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Freeing Spirits
Episode 21: Fake it

Episode 21: Fake it

"Now that Gale's moving in, and the nursery is set up in the old guest room, the place is starting to feel fuller, isn't it?" Glacia said to her son, who had just come downstairs.

"At least he's keeping your room clean. That's some space added to it," Gadalik answered. "Why? Are you thinking about getting a bigger house?"

"No–this place is home. It'll just be an adjustment, but I'm glad it's not as empty anymore. Just seven more months to go!"

He sat beside her on the couch.

"Are you going out with Mira again today?" she asked.

"Y-Yeah…"

"You don't sound too happy about it."

"Well…I feel like things are moving too fast between us; she was so quick to put a label on our relationship," he said. "You know how many years it took me to develop a crush on Gretel… I don't know how long it will take for Mira, if I ever do fall for her."

"Maybe that's a sign that she isn't the one for you. Gale and I clicked on the first date."

"That's just it–nothing ever 'clicks' for me, being demi-romantic. Love takes time, and maintaining a relationship until then is work that I don't feel prepared for…"

"Then ask yourself: is she worth putting in the work?"

The green-haired teen fell silent. He remembered the other spook's reassuring smile and genuine concern for him on their last mission. "Well, I don't want to lose her…"

"If you want my advice, you should fake it until you make it."

"You mean…pretend to love her?" His striped blue eyes met hers doubtfully. "Wouldn't that be leading her on?"

"That's not what I meant. I think that you're scaring yourself into not even trying to reciprocate her love. I'm saying you should try, even if you don't love her yet. Make some bit of effort."

He considered her words. "You're right. I...I'll try. Thanks, Mom."

Gadalik rode his dappled gray horse Punsiv into Mira's town. He stopped by a flower shop and picked out a red-violet bouquet, since he knew that was his date's favorite color next to black.

He continued through and spotted couples holding hands as they walked down the street, and more with their arms propped over their partner's shoulders while seated on a bench.

Gadalik narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, and absently ran his fingers through his steed's white mane.

He dismounted and went to Mira's door, holding the flowers with one hand and knocking with the other.

She answered wearing a black and belted midi dress. "Gadalik, right on time," she greeted him.

The older teen held the flowers out to her.

Mira blushed and accepted them. "What're these for?"

"They're a 'thank you' gift for everything you've done for me," he replied.

She admired them for a moment, then brought them inside to put in a vase. "So what are the plans today?" she asked as she returned.

"I was wondering if we could just go to the local park," he suggested. "We could leave our horses here and take our time walking. Maybe feed the birds."

"Oh, sure."

The two tied Punsiv up with her own horse River, and then headed for the park side-by-side.

Gadalik looked down at her hand. He'd held hands with his family when he was little, but never anyone since. Would it be too personal? He wondered. Everyone else had no issues with it…

His striped blue eyes focused on her face. What is her view on it? Is it expected?

She turned to face him, catching the older spook staring.

He quickly looked away.

"You're acting a bit off today," Mira commented, slowing to a stop. "Is something bothering you?"

I should just ask her up front if that's what she'd want. But then again this is something that should be done naturally, without asking…

"Earth to Gadalik," she called him.

"Huh?" he snapped out of it.

"Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah."

She eyed him skeptically, but resumed walking.

He drew in a breath through his nose, and reached for her hand, taking it in his own.

It was cooler than his since she'd recently left her house while he'd been traveling in the sun, although the breeze helped him not to sweat. Gadalik couldn't help but look at her to make sure she wasn't uncomfortable by the gesture.

She met his gaze curiously, cheeks slightly reddened. He loosened his hold in an opportunity for her to let go if she wanted, but Mira squeezed his hand to keep it there.

He sighed with relief. I'm doing this right.

They stopped to get a small bag of birdseed on the way to the park. Once there they sat on a bench, where in front of, doves instantly landed with the expectation of being fed.

Gadalik placed the bag between them and they both scattered handfuls on the ground, watching as more birds flocked down upon the sight.

"You're left-handed?" Mira noticed.

"Huh? Oh! Uh, partly… It's cross-dominance. I favor my left hand for most tasks, but I can use my right for others."

"That's cool," she gushed. "Has anyone ever given you a hard time about it? I mean, they say it's the Devil's work, and you are a dev–I mean…witch."

"I'm not a–" He stopped himself, accepting that it was a fitting term. "Well…no. I was pretty sheltered throughout my childhood. I was homeschooled, so I'm sure maybe they would have an issue with my handedness had I gone to a public one."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Sheltered? How so?"

"I rarely got to leave my hometown, and the few 'real world' experiences I had from being left with family-friends…weren't that great. There was the restaurant owner who still hasn't forgiven me for how badly my job performance was under his care. Part of the reason is that being around a lot of people at once disorients me. Not being able to differentiate ghosts from the living didn't help."

"How are you feeling right now? We're in a public park with a decent amount of people," she pointed out.

"I can handle it right now because you're with me."

She blushed, surprised.

"That is, you're someone I can direct my focus on away from the crowd. And now that my ghost sense is under control, there're less distractions."

Mira gave a hum as she spread more birdseed, watching them peck at it. "What would happen if you used your ghost sense right now?"

He tensed. "You want me to?"

"Yeah. Can you control how far it reaches?"

"Y-yes, but… I thought you wanted me to relax?"

"Getting used to your powers will help you relax. Confront your fears, or else you'll be controlled by them," she said. "I brought my pendant with me just in case."

The older spook closed his eyes and let his sense explore the area. As expected, there was a ghost, and instantly he felt its sorrow overtake him. He could tell it was there but he couldn't make it out from the crowd. Searching for it meant honing his sense on everyone in its general direction to find out which person it was. Hearing all of their voices talk over one another began to overwhelm him. He felt a nervous bead of sweat roll down his temple.

"You weren't kidding, huh?" she remarked, his discomfort plain to see. "Tell me what you're feeling."

"There's too much going on at once for me to keep track of… It's making me feel…closed in. Trapped." Before his girlfriend could reply, he shook his head and pointed at a woman sitting on the edge of the water fountain in the center of the park, which he chose to focus on before he could get too stressed. "There. A ghost."

Mira put her enchanted necklace on and followed his gaze. "I see her! Come on, let's talk to her." She pulled him up by his hand, continuing to hold it as she guided him over to the spirit.

The woman eyed them curiously as they approached her, then covered her mouth. "You can see me?"

The spooks nodded. "I'm Mira, and this is my boyfriend Gadalik," the younger teen introduced them.

Gadalik looked away momentarily, still somewhat conflicted by the label.

"I'm...Melonie," the ghost replied.

"So, Melonie, are you waiting on something?" Mira pressed.

"W-well, yes… Every day at two in the afternoon, my best friend Chase stops by the park."

"Oh, it's one-forty-five right now. You don't have much longer to wait." She turned to her boyfriend. "She might be a determined ghost. If so, she won't need our help."

"Hang on," Gadalik said. "Every day? How long have you been here?"

Melonie froze, then shrank. "Three days."

"What?" Mira exclaimed. "Why haven't you talked to him?"

"W-Well, I'm…scared."

"Scared? Why be afraid of your best friend?"

"Well…we've never met in person. We were penpals. We planned to meet up for the first time here, but I died on the way."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Gadalik sympathized. "I imagine you'd be reluctant to meet him as a ghost, huh…?"

"Well…it's not just because I'm a ghost. It's because…I fear he won't like me once he sees how I am in person," she admitted. "I feel so much more confident when I'm writing… What if when he sees me, he decides he doesn't like me anymore? I'd rather leave things how they are than face his rejection…"

The black-haired girl softened, looking away.

If there's one thing Mira knows about, it's rejection, Gadalik thought pityingly. He stepped forward. "But if you don't confront your fears, you'll be controlled by them."

Mira looked at him as he repeated what she'd said. "That's right," she agreed. "I'd rather be rejected for being myself, than accepted for being someone I'm not. If he's really your friend, he'll like you the way you truly are. So go out there and be yourself."

Melonie gave it some thought, though she still seemed uncertain.

"It's almost two," she continued. "This could be your chance."

"Wait," the spirit stopped them. "Maybe you can help me…? Just…talk to him first. Ask him what he thinks of me."

The spooks exchanged a glance. "Alright," they agreed.

"There he is now," Melonie said, pointing to a taller man with black hair and green eyes.

Gadalik took Mira's hand and approached the man. "Excuse me, sir… Are you Chase?"

"Who wants to know?" the older male responded.

"My name is Gadalik, and this is Mira. We're…acquaintances with Melonie."

He became attentive at that.

"We only met her recently, but I was hoping you could tell us more about her."

"She was your best friend, wasn't she?" Mira joined in.

"Yes… We've written to each other since we were kids," Chase answered. "We promised to meet up here the other day, but…she died. I still come here hoping maybe it was just a bad dream, that maybe this time she'll be here waiting for me."

You have no idea, Gadalik silently replied. The spooks both looked back at the spirit.

"It sounds like you have a strong bond," Mira said a bit too loudly, making sure Melonie would hear. "One that won't break so easily."

Chase seemed confused by her tone. "She never mentioned you two before. How did you know her?"

"Again, we only met her recently," Gadalik answered honestly. "She seemed nice."

"She was. And she was witty and confident and willing to try new things."

"Are we talking about the same person?" Mira muttered to her boyfriend.

Gadalik gave her a warning glare.

Melonie came forward, turning visible. "Chase, I… I'm here."

The man nearly fell down in shock. "Mel? Is it really you?"

"The one and only," she laughed, although Gadalik could tell she was faking it.

"How long have you been here?"

"That's…not important. But since we're both here, let's try something new together."

"Oh–of course!"

The two left together and the spooks exchanged a glance. "Is it me, or did she just pull a one-eighty in terms of personality?" Mira remarked.

"Yeah…" Something tells me this isn't going to end well for them, the older teen thought.

"Come on, let's enjoy the rest of the day."

They set up a picnic and chatted about spook's work for a little while. Then they lied down and watched the clouds pass overhead.

"This is nice," Mira said. "If I could pause life at this moment and take a picture, I'd treasure it forever."

Gadalik felt truly relaxed, and happy to hear that. "Thanks for earlier… Making me face the crowd. I'm not completely over it, but I think I should try more to get used to it."

"They aren't so much fears as they are sensory overloads, I think," Mira said.

"Sensory overloads?" He couldn't help recalling the time when he'd gone to the mall with Gretel, and had gotten completely overwhelmed by the crowd and his ghost sense after she had left him to go in the fitting room. Was that what it was?

"Yeah. There isn't much you can do about that, aside from what you've already figured out: finding something to focus on. I feel like we're opposites. I can't handle silence, or being alone, for long periods of time. I need the stimulation or I get listless. I have to train, or do something in the meantime."

He remembered her practicing with her kusarigama on the day they met, and on their most recent job.

"I think I understand. As hard as crowds are for me to handle, being alone is just as bad. I had to clean or organize things to distract myself from thinking about…bad stuff."

"Bad stuff…?" She faced him curiously.

He turned away. She won't let it go unless I tell her, huh…? "Feelings of…being useless. Feeling like I have to earn my keep, to…justify my existence."

There was silence for a moment. "You've got some serious issues," Mira stated as a matter of fact. Then he felt her hand over his and they both rolled over to face each other. "Nobody exists on purpose, so life doesn't really need a purpose to justify existing. People love you, Gadalik. I do. If anything, that alone should be a reason to keep going."

She slowly moved closer to him, and he felt his heart skip a beat with panic.

Just then they heard a familiar voice shouting from a distance.

"I wasn't lying!" Melonie cried.

"Then why are you acting so afraid of me?" Chase responded with frustration.

The teens got up and headed for the noise. "What's going on?" Mira intervened.

"She isn't happy being with me," Chase explained.

"That isn't true!" Melonie argued.

"What other explanation could there be?"

"Chase, what makes you think she's unhappy?" Gadalik asked.

"She's a nervous wreck under that confident facade she put on. If I'd known she wasn't comfortable around me, then I wouldn't have agreed to meet up with her in the first place."

"It's not you," Melonie said. "It's me… I've always been a mess in social situations… At least when we write, I have the time to think of witty remarks or gather the courage to try new things. But in person, it doesn't work that way. I tried…to fake it, for the sake of our relationship. But I can't keep it up…"

"I would've understood if you had just told me that in the first place… But instead, you decided to lie to me."

"Chase, I'm sorry…"

"Forget it. I just need some space." He walked off.

Melonie gave the spooks a sorrowful look before turning invisible and floating back to the water fountain.

"Sheesh. I knew she should've just been herself," Mira said. "If you have to lie to make your partner happy, things are bound to fail."

Gadalik fell silent at that.

"Something wrong?"

He drew in a breath. It's not faking it if it'll eventually be real…right?

"Gadalik?"

"N-no…. It's fine."