When Gilbert arrived he looked rather agitated, and even a little flustered. Jefferson noted this as Gil walked into the room and took a seat on the couch in his usual spot. The man’s knees were even shaking a bit as he huffed out loud as he sat his ass down. The man was even a little jittery as he even jumped a bit as Jefferson sat down in his own chair across from him. He also appeared to be sweating a bit, to the point where Jefferson was tempted to take the man’s temperature and make sure he wasn’t feeling ill. Jefferson sat there waiting for his patient to start things, but Gil didn’t seem that eager to chat which forced Jefferson to get the ball rolling. He wasn’t used to doing that with Gil, but there was a first time for everything.
“Gil,” Jefferson said, as just mentioning his name made him jump. “You seem very agitated. Has something happened that we need to discuss?”
“It’s my phone,” Gil said, his voice stuttering a bit. “The alarm went off a few days ago, and it really shook me up.”
“Oh no,” Jefferson said, as he remembered what that meant. “Someone from one of your other families was within a mile of you when you were spending time with the other?”
“It couldn’t have happened at a worse time!” Gil added, “I was in the middle of a restaurant with my wife and kids, and the alarm starting blaring at me right after our entrees arrived!”
“Oh my,” Jefferson said, as he was listening intently. “What did you respond to it?”
“Not well,” Gil answered, as he felt ashamed. “I acted like a damn fool and even freaked out. I was running around the place like a chicken with its head cut off.”
“What was going on?” Jefferson inquired, “Which family member was so close that your alarm went off?”
“That’s the funny part,” Gil replied, “No one.”
“No one?” Jefferson repeated.
“It was a false alarm,” Gil said, shrugging his shoulders. “There was a bug in the system, and it caused my alarm to go off even though not a single member of my family was even in the same state.”
“And for no reason at all, you made a damn fool of yourself,” Jefferson said as he started to understand why Gil was so shaken that day. The doctor was pretty sure his patient had been this way ever since the incident occurred.
“I feel so embarrassed,” Gil added, as he looked almost about to cry.
“I can see why you’re feeling this way,” Jefferson said, as he was clearly concerned about Gil’s state of mind. It’s one thing to have an alarm go off, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t the reaction his client assumed he would take whenever that alarm went off.
“Was this the first time that alarm ever went off?” Jefferson asked.
“Yes,” Gil answered, “I’ve tested the system a few times, but this was the very first time it just went off without me knowing about it. By the way I reacted, you would have thought someone hit me with a cattle prod.”
“How did the family react to your response?” Jefferson asked, “I’m sure they were quite surprised by what had happened that night.”
“That’s an understatement,” Gil replied, “They were petrified.”
“Next time you might want to put it on vibrate,” Jefferson suggested, “Or you should have tested it a few times to get used to hearing it. It sounds like this is a case of not being prepared for the alarm.”
“I suppose,” Gil conceded, “I’m a busy guy… so I never really took the time to test it and assumed it would never go off.”
“But it did go off,” Jefferson reminded him, “And your reaction was less than what was desired. This was like that errant cell phone mishap in Hawaii where people were told a missile attack was coming. People lost their shit and went totally crazy when the warning came.”
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“So, you’re telling me I reacted the same way?” Gil asked.
“Pretty much,” Jefferson agreed, “You were like the people who were tossing kids in the sewers, totally losing your shit. Anyone who saw you doing that had to be a little disturbed by it, and you did this in public!”
“Damn,” Gil said, as he was finally realizing how bad it really was. “What should I have done instead?”
“The next time that damn thing goes off,” Jefferson started, “The last thing you do is look at the phone. Do not touch it.”
“Really?” Gil asked, “Why?”
“The first thing you should do,” Jefferson continued, “Is politely remove yourself from wherever you are and find somewhere private to go. Once you are alone and not being seen by anyone, you take the phone out and review the alarm. That way you have a moment to collect yourself before responding to what is actually happening.”
“Okay, that makes sense,” Gil responded, thinking about it. “So, what I should have done at that restaurant was excuse myself from the table, and maybe… go to the bathroom?”
“Yes!” Jefferson approved, “Find a stall, sit down, and calmly check the app to see what was going on. That would have been the right thing to do. That way if someone was very close to you, being isolated would protect you from being spotted if it wasn’t a false alarm. Freaking out in public would have drawn someone closer to you and made things worse if it wasn’t a false alarm.”
“I never thought of that,” Gil said, as he felt even more embarrassed.
“This brings us to the bigger problem,” Jefferson said, as he leaned in closer to his patient, “This being the issue of your polygamy. You can’t live this way if this is how you’re going to react to anyone coming close to exposing what you have going on here. I get that you love these families and want to be there for them, but this is going to drive you crazy if you act this way. This is going to cost you your sanity, and even your families if you don’t hold things together.”
“I’m not sure what can do,” Gil said, looking frustrated, “Even if I wanted to get out of this mess, how the hell do I do it?”
“That is the sixty-thousand dollar question,” Jefferson said, as he sat back onto his chair to think about it. “You might been to cut ties with one of them and then hope the other family doesn’t leave you.”
“I can’t pick between them,” Gil admitted, “I love them both!”
“If you don’t pick,” Jefferson countered, “You’ll lose both families!”
“But that hardly seems fair!” Gil protested, “I can’t pick! I love them both and it would crush me to lose any of them!”
“I’m sorry Gil,” Jefferson said, not accepting any compromise, “Picking both is not an option. You can only pick one or you get none… period!”
“This is fair!” Gil cried out, clearly frustrated.
“And whose fault is that?” Jefferson asked him, “Who is the guy that chose to marry a second woman and live a secret life? You didn’t slip on a banana peel and accidentally marry someone else! You chose this, Gil! This is your fucking bed… now lie in it!”
“Excuse me?” Gil said, stunned by what he just heard.
“You heard me!” Jefferson replied, “This is a mess if your own choosing, and now you have to live with the consequences that come with those choices. This may not be fair, Gil, but this is how life works.”
“What if I refuse to choose?” Gil asked.
“Then the choice will be made for you,” Jefferson answered.
“By whom?” Gil asked, “You?”
“No,” Jefferson replied, “By karma, and from what I’ve heard… she can be a real bitch.”
After making that statement, both man sat there for at least five minutes and said nothing during that time. Jefferson was tempted to ask something, to see where Gil’s head was at, but he was content to let the silence speak for him as that last line seemed to really hit home with his patient. Fate has its own way of making things known. Secrets never last forever, and his were not immune. One day someone will figure things out, and if Gil doesn’t rip that band-aid off himself, he might not like how things roll downhill after his secrets are exposed to the light. Not one fucking bit.
“I’m sorry, Gil,” Jefferson said, finally breaking the silence, “I don’t mean to be so adversarial, but you need a little pushing here to do what’s needed and I think deep down you know I’m right.”
“Yeah, I do,” Gil conceded, “But I don’t have to like it.”
“No, you do not,” Jefferson concurred, “What I’m proposing sucks, but the alternative sucks infinitely worse… that much I can guarantee.”
“This whole thing sucks,” Gil said, his anger showing.
“It does,” Jefferson agreed, “But it will suck more if you don’t make a choice and try to get our of this with at least one family intact.”
“I need time to think about this,” Gil concluded.
“Yes!” Jefferson concurred, “Take the week to think about, and come to me next week with your thoughts and maybe a decision if you come to one.”
“Don’t push your luck,” Gil said, not eager to do either.
“Fair enough,” Jefferson said, “But at least show me some progress next time and we can talk about it and see where things go.”
“Alright,” Gil said, “I’ll try to think about my options.”
“That’s all I ask,” Jefferson said, smiling back. “We need to get you out of this mess, so you won’t need an alarm to warn you of anything. That’s no way to live life, Gil. You deserve better.”
“I appreciate that,” Gil said, feeling a bit better. “I’ll think it over.”
“That’s all I ask,” Jefferson repeated, “And I’ll see you next week.”