, built of brick. It reminded Ted of a school, though what it was about it, he couldn’t say. It could simply have been the fact he knew he was on his way to ‘Boot Camp’, but it had similar vibes to the school he worked outside, with a small porch entrance way, smart red brick facade, and large windows, the blinds drawn to stop anyone peeping in. His school hadn’t had a thick, unbroken treeline leading right up to its walls, however. There was no sign on the door in front of him - a freshly painted red one, with a silver door knocker and knob - or any instruction as to what to do next. Apprehensively, Ted put his hand on the door knob, gripped, and twisted. The door opened smoothly.
Inside was a bland, standard reception area. There was a desk that could have been from IKEA, with a pot of pens and some papers on it, and a small sign that said ‘Jerry’. Behind the desk sat a large man, who must have been Jerry, looking up and smiling.
‘Ah, you must be Ted!’ Jerry said, in a way that could only be described as ‘bubbly’. ‘Good to see you here. The class is about to start, please go through to the next room. I’ll notify the teacher.’
‘Er. Sure. It’s Theo, by the way.’ said Ted.
‘I’m afraid the system has you down as Ted, Ted!’ Jerry said brightly.
‘Well, it’s wrong.’ Ted said. He hesitated for a second, before asking. ‘Was there someone else in the forest with me? I felt something hit me.’
‘I wouldn’t have thought so, Ted; everyone walks from the Greeter to the Welcome alone.’ the cheerful man said, smiling sincerely at him.
‘Something definitely hit me.’ Ted insisted. ‘And it’s Theo.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll be sure to get it looked into.’ the man said. ‘Please continue through to the meeting, Ted.’
‘Theo.’ Ted said. He didn’t bother to press the point, instead walking past the desk and through a wide archway that led to another room, this one filled with chairs, nearly all of them filled by peoples of varying sizes, genders, and skin colours. At the front of the room stood a woman, dark skinned, and about as solidly built as any person Ted had ever seen. She was about 5 foot tall, but looked as if they’d taken a 6 foot person and compressed her down, making everything wider, removing her neck to the point that her head sat immediately on her shoulders. She was wearing white robes, pristine and lavish, but no jewellery or ostentatiousness. As she saw Ted arrived, she put a hand up to acknowledge him.
‘Brilliant, thank you Ted. If you could just take a seat, you’re the last one from this batch to arrive.’ her voice was deep and husky, an unplaceable accent even with an Earth based analog.
Ted decided not to fight this one. He sat at the nearest available chair, one on the edge next to a pale woman who was concentrating on the front of the room where the stocky woman stood. She didn’t turn as Ted sat down.
‘Well, everyone, welcome, and congratulations on making it here! We’re happy to see you and to have you join us in the fight against evil and the Enemy!’ the stocky woman said.
Shit, Ted thought to himself. This is like some sort of business seminar. They’re going to try and sell me a timeshare. There’s a scam going on, and it’s run by someone who looks like they crush bricks with their fists.
‘You’ve all been chosen because of your devoutness and commitment to the true path that the Authority laid out in your respective worlds. Because of this, you’ve been selected to help our Lord win the fight against the enemy, and bring true peace to the Next World, and the many planets within it. You have been returned to your peak physical conditions, and gifted with many abilities. Know that you will be joined by many other warriors in the Lord’s army, and that with you, righteousness will succeed!’
She ended the line by raising her arms, getting a ragged round of applause from the audience. Ted sat, stupefied. This was a step further than what Kai had said. Ted had never been devout, or on any path of any religion. Seems like they’d made a mistake here. Worth pointing out? Maybe later.
The woman continued.
‘You’ll have been told your roles by your Greeters upon entering the Second World; I am here purely to coordinate your next steps, hand out schedules. And, of course, to introduce you to the CPS, or Central Processing System, that the Authority has blessed us with, which manages logistics and skills in this world.’
‘So, with that, let’s jump in! Can everyone say ‘View Stats’ for me?’
There was a chorus of mumbles from around the room, with some over achievers standing out by their loud declarations of ‘View Stats’ echoing around the room. Ted said nothing at first, but judging by the reactions around the room, something very odd had happened to those who had spoken. Dozens of the audience were putting their hands out in front of them as if trying to touch something that wasn’t there. Someone had screamed. Then someone else, and Ted heard the word ‘Heresy!’ thrown out.
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If anything, that last word pushed Ted over the line, and he quietly muttered ‘View Stats’. He was shocked to suddenly see a light green box appearing in his vision, taking up about half of the left side of what he could see. No matter where he looked, it moved with his vision. It was slightly transparent, but fully in focus; in fact he realised that everything on the left half of his field of vision was now blurred apart from the box. The right half was still fully in focus, and he could still see and register the audience and speaker in front of him.
It was, just as promised, like a video game. He’d tried on some VR goggles before, and apart from the terrible graphics and sense of falling forward he’d had while wearing them, it was very similar. The info screens were voice activated, rather than buttons, but other than that, he could be in a very well designed Virtual Reality game.
With full motion and pain receptors? He thought to himself, challenging that idea. And don’t forget the language. There was still something funny going on here.
While the hubbub continued around him, he looked at the info in the box that had appeared. His name - or rather, the name Ted Phillips, so not his name - was at the top, under the word ‘Statistics’.
____________________________________________________________________________
* Statistics -
Name: Ted Phillips Firstday 1530
Race: Human (Earth)
Level: 1
Rank: Recruit
Class: GateKeeper, Level 1
Health: 100/100
Magic: 100/100
Strength: 5
Intelligence: 5
Agility: 5
Spirit: 5
Skills and Techniques: None
____________________________________________________________________________
That was it. From many hours playing video games, Ted knew that the stats seemed fine, but also really only meant anything in context; if everyone else had Strength at level 10, then he was weak; if they all had Strength at level 1 then he was on track to be the muscliest man around. He was used to there being more attributes however; Charisma, Wisdom, maybe Luck as well? Or Perception? None of that seemed to be there.
Oh, and of course, there was magic back on the table. Couldn’t escape that one.
The noise around him had lowered, though there were still some distressed noises. The woman at the front was smiling, radiating calmness and understanding, as she held her hand up for quiet.
‘I understand that this can be a little disconcerting.’ she started, before being cut off.
‘Heretics use these cybernetic implants! The Lord forbids them!’ a call came out from someone further down Ted’s row. He leaned over to see who it was, but couldn’t make it out.
‘On your original worlds there may have been technology that allowed you access to virtual systems; however I can assure you that this is not the case here. The CPS has been provided by the Authority for your benefit; it is not one of the lesser copies that were considered heretical on your world.’ the woman reassured the crowd. That seemed to calm the one questioning, but another question came from the group.
‘When do we meet God?’
The word used for God was slightly different to that of the Authority and Lord, and Ted suspected it was the personal name that this person’s world had, similar to Allah, God, and Yahweh all effectively being the same thing. It was difficult trying to understand the roots of a language which he’d never properly learnt though.
The stocky woman smiled again.
‘The Authority is very busy overseeing the war on many different worlds. You will see him before you join the Armies, I promise.’ she said. This caused some murmuring around the room.
‘I fought to the death in the Bagran Amphitheatre, I should be being carried by the Mathorah down to his divine Caverns!’ the same voice called out. The stocky woman’s smile remained, but a hint of frustration showed through.
‘By being here, rest assured you died a good death and pleased the Authority. The intricacies of the Lord’s story on each planet varies, and you will find that not everything you see meets the stories you learnt. You will need to rely on faith just a little longer; once you meet the Authority, all will become clear.’
Divine Caverns? Ted thought to himself. Sounds pretty archaic. Though why it made more sense than heaven being in the sky, he couldn’t say. Whoever had been shouting about cybernetic implants was someone worth following up with; they must be more technologically advanced than they had been on Earth.
The stocky woman was continuing with her pained smile.
‘So, you have now all accessed your Stats Menu. This is the front page for all information that you will need while fighting in the armies of the Authority and living amongst the People. The CPS has a help function built in that will provide you with in depth detail about all of the items on there, so I will only give you the basics for now, and you can use your spare time to review further.
‘First of all, your name and level. Levels are gained through experience, which in itself is gained through completion of missions, training, or combat. Skills are gained and improved in a similar way. You’ll note that you have basic attributes and no skills at the moment; this will be amended when you enter training. The Authority has judged your skills and capabilities from your first lives, and therefore distributed abilities and attributes accordingly; you will find that you can grow and develop these, in order to support our side in the War.
‘You will also have access to a Missions tab, a Journal, and most of the individual areas can be opened up in further depth. In order to remove the screen from your view say ‘Close Stats’. These can all be done via concentrated thought as well, but takes a little more getting used to.’
As a round of muttering of ‘Close Stats’ filled the room, Ted himself doing so, she clapped her hands together, and despite her odd stature and looks, she was suddenly the epitome of an over-enthusiastic seminar presenter.
‘Right! We’re doing so well everyone. So let’s talk about the next two weeks.’
She went on to describe the next two weeks, which would effectively be a mix of orientation classes for the world and society, and skill training, for combat and other usage. They’d be given barracks, divided by gender, or the equivalent for species that didn’t have them. Not everyone would be a warrior; there was a space for everyone in the Authority’s army, and that included metal workers, farmers, and even management.
‘As much as any soldier, the workers are the champions of the Authority’s army, and everyone is equal.’ she said brightly.
It all sounded very nice and shiny and almost guaranteed bullshit. He wondered if anyone else was going to call it out, but whether everyone else was swallowing it, or whether the pressure of the crowds kept them silent, no one did.
He wondered what he’d have thought if he’d actually been religious and had died, and come to this; not winged angels and fluffy clouds, but weird magic and scam presentations that seemed like they would push him to start selling shampoo to his friends. He suspected they’d be disappointed. Hell, he was disappointed, and he wasn’t religious and was also pretty sure he was dreaming. Surely his subconscious could do better than this?
Shortly after the speech, they were sent out via a hallway on the other side of the room. Most trundled off, but Ted held back, along with one or two others. He let the others go first, their queries seemingly being easy ones, or perhaps just dropping off a comment, as they moved on quickly.
When it was his turn, he wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted to say. ‘This all seems like madness.’ seemed apt, if not helpful. ‘What the hell is going on?’ was also a pretty good one, though he felt that she would consider the last half an hour a good explanation of what was happening. ‘Am I in a coma?’ also a good one.
He went with the worst one, that came to his lips even before his brain had time to process it.
‘I don’t think I’m supposed to be here. I don’t even believe in God. There may have been a mistake.’
She looked at him with narrowed eyes.
‘Oh dear. Not another one.’
‘Another one?’ Ted asked, confused.
‘Don’t worry, it’s okay. The Selection Committee has been going a bit off-book recently, and we’re getting more… varied recruits. You’re supposed to be here, don’t panic.’ the woman said, a very visual shrug coming from her neck-less shoulders.
‘Okay… well I guess that’s good. So I’m not one of God’s chosen devout?’ Ted asked, almost laughing as he asked it.
‘Well, in a sense, yes, you are, because you’re here, and therefore one of the Authority’s chosen. But in another way, no. The criteria for selection has been changing recently, and that’s led to a few non-standard recruits. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to fight the good fight for our Lord any worse!’ she finished brightly.
‘Kai said that I was viewed positively by the majority of the world.’ Ted said, it sounding lame even as he said it.
‘Well that certainly sounds like something the Committee would have come up with.’ the woman said. ‘Is that everything?’
‘Yes. No. My name is Theo. I had to change it to Ted for a couple of years while I was in hiding from some dangerous people. I want to go back to Theo. What do I do?’
The woman raised an eyebrow. ‘Dangerous people eh? You certainly aren’t one of our regular recruits. The name has been entered into the system. You’re now registered as Ted from here on out.’
‘Can’t you change it?’
‘No.’
‘Can I change it?’
‘No.’
‘But that’s ridiculous!’ Ted challenged. ‘Who is making these rules?’
‘God is making these rules, Ted. Is that everything?’
Defeated, Ted said that it was, and shuffled off towards the hallway that the others had gone through. He turned before he left the view of the woman, and caught her staring at him appraisingly. But she said nothing, so he gave a wave, as if they were the best of friends, and continued walking through the door.