Over the next week, Ross and Everest went through proper stances for fighting. They tried several different styles, even a few martial arts, but boxing came easiest to Ross. This somewhat excited Everest, who claimed the combat style was one of the few good things to come from Earth. He then proceeded to take Ross through several famous boxing moves throughout Earth’s history shortly after teaching him the basics. None of the moves really resonated with Ross, however; he seemed to prefer a straight-forward approach of jabs and uppercuts. Thus, for the next several days, Ruth and Everest helped Ross to develop his own style and pace of boxing, Everest encouraging him to develop custom moves of his own. This, Ross did in secret and under the cover of night; he wanted to surprise Everest with it, and trained more than he was directed to. Oddly enough, his higher-than-average stats helped him to keep going longer than he thought possible.
On the sixth evening of travel, not even an hour after Ross’s late night training session, Everest had shaken him awake in a bit of a panic.
“We’ve gotta get moving, kid. Ruth’s ready to go, and so am I. There are a few bosses nearby, and I got a harshly direct command from Otectvurce to simply run from any mob we see.”
“The system lag..?” Ross asked, shakily pushing himself to his feet as he rubbed his eyes.
“Yeah. He said he’s working on a solution, and that it won’t be good to get into a fight while he develops it.”
“What kind of solution is it?” Ross asked, rolling up his sleeping bag as quickly as he could muster.
“A bad one.” Everest grunted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following day and night were a blur of rapid movement and quick meals. The group had journeyed into a dangerous area called ‘Udorazki Passage’, although Everest informed his trainees the locals called it the ‘Valley of Defeat’. It was a notoriously difficult place for any adventurer below level 75, and bosses were the only mobs that spawned in the area. Fortunately, there was a path that remained relatively safe thanks to Everest’s runes; any time he placed a stone from his bag which he’d scrawled a protective spell upon, the area in a 500-meter radius around that stone was considered a safe zone, not allowing bosses or level 5 or higher mobs near the group. He’d been enchanting them as they moved, and even as they traversed the desert, Everest engraved yet more rocks which he stored in his inventory.
The boss monsters weren’t the only danger, unfortunately; the immense heat in the area was almost as threatening to adventurers, and while Ross became severely dehydrated every hour of traveling without water, Ruth had become sunburnt within minutes of entering the region. Her pale skin didn’t fare well under desert conditions, and she in fact received a constitution deficit while in the region whose timer reset while she remained in the valley. What’s more, the area they’d come in through was the only opening in an otherwise bowl-shaped carving in the geography. After the group would finally pass through the area, which would take around twenty hours at their best pace, they’d need to climb a mountain for another five hours before finally arriving at the small town of Sathenkura. It was here that Everest could stop by a shrine of Otectvurce and wait out the solution that the deity had decided upon.
During the walk, despite having to talk through a text chat feature Ross hadn’t known about until the night before for stealth purposes, the group discussed next steps. Much to the chagrin of Ross and Ruth, Everest had informed them that any experience they’d gained in the last few weeks could be in jeopardy thanks to the supposedly reckless fix Otectvurce would put into place.
“On the bright side” Everest said through the chat, “Not having gained any experience for this long has definitely raised your chances to keep the experience you already gained. No guarantees, but you can at least hope.”
The pair also learned through Everest that any passive gains were on hold by Otectvurce himself until the fix, which Everest had lovingly nicknamed ‘Fuckery’; this meant they could expect a nice boost to their constitution and charisma scores once the ordeal was over and done with. This helped with motivation, especially for Ross; he was wondering why none of the abilities he was told about had appeared in his interface, and this finally gave him a solid answer. He’d be able to gain it all in relative peace soon, he just had to soldier on a little bit more.
By the time the group hit the fifteen hour mark, the sun had set and a blessed chill settled over the area. Several of the bosses had also hunkered down for the night, which allowed the group to travel far faster, shaving over an hour off of their total travel time. Upon reaching the gradually sharper incline of the valley’s mountainous rim, the group finally stopped to have a veritable feast courtesy of Everest.
“Compared to that hellscape, I’m actually excited to climb these mountains.” Ruth said, and Ross nodded his agreement, mouth filled with half a flank of meat. Everest let out a content sigh as he fully drained a bottle of what Ross could only assume was a high proof alcohol. Despite smelling strongly of the stuff, Everest didn’t seem even slightly inebriated, even after a second and third bottle settled in him over the course of an hour. Everest laughed at the expression Ross gave him, and Ruth giggled through a sip of juice.
“It’s fine, kid; one of my main traits prevents poisons from being very effective, and fully ignores secondary effects of potions and consumables.” He held up the bottle he had drained first, shaking it slightly.
“This stuff is an alcohol that’s 90-proof, and it grants immense refreshment after traversing extreme temperatures; drink it hot if you’ve been in the tundra, and ice cold for a place like this. The secondary effect is harsh, knocking you on your ass with Alcohol thirteen for five hours, but my trait ignores that part of it.” Ross nodded, interest piqued.
“So this world’s alcohol has bonus effects?” he asked. Everest shook his head.
“Some of them do; the good stuff always does, actually. The better the effect, though, the more drunk you get. It’s why they aren’t usually a viable potion replacement, often a last resort for last resorts.”
“But you make it your primary source?” Ross asked, then Everest nodded, laughing.
“Potions are disgusting on several accounts, kid. Flavor, aftertaste, and gods help you if you get acid reflux. Alcohols are made to taste good and deliver effects after heavy fights. I obviously keep potions on me, too, but those are my last resort while in a fight. Alcohol effects aren’t instantaneous or anything.”
“Huh.” Ross said, scratching his chin. “I haven’t thought about what consumables I might use.”
“Health.” Ruth and Everest said in unison, then the trio laughed together.
“I know that.” Ross said, chuckling. “What I want to know is what variety of consumables those should be.”
Everest shrugged. “Honestly? Start with potions and a tattoo or two, and see how that fares. I can show you a handful of available consumables when we get to Sathenkura, but since they’re a small town, there won’t be anything too rare. Who knows, though? Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
The group was silent for a few minutes as they gorged themselves on the spread. The food was fresh from the stasis of Everest’s inventory, which was something Ross was curious about; as it turned out, the inventories in the system worked like a Bag of Holding, but better. Anything placed inside would remain in stasis for as long as the inventory’s owner was alive and held it there. It stopped timers, held temperatures and even halted powders from settling on the bottom of the water they were mixed into - that had been mentioned when Ruth asked about kool-aid.
After a few more minutes of content silence, Everest spoke again.
“Listen, kids. I know I’ve been hard on you, but I’m proud of how far you two have come. Ruth, you’ve been keeping to your training, which is excellent. You’ve improved your own combat style, and your skills with that meteor hammer are better than anyone I’ve seen below level 100.”
He turned to Ross, and his smile grew softer; it was barely perceptible, but Ross saw the change immediately.
“Ross, I think you’re coming into your own already. I know you’re not a huge fan of fighting, but I know you’ve been putting in extra hours. I’ve heard you later at night, when I was communing with Otectvurce; you know your limits, and have been pushing them more than I thought you would. I’m incredibly impressed, and I’m proud to say that you’re one person I’m actually excited to work with. I haven’t met someone like that in a long time, Ross; Ruth has been here for almost four years now, which is the last time I actually wanted to train someone. Too many slackers and stuck-up twats have gone through my care, but you’ve shown more promise than I could have ever hoped for.”
Ross felt himself choke up while grinning broadly, but his mentor wasn’t done.
“I want you to know that you can talk to me, kid. I’m here as a mentor, but as of this morning, Otectvurce has granted me permission to stick with ya throughout the remainder of your time in this world. I want to make sure you get what you need to grow, so anything you need, you let me know. Finances are something I’ll push you into handling yourself, but a rare item or help training a skill? Any questions about the world or mobs, or how any new event works?” Everest jabbed his thumb into his chest, smiling warmly.
“I’m your guy. Just keep trying, and I’ll keep helping.”
At this, Ross fully broke into tears. He held his face in his hands, laugh-crying, only to feel a hand rub his back. Everest sat next to him, still smiling.
“I know it’s been rough, kid. Let it out. You’re doing amazingly well.”
Ross sniffled in reply, followed by some slight incoherent babbling. This made him break into a fit of laughter, followed shortly thereafter by Ruth and Everest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It took around half an hour for Ross to fully calm down, after which he profusely thanked Everest. He felt a lot of resolve that he had lost return to him in a flood of adrenaline and dopamine, and while his mentor had to send a brief report to Otectvurce, Ross and Everest stayed up for a couple hours after Ruth had turned in for the night. After a bit of probing from each side of the conversation, they had discovered a few points of common ground.
“Okay, okay, I get it,” Everest said, “Queen is a classic band. They have some serious bops, but I mean… Come on! They don’t outshine Aerosmith.”
“You can’t be serious, man.” Ross said. “Bohemian Rhapsody? Fat-Bottomed Girls? Radio Gaga? Next you’ll say that Killer Queen means less than American Pie.”
Everest was silent for a moment, and Ross threw an exaggerated expression of outrage at him.
“Hey, now hold on!” Everest said, waving his hands. “Just because American Pie is better than Killer Queen doesn’t mean Killer Queen isn’t a certified banger!”
Ross shook his head, mock disbelief still plastered on his face. “I can’t believe I'm talking to you.”
Everest laughed. “You realize that ABBA is still one of the bands better than Queen, right?”
Ross squinted his eyes at Everest. “In what regard?”
“Dramatic storytelling through music..?”
Ross thought for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll give you that.” He scratched his chin before continuing.
“How about Foreigner?”
“I raise you Styx.”
“Counter offer: Poison.”
“I counter that counter-offer with a Lynyrd Skynyrd.”
“Oooh,” Ross said, hissing through his teeth. He thought for a moment before snapping his fingers.
“Two words. Adam. Ant.”
“Oh, damn!” Everest said, slapping a hand to his forehead. “That’s hard to beat, especially with Goody Two Shoes.”
Ross nodded smugly, and Everest scratched the back of his neck.
“Guess my man Billy Joel can’t match those vibes in quite the same way.”
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
“Not really!” Ross laughed, leaning back against the log he’d slumped up against. “Though I have to give you points for such a creative genius.”
“Creative genius!?” Everest said, matching Ross’s previous look of affront.
“Yeah. Piano Man, We Didn’t Start the Fire, Uptown Girl-”
“Need I remind you of the J. Geils Band?”
“... Oh, look at the time. Gotta get our rest for mountain climbing tomorrow!”
The pair laughed, Everest waving Ross to his sleeping bag as he shook his head.
“We will continue this discussion in town, kid.”
“I know. Just bought myself more time to remember a creativity counter to the makers of Freeze Frame and Centerfold.”
“Just go to bed already!” Everest said, flicking Ross a middle finger. Ross laughed again, crawling into his bag.
“Chumbawamba…” Ross muttered, muffled by his pillow.
“Wuzzat?” Everest said, turning to face Ross again.
“Nothing!” Ross called back before fake snoring.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following day, due to the group being ahead of schedule, Everest allowed Ruth and Ross to sleep in for a couple of hours. This close to the edge of the valley, bosses didn’t bother to approach; those that roamed there were suited to desert travel, not chases across mountainous terrain. Once the two proteges finally woke up, their senses were filled with the smells of a freshly-cooked breakfast waiting for them. Everest stood proudly, caked in egg and batter, gesturing to a smaller but no less impressive feast he’d laid out atop a blanket for the group. He’d even taken the time to set up a canopy above it all to protect them from the cruel rays pounding down. The group took another much needed break to eat, and Ross blinked at a new notification on his screen. He opened it, popping a spoonful of egg yolk and bacon into his mouth.
[ You’ve unlocked a new Trait: Omnilingual! This trait is set to max Rank (Rank 100) upon obtaining it. However, the following alterations and notes have been created by {admin_O}:
* You cannot speak to plants or animals
* You do not need an adjustment period to use languages
* You can choose to manually toggle languages, or maintain the default setting of auto-toggling
* You do not properly learn languages through this trait]
Ross scratched his nose.
“Everest?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you have Otectvurce give me Omnilingual at max rank so I can talk to the locals?”
“Bingo.”
“Won’t that mess with the system?”
“Nope. Just pushed the update to the top of priority.”
“Sweet.” Ross said, taking another heaping bite of his breakfast. “Goddamn, this is good, Everest!”
Everest just grinned, nabbing what looked to be an oversized everything bagel from a stack of varying flavors. He gestured to the mountain behind him with a head jerk, and spoke with his mouth full of bread.
“We gotta get going relatively soon, but with how fast we eat, we should stay right on time. Oh, and I nearly forgot to tell you something, Ross.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t crap anymore.”
“...What?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Around four and a half hours and one intense biological discussion later, the trio had begun their comparatively short trek to the small village. It rested at the very back of a cavernous hole gouged into the side of a mountain, angled slightly upwards. The path leading up to it from one of the two possible entry points - the mile-long slope to the end of Hazlo Pass - was lined on either side with trees grown impossibly healthy for such a place. Their leaves scraped the top of the tunnel, and their branches brushed the cavern walls. The other entry point - an oddly-angled hole directly next to Sathenkura, which let in sunlight and rain - was a far more treacherous climb. The path up had obvious and secure handholds, but the entry was just precarious enough to cause more than a few Heroes' deaths in the past.
The local guard - a species of Hybrid that were half treant and half forest elf - held bows at the ready to fend off any possible intruders. Despite being found most commonly in woodlands and jungles, they were well known for a cheap and loyal guard service called The Promenade. This service is what allowed the more oddly-placed villages to flourish in otherwise hostile areas, such as boss-heavy zones or, in this case, heavily mountainous regions.
Behind the Treant-Elves were another row of their kin, but smaller - these were hybrids of treants and gnomes. Although they were far less adept at aiming bows, their mechanical know-how combined with wood manipulation allowed them to make something akin to a mounted turret of wooden stakes atop a ten-foot-high wall around Sathenkura. The guards turned as one, every crossbow and ballista pointed in the direction of voices growing louder. After hearing the discussion come into earshot, some of them looked at one another in disgusted confusion, but those who knew them to most likely be traveling hero trainees - obviously fresh faces in this realm, thanks to the nature of said discussion - whispered to one another in hopeful excitement, though none shifted more than a few inches from their positions.
“...So what you’re saying is,” Ross said, clearly confused and intrigued, “Once we’re registered in the system, our bodies are physiologically ‘perfect’?”
“For the fifth time, Ross, yes.” Everest said, rubbing his temples.
“Just like that? No chance for cancer, no eroding DNA buffers, perfect energy conversion. All for clicking a few illusory buttons.”
“For gods’ sake, Ross, yes!”
“Hey, I’m just trying to make sense of this world, and you basically drop a truth bomb that’s quite literally impossible throughout every known universal and biological law. How do you not expect me to be skeptical and confused?”
“I- Actually, that’s a fair point.”
“Took me awhile, too.” Ruth said. “Thank the gods I don’t have lactose intolerance anymore.”
“You’d have killed us all after the dairy you ate over the past dozen hours.” Everest said, playfully bumping her shoulder with his fist.
“Hey, you knew that within the first week of me being here, Ev. If you haven’t figured out by now that my body and I were constantly at war, then I dunno what to tell you!”
“Wait wait wait. He lets you call him Ev?” Ross asked, dumbfounded.
“Well, duh. He’s all about efficiency.” Ruth said. Ross turned to Everest, affronted.
“I was never informed of this.”
“What, that you could call me Ev?” Everest said.
“That you’re all about efficiency!” Ross said.
“Well, fuck you too, then.” Everest said, chuckling. Ross and Ruth joined him, as they finally stopped at the gate.
“Halt there, travelers!” said a particularly tall and muscular treant-elf. His natural armor - a chestplate made of dense bark, inherent in nearly all treant-elves - seemed to be both thicker and more gnarled than that of his nearby kin. His olive skin was scarred and ragged, but his bright yellow eyes held a determination and certainty Ross felt immediately intimidated by. He shrunk back a little bit, quickly deciding Everest could do the talking here. However, as the guard looked the group down, he gave a warm smile and lightened his gaze.
“Uvy!” The guard said, wrapping Everest in a tight hug. The pair embraced for only a couple of seconds, patting one another on the back before pulling apart.
“I’ll be damned! I can’t believe you’re still alive, Bloomknot!” Everest cried, laughing loudly. “You’ve always been the type to launch into the worst of it. It’s been, what, thirty years?”
“Forty-two, actually.” Bloomknot responded, smiling. His gravelly voice resounded all around the mountainous pass, though he clearly wasn’t yelling. His accent reminded Ross of an odd fusion of Greek and Australian. “I’m surprised you’re not tied to a post and foaming from the mouth! Last I saw you, the trainees from Backwash were driving you mad.”
“Gods, they were. Entitled, idiotic or both.” Everest sighed, shaking his head. “Fortunately, we’ve got two good eggs here. Ruth and Ross, meet Monty Bloomknot. Bloomknot, this is Ruth, and this is Ross.” Everest said as he pointed to each of the pair in turn. Monty gave each of them a bow.
“Pleased to meet you, young heroes!” he said. “Welcome to the mountain village of Sathenkura! I am a proud member of the Yosurim race, or treant-elves.” Though his demeanor was friendly, there was something wary in his eyes as he looked over Ross.
“I must say, young hero, that I am surprised by your choice in race. Not many choose a species related to upcoming Disaster Events.”
“Disaster Events?” Ross asked, body stiffening slightly.
“Yes, you probably came here before going through one. Disaster Events are a sort of realm-cleansing, removing all of the convicted felons and criminally insane individuals from any number of our twelve realms and spreading them across the remaining eleven. They are secluded to the wilderness, given Special Boss titles should it be warranted, and blocked from coming within so many miles of any civilization. In just over a couple month’s time, the Giant’s Disaster Event will be occurring.”
“Ah, that.” Ross said, sighing. “Everest told me it was called the Titan… something or other.”
“Titan Flux.” Everest corrected. “It’s the term Otectvurce uses in the system now.”
“You and your nonsensical naming conventions.” Bloomknot said, smiling and shaking his head.
“Hey,” Everest said, “It’s better than your terminology. More of an ominous tone.”
“In what universe do you honestly believe that ‘Titan Flux’ is more ominous than ‘the Giant Disaster Event’?”
“Every universe in the cosmos, maybe? ‘Giant Disaster Event’ sounds like a children’s storybook.”
Ruth giggled. “It really does.”
Bloomknot simply gave the group an odd look with a raised eyebrow before once more smiling and shaking his head.
“Regardless, I’m more than happy to allow you all into this town. We have quests aplenty, and we could show you to the nearby dungeon if you’d like. All we need from you is proof that you are who you say you are.”
Ross opened his mouth to reply, but Everest stepped in front of him, handing over three stones covered in runes. At first Ross thought they were more of the protective enchantments, but upon closer inspection, the writing was different; it was longer, had smaller print and looked to be an entirely different language from Everest’s normal runes. Bloomknot held up the first one aimed at Ruth, then pressed a rune on the bottom Ross had not seen; it was like the eye of a hurricane, massive and prominent, perfectly centered within the rest of the runes. The touched rune glowed yellow for a moment, then shifted to green. A small, perfectly detailed image of Ruth’s face popped up from the top of the stone, almost like a hologram. Bloomknot nodded, pressing the large rune on it once more before putting it away. He repeated this process with Everest, then with Ross.
“What are those things?” Ross asked Everest as Bloomknot put the stones away in his pack, clearly curious and concerned.
“It’s like an ID for your personal system signature,” Everest said, “and it’s unable to be tampered with thanks to Otectvurce himself. All of his disciples make them for each new hero or trainer entering this world. Shapeshifters do exist, after all.”
The thought of someone other than himself wearing his face made Ross shiver, and he turned back to Monty anxiously. After a long pause, Monty nodded to the trio with another smile.
“It all checks out! Welcome to Sathenkura proper. If you need anything, feel free to stop by the reception desk in the town hall. The inns here offer free room and board for those actively adventuring on behalf of the town, and the open market is just down the main street; take a right at the central fountain, and keep going. You can’t miss it!”
After a few grateful nods, the group entered through the gates. There were three in total, each identical in construction; heavy and durable dark gray metal bent into barely spaced bars, almost reminding Ross of a prison door. Between each pair of gates, the vestibules acted as security measures against monsters that managed to roam too close to the town. The guards would seal the gates and hold pikes on either end of the penetrated entryway. The monster would then be peppered with arrows from above and piercing attacks from the sides, with solid steel below. Anything able to survive that much punishment would be able to get through a different way anyways, and no such monsters had been seen in centuries anywhere close to the village. This didn’t mean the guard was without contingencies, however.
Hidden just behind the third gate was a series of metallic contraptions of gears and wheels nearly twenty meters tall, with what looked to Ross like a massive barbell sticking out of one spot on the machine. Bloomknot explained that they were called ‘Adjustable Skullcrackers’, but Everest’s nickname for them - ‘Punters’ - seemed to stick far more than the official title. Bloomknot’s explanation continued as he said the monsters that were affected by such things tended to be larger in size, and an odd form of tool comparable to a massive car jack was used to transport them to the front lines. The gates were barely tall enough to grant the behemoth machines passage. The group had stopped in the second vestibule to discuss the machines further, their polished forms visible over the top of the thick wooden barrier surrounding the village.
“The way they work,” Bloomknot had said, “is through an escalating gear size and a bit of automagy.”
“Automagy?” Ross asked, and Bloomknot nodded.
“Yes, it is a special kind of magic that uses an initial burst from the caster to set up, but then draws on ambient magic to continue working. The caster can dismiss it at any time, and it will otherwise forever work, so long as the area isn’t barren of natural magic.”
“So you basically have a perpetually self-spinning set of gears?” Ross asked. “Nice! What’s the clump of metal on the end of that pole for, though?”
Everest grinned, as did Bloomknot. The latter continued the explanation.
“It’s an adjustable weight; the heavier it is, the more automagy we need to set up. We may need four automages for larger enemies, but it’s well worth it to see a centaur or troll get launched a handful of kilometers away.”
“What happens if the weight is too much for an enemy?”
“The enemy either explodes, if it’s weak enough,” Everest said, grinning wildly, “Or it’s shot away like a ballista bolt.” He turned to Bloomknot.
“Is the record still a thousand and fifty-seven kilometers?” asked Everest.
“For that Wind Tortoise?” asked Bloomknot, smiling. “Someone found a Buoyant Armadillo, and managed to send it out nearly two thousand kilometers.”
“Holy shit…” Ross muttered, trying to force back a grin and failing. He hated to admit it, but seeing something like a kanpodomelis getting launched like a superball would be rather cathartic for him.
“We can show you how they work the next time we get a few monsters at our doorstep that warrant them.” Bloomknot said to Ross. “It really is something to see.”
Everest nodded, still beaming.
“That might just be the coolest thing I’ve seen in this world.”
“Just wait until you see the city.” Bloomknot said, then paused. His smile widened.
“Actually, why wait?” He said, pushing the final gate open.