When Gilbert arrived for his appointment, something felt different to his therapist. The man wasn’t wearing a suit, but instead was more casual as he strode in wearing a pair of kakis and a white dress shirt that was absent a tie, had the top two buttons open, and had the sleeves rolled up. He seemed very pleasant as well as he strolled over to the couch and took his spot and just sat back with a huge sigh. He looked like a man that was no longer carrying the world on his shoulders and Gil looked so much better than the many times he had come through this door for prior sessions. Jefferson couldn’t help but thing that unburdening himself of his secret in their last meeting was the source of his relief, so the therapist was eager to see of his theory was indeed correct or if something else was causing this euphoria for Gilbert.
“You looked rested,” Jefferson observed, “Less stressed than I can remember you ever being since we started meeting.”
“What can I say?” Gil asked as he sighed again, “After we talked last week, I just felt so unburdened after telling you my big secret. The fact that there is one less person or place where I don’t have to act differently and just be myself is such a relief. For the first time in years, I can be myself here and not have to worry about getting caught or being ratted out. It makes me that much more eager to come down here and see you. I realize we still have to act serious and work on our issues, but the fact that I can be one hundred percent honest with you from here out allows me to make a better effort since I no longer have to hide anything from you.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Jefferson said, “Because the more honest we can be with one another, the more progress we can make. So, let’s start off with something simple; how is the family doing?”
“Which one?” Gil replied with a sly grin.
“Walked right into that one, didn’t I?” Jefferson said, as he even laughed at bit since Gil was messing with him.
“I don’t get to say that,” Gil admitted, “Always wanted to.”
“I get it,” Jefferson said, “Technically when I ask that I am referring to both, since they’re all your family. I can assume that you care about both wives, and all your children equally so they are all a part of your extended family.”
“True,” Gil agreed, “But I might want to keep things separate so you know which family I’m referring to whenever I speak about them.”
“You mean like first family, and second family?” Jefferson asked.
“That could work for now,” Gil said, “Until we can come up with something better, alright?”
“Sounds fair,” Jefferson agreed, “So how is the first family doing?”
“They’re doing alright,” Gil said, smiling at the thought. “They’re all in high school and making good grades.
“And the second family, are they in school too?” Jefferson asked.
“They are, but only in elementary.” Gil answered, “Feels weird to be going to everything all over again, such as kindergarten and the early grades again.”
“Is that a bad thing, like old reruns?” Jefferson inquired.
“Quite the opposite,” Gil said, “Having new kids and doing this over again feels new and refreshing. I forget how much I missed walking kids to school and picking them up. It reminds me of the first family and when I did it for them and how I missed it and was happy to do it again.”
“So, interacting with the new kids,” Jefferson said, “reminds you of times past with your previous family? That’s very interesting.”
“They're so similar in many ways,” Gil said, “I often see those similarities but am unable to even mention it. The burden of secrets.”
“Secrets can be unhealthy,” Jefferson explained, “I sometimes compare keeping secrets to an active volcano. If you don’t release any pressure, it will keep building until you erupt. When that happens, then anyone around you could get hurt and you can’t control who gets hit in the crossfire.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“Never really thought of it that way,” Gil said, as he seemed rather intrigued by the metaphor.
“Have you ever had any close encounters?” Jefferson inquired, “A moment where both of your families almost bumped into one another?”
“No,” Gil answered rather quickly. “And I work very hard to make sure that never happens.”
“How so?” Jefferson asked, rather curious about that answer.
“I have trackers installed on everyone’s phones,” Gil answered, “So I know where everyone is at any given time. I even had a tech that I trust program an app for me that sets off an alarm if anyone gets to close to one another. So far that’s never happened cause they’re both in different states, but I’ll know if that kind of near miss ever happens.”
“Wow, I had no idea you could trace people like that,” Jefferson said, “I have more than a few clients who would find that rather disturbing. Do you think your kids or wives would like it if they knew you were monitoring them like this?”
“I don’t monitor them,” Gil corrected, “I never look at the thing. The only time I ever would is if the alarm went off.”
“Oh, I guess that doesn’t sound so bad.” Jefferson said, “Some parents like to know where their kid is at all times.”
“I’m tempted to check, but I often fight the urge off.” Gil reassured him, “But if a school calls me asking why someone is absent, it’s nice to know I can track them and find out what’s going on.”
“Not a bad idea,” Jefferson said, taking a note to look into it himself. “I’m just wondering if your kids or spouses would be as understanding.”
“Probably not,” Gil conceded, “But I do it for peace of mind.”
“How close do they have to get for the alarm to go off?” Jefferson asked.
“One mile,” Gil answered, “That’s about as close as I want anyone to get. They’re supposed to be states apart, and my biggest fear is everyone finding out what I have going on.”
“Is that really your biggest fear?” Jefferson asked, “Being discovered, or what happens after that discovery?”
“I supposed you’re right,” Gil said, thinking about it. “My greatest fear would be losing everything I have and getting divorced. I would miss everyone so much, and I don’t want to be alone.”
“That’s interesting,” Jefferson said, taking note. “When was the last time that happened?”
“When what happened?” Gil asked.
“When you were alone,” Jefferson answered, “All by yourself. How long has it been since you were on your own for a decent amount of time?”
“I’m not sure,” Gil said, pondering the inquiry. “I’d say when I was twenty-three, just after I graduated from university.”
“What did you do after university?” Jefferson asked.
“I took a job overseas,” Gil answered, “I traveled to Asia, and taught English as a second language for a few years.”
“You did that on your own?” Jefferson asked, “Just moved to a new place with no one else?”
“Yeah, I did.” Gil said, thinking nothing of it. “I used to travel on my own all the time, to places where I didn’t know a soul and made out just fine.”
“That’s good to hear,” Jefferson said, “That kind of solitude can be torturous for some people, and I thought being alone might do that for you, but this appears to contradict that.”
“I used to be okay alone,” Gil confirmed, “But since I had kids, the idea of not seeing them or spending time just feels so different, so quiet.”
“I see,” Jefferson continued, “So this fear of being alone isn’t because you can’t do it, it’s because you don’t want to be away from your children.”
“I will have to let them go some time,” Gil admitted, “But hopefully not too soon. They need to stop growing.”
“They never will, I’m afraid.” Jefferson said, “Time comes for us all.”
Both men sat there and thought over it for a few minutes, as their current session was a little deeper than expected. Finally, it was Gil who made the first motion as he stood up and started to pace around. Eventually he flung up his hands to make a statement.
“I’m not afraid to lose them,” Gil said, I’m just afraid I’ll lose everyone at once and get hit with it all in one foul swoop. Sand-bagged with the whole thing, and that I won’t be able to handle it; losing everyone at once.”
“I see you’ve thought about this a lot,” Jefferson said, trying not to make light of what was just revealed. “Maybe you need to make a plan of what you can do if such a tragic event were to occur.”
“What kind of plans?” Gil asked, rather curious himself.
“Like if you got kicked out of both houses,” Jefferson asked, “Where would you sleep that night?”
“Good question,” Gil said, pondering it. “I guess I could crash with a pal or my brother, just long enough to get another place.”
“Or you could set a place up now,” Jefferson said, “Prepare for the worst while hoping that nothing happens.”
“Who would live there when I’m not?” Gil asked.
“Get someone to squat,” Jefferson said, “A friend or a neutral roomie.”
“Not a bad idea,” Gil said, “I’ll have to think about it.”
“I don’t want the worst to happen,” Jefferson added, “But failing to plan is planning to fail. This is the best way to minimize the fall if it ever happens.”
“I got it, but let’s talk about something else,” Gil said, checking his watch. “We have a little time to cover what’s happening at work.”
Jefferson leaned forward, “What’s going on at work?”