Well, Well, Well, If It Isn’t the Consequences of My Own Actions
Everyone had left, to drink their problems away. It was still a week-long party and youth was fleeting. Levi sat on the hanging chair, on the second-floor balcony, stress smoking, running through a pack a day.
He worried that his smoking would make him sick, so he smoked more often to worry less.
He worried that the smell of cigarettes would make Ace find him less attractive, so he smoked more often to worry less.
He worried that no one would read his emails or Ace would discover he had broken his promise and leave him, so he smoked more.
So the cycle continued.
It had been three minutes of silence, pure, blissful, silence since everyone had left, and the wicker basket hanging chair swinging him back and forth made him drowsy and tired, his body started to slouch.
He jerked awake, another incoming call, a number he didn’t recognize, but answered anyway.
“Hello, is this Leviathan Asher Slater,” asked a friendly woman on the phone.
“Yeah.”
“This is the Ethics Committee of the Defense Program. We’ve become aware of your liability to our company and as per your contract, you are no longer First Cadet.”
“That’s funny, let me speak to my—”
“We were informed by various sources, including Mr. Slater, of your lack of moral integrity, and we can’t have that reflecting onto us. Cadets cannot be romantically involved with those they’re responsible for.”
“I’m not involved with anyone.”
“We have received various complaints from an anonymous—”
“Was it Amy!?”
The woman dropped her professional demeanor, grumbled, and shuffled some papers.
“No, Levi, it was Mrs. Slater.”
“ My mom?”
“Your wife.”
“Oh. Yeah, yes.”
“Have a nice day, sir.”
Levi sighed, finished his cigarette, then reached into his pocket for another one, but he was all out. He grumbled and grouched, but perked up when Ace opened the sliding door, brought popsicles, and inserted himself onto the hanging chair, but it was ridiculous, because there was not enough room, and it was a tight fit.
Pretending he didn’t want him there when he really did, acting aloof, Levi got out his phone, and with a few swipes, he ordered a carton of cigarettes to be delivered by drone.
He clicked, send order, the phone vibrated, and a word he had never seen before popped up.
“Ace, what does declined mean, ” Levi asked.
Levi’s bank account was empty.
He had been cut off, the well was dry, and he couldn’t understand what he was seeing. He had never seen a singular zero, only a non zero followed by multiple zeroes, and that was on the rare occasion he checked his bank account.
The transfer was to an account he did not recognize, all the shared accounts between him and his wife were empty, he was broke.
Sitting in the hanging chair on the balcony, close to Ace, his face went warm when Ace explained to him what decline meant, and made a soft oh no when he saw Levi’s screen.
“Don’t panic,” Levi shouted.
“I’m not, you’re the one that’s shouting,” Ace replied.
“I’m just homeless, and broke, and I might not have a job.”
“Same here.”
They were conflating their problems, being each other’s yes-men.
Levi wasn’t homeless, he still owned several properties left to him by his grandfather and deceased uncles, he just wanted a specific kind of living space. Ace had a home back on Earth, but until he left Paradis, he was temporary without a place to stay.
The world is out to get us!
No one understands true love!
There is no correlation between the past few months of our affair and the events happening now!
Ace told Levi all the things he wanted to hear, scratched the place he liked best, at the top of his abdomen, gave him butterfly kisses, and another disaster was averted, no more slime walls or toaster-women would appear that afternoon.
“Don’t you have savings,” Ace asked.
“What?”
“ Savings?”
Ace was troubled by the many things Levi told him.
What are savings, and a budget?
He understood what an allowance was, it was what he got every week into his account and promptly ignored the balance because he paid someone else to check that sort of thing.
At least he thought he did.
“You have a lawyer on retainer, but no savings,” Ace asked incredulously.
“Well, who doesn’t have a lawyer on retainer?”
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“Nevermind,” Ace mumbled. “I think you should ask someone for help. You have a big family. Someone should help you.”
No one wanted to.
The first contender on the List to Grift was Mike, who wanted to steer clear of Levi and Ace ever since Invictus threatened his life and Levi almost killed Sierra in his apartment. Levi asked for help, and Mike laughed and hung up the phone.
The second contender was his sister, Sara.
She picked up immediately when he called, as she always did, and was in a mood, as all his various calls lately weren’t good, from the announcement that Santos was alive, the planet was being invaded, hey can I borrow fifty grand, I’m good for the money.
“Levi, I don’t want to give you anything, because I know what happened between you and her, and I’m not taking any sides,” Sara said.
“Not doing anything is taking a side,” Levi replied.
“I told you not to marry her if you didn’t want to, and now you’ve caused a scene. We’re already losing money, and if The Church finds out, we could lose all of their donations and sponsorships.”
“ You sound like Dad and Mom.”
“Yeah, because I work . I’ll try to get an audience with the mayor of Atlaan to help you, but I’m not enabling you.”
The call ended, and Levi was afraid to ask anyone else, because if Sara knew, then that meant everyone must know. The idea of actually working was scarier than being rejected, so Levi tried again.
The third contender was his own mother.
Ace heard all the insults Levi’s mother made about him and found it funny that she assumed that he was a woman, and continued to use the word hussy until it seemed like it had no meaning.
Levi didn’t interrupt her tirade, he knew her path of destruction would disperse further if he said anything until she was done reprimanding him.
“What do you have to say for yourself,” Delilah asked.
“...I feel like this is a trick question,” Levi replied.
“When that hussy leaves you once she learns you’re broke, you’ll know what to say.”
She hung up, and Ace’s eyes were wider than a frisbee at the statement, and Levi glanced away because she said aloud what he had worried about the moment he saw the singular zero.
“I’m not with you for the money, although it was a nice touch, ” Ace admitted.
“You can go and I won’t blame you.”
“I can’t. You helped me when I had no job, helped me get out of my house and not melt into my couch. I’m not leaving you.”
Levi thought there was a catch, a deal, and waited for Ace to add stipulations or requirements, but there was none. He held Levi’s hand and told him they would be okay for a while, he had some savings, and Levi wondered when Ace became an adult.
“I feel like the roles are being reversed,” Levi mumbled.
“What roles?”
“You know,” Levi said, nodding, raising his eyebrows, trying to insinuate something, but Ace was not the sort of person to read between the lines.
“I don’t know, tell me,” Ace groaned.
“Like, now I’m the lady, and you’re the man. ”
Ace made a pfft noise, and then made an ugly grin once he saw Levi was serious, teasing him, asking where his dress was.
“I don’t want to be the woman,” Levi mumbled.
“Levi, neither of us is the woman or the man. We’re both men. You’re gay. ”
“Don’t say that.”
“What?”
“ That word. ”
Ace repeated the word, the three-letter word over and over, louder, until Levi used his gorilla grip hands to squeeze his mouth shut, but instead, soft giggles and tears came out, the same word was repeated but muffled.
“You’re still an immature idiot,” Levi hissed.
He let go, and Ace made another ugly grin, telling him, its okay if you’re a woman, I like them anyway. Apparently, this comment was too much for Levi’s fragile ego and Ace had to reassure him that he was fine, absolutely fine.
“This is why I don’t want to do anything, because of this, ” Levi said.
This subtext Ace understood because he had the same fears, but the longer he was with Levi, the less he cared. He knew Levi was avoiding sex because of some reason, but he didn’t think this was why.
“Do you think that if we...do it...you’ll be a lady,” Ace asked.
“I mean. No. Maybe?”
“It sounds like you do.”
“I feel stupid now that you’re saying it out loud,” Levi mumbled.
“Even if it did, what’s wrong with that?”
Levi, just like Ace, realized how ridiculous his fears were once he said it out loud to someone else, avoiding intimacy over something he couldn’t understand or vocalize, shaming himself over a problem that never existed.
Ace leaned in, gave him a dirty look, and asked him if he was ever in a car accident. Levi panicked, he knew it was all coming together, a grand conspiracy, his father made Ace a plant this entire time!
He meekly nodded yes, prepared himself for betrayal, and then groaned at the answer.
“That’s good then because you’re prepared to be rear-ended.”
“Get off my yacht.”
“We can exchange more than just insurance information.”
“ Die. ”
Levi pretended to be disinterested in all the sudden attention he was getting, up until his face gave it away, and Ace was much more determined in his pursuit, kissing his neck, repeating pick-up lines he read on numerous popsicle sticks.
He was no longer bashful, but more entertained by the jokes, Ace’s foolproof technique at getting Levi to loosen up.
More jokes were made, and then less, because it was hard to make jokes when your mouth was glued to someone else’s, even harder when focusing on how much of each other’s bodies they could feel, pressed together.
They exchanged more than information with very few words, kissing in the hanging chair.