FVR

Chapter Twenty-Three.

----------------------------------------

There is a comfort in knowing that pain will not persist. The stubbing of a toe, the biting of a tongue, even the breaking of a leg; one part of the brain will always say: it's fine, it won't last long.

When Joel was twelve, he broke his wrist. Days and weeks passed, and the pain faded. It taught him a valuable lesson: even the worst pain fades. That thought carried him through his bumps and bruises through his teenage years.

When Joel was sixteen, he and Suze broke up. The emotional pain of losing a friend came in waves, and he spent many days in the months that followed feeling sad enough to cry for hours. But again, over time, the emotional pain of the breakup faded.

The conclusion Joel came to - as all living things would - is that all suffering fades: tomorrow may bring a day where the pain is no more. This belief supported him through the first few months of his chronic pain. However, against such a lasting suffering, his own belief began to fade.

Belief, as one would have it, is a resilient thing. Not five days into his experience within the game did Joel's belief return, and that old thought trickled back into his mind. So, as he stood in that passageway with his cuts and bruises and his broken leg, a wave of nostalgia washed over him when he thought - for the first time in a year - it's fine. It won't last long.

***

Aurora stood at the mouth of the mine, the storm howling behind her, a curtain of blood marking the end of the Uranatalo's mother. Against a force of nature as unconquerable as the cave that Joel stood in, Aurora's dominance had been swift and absolute.

"I've come to collect my recruit," Aurora said with a blunt authority. There was no room for question within her words, no room to ask why, or how she knew where he was, just a closed statement followed by the submissive silence of everyone in the room. As she took a few steps into the cave, she looked over to Beatrice, then paused. "You're hurt?"

"I..." Beatrice choked, her husk of a voice forming no depth.

"Commander Beatrice is suffering from severe mana burns," Cedric said on her behalf. He stood close to Beatrice's side, as if a third leg.

"She nearly gave her life to save us," Damon said softly, a sheepish expression in his eyes as he looked to Beatrice fondly.

Aurora took a hesitant step towards Beatrice, then stopped and looked away. She paused for a moment, as if contemplating the right words. "Will you be okay?" She asked with an unfamiliar affection in her voice.

Beatrice smiled softly and nodded.

"How'd you find us?" Joel asked. He had wanted to say so many other things, I'm sorry for leaving, thank you for saving us, just how freakishly strong are you... but none of them came out.

Aurora looked to his injuries, ignoring his question, "I was under the impression you were a coward."

Joel nearly laughed out loud. Behind the obvious insult hid a compliment, one that acknowledged his hard fight. I didn't run, and I didn't hesitate to kill. Huh... He breathed out softly then smiled as he replied, "I was under the impression you were right."

Aurora stepped to him then kneeled and wrapped her hands around his leg gently. "It's broken..." she stated. She glanced over to Beatrice, then back to Joel, then stood up slowly. "I had come to collect you, but you would serve no speed as you are."

Beatrice whispered to Cedric, who spoke her words. "Commander Beatrice is sorry for taking him without..."

"You were not to know," Aurora interjected calmly, her golden eyes seemed soft.

They shared a silent look, then Cedric spoke on Beatrice's behalf again, shifting the tone. "The creature?"

Aurora took a final look to Joel, then turned her back, returning to her stoic expression which hid behind her helm. "We received word from a rider not long ago that more are coming. I am to meet the army at Symhurl, where... second patriarch shall return with a single battalion. Together, we shall defend the crossing."

"Brother is returning?" Cedric asked aloud on Beatrice's behalf. Aurora nodded slightly. "You have permission?"

"It is the edge of my allowance. I shall cause no uproar as I am."

"And your recruit?"

They both looked back to Joel. "Take him until I return," Aurora said sternly.

As Aurora turned to leave, Cedric spoke up, speaking his own words and not those of Beatrice. "Thank you," he said with slight hesitation, "regardless of what you are - you saved us - thank you."

Aurora leaped without hesitation from the entrance into the storm and out of sight.

Regardless of what she is? Joel echoed. What is she? He looked to the expressions of the group, but they all seemed pensive and withdrawn. The time for such a question would come, but it would not be now.

***

Their return to the stables was wrought with pain; the wind and rain battered Joel's wounds like tiny shards of glass. With each jolt of his broken leg against Jordan's back, Joel couldn't tell if the wetness on his face was from the storm or his own tears.

Gareth, on the other hand, had slept soundly, thanks to the treatment Beatrice had given him - much to the chagrin of Damon who worried over her own injuries. Damon, somehow, seemed perfectly fine despite the multiple lacerations over his body. While the wounds were not deep, Joel felt that Damon's reaction to the injuries seemed void of pain.

The storm had gone quiet behind the mana shield of the driver once they entered the carriage, giving an awkward and tired silence to the group. Gareth, Damon, and Theo slept soundly, while Cedric and Beatrice shared whispered words. Cedric's large frame blocked Beatrice from view as she leaned against the far corner of the carriage - the closest to the driver. Zach, Ali, Tobias, Jordan, Callum all sat without a word while the miner fidgeted in the corner, waiting for someone break the tension. Joel didn't mind the silence, however, he saw it as a reward that gave him time to reflect on the fight, and the patience to breathe through the pain.

It's going to keep on like this until I'm dead, isn't it? Going from one chaotic fight to another, relying on those around to keep me safe... How much longer can I rely on Aurora... How long until I find myself alone against an enemy I can't hope to beat?

As Joel lay on the carriage floor, his leg outstretched, a moment of relief found him. The numbness in his leg brought a stillness to him that felt like a high. Despite the pain and the fear, he felt glad to be alive. But more than that, he felt as though he had managed to do something he'd never be able to do in the real world, and that gave him a sense of accomplishment he'd not felt in years.

The carriage bumped suddenly, jarring Joel's broken leg. "FUCK!" He cried. "Arghh!"

A muffled, "sorry," rang back from the driver.

"It won't be long until we arrive at the capital. Continue to brace yourself." Cedric said. "You, Gareth, and my brother will be seen to by the healers there. Commander Beatrice will see to that." Cedric looked back to Beatrice, who nodded softly then shut her wearied eyes. It didn't take long before she drifted off into a deep sleep.

Joel smiled in response, then shut his eyes tight from the pain. The capital? He echoed, Oh... The ore... In his pain and tiredness, Joel hadn't remembered that they were dragging along two carts of ore.

He looked to the wave timer in an attempt to gauge how much sleep he could get, but his heart stopped for a moment when he noticed the wave timer had frozen on 00.00.00.

The wave hasn't ended? He thought to the times the timer had frozen in the past, and remembered only once when had it happened after a wave. He closed his eyes and thought to the appearance of the Uranatalo and then to Aurora's words. I wonder if that's where Aurora's gone... Symhurl? To finish the wave? His thoughts drifted for a moment until he felt thankful for the break. The longer it stays on zero, the longer it'll be until the next wave. Perhaps breaking my leg was actually a good thing. The thought made him laugh slightly; the idea that pain could be good was still something he wrestled with, yet here he was, praising his broken leg.

Time passed by as the carriage continued to ride through the storm. The occasional bump sent a shooting pain through Joel's leg, before easing off slightly. With every ounce of pain came the same thought that trickled through his mind, it won't last long. Knowing that healing could be instant due to levelling or healing had become a crutch to Joel - one he had quickly become used to.

He continued to think about the wave before his thoughts drifted to those around him. He looked to the people in the carriage; other than Beatrice, all of them were unblessed and were likely convicts, four of whom had been sentenced with him. The miner had stopped fidgeting and had fallen asleep due to exhaustion - a state Joel wished he could copy.

Cedric said we needed to have each other's backs, but how can I trust a convict? He thought to the fight - to Beatrice and her determination to keep them alive, to Gareth and his immediate resolve to stay behind, then to Theo and Damon who did everything they could to save their commander. Can they really be good people? If so...

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

"Why?" Joel asked out loud, "why are you here?" He didn't say it to anyone in particular, but everyone still awake looked to him.

"Here?" Cedric asked.

"Here. The carriage. Kyrstil. Fighting monsters that could kill you. Why?" He looked to Ali, who hid his eyes behind his hair. Then looked to Callum, Tobias, and finally Jordan. All of them looked away.

"That is a peculiar question from one such as yourself," Cedric said.

He's right. I don't even have an answer beyond the whim of the game - which they wouldn't understand. For all they know, I don't have a reason beyond the king's verdict. I just... "I just don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I should be, or whether I can survive... I want..." He looked to the ceiling of the carriage. The wood was scratched and stained, but not a single crack blemished its sturdy frame. He thought to the storm that raged on outside silently, and to Aurora who was travelling through it on her own.

"You want to trust us?" Cedric questioned. "You want to know if this is a good place for you? If you don't have to worry about food or shelter, or those who would do you harm?" His tone was less of a question and more of a statement. Joel looked to Cedric and smiled slightly as he pondered the truth of Cedric's words. "Kyrstil offered me that which I could not find elsewhere," Cedric continued as he looked to his brother, "a place to belong."

"You volunteered?" Ali asked, reading between the lines.

"When Damon turned of age. Yes." Cedric replied. He sighed and continued to look to his brother. Before Joel could ask why, Cedric looked back to him and continued. "Life in Durnovia is expensive, and the city has become too crowded to live comfortably," he looked at the new recruits, "I am sure that you all understand. For the Unblessed, it is not a place worth living." He paused again as he considered his next words. "We could have travelled south, but the ongoing conflicts would have made it impossible. After everything, the military made the most sense. It offers food and shelter, and shapes us into someone capable of travel. When this war is over and the boarders open, we plan on travelling north, to River's End."

"Hmmm. You wish to see the stars fall, eh?" Tobias asked. Cedric nodded. "You've just missed it. The next festival is in thirty-two years." Tobias added.

Cedric chuckled. "Then, we have plenty of time to make the journey," he smiled.

This all rang a bell for Joel, who lay silent on the ground bracing his leg. River's End, festival, thirty or so years... This is what Lor, Thad, and Taffy talked about.

"I attempted the journey," Ali said, interrupting Joel's thoughts. Ali's head leaned back with his hair covering his eyes, "for the twenty-second festival after the dawn. Hired by a Lord of small stature to transport his wares. It was a mistake. I never made it through the Funnel region."

"That bad?" Jordan asked, suddenly peaked with interest.

"The northern realm is treacherous," Cedric clarified. "Even with the southern war and Hel's Breach, twenty-percent of the military remains in Gurstead - the northern most fortress of House Tempest. Yet, it is not enough."

"What makes it so dangerous?" Joel asked.

Cedric looked to Beatrice, who slept soundly, then back to Joel. "The Touched Lands."

"I don't understand."

"The eastern mountains act as a natural barrier between Durnovia and The Touched Lands - other than the passage which we know as Hel's Breach, which Kyrstil defends. The Touched Lands spread far to the north, however, passed where the mountain range ends. As such, many of the creatures venture out and roam the northern lands freely."

"It has caused great destruction to the people," Ali groaned.

Cedric grunted and looked to Damon, who continued to sleep soundly. "My brother and I originally came from Smoothmoor, a village near the old town of Hornsbrown... But, it is no longer there."

"Touched Ones?" Joel asked.

Cedric tilted his head down. A dampness covered his eyes. "They destroyed it many years ago. Damon was five. I was fourteen. We survived thanks to Gurstead, and made our way to the capital. Four years ago, we came to Kyrstil, when Damon turned fifteen, and have survived here since."

"I'm sorry," Joel said with an unknowing sympathy. He understood Cedric's words, but he couldn't understand the suffering.

"It is the way of all who live in such times." Ali said, his accent breaking through. He brushed the hair from his eyes and looked to Cedric. "But you have carved a path for yourself at the commander's side." He gestured to Beatrice. "Second in command as an Unblessed."

Joel couldn't make out their expressions from the ground, but the glance they shared seemed almost hostile.

"He's a Grade Four," Zach said, leaning in with his large body, "the only Grade Four Unblessed. He worked for that position."

"Of that, I have no doubt." Ali said slowly, then leaned back and covered his eyes with his hair.

"Grade Four?" Joel asked, hoping to cut the tension.

Cedric sighed, then breathed a little easier. "Unlike tiers, which are based on heritage, Grades are determined by merit. To have a command, one must be Grade Five. To be second in command, as I am, one must be Grade Four."

"And that took you four years?" Joel asked. Ali un-curtained his hair slightly.

"No." Cedric replied hesitantly, "I was promoted the moment Commander Beatrice took command of the Unblessed... She..." He hesitated again. "She could not convince the former Second to remain. As the most distinguished Grade Two Unblessed, I received a double promotion."

"And you became her personal executioner," Ali said with a palpable bitterness.

Zach stood up suddenly, rocking the carriage. He had to hunch as to not poke his head through the roof, then leaned into Ali who remained perfectly calm.

"Zach," Cedric said firmly, "not here."

Zach spat on the ground and reluctantly sat back down. Ali didn't flinch.

"Grades are not determined by merit," Ali continued. "They're determined by obedience. To become a Second, you must be prepared to execute any deserters." He looked directly at Cedric. "Am I correct?"

"Yes," Cedric sighed. "However, Commander Beatrice is the reason many are alive today. So, I believe my sins to be worth the cost." He looked to Zach, whose broad shoulders slouched against the back of the carriage.

"Life was fucking cursed before Commander Beatrice," Zach said with an ounce of frustration. "The former Commander was a whoreson who didn't care for the life of the Unblessed." He glanced to Beatrice, hidden behind Cedric's frame, "as the second daughter of Lord Tempest, Commander Beatrice requested leadership and was given the honor." He crossed his arms and looked to the roof. "Apparently, she's the only kind noble in Durnovia. Or, perhaps, that is the way of all Waters."

Cedric smiled and nodded. "She increased the training period," he added, "and created a new unit for those deemed uncapable of war."

"General assistance?" Joel asked, piecing bits together.

Cedric nodded. "Commanded by the former leader of The Unblessed. Rupert Flame. Eleventh in line to the throne."

Rupert? Joel pictured Rupert in his well-tailored clothing and decorative cane, and all at once understood why the man was so dislikable.

"Rupert," Zach scoffed, "never prepared a single man for combat. Bastard never even stepped into The Breach."

"He was truly ill suited to the role of a combat commander," Cedric said mildly.

"Yet he makes one hell of a cunt," Zach spat.

"Argh!" Another bump in the road made Joel bounce, shooting pain down his leg, "but," he breathed, "I didn't notice many people in his unit? Where are all the noncombatants?" Joel asked, remembering only the handful of people.

"Ah." Cedric replied. "General assistance help with all manner of tasks and are housed in various areas of Kyrstil, Gurstead, and Erdmont. There must be hundreds of noncombatants."

"All men who would have died had it not been for the Commander," Zach said, eyeing Ali.

"Many lives owe her deeds a great debt," Ali said smarmily.

"Precisely." Cedric said, ignoring Ali's tone. "Commander Beatrice also has hope for Unblessed women to one day join the military as noncombatants." Cedric finished.

The carriage fell oddly silent at that. Joel had wondered why he hadn't seen any Unblessed women, but hadn't wondered what happened to them. He opened his mouth, but the air had turned sour. Perhaps I shouldn't ask...

"She's a good person," Joel said.

"The best I know," Cedric replied with an affectionate glance to Beatrice.

The journey continued to bump and weave, until the road became completely smooth. Joel looked up to Beatrice, who pushed her head against Cedric's arm as she slept. He could see the burns on her arms clearly, and wondered what her neck looked like under her bandage. She's been through a lot to help others. Lor would have liked her.

Cedric caught Joel's curious gaze, "you have questions?"

Joel looked back to Cedric. "The mana burns - what are they?"

Cedric's eyebrows furled slightly. "Ali had mentioned you missed your first day... How much do you know of the composition of mana?"

"The composition? Nothing..."

"And of mana? What do you know?"

Joel shifted his body as the carriage bumped along a rougher path. He thought to the words Dalton had said, and what he had learned since coming here. "Mana exists within all living things, but inanimate things can be moved by mana. I can feel mana within my body, thanks to mana sense, and I know it exists elsewhere; but beyond the beads which I can control, mana, to me, is like the air: I can sense it, and see its effects, but I cannot yet see, or grab it." He paused, then recalled the fight with the Uranatalo. "Also, as unblessed, I cannot control the elements."

"I see." Cedric looked to the other new recruits who each gave a knowing glance. "You know the very basics, I suppose. Everything you have said is correct, however, mana is like every element, all at once. It is air because it is invisible; it is water because it has shape; it is earth because it has weight; and it is fire because it can burn." He gestured to Beatrice. "The best way I can explain this... if you fill a jug with water, it overflows. But, what if the water had no other place to go?" He asked rhetorically.

"Enough pressure would break the jug," Joel answered. Simple physics.

"Correct. Mana can pass through all living things, but the mana already stored must not be allowed to rest. When too much mana is stored in one place of your body, or, when you force too much mana to one spot, it breaks the jug. Commander Beatrice has done this twice. The first time was with an injury to her neck, where she forced the mana to her wound to heal it rapidly."

"Wait... I didn't know healing was possible with mana?" Joel probed.

"It's not. Healing can only be done by those with an affinity for water. It is the combination of mana and water that can heal wounds, not the mana alone."

"So, Beatrice... Commander Beatrice, has a water affinity, not air? Despite being the second daughter of House Tempest?"

"Commander Beatrice is of House Waters, but serves House Tempest. She is a child of two houses: Tempest and Waters, and has a natural affinity with water."

Explains why she only used a mana shield in the mine - she had no access to water. Why not carry some? Or bring some from the storm? He held his nitpicky questions. "How else can mana burn happen?"

"The way it did today, with her arms: she forced her mana to her hands to better control her shields, but did so for a prolonged period of time and with a large area of effect. That kind of mana shield is rarely used due to the risks."

Sharing means weakening, and everything weak dies. That's what Aurora said about large mana shields... Beatrice would have known that. "Because it weakens the shield, right?"

"Correct again. The combination of a weaker shield and the risk of mana burn makes extended mana shields a mild taboo." He paused, waiting for a question that didn't come. Joel, instead, thought to Aurora's actions and wondered if he had caused her pain. "Finally, there is a third way mana burns can happen: mana resin. If mana is not moved, replaced, or used often, it interacts with the organic matter in our bodies, creating a substance known as mana resin. It looks yellow,"

"Like puss," Zach joked.

"Yet... it is the dead remnants of mana. If the mana resin is left to stagnate, it blocks circulation and causes a severe mana burn; always resulting in the loss of the body part. This is why it is important for all peoples - even the unblessed - and especially the elderly, to learn mana sense, so that they can move their mana freely and reduce the chance of mana resin stagnating."

"And that's what Commander Beatrice wants to do?" Joel asked.

"For starters. Yes."

The carriage came to a stop. The driver popped her head back, "we're here."

Joel was helped out of the carriage and into the rain. He immediately noticed how much less wind there was, then looked up and saw the familiar sight of the castle steps. I'm back...

A guard relieved the driver and rode the carriage away and the ore with it.

"We're to stay in Highrock Castle until morning," Cedric said over the sound of rain, "you are not to talk unless spoken to, nor are you to leave your room for any reason. Let's go."