"Look at this!" Wyatt said. I turned to see that he was holding up a creepy-looking stuffed moose, and I made a face. He set it back down with a laugh at my expense before browsing some more.

We were out of the home today and doing what we could to distance ourselves from Sunny. We had the perfect chance to run to the town square because the winter celebration of Caelis was going down.

Caelis was the long-awaited celebration of the harvest after a long year. It was also supposed to represent the moon Goddess Caelestis' rise to power. Winter and fall were her seasons, but she fully came into her power as the night and wintry moon goddess when the first hint of snow came.

On our way to the town square, I learned much about the three Gods this world celebrated. Grandma Carol never taught Wendy any of it, preferring even more pagan thinking. My family magic might have a hand to do with that. Grandma Carol and the rest of the Evans clan were alone in their backward beliefs. This world was strangely united in what they believed, and they believed in Caelestis, Aphra, and Acuzio.

Aphra was the Goddess of spring and rebirth, and Azuzio was the God of summer and fire. The three were siblings, but it was clear that Caelestis was the most powerful. Unlike the other two, she had two seasons.

Strangely, their names sounded familiar, but I didn't read them in the original book. I chalked that up to the numerous books I've read. I likely saw them somewhere else, so it struck me as familiar. I didn't have much time then to fully realize why because we had arrived at the town square. Bill was kind enough to drop us off, so Lucia pulled me around, trying to find a gift to thank him. Unlike us, he didn't get time to play around. He was heading back to the family farm to bring more produce for his mom to sell. Everyone loves Mary's cooking, which she took advantage of during this time.

I left Lucia to handle Wyatt expertly and passed out some free vitamins and other things I had crafted. If you've read this far into my diary, you should remember Kyle. He's the little bugger who called me a grandma after getting free shit. I had slunk off after this exchange to pout when I heard my name.

My real name.

"Gwendolyn." The low voice whispered again, and I followed it. I managed to slip in between and around the thick, cheerful crowds until I found a suspiciously dark blue-clothed tent. A silver moon that shone and sparkled was the star and center. I lifted the flap and peered inside my nerves.

"Gwendolyn." An older woman I'd recognize anywhere greeted me. She was wearing the dark red robes of a phoenix priestess. The robe shimmered as if it was spun with gold. Growing up, I'd always been afraid to touch or smear it with my grubby hands, but at this moment, I threw myself into her arms and cared not for my snout.

"Grandma!" I said as I hugged her fiercely as I sobbed with relief. She patted my head, and it was with reluctance that I pulled away to look at her.

"Gwendolyn." She said as she patiently wiped away my tears with the sleeve of her robe. I watched transfixed as the robe remained dry and stain-free. I should have known it was magicked all these years. What a waste!

"What are you doing here?" My grandma eyed me as she bluntly asked me this.

I blinked, knowing that admitting I couldn't get out of this world was proving what a waste of a witch I was. Even though it was the truth, I didn't want to say that. "I have friends here," I said as I lowered my gaze to my hands. It wasn't technically a lie but was not the complete tale.

"It's natural for our kind to spend time in books like this, but you can't make a habit of staying for too long. You can fall into a trap many readers do where you can't escape. Our kind experiences the story in even greater depth, and too often, it's harder to get free." My grandma was scanning me as she said this. I could see her weighing the option to pull me out and end my time here.

I opened my mouth and was speechless for the first time in a long time. Not that long ago, all I wanted was to leave this world. I have Grandpa Evans and friends now, though. My forest, pets, livestock, and many others rely on me. I had created a life for myself with my two hands.

And there was Adam. I hadn't spoken to him in over a month, but he was still essential to my life here. "Are you going to pull me out?" My mouth was dry as I asked this. I didn't have the bluster and bravado I usually employed to deal with the world. This was my grandma. The matron of the family, the reigning high priestess, and the most powerful entity I have ever known. I know where my bread is buttered. I couldn't demand anything from her.

She sighed, and this somewhat human action lifted my eyes to meet hers. For the first time in my life, my grandma looked tired. There were wrinkles where there was smooth skin once, and a strange emotion in her gaze. "Is everything okay at home?" I asked without thinking.

My grandma's eyes crinkled at the corners before she cupped my left cheek. "Everything is fine, and you don't have to leave if you don't want to. I just want to warn you of the dangers of living in a book."

I gulped and found myself looking away. My typical icy grandmother was downright emotional right now. She usually was a cross of cruelly stern and loving that was more gracefully done than any book villain.

"I can give you time to say goodbye to your friends." My grandma's words once again drew my gaze to her.

See it wasn't really an option, she expected me to go with her.

I stepped towards the tent's exit and lifted the flap. Every part of me screamed, desiring to tell her I wanted to stay. If I left now, I wouldn't even have a chance to say goodbye to…Adam.

I found my voice and turned to look at my grandma, "What happens when I leave?" I said. It was something I had never really considered. "Gus' spell allowed death to be a way, but when I leave leave, what happens?"

"Everything that was created by our family's magic disappears. The Unruly forest, Evan's home, the people created in the family, and even the memory of you. Wendy is your conduit Gus created for you in this world. She wouldn't exist without you. What's left is a complete reset to undo our influence and connections in this world." My grandma's matter-of-fact voice made my heart pang at the weight of her words. When I officially leave, everything that is Wendy will go as well. I should be gleeful that my assumption that she was created by our magic for me to play a role…but all I felt was hollowed out by the despair that nothing I did or the connections I made were real.

Sometimes it really sucked to be a reader. Sharp pain in my heart threatened my balance as I used everything I had to stand still.

"This is put into the spellwork used to weave the magic because of situations where worlds were irrevocably changed. I lost my sister to such a world because she didn't want to leave." My grandma's words floated above my head as I stood there, reeling from her previous assertions.

I didn't want them to forget me. I didn't want to leave. And yet, even as I stood there trying to open my mouth to tell my grandma no for the first time in my life, I froze. I didn't have the courage. I didn't even know she lost a sister.

Seeing how speechless I was, my grandma gently pushed me out of the tent, "Say your goodbyes so we can go."

I turned to look back at her and noted that the tent had changed from midnight blue to a striking red. A gold symbol of a flaming bird replaced the silvery crescent from before. It shone like a beacon among the dark blues and silvers that every other tent and stall had.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

The beacon to lead me home.

I dragged my feet as I looked around, fighting back tears. I didn't have to look far. Lucia, Wyatt, and Lucas ate crescent cookies at Mary's stall. She was serving them piping hot cocoa with whipped cream. It was the picture-perfect scene of a commercial.

I lost my courage to go forth and tell them goodbye. My feet were as heavy as cement, and I stopped.

It could be worse. If no one remembers me, then they won't have to miss me. But what about the weirdness of the church? Would Mary have met them if it hadn't been for me? Where would they be this winter if not at our home?

I bit my lip as I turned to run away. Moments like this seemed so easy when you were reading a story. How simple it was to yell at the characters in a story to do the right thing.

What is the right thing to do in this moment? What choice was I supposed to make? How could I figure out what the right thing to do is?

Do I stay in this world I've grown to love with the people I found or return to my real family? If I pick the first one, will I be reopening my grandma's wounds? My mind swirled with these complex thoughts until I found myself in front of the red tent.

If I went in now, I could go home, and it wouldn't matter if I didn't say goodbye to my friends.

Grandpa Evans wasn't real.

This thought hurt to even think, let alone confront. Grandpa Evans opened up so much these days, and not only did he smile occasionally, but he was speaking in complete sentences. If I didn't have him to strive for, there's no way I would have put the home together so fast. I wanted to take care of him and myself.

But he wasn't real. None of this was real. This whole world wasn't meant for me. Which is why no one would remember me.

Not even Adam. I wish I could see if he was okay before I left. With so many family emergencies, something had to be very wrong, but he never had the chance to honestly explain. I was going to miss him the most out of everyone. After all, he was my first friend. I wish I could have said goodbye…

I lifted a hand to open the tent as I steadied myself and used my other hand to impatiently swipe the tears that spilled down my cheeks.

"Wendy?" An all too familiar voice had me dropping my hand and blinking away tears. Standing a few feet as if my heart had summoned him stood Adam.

"Adam? How…are you here?" I hurriedly tried to dry my face, but it was too late.

"What happened?" He strode over and placed himself in front of me. Effectively blocking me from entering the tent without moving past him.

"Nothing." I stammered, confused at this turn of events. Tonight was going the exact opposite of what I thought it would. First, my grandma and now Adam were making an appearance.

Adam used a silk handkerchief to wipe my cheeks and then my soggy hand. He said nothing while he did this, and I took this time to examine him. He was in casual wear again this time. Dark blue jeans with a black wool coat. His brown hair was loose, and a smile came to my lips as I watched it move with his every movement. Would this have happened without me? My smile disappeared. If Adam doesn't remember me…

"I'm sorry for taking so long to return to Green's Mountain. My sister gets sick easily. I've been trying to get along with her. We didn't have a chance to before." Adam smiled wanly as his warm brown eyes locked with my own.

A warning nagged in the back of my mind like a cockroach. It was a persistent bug of thought, and I mercilessly squashed it. I didn't need to follow it down a rabbit hole when I already had enough worries on my plate at that very moment.

"How did you know Caelis was happening tonight? Did you come to look for…" Me? I stopped myself short of saying this. Why was I so cowardly in front of Adam right now? I felt vulnerable and exposed. That feeling made me want to burrow in a ditch.

"You." Adam finished my sentence as he scanned my face. "I came to see you. What happened to you, Wendy?" He didn't ask; he just stared at me, his orbs seeing everything.

I opened my mouth but closed it as my eyes looked to the side. I already spilled the beans about leaving this world. It wouldn't be too stretch to tell him I was going. Technically, he wouldn't even remember, so it wouldn't be a big deal. I gathered my courage and lifted my eyes to meet his own. Upon meeting his gaze, I lost my courage. I could feel it crumble like a soggy milk-soaked cookie. Before it completely fell back into the pit of my stomach, I grabbed Adam's hand.

A heartbeat passed, but before I could start our goodbyes, the little shit kid from before crashed into us. Adam's grip steadied me, but the offender slammed into the ground as Adam moved us out of the way.

"Kyle, watch where you're going, or no more free samples!" I scolded the bugger, using annoyance to cover up my fear and embarrassment.

The shit made a face at me. One of his friends who had been chasing him helped him up. "Kyle, you know her?"

Kyle scoffed, shook his head, and said. "I don't know her." My heart stopped at his words.

My grandma's words flitted before my mind, and my mouth went dry. Was it already starting? Panicked, I looked at Adam, but he was furrowing his brow at the two shits.

"Only grannies know grannies," Kyle said with a chortle before running with his friends.

My still heart began to pound. I clearly had over-thought it. The interruption only paused the needed conversation. At that moment, I thought of how having Adam say that to me would feel. Or how I would think if he did the same to me. I don't want to go. I don't want to say goodbye. I took a breath, steadied my nerves, and pasted a smile on my lips.

"It's your birthday," I said to Adam. I had a gift for him, but it was at the house.

"Caelis is always extra special to me," Adam said as he returned his gaze to me.

"I…I need to do something in this tent real quick." I said. "Wait for me?" Adam let go of my hand as he nodded, and I held my breath as I entered the tent.

My grandmother was standing in the same position as before. Like a statue, she towered over me. Was she even breathing? Before I could check, my grandmother inhaled sharply and breathed openly.

"I'm not really here. This is a conduit of my power." My grandmother said that by way of explanation. "When you're older, you can learn how to do this efficiently to conserve magic."

Sidetracked, I could feel my brain rushing, "So it's like a remote-controlled golem?"

My grandma made an exasperated expression before shifting her face into the 'look.' I reflexively straightened my back and got her message to knock it off.

"Grandma…I want to stay." The words came out of me with great difficulty, but I did it!

My tiny spark of joy was crushed under the weight of my grandmother's steely gaze. This expression is where Gus got it from. Maybe one day I can embody it, but today, I felt overwhelmed by its display.

"Are you sure?" My grandmother's words held a note of anguish in them but also pride.

I mutely nodded my head, unable to push my voice out again.

"I had hoped for a different answer." I stiffened at her words, but she continued, and warmth infused my chest, "But I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns. You know the risks, so I won't stop you from staying in this world." My grandmother stepped forward and grabbed me into a surprisingly tight hug, and I held on just as tight.

"Blessed be Gwendolyn, and be safe. You're not alone in this world." Her words held a strange, strangled connotation.

"Blessed be Grandma." I smiled through my happy tears. Stupid and oblivious me said though I would soon learn, "I'm not alone; I have an amazing group of friends."

My grandma opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, she flickered once, twice, and like an old TV, faded to black as she disappeared from my sight. Her dazzling red robe didn't have time to catch up, for it remained in the air as if her shoulders were still there. I watched, transfixed as it caught up to reality and started to fall. I grabbed it, marveling at the lingering warmth from my grandmother in its silk.

I attempted to slip the robe into my space, but like the weird Effaced thing, it wouldn't go in. The two things were different and unique and had magic from my world. Why wouldn't they go into the ring then? It carried over things from the acquisition room that was ripped into being by magic! There must be another reason.

I didn't want to walk around the moon goddess' festival wearing a blazing, fiery gold robe. I laughed at the pickle I was in as I exited the tent. Adam was leaning against the entrance with a complicated expression.

I looked at what he was looking at. It was a beautiful blonde, and a pair of familiar suited men were at her side.

"Is that your sister?" I asked. I hadn't met her yet and looked at Adam, who wasn't pleased.

"She was supposed to be resting at home. I wanted to spend time today here with you." Adam ran a hand through his hair, and I ignored the happiness of his words.

"Well, she's your sister; of course, she wants to spend your birthday together." Wait, the last time I asked him her name, he hadn't had a chance to tell me. "What's her name? You didn't tell me last time."

The ground began to shake, and I could feel my stomach plummet again. Why was tonight so chaotic?! I was too stunned to move; Adam reacted first and covered my head with his body. The shaky ground only lasted seconds, but the chaos was undeniable. Cries and panic erupted around us.

"Are you okay?" Adam asked me, and I snorted.

"I should be asking you that," I said, tweaking his nose. We pulled apart, and I watched him habitually sort his clothing. "Thank you for saving me again." Too much had happened for me to promptly thank him before.

"Wendy!" Lucia came over, and soon, Adam and I were separated. He needed to help his sister go home, and I needed to help Mary's stall.

Caelis ended with an actual bang that many took as an ill omen for the upcoming year. What little hope I had that the red tent would go unnoticed was to no avail. The God of summer was blamed, and the following sacrifices to appease him started a heated debate.

None of this had anything to do with me, so I ignored the adults to help clean up the physical, not the spiritual mess.

It wasn't until I was lying in bed that night that I realized yet again I hadn't learned the name of Adam's sister. I wasn't a bad friend! I was trying, but it hadn't worked out yet. I'd try again when I gave him his birthday present.