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Future's End - Book 1
Chapter 3 - Why are people so cruel?

Chapter 3 - Why are people so cruel?

Chapter 3

“You always do that, promise one thing then weasel out of it.”

Amber said. She stared down her nose at Amee.

“Same with girl scouts, and remember mom’s campaign picture?”

Amee walked beside her sister, her head hanging low.

“What’s gonna happen when you get a job? Oh, sorry Mr. Boss, I forgot I had to work?”

Amber clasped her hand around one of the straps on Amee’s backpack and dragged her along.

“Ow! That hurts.”

“You are such a baby.”

Amber tugged on the strap harder.

“I’m not a coward. I just forget. I had so much to remember this morning.”

Amee struggled to keep up with her sister, who had longer legs and wasn’t walking slowly.

“So, make a list, get up on time, do something instead of just saying I forgot.”

Amber mocked her. Amber stopped in front of the girl’s change room and shoved Amee through the door unceremoniously.

“You are so late. The coach hates it when people are late.”

Amber shoved a bundle of clothes into Amee’s stomach.

“Put those on.”

Amber crossed her arms and stood waiting for Amee to change.

“Some privacy?”

Amee glared up at Amber.

“So you can run out the minute I turn my back? Like hell. Hurry up.”

Amber tapped her foot impatiently. Amee muttered to herself as she pulled off her top and pulled on the tank top that barely covered her stomach. She pulled off her jeans and then pulled on her sister’s old mini-skirt. She looked down at herself and frowned, then looked back up at Amber.

“Please don’t make me do this, I’ll do anything, just don’t make me go out there.”

Amee looked up with pleading eyes.

“Don’t be that way. It’ll be fun. Remember how you pleaded with me to join the team to get mom off your back? Just pretend there’s no one around like we practiced and you’ll be fine, Ame’s. Put on your runners and let’s get out there.”

Amber shoved Amee’s shoes into her arms. Amee give a whimper of defeat, pulled on the runners and tied them up tightly. She stood and started walking to the washroom. Amber moved to follow her inside.

“What, you’re going to watch me go now?”

Amee glared at Amber defiantly.

“Whatever, just hurry up.”

Amber said turning around and leaning on a wall. Amee walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirrors. She looked horrible. She saw bulges on the skin-tight tank top everywhere. And the mini-skirt showed off her jelly-like thighs. My sister is the devil, and I’m in hell. She walked out of the bathroom and into her sister, who shoved her none-too-gently towards the gymnasium doors. She almost stumbled as she entered the gym.

As the doors opened Amee was greeted by almost every boy in the school, as well as a line of her worst enemies. Amee heard a familiar giggle. Her eyes looked over the bench of hopefuls and landed on Jane. She stopped dead in her tracks and tried to back up, but her sister nudged her out into the gymnasium.

Jane Russell was a tall, attractive and self confident girl. Amee looked at her, wondering what it would be like to have a perfect body like that. Amee felt a hint of jealousy as she saw how good Jane looked in the tank top and kilt.

She stood looking at the room, almost paralyzed in fear. She could see people whispering to each other. Probably mocking my rolls of fat. The rest of the hopefuls were all either waif-like, or born athletes.

Amber nudged her towards the bench where other hopefuls sat and then made her way to the judges’ table. It consisted of four current cheerleaders and their coach, Natalia Slavich. Amber walked up to Natalia directly, and they spoke quietly. Natalia looked directly at Amee, and her eyes narrowed. Amee couldn’t blame her for being angry, tubby girl like her, showing up late, and thinking she’s good enough for a team that had won the last six national championships.

Amee inched towards the bench as quietly as possible. Of course, her shoe made a loud echoing squeak on the pristine gymnasium floor, and every pair of eyes in the gym looked right at her. She blushed a deep crimson and sat at the end of the bench. Apparently she would be last in line. Good, at least most people might have left. She watched her sister sit down, and they called the first hopeful’s name, Applebaum. She gasped silently. Alphabetical order. Right in the middle.

Amee buried her face in her hands, and heard a techno beat start to play. She looked up and watched the girl start her routine. She moved with a sense of confidence. I’m so gonna get embarrassed here. The hopeful did a few cart wheels, which elicited a pleased reaction from the crowd. As she landed she did a cheer. Amee tuned it out and closed her eyes. I am so dead. Her self-pity was forgotten when she heard Gabriel’s voice. Her eyes followed that wonderful sound to the source. She looked at his wavy blonde hair and those deep blue eyes.

She looked up at Gabriel as they walked across the football field. He had his cut-off practice jersey on and it showed off his six-pack. He smiled down at her.

“Penny for your thoughts, beautiful?”

“I was just wondering when you’re going to ask me to prom.”

Amee fixed her hair self-consciously.

“I was kind of waiting for the right time. Let’s sit and watch the sunset.”

He tossed a blanket on the ground and stretched out on it. It showed off his six-pack again, God he is so handsome. He smiled up at her and glanced down at the blanket. She stretched out beside him on the blanket and he put his arm under her neck and glanced at the setting sun.

“Sometimes I wish I was watching these alone.”

“Why?”

Amee pouted.

“Because it’s hard to concentrate when you are with me.”

He smiled and pulled a rose out of his bag, and offered it to her.

“I was wondering, would you do me the honor, fair lady of being-“

Amee’s day dream was rudely interrupted by the sound of Jane’s voice.

“Look at her drooling over Gabriel.”

Amee blinked and looked over at Jane. Jane looked Amee up and down and laughed.

“She has a sister on the panel, and she still has to dress like a slut to get a tryout.”

Amee flinched as if Jane had just smacked her.

“Tragic too considering how fat she is.”

Jane trailed off. The pair had a good giggle at Amee’s expense. Amee’s lip quivered but she buried her feelings for now. I’m not giving you the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Amee focused her attention on the tryouts, keeping her eyes away from Gabriel and Jane. She watched as another few hopefuls stood to try out as their names were called. They were all so good at the cheers, gymnastics, acrobatics, dances… She hung her head, they are all so talented, and pretty, I could never compete with them, I’m not even in the same solar system as them. She looked towards the exits. If I run fast I can escape. She glanced at her sister, who spared her a warning glance now and then. Who am I kidding, I’d probably fall on my face. She sighed and hung her head again. Hopeless. My sister is determined to make me look like a freak.

“Psssst”

Amee heard April’s familiar voice behind her. Amee glanced around cautiously, and stood and crept towards April. She was fairly sure she was being quiet enough but then her foot caught on some of the cabling for the speakers. She fell forwards and barely got her hands in front of her before she hit the floor. She blushed a deep red as the music suddenly stopped. Tears welled in her eyes as she felt around on the floor for her glasses. The crowd snickered and laughed at her predicament. April knelt down and helped Amee to her feet, and slipped the glasses into Amee’s hand. She spoke quietly into Amee’s ear.

“Here’s your glasses. Let’s get you out of here.”

Amee wrapped her arm around April’s shoulders, and the pair made their way to the locker room. April helped Amee to a bench.

“That looks nasty, Amee, guess you got out of cheerleading tryouts huh?”

Amee looked down at her knee. She hadn’t noticed how much it hurt until April pointed at it. A small trickle of blood was making its way down her shin.

“Perfect.”

Amee buried her face in her hands and began to sob. The pair heard the change room door open and close. Amee didn’t look up from her hands.

“Always find a way to weasel out of stuff. Don’t you?”

Amber glared at the pair of girls. April turned and moved towards Amber.

“You’re an A-class bi-”

Amber stepped forward.

“Bring it Emofre-.”

“Stop it!”

Amee cut the pair off. Both of them turned towards Amee.

“I tripped that’s all! Just clean it up and I’ll go back out okay? Just don’t fight.”

Amee sobbed quietly. April looked at Amber and stuck her nose up in the air at her, then pulled the first aid kit down off the wall.

“I need to go back and judge, you better be out by the time they call your name. I can’t believe we’re related.”

Amber frowned down at Amee and walked towards the gymnasium at a quick pace. Once Amber was out of earshot, April started to clean up Amee’s knee.

“You shouldn’t let her treat you like that. If you don’t want to do it, you shouldn’t.”

Amee sniffled and winced as April cleaned the gash on her knee.

“She’s just upset because she spent a lot of time trying to help me with a routine.”

“But you don’t want to be a cheerleader. Besides, you could find a way to get hurt in a padded room. After a week of cheerleading you’ll be in a wheel chair.”

April chuckled as she finished cleaning Amee’s knee and stretched a bandage across it.

“Might give me an excuse to skip math.”

Amee laughed softly and wiped her tears off her cheeks.

“That’s my bff. Even if she is dressed like a mall-clone.”

April packed up the first aid kit and put it back into the bracket on the wall.

“If you’re determined to do this, then you can count on me to cheer you on.”

“I wouldn’t do it, but if I get on the team I might be able to drop Jane.”

Amee laughed.

“You spend too much time worrying about her and her clones.”

April shook her head.

“Besides my sister and mother both think I can’t do this, but I can.”

Amee stood up. A look of determination crossed her face.

“Well I’d say break a leg, but you might, so, good luck.”

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April gave Amee a hug.

“Time to face the world.”

Amee broke the hug, marched towards the doors, and promptly slammed her bad knee into a trash can. She winced but did her best to walk without a limp towards the bench. April followed her, shaking her head slightly and sat on the bleachers. Jane giggled with her clique of friends.

“She looked like a beached whale, especially when she was flapping around looking for her glasses.”

Amee stared straight ahead. Unfortunately straight ahead was Natalia, who met Amee’s gaze. Amee found a sudden need to inspect the bandage on her knee. She fiddled with it and then looked down towards her shoes.

“Amee Morris.”

She heard Natalia say over the speaker system. Amee stood up, but as she put down her foot she winced. Her knee still hurt.

“Do you want some more time to recover?”

Natalia asked, her Russian accent sent a chill down Amee’s spine. She always thought that it sounded evil.

“Umm, well, maybe, if…”

Amee stammered a bit, she bit her bottom lip gently.

“Well, I’ll be happy to go now.”

Jane smiled innocently as she stood up. Amee opened her mouth to protest, but she saw Amber pointing at the bench where Amee had been sitting.

“Thank you.”

Amee mumbled as she sat down. Jane curtsied to Natalia, and started her cheer routine. Amee had to admit she looked great. She’d always been jealous of how popular, good-looking, and athletic Jane was. She had a guaranteed spot on the cheerleading squad as if she’d been born into it. Amee sighed as Jane finished. Perfect, of course. I hate you Jane Russell. I hate your perfect hair, your perfect clothes, your perfect body, your perfect boyfriend, your perfect life. Jane had her trade-marked grin of smug superiority on her face, the one she always wore when she made Amee’s life just a little more miserable. Amee’s thoughts drifted back to public school.

It was in the 4th grade. She wasn’t sure exactly how or when the pair had stopped being friends. She couldn’t even name the why. But what she did know was that after the 4th grade Jane had done her best to make her life miserable. There were bullies then there was Jane. She was intelligent and charismatic, and she used every bit of natural talent she had to harass and bully Amee. It had started out so nice. In grade one, Jane came to Amee and said ‘Hi.’ After that the two were fast friends. Sleepovers, birthday parties, they were inseparable. They shared everything. Amee couldn’t remember having a better friend. She recalled vividly playing with their Barbies together. And playing Nintendo with her. All through public school they were like sisters. And no one would get between them, ever. They would be best friends for life. And then suddenly it just changed. No explanation, no reason, just a few hurtful words and a rough push into the water.

Amee remembered the day vividly. It was swim team tryouts, and swimming was the one thing she did better than anyone else she knew. She was like a fish when she was in the water. Her mother and father had both showed up to watch her. She remembered the nervousness as she waited in the change room.

“Jane!”

Amee called out as she saw her best friend pass her in the change room. She smiled, but she slowly frowned as Jane walked by, ignoring her. Amee chased after her, through the showers and out onto the pool deck.

“Jane?”

Amee called again.

“Jane, what’s the matter?”

Jane stopped by the edge of the pool and turned around. She glared at Amee, pure hatred in her eyes.

“Jane?”

Amee whimpered. Jane looked at the girl next to her.

“Look at that ugly bathing suit, bet her mother got it from the Salvation Army. Guess she has to wear something that ugly so no one’d notice how ugly she is.”

The girl laughed. Amee started to cry.

“Why are you being mean, Jane?”

“Look at the fatty cry!”

Jane taunted.

“Don’t say that!”

Amee shouted and stepped towards Jane.

“Fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty!”

Jane taunted.

“Well….you’re….you’re…”

Amee was so flustered she couldn’t think of a comeback.

“Fat and stupid!”

Jane laughed. It was as if she had just slapped Amee. Amee, not knowing what to say, shoved Jane. Jane stumbled backwards and almost fell in the pool. Jane pulled Amee’s hair and Amee lost her balance and fell in the pool, hitting her head on the pool’s side. Her head throbbed but she was so mad she pushed April under the water. Before much more damage could be done the pair were pulled apart by their gym teacher, Mrs. Marston.

“You two stop it, this is no way to behave!”

Mrs. Marston. Looked at them both with a stern gaze. Amee remembered she always had the scariest glare. She always bet she could make flowers wilt by just looking at them the right way.

“She started it.”

Jane pointed at Amee.

“I did not!”

Amee raised her voice.

“She did ma’am.”

The girl who Jane had been talking to.

“I saw that one push Jane.”

She pointed at Amee.

“I didn’t do it, why are you lying?”

Amee started to sniffle as she looked between her accusers and Mrs. Marston.

“I’ve had about enough of your lip and this horrible behavior. Go get changed. You are off the team, and no doubt suspended once I talk to Mr. Kain.”

Mrs. Marston pointed to the change rooms.

“Bu..but I didn’t do anything!”

Amee’s lip quivered as she started to sob.

“You get changed, I’m going to speak to your parents.”

Mrs. Marston escorted Amee to the change room, and Jane got that smug look on her face as she stuck her tongue out at Amee, when Mrs. Marston’s back was turned. After that Amee had the reputation of a troublemaker, and Jane did her best to get Amee in trouble whenever she could. Amee was like a leper after the swim team incident. She was sure it was Jane behind that too.

Violent, Attention seeking that’s what the teachers had said about Amee, that she had an anger management problem. After the first few times Jane managed to get Amee in trouble, the teachers just assumed if something bad happened it was Amee. At least one good thing came out of the whole thing, Amee found books. If only Jane had stopped there.

Amee had opened the floodgate. She remembered every lecture from her teachers and parents in those early years. If she kept on the path she was on she was destined for jail, or worse. Of course there were the counselors too her parents sent her to. She told them the truth, that she wasn’t a bad girl, it was just Jane causing it all, of course the counselors told her to take responsibility for her own actions. Not to mention the three or four times she had to speak to police because of something that happened at school, or in the neighborhood, she was the first kid they looked at. Everyone was the same, no one believed her. She was a troublemaker and that was that.

Grade six, the true nightmare began. She had managed to keep a low profile. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down, as the Japanese say. Amee did her best to be invisible, quietly reading her books, ignoring everyone else. She showed up to class, she didn’t participate freely in class discussions but at least she didn’t get in trouble. Guidance counselors in her junior high approached her parents, and suggested she might be into drugs, or worse, suicidal. When Mr. Hamilton announced his diagnosis to Amee and her parents, Amee laughed. The trio of adults looked at her with a mixture of concern and frustration. Amee just responded.

“You’re crazy,”

And promptly walked out, which began a new cycle of counseling sessions, and weekly parental interventions. Amee grew more and more frustrated. She couldn’t get it right. If she participated and tried to make friends she was a troublemaker, if she didn’t she was a drug addict, or crazy. Her frustration came to a head in the fall of grade eight, she was fourteen and it was Valentine’s day.

It really started about a week before Valentine’s day. She was sitting in math, and she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked behind her and Veronica offered her a note with a heart on it, and Amee written underneath. Amee unfolded it.

‘Do you want to go to go to the Valentine’s day dance with me?’ It was signed by Kurt. Amee looked back at him, she’d had a crush on him since grade six, but she’d never told anyone. Kurt smiled at her and Amee blushed and turned her face back towards the note. With a shaking hand she wrote, ‘Yes’. She folded the note and passed it back to Veronica. Amee watched as the note made its way back to Kurt who opened and the note, and Amee watched as his eyes scanned for her answer. When he read the bottom of the note he winked at Amee and wrote something on the note. The note made its way back across the room. Amee unfolded it and read the bottom, ‘Feb 14, 5:15 east stairwell’ Amee nodded to Kurt and put the note in her pocket as the teacher walked in.

Amee kept calm through most of the day, but she couldn’t hold it in by the time she got home she was bouncing. This of course resulted in her mother grabbing her school bag and looking for drugs almost immediately after she entered the kitchen. With narrowed eyes, her mother asked.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

Amee said probably in the happiest tone her mother had heard since she had been ten, even her mother’s suspicions couldn’t dampen her good mood that day.

“Empty your pockets, now.”

Her mother pointed to the counter.

“Why do you always have to be like this mom? I had a good day!”

Amee pulled the contents from her pockets and dumped them on the counter, she had been so elated by Kurt’s invitation she’d forgotten about the note in her pocket. When she saw it sitting there bared for all to see on the kitchen counter she went to snatch it back, but her mother was faster than her.

“What’s this then? Your stash? Do you realize I’m a United States Senator?”

Her mother unfolded the note, and her hand went to her mouth.

“Oh…I’m so sorry Amee, I had no idea.”

Her mother folded the note and put it down gently on the counter.

“I suppose this means you’ll need a new dress.”

Her mother looked down at Amee with a soft smile, the first one Amee remembered in years.

“Really?”

Amee looked surprised.

“Yes really, I can spare some time tomorrow night, you, Amber and I will go out together, have a girls shopping night.”

Amee’s mother wrapped her arms around Amee, it was the first hug Amee remembered getting in years. Maybe things would be different.

Amee was on top of the world. School that day seemed to take forever, but it didn’t get her spirits down. Her mother was actually taking her shopping, not one of her staff, but her mother. She did her best to avoid trouble that day, a remarkable feat given her track record. Her patience and good behavior had worked in her favor and she managed to get home on time. Amee tried not to be too excited, her mother had a habit of cancelling plans at the last minute, but she had promised. Amee got home and walked into the kitchen with her fingers crossed behind her back.

She was pleasantly surprised to see her mother waiting for her.

“Hi mom.”

Amee dropped her school bag and latched onto her mother.

“How was school?”

Her mother asked.

“Oh it was great, got perfect on my history quiz!”

Amee burst out, happy that her mother asked her how school was, not an accusation, or lecture, but just a simple question.

“When are we going shopping?”

“As soon as Amber gets home, she has a practice tonight. Why don’t you go get your homework done, and we’ll get ready when Amber gets here, I have some things to take care of.”

Her mother looked down at her notebook. Amee bounced up the stairs, almost running over her little brother, who looked utterly terrified as she passed him. She heard him yelling downstairs.

“Mom something’s wrong with Amee. She’s smiling and it’s creepy!”

Amee shook her head and sat down at her desk. A few hours later she heard Amber calling her name from downstairs so she went down to join them.

“Mom, I donno why you are bothering, doesn’t matter what you put on her she’s not gonna be pretty, she’s a freak.”

Amber complained to their mother.

“Amber, that is no way to talk about your sister. You remember your first school dance. We spent four hours looking for a dress for you.”

Their mother smiled.

“Well that was completely different.”

Amber said in muted tone.

The trio made the trip to the mall. Amber demanded to drive of course. Amee was sure she wanted to drive all the time to rub in the fact she could. The trip was memorable, at least for Amee, she hadn’t had a talk with her sister and the mother for years. Here they were in a car chatting like two sisters and their mother. She didn’t even remember the conversation; just that she was having one of the happiest moments in her life. The trip was perfect in almost every way, even Amber managed not to insult her too much. She had some difficulties finding a dress she felt comfortable in, she felt overweight, so it was hard finding the right dress.

For the entire week she was on top of the world. Finally the day of the dance arrived. Amee spent an hour with Amber trying to get her hair right. Amber was actually nice, which was a change from her usual self. Her mother wasn’t home that night, but her father was going to be home. He had promised her a ride to the dance. She remembered his face when he saw her come down the stairs in that dress, with her hair up, even she had to admit she looked good. She still remembered he didn’t say anything for what seemed like an eternity, and he smiled.

“You are so beautiful.”

It was simple and to the point, it was her father in a simple sentence. Career military, he didn’t mince words, nor was he a poet, but those four words may as well have been a Shakespearian sonnet to Amee. The ride to the dance was quiet at first, her father seeming to ponder his next words. Silently she was amused. Finally when he did speak, it wasn’t his usual confident self speaking, he seemed hesitant.

“Amee, I didn’t think we would be having this talk for a while…but… well it seems you’ve grown up overnight. So, well, young men, boys, they tend to want to… especially…”

Amee put her hand over her mouth, it was the first time in her life she had ever heard her father stammering, so she had decided to rescue him.

“I know, it’s just a dance dad. And if he does anything I don’t want him to do, you’ll shoot him right?”

Her father simply nodded in response, looking relieved he didn’t have to give that talk to her. They pulled up beside the school.

“Twenty-hundred hours, you will rendezvous with me here. Understood?”

Her father fell back to his military speak, he always seemed more comfortable in the role of Colonel then that of father.

“That’s ten right dad?”

Amee leaned down. Her father looked very serious for a moment but then he noticed her smile, and gave a slight smile himself. Her father saluted and drove off. Amee walked up towards the stairwell where Kurt had set the meeting point.

Amee paced a bit, she reached to check her cell phone, but found she didn’t have it with her. Maybe she was early. The evening wore on, she thought Kurt might have gotten tied up, or had an accident, or any number of other unlikely circumstances. She peeked in and didn’t see him in the dance. So she stayed in the stairwell waiting for him. Eventually she noticed people leaving the school, and the dull beat of the music had faded. She still waited, she still had faith in humanity. But slowly a realization started sink in, he had stood her up. How she could have thought he actually liked her. She had fought back tears, until the door to the stairwell opened.

Kurt, Jane, and a couple of Jane’s friends had entered the stairwell. The three girls started to laugh almost immediately. Kurt at first looked a little bit hesitant about the whole thing, but afterwards Amee had realized he was just faking, because the moment she looked hopeful, he pointed and laughed at her too. Amee vaguely remembered running out of the doors, tears in her eyes, she barely remembered the ride home.

“Amee Morris?”

Amee felt an elbow in her side and blinked a few times, she heard her name being called by the coach.

*****

Douglas Shaw leaned back in his chair thumbs pressed together, fingers tapping each other as he plotted his next move. He was drawn out of his maze of thoughts when the buzzer indicating his secretary had a call for him squawked. He leaned forward and picked up the receiver.

“Mr. Shaw, there’s a man on the phone, won’t tell me his name or reason for calling, but he says you’re expecting his call, should I transfer him?” Douglas smiled: It must be the surveillance team. His secretary was what most would consider eye candy, but Douglas had picked her well, she had brains to back up her good looks.

“Yes, please, but before you do what does my schedule look like for the afternoon?” Douglas glanced down at his day-planner, it showed he was clear but must always be certain.

“Research for the Parson’s case is what I have down.” She took a moment to answer.

“Yes thank you, move that to sometime tomorrow, I’m going to need to meet this client. Please transfer them.” Douglas waited until he heard the click of the transfer and the shift in background noise. “Douglas Shaw, how may I help you?”

“I am the person Mr. McDonald told you would be calling.” The unidentified man’s voice was non-descript. Douglas tapped his pen on the desk he didn’t like this not knowing who he was working with.

“Hello, I was waiting for your call, would you like to meet to discuss specifics?” Douglas would be damned before he let someone he didn’t know lose on a project he was in control of.

“That would be unwise, Mr. McDonald suggested we handle things by phone and email. That way your hands are mostly clean. I’ve started surveillance on the subject. So far I’ve noticed we are not the only team on the job, there seem to be others watching the subject. They haven’t noticed us thus far. Is there anything specific I am watching for?” Douglas’s knuckles turned white as he wrapped them around his pen, he hated being in the dark.

“I want patterns, when she is alone, when the secret service changes shifts, and keep an eye on the other tail. Anything else odd that Mr. McDonald would like to be advised.” Douglas kept his voice calm, but he was starting to dislike this devil’s bargain he’d made.

“Alright I’ll contact you if anything of interest comes up, I’ll need two weeks to get a good solid schedule for her, anything less would be careless.” The man at least sounded professional to Douglas’s ears.

“I understand, take whatever time you need, but we should look at Halloween as the solid end date of this project. That gives you five weeks. Contact me if anything that seems out of the ordinary or the girl is in danger, Mr. McDonald wants her alive, and personally I don’t trust the Secret Service to take this seriously.” Douglas hung up the phone without waiting for a response his frustration was starting to show. He leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers together again.