Fall slipped into winter, and with it, Lucia, Wyatt, and Lucas moved in again. Sonja mainly stayed in Grandpa Evans' room, so there was no shuffling of rooms around.
Sonja had grown up, and her first birthday was approaching. Adam's was also coming up. We planned for everyone to celebrate Caelis together. This was going to be a proper Caelis. I knew there was no way my grandmother would be dropping by, and without the looming threat of Gavin, it would be peaceful.
I wore my long hair loose, and the curls obeyed, thanks to Lucia's gentle hand. I was tempted to wear a blue or black dress, but the red tent from the previous year danced around in my head. My family's colors were red and gold. Not the winter blues or the Goddess Caelistis' silver and black-blue colors.
I settled for a pink dress lined with yellow. I was an off-brand Phoenix witch. I giggled at the inside joke my outfit meant. It was true to my lineage but also respectful to the Goddess the world was celebrating this night.
"You wore pink last year as well," Adam said.
I looked down at this dress. It was a different dress but still pink. "I guess I did it unconsciously last year," I said.
"How so?" Adam said, leaning over to whisper into my ear. We were in Mary's car driving over. I tried to ignore how much I loved his voice so that I could answer.
"My family's colors are red and gold. One shouldn't wear red to a winter goddess' celebration. Still, I can't wear her colors because of my family's patron Goddess' colors." I hiccuped at the slip-up but locked our gazes instead of avoiding Adam's eyes. He knew I was a witch, so this wouldn't be too out of the box.
"What happens if you wear those colors?" Adam said.
"I don't think anything does. It's disrespecting my family's Goddess for another's…or I'm overthinking it." I said with a nervous laugh. Maybe I was being foolish? No, my grandmother changed the color of the tent last Caelis for a reason.
As if he was thinking the same thing, Adam said, "The red tent from last year was red with a gold bird."
"My grandmother did that, or at least her magic did. I'm not entirely sure how that happened." I said.
"Another mystery," Adam said. "Don't worry about it now."
He was right; no sense in doing so, but my brain was already wondering.
Caelis was a lot more fun this year. The scents of snow, people, and burning herbs were so distinct to the event that it made me smile. People were more wary this time around. However, the 'bad omen' from last year was quickly forgotten as the alcohol started filling cups.
"Degenerates," Wyatt said, and I laughed with him as we people watched. With some of their inhibitions gone, the adults were acting slightly wilder.
"Let's go," Adam said. He grabbed my hand and led me away from our group. We wandered stalls as I waited for the perfect moment to give Adam his birthday gift. Again, he was here to celebrate it with us, and I wondered why he wasn't home. He hadn't mentioned his sister or the rest of his family in a while. But he looked more tired and spent any moment he could, even with me, studying. His workload increased, but he came to spend time with me when he could. If I started worrying or asking questions, he might be troubled again. This was supposed to be a day of fun.
So I silenced my brain and followed Adam through the throng of people. We wound up near an old willow tree. Silver lanterns hung from its branches. There were also pieces of paper tied, and we watched as people tied more.
"That's not a willow tree, is it?" I said, marveling at the amount of paper the tree was holding.
"It's a wishing tree," Adam said. "What's a willow tree?"
"It's a tree that looks like that, but instead of paper, there would be leaves," I said idly as I walked up to the tree. I set down Adam's gift so we wouldn't have to break contact and used my now free hand to touch the bark. I could feel a strange energy coming off the tree. I couldn't poke it mentally and inexplicably found myself drawn to it.
I jerked my hand away seconds later with a hiss. Adam grasped this hand in seconds, and his cool touch was a comfort.
"What happened?" He said, still examining my hand.
"I was rejected," I said, gazing at the tree. This tree was old. Older than any other I'd come across in this world so far. Even trees a few hundred years ago responded to me positively. How could this tree push back at me and burn my hand? It had to be ancient. Maybe older than everything in this world.
A world tree?
"What tree?" Adam said, and I inwardly cursed my silly habit of speaking thoughts out loud.
"Nothing. Just strange. I haven't come across anything that could…"
"Burn you with a touch?" Adam said, wrapping a silk handkerchief around my damaged hand.
"A world tree, is that a witch thing?" Adam said when he seemed satisfied with his handiwork.
"A multiple-world thing. A world tree is a mythical being that supersedes all life in any given world. It has a symbolic form in a world that showcases the vitality of the world. It grows from a world seed that blooms into a world…but how is that possible?" I said as I studied the tree. This was a world within a book. Could my guilty pleasure book be a world book? World books were books that were actually linked to real worlds. That meant that this wasn't just a…
I could feel a headache forming. I just told myself I wouldn't overthink things, and yet here I was.
"No one else has trouble touching the tree," Adam said, and both of us observed as people came and left to tie slips of paper on the tree.
"I think it just reacted to me because I tried to do more than just touch it," I said. "It must be the oldest tree in town. It's impossible to be a world tree." I was just overthinking.
"Do you want to tie a wish to it?" Adam said. He was way too easygoing with my random blurbs of information, but looking up at him, I didn't mind. Better than him to start avoiding me as a crazy woman.
Both of us split up a bit to write down our wishes. Like all wish lore, you couldn't share what you wanted, or it wouldn't come true. I wanted to know what Adam wrote, but in mine, I wrote that I wanted to be with him forever. I signed it Gwendolyn' Wendy Evans' Girru, and enclosed my words with my family sigil. I was more Wendy than Gwendolyn by now, but if words have power, let my actual name grant whatever good luck it could to make it come true. After I folded it, I again drew my family's symbol, but this time on the outside for good measure. I kissed it for extra extra measure, then twisted it while saying a quick spell to bless it into being.
"If you don't tie it, it won't come true," Adam said, and we both glanced at my injured hand.
"It should be fine. That was probably just a warning. It is impossible for it to be a world tree. But maybe it's just picked up the energy from all the wishes over the year." I said, looking at the tree that looked normal. There was a sign that I missed before that explained how long wishes had been hung on its branches. It was just a strange tree. I didn't dare connect with the tree mentally or physically to avoid being warned severely again.
We both worried for naught because, without further incident, we tied our wishes to the tree.
"Adam," I said, noting that he was staring at the tree strangely now. He turned away from it to look at me, and I held out his gift. It was in a bag, and it was obviously his birthday gift, given what day it was today.
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He accepted it, and I did a little wiggle filled with nervous energy as he started pulling things out. First, was the card I had thoughtfully written that none of you reading need to know.
I had gifted him one of the watches I managed to get from the acquisition room. It was black, sleek, and very expensive looking. The gold engravings had a company logo that didn't exist in this world. Wrapped around the watch was a handkerchief. I always remembered my promise to make him a better one.
I stitched pink lemon blossoms on the corner of the white handkerchief. Adam was etched in brown and resembled branches. There were even little green leaves along the hard lines. I'd gotten a lot better with Lucia and Mary's help.
"Happy birthday, Adam," I said, avoiding his gaze as he took out my gifts. I was feeling nervous about his reaction.
"Thank you, Wendy," Adam said, and I heard an emotion I didn't recognize in his voice.
I looked up from the ground, and our eyes met. "Help me put it on?" Adam said.
I don't think he really needed help, but I smiled, happy to help. His skin was cool to the touch, and I took the chance to admire him as I did this.
When I finished and looked up to see Adam's reaction to wearing the watch, I noticed his face beside mine. Kissing distance. I flushed at this development. It had been months since both of us said we liked each other. Aside from the normal hand-holding, nothing else had really changed.
"Wendy, if you don't want me to kiss you, say something now," Adam said. His words were a mere breath on my face.
My lips trembled at his directness, and I stopped myself barely from biting them, knowing there was no way I could reject him.
Adam pressed his lips to mine in the next heartbeat. It was chaste, but my breath was still caught in my chest. My first kiss!
The rest of the night was a blur. I know I made it home safely because I found myself in my bed. Lucia was in my room with me as we had a mini sleepover. Her brother and Wyatt were somewhere.
"So you and Adam," Lucia said, and I stopped reminiscing on the kiss to look at her. She sat on my window seat, brushing her hair and admiring my lemon trees.
I wanted to say something, but instead, I just grinned.
Lucia's smile grew, "I had a feeling but wasn't sure. I was worried you liked Wyatt because he likes you." She said, and I swallowed the laugh that wanted to rip out of me at the absurdity of that pairing.
Lucia's and Adam's observations, however, stopped me. Why did both of them think that? Wyatt and I made no sense.
"That would be impossible," I said, rolling in my bed as I tried to retain the feeling of my first kiss. Monkey Boy was not going to ruin this!
"Why? Wyatt is so open with you and playful… he'd never treat me that way." Lucia said, and I stopped rolling to take a look at her. She had shifted herself to face the window. Unknown to her, I could see her reflection in the window pane. She looked embarrassed, nervous, and hurt.
I waved my hand and tried to summon a carefree laugh that wouldn't create further pain. If a girl was around Adam, I'd be less gentle than Lucia…but I'd still feel hurt.
"Wyatt is gentle to you because you're someone to protect and cherish. He sees you as a girl. Wyatt sees me as an annoying sister." I said, flapping my hand one last time as I laid my head down. "If anything towards me, he feels a sense of…" I paused and thought about the way he looked at me. It wasn't with admiration or love…
"Of what!" Lucia all but shouted, and my lip quirked in response.
"Duty. He acts like he owes me something, which is weird." I said. "My only conclusion is letting you guys on the farm, but I don't think his feelings for me are that strong. He doesn't like me like that." At all.
Lucia's face turned red, and I watched, entertained, as she gave a jerky nod and then ran to turn off the light. She lay down in the bed next to me.
"I like Wyatt." She said her voice was as quiet as a butterfly's wings.
"I had a feeling," I said, trying to quiet my voice but failing. I wanted to tell her I thought he felt the same but couldn't be sure. Everyone seemed to think he liked me. What if I was misreading this and in the wrong?
We held hands and whispered well into the night. It was mostly girly notions, wishes, and hopes for our future with the boys we like.
The new year came and went without much fanfare. Caelis was the way to honor the Goddess and usher in a bright new year, so most adults slept the festivities off the next day.
With no bad omens to start the new year, I fully expected another year to go by smoothly. Instead, the new year started with a bad dream. I fell asleep clutching Lucia's hands but woke up in my brother's study. I wasn't alone. Gus was there working hard as usual. He had yet to notice me like so many times before; why should a dream be any different?
The sound of quill and paper was strangely comforting, as was the scent of old books, ink, and the faint aroma of coffee.
"Did you forget the deadline?" Gus said. He didn't even bother looking up when he spoke. His quill never stopped moving, and I rolled my eyes.
This was a nightmare, not just a typical dream, right? I owed Gus some assignment; he was haunting me in my dreams now. I looked down at my right hand; Adam's handkerchief and my space ring were on it. A clear sign I wasn't truly back home at the Library. I wouldn't have Wendy's hands.
"It's good you've come by to talk," Gus said.
I flopped on his lush leather sofa, fully expecting Gus to keep rambling on while I ignored him. He did, and I ignored him as I flipped through a book he had on the coffee table. It was rather strange, and its cover reminded me of the box Effaced. The book's cover shimmered, and I grabbed it by the corner and shook it. I don't know what I expected to fall out of it, but nothing did.
"Gwendolyn." A rather sharp voice snapped me to attention, and I set the book down guilty. Gus was looking at me, and he looked, no. I shook off that thought before it could fully form. There was no way my fuddy brother would actually be concerned about me.
"Augustus," I said, mimicking his voice. I can be serious, too, brother overlord.
"The world is going to end, Gwendolyn. I hope you've spent your time wisely since you've decided to stay." Gus said, and I hiccuped. Oh shit, he was worried that I forgot about the world ending. It hadn't completely slipped my mind but wasn't as pressing as before.
Why did I choose that type of world to find love?
"Spend the rest of your time wisely, Gwendolyn. You only have a few years left." Gus said, but his attention was back on whatever he was writing. I waited for him to say something, anything else, but he had already dismissed me in his mind. Cold and unemotional Augustus Girru.
I could feel my eyelids shutter. He was never going to care about me, was he? I was misguided by the hope he would be worried about me. What kind of brother acted like that if he thought his sister could die? Even if it was just a fictional world…he should care, right?
Before I could say something snarky, however, I woke up. It was dark outside, and with a heavy heart, I avoided waking up Lucia to do the morning chores.
The homestead was pretty self-sufficient, so I had nothing to do but wait, even with the deadline looming. The daily task of slipping what I could into the space for storage was going great. The livestock was great. The house was great. The overall setup was great. All I had were check marks next to things I planned.
I guess the one thing I was never going to be able to check off was a brother who cared about me. Maybe it was my fault we couldn't get along. I wasn't the nicest, and I'd done nothing but make fun of him…but he was my brother, and not once had he made an effort. If I acted out, he would at least make a face and turn towards me. Without that, all I had was his closed study door and unseeing eyes.
And now, maybe it wouldn't matter. He dropped me off in this world, and it would end soon. I hope that was just a dream…and that he hadn't summoned me to say goodbye like that. Why hadn't he pulled me out if it was so simple for him to do that? Even if this was a conduit, shouldn't he care about me to some degree?
Days passed in a blur as I accepted that my reality sucks.
"Kitten for your thoughts?" Wyatt said, drawing my attention. He was holding up something that did not resemble a kitten.
"All the kittens are grown," I said, rolling over to avoid looking at him.
He was the only one here today. Lucia and Lucas left to go over to Mary's. I tried to reassure Lucia as she left, but she looked worried that Wyatt and I would be alone. We weren't completely alone. Grandpa Evans had wandered off with Sonja for a picnic. He really didn't want to share the growing kid, and as she got bigger, I could see why. She was precious and looked like Grandma Carol. Also, Nips was lounging in Wyatt's lap. The betrayer of hearts.
"Wyatt, do you have a crush on me?" I said, turning over to eyeball him. I had to know once and for all. That way, I can more confidently tell Lucia and Adam no.
Wyatt's fake smile grew, and I watched, horrified, as he shrugged and set the cat down. "If I said yes?"
I threw grass at his face, and he laughed as he shook it off. Instead of throwing any of it back, he stuck a blade of grass in his mouth and made some sounds with it. Nips moved his head to chew on the fallen pieces, and the two looked identically foolish.
"I'm serious. I've been told twice that people think so." No time to beat around the bush, Wyatt. I gave him a stern look as I went on, "Yes or no."
"My feelings run deeper than a simple yes or no." Wyatt used his blade of grass to tickle Nips' nose.
I gave him a look. He was lying. "It's straightforward; don't make it more complicated than it needs to be." I scolded him.
"I guess you can say I have a sense of…duty," Wyatt said, drawing out that last word.
I hiccuped with shock. Oh shit, he totally heard our conversation that night. "How did you hear that?"
Wyatt tapped his ears. Could his sense of hearing be that strong? How was that possible? No, when it came to Lucia, Wyatt was a downright stalker.
"I do think of you like a little sister," Wyatt said with a smile that gave away nothing. Why was he being so cryptic with his feelings? He'd come a long way from that strange boy in my library for the first time, but moments like this reminded me how much of an enigma Wyatt truly was.
"But you're in love with Lucia, right?" I said, feeling smug that I had it all right. There was nothing he could tell me to convince me otherwise.
Wyatt closed his eyes, and no matter how I prodded him, he refused to answer. Okay, keep your secrets, monkey boy.
Weeks passed with the same old same old happening. Before I knew it, Lucia and Lucas's birthday had come up. But before we could celebrate it together, tragedy struck. The church had decided to send Lucia, Wyatt, and Lucas to Alcom's Cove. The fishery up there needed help, and the church seemed inclined to send out orphans to handle things.
Adam also disappeared because his father wanted to send him to a private school.
Sonja was grabbed by Sunny, who came down to get her daughter and disappeared into the night.
And Grandpa Evans died from the heartbreak. All of this happened in about the span of a year.
I spent the next two years in darkness.