"This way," Mira directed her boyfriend, pulling him by the hand. "Come on!"

Gadalik had always wanted to go hiking with her, but he didn't expect the rush. He could barely keep up, which was a testament to how fast she was. Still, curiosity about her intentions drove him to try.

They stopped at the top of a cliff overlooking a lake that sparkled in the afternoon sun. They took in the view for a few moments.

"Do you like it?" Mira eventually asked the older teen.

"I love it. It reminds me of where we met," he said.

"Can you believe it's been nine months since then?"

"Has it really?"

"Yeah. I figured, if we can't go back to Rosepetal Lake for our six-month anniversary, that this would be the next closest thing."

Six months? Gadalik couldn't believe they had been dating that long. They hadn't hit any of the milestones expected of a romantic relationship, after all. He felt a slight pang of guilt over his lack of affection toward her.

"We can set up our picnic here and enjoy the view," she said. "Maybe even go swimming later."

"That'd be nice," he agreed. She doesn't seem deterred by it, at least.

They unpacked their blanket and sat down on it to eat. His striped blue eyes caught her violet ones staring at him periodically, before she'd blush and look away each time.

"Something on your mind?" he finally asked.

"It's just…really nice up here, isn't it?" she said vaguely.

He swallowed the last of his food. "Very. I've always liked being so high-up."

"And…it's really nice being up here together. Right?"

"For sure."

She seemed pleased by his answers. Then she moved closer to him.

Gadalik expected her to lean on his shoulder as she had done on their last date, so he didn't mind her motion until he realized she was aiming for a kiss this time.

He panicked internally. Should I let her…? I promised myself I'd try to reciprocate her love, but…I just don't feel ready. Will things be different after the first kiss…?

She noticed his reaction and sat straighter. "Hey, it's alright. Relax."

Gadalik let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Sorry… I'm just…not used to this kind of stuff."

"Don't worry about it," she murmured, unable to hide her disappointment.

That pang of guilt returned.

"I have the whole day planned out for us. You love hiking, so we can cross that off the list now. We're done eating, right? Let's go."

He once again followed her as she led him down the mountain trail on their way to the lake. Despite their lack of milestones, holding hands had become second-nature to Gadalik at this point, which did feel like progress to him, at least until the kiss setback.

The couple headed to the tourist shops to browse the merchandise, but didn't buy anything, since Mira declared it all overpriced. And he agreed with her, although it would have been nice to have something to remember their day.

"Well, that was a bust. But there's more we can do. Let's go swimming!" she said, sounding suddenly encouraged.

They changed to their swimsuits, Mira sporting a black two-piece while Gadalik more modestly wore a tank and trunks. They made it to the lake and while Mira ran straight for the water, Gadalik froze at the touch of the shore, suddenly getting intensely hot.

It took his girlfriend a second to realize he wasn't with her. "Gadalik?"

He glanced down at his hands to find he was shivering… Scarcely breathing.

Flashbacks played before his eyes–of being underwater, and striving–arms paralyzed–to reach the light of the surface as his last breath escaped him…

"Gadalik," she called again, grabbing his wrist.

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He jolted, gasped, then struggled to catch his breath, clutching his tightened chest. He backed away from the water, shaking his head.

"What's the matter with you? Calm down!"

He couldn't. He felt sick. He ran.

"Gadalik!" She pursued until he entered an outhouse, not having time to shut the door before she heard him vomit. "H-Hey! Talk to me…!"

"I can't…do it…" he managed to say voicelessly as he struggled to get a breath in. "I drowned… I… I died, Mira…"

His girlfriend stared at him, then remembered pulling his lifeless body to shore with her chain, where their supervisor had only just managed to revive him. She covered her mouth. "I… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have brought you to a lake after what happened. We can leave."

The older spook didn't have the strength to reply. He felt weak and dizzy from lack of oxygen. His vision started to fade and he sank to the ground as his body felt too heavy to support itself.

"Gadalik?"

He passed out.

Gadalik awoke with a start on a bench. "What… What happened…?"

"You had another one of your anxiety attacks," Mira answered from the ground next to him, "except I've never seen you that bad off…"

He lay there for a moment as he still felt exhausted, then managed to sit up.

"Are you okay…?"

He shrugged, staring at nothing in particular.

She sat next to him. "I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault… I didn't know it would be an issue until I felt the water. Everything came rushing back…"

"It's alright. We're safe." She placed her hand over his.

Gadalik couldn't bring himself to respond. It felt like his body was on autopilot, his mind completely absent. He didn't know how long the two sat in silence. Nothing felt real.

"It's getting late… I don't think we can make it home before nightfall. We should stay in a room here until morning."

He nodded ever so slightly, forcing himself off the bench to follow her to the nearest hotel.

The cheapest place only had one bed per room, so Gadalik took a seat on the floor, still spaced out.

To his mild surprise, Mira sat down beside him instead of taking the bed. "Things weren't supposed to turn out like this," she murmured.

"I'm sorry…our day was ruined because of me…" he realized. First the kiss, and now this…

"Don't apologize. I still had fun up until now," she assured him. There was an edge to her voice, but it dulled as she said, "Take the bed. You need to rest."

When he didn't answer, she stood and pulled him up.

Not wanting Mira to hurt herself lifting him, he complied. The bed wasn't much better than the floor, but he didn't complain. He just wanted to sleep forever. So he drifted off.

Gadalik opened his eyes to find Mira sitting at the bedside, watching him. "Hey… Feeling any better?" she asked.

He did, actually. "Still a bit shaken…but I'm okay." I feel like I reacted worse to the flashbacks than I did at the time they actually happened… "Did you sleep at all?"

"A bit. I'll nap later."

He shook his head and climbed off the mattress. "You can have the bed. Get some sleep."

She seemed surprised but didn't protest. They swapped places and Gadalik took that moment to check the time. It was maybe four in the morning. We can sleep a while longer.

Morning came and Mira was unusually quiet as they gathered their things and left for the mountain again.

Gadalik was feeling back to his usual self, but now he was worried about her. "Do you want to stop and have lunch here?" he offered, trying to cheer her up.

"No… I'm not hungry." She didn't even glance his way as she passed him.

Now he was really concerned. "Mira, what's the matter?"

"Nothing went how I wanted it to yesterday," she confessed.

"If I'd known I'd react that way to the lake, wouldn't've gone," he said, ashamed of his attack.

"I'm not talking about that…"

Oh…

"You...really weren't kidding when you said you were demi-romantic," she laughed humorlessly. "I've been patient, but…I can't do this anymore, Gadalik… I can't be with someone who doesn't love me."

"I-it's a process," Gadalik stammered, a defensiveness arising as he realized where the conversation was going. "It just…takes time…"

"Time? How long? We've known each other for nine months. We've been together for half a year. Yet we haven't kissed or done anything romantic yet."

"I… I buy you flowers… And we hug… And I take you out… I-I'm trying," he said honestly.

"All of those things are useless if there's no feeling behind it," she pointed out. "And it hurts, knowing that you're doing this all out of your sense of obligation. This whole relationship is just work to you, isn't it?"

"M-Mira…"

"Isn't it?" she repeated, tears forming in her violet eyes.

He couldn't answer.

"So you can't deny it… That's all I needed to know." She sighed. "The day we agreed to go out, you told me there was no guarantee you'd fall for me. And...I guess that's the case. So if there isn't going to be progress, then we're both wasting time on this relationship. It…" She sniffled and turned her back to him. "It's for the best that we end it."

He fell into a shocked silence. But things were going so well between us…! He remembered the time they went to the park and when she had moved to kiss him back then; how he had panicked and was relieved it didn't happen. Or…maybe they weren't, he realized. She's sensitive to rejection… Maybe this has been building up over the months and I've just been blinded by her optimism. I had no idea she felt this way…

"I… I'm going home." Mira began to walk off.

"Mira, wait," he called after her.

She hesitated but didn't turn around.

"Are we…at least still friends…?"

"I don't know what we are anymore," she answered, still not looking his way. "I just need to get over you... So let me."

He could only watch her go, dumbfounded. That pang of guilt became overwhelming and he fell to a seat on the ground as she disappeared over the mountainside.

He sat there for a long time after she left, processing the situation. He couldn't think; all he could focus on was the pain of losing someone he cared about.

She's right… Mira was the first person to say they liked me. I guess…I did feel obligated to return her love, even if it's not something I have to give.

He looked at his hand. Acceptance shifted to frustration.

What's wrong with me…? How could I fall for Gretel but not Mira? How long should it take to learn to love someone…? Will a relationship ever last long enough before ending like…this…?

All he could do was go home.