DAY SIX

May I become at all times, both now and forever,

A protector for those without protection,

A guide for those who have lost their way,

A ship for those with oceans to cross,

A sanctuary for those in danger,

A lamp for those in the dark,

And a servant to all those in need.

As long as living beings exist,

and suffering afflicts them,

May I too abide to dispel the misery of the world.

May I be a guard for those who need protection,

A guide for those on the path,

A boat, a raft, a bridge for those who wish to cross the flood.

May I be a lamp in the darkness,

A resting place for the weary,

A healing medicine for all who are sick,

A vase of plenty, a tree of miracles;

And for the boundless multitudes of living beings,

May I bring sustenance and awakening,

Enduring like the earth and sky

Until all beings are freed from sorrow,

And all are awakened.

Shantideva’s Prayer

21

THE BOOK OF BRIGHTNESS

TUESDAY 22 DECEMBER 2012 - 03H03

MAIDEN

My twelve-year-old body had never known such exhaustion, but sleep was elusive. I crept out with no intention of running away. I just needed fresh air, and I thought the walk to the point would help.

Will was already there. “So what are you going to do with all that?” He searched for the word. “Vengeance,” he said finally. I turned to face him in the dark.

His ninja attention used to make me feel scrutinised. Now it made me feel safe. I took a deep breath and tried to let my feelings pass through me like a breeze, but they were stuck inside me, threatening to pull tornado stunts.

As if seeing him for the first time, I noticed he was not hot Will from the game, but I blushed anyway because the truth was, he knew how I was feeling, and for as long as he was my Anam Cara, he would always know what I was feeling. I could see the myriad of problems this could present.

“The Dragon,” I started, “the one that keeps trying to kill us.”

Will nodded, “I’m familiar.”

“I think he was there the night my dad died.” The silver glow of my code brightened as my feelings intensified and the physiology of my Frist Casing responded.“Eleanor never talks about it. When I was old enough to ask questions, Gran and Fikile told me it was a robbery gone wrong.”

“I’m so sorry, dude.” He waited before asking, “What makes you think the Dragon was there?”

“It was my first Passage when Blue started training me. It's been eating away at me the whole time. Blue calls it 'my Shadow'." I gave Will a moment to process this while I took a moment too.

“Regan,” Will put his hand on my arm. “I don’t think vengeance is the answer. I know it’s hard to make sense of things like fighting fire with fire, but I think you can do better.”

“Is that something your Dad would say?” I asked.

“Probably, but I think it’s true.”

Truth flowed around us like waves around the rocks. This did not help me. We didn’t need any more problems to solve right now. On this, we agreed. Will and I prayed silently to the Divine Mother that the Dragon would not find us here. The last thing we needed was that guy showing up here to hurt Tata or Fikile. We had to find him before he found us.

***

I lay in bed listening to the ceaseless whispering outside my bedroom door.

The normalcy was short-lived as my train of thought hurtled towards the night my dad died. I felt Blue coming and got off the train to Anxiety Alley to greet him.“Morning, Blue.” I would never again complain about his spontaneous appearances.

“Good morning, Arche,” he said quietly from the bottom of the bed.

“What now?” I asked.

“You have three days to Coalesce and choose your Assumption.”

“I have a choice?” His composure never changed, no matter how agitated mine was.

“Of course.” One hand always cupped the other, knuckles to the ground, palms to his heart. I could see the power running through that closed circuit.

“She can’t sleep alllll daaaaaaaaay,” Amber whined in a fake whisper on the other side of the door.

"She's not sleeping. She just needs some space. From you!" Will worked hard to suppress Amber’s desperate enthusiasm outside my door.

“One always has a choice,” Blue held my gaze. His blue eyes were always safe.

“What happens if I don’t want to?”

“Then someone else will.” He shrugged.

We watched the sun, high in the sky, glinting off the ocean. It was hot, and the sea air brought her kiss to my forehead. “This Book of Brightness,” I said. “What is it? I squinted up at Blue as the sun shifted and reflected through him. “The Scarab was looking for it inside my mind.” While he appeared to be as solid as me, on closer inspection, Blue was the light. I wish I had the tools and the time to study his composition. “Oh for heaven’s sake, come in!” I snapped. The whispering at the door had gotten louder and louder. Will cracked the door open and said, “Sorry, I tried.”

Amber tumbled in, followed by a sheepish Lu and an exasperated Fikile.

“Regan,” whispered Lu, “Your colours!” Amber was not interested in my ‘colours’. She fired questions faster than we could answer them. “Is it true that the Scarab is a woman? Is it true that Seth stopped the virus? Is it true that Will's imaginary friend is back?"

I sighed and shooed them out of my room so I could at least face my inquisitor with the dignity of some clothes. The Arche of the Ten Known Realms could not spend another day in her Darth Vadar pyjamas.

***

“Little Bird,” Fikile informed me, “the funeral will be here on Thursday.” I glanced over at Tata. He shrugged. “Tata and I are very busy today, so make yourselves useful or scarce.” We opted for scarce. As far as we could tell, Fikile was unaware of the goings on in our realm, but Eleanor had left a lot on Fikile’s plate, so.

After I ate more than I'd ever eaten in my life, out of genuine hunger, an entirely new sensation I was embracing, Fikile ushered us out. “Out, out, out, into the fresh air!” I lead the way. I felt Will's moment of questioning, and then he chose to trust me - specifically, to trust that I would not fall.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“So what’s the Scarab’s beef?” Amber demanded as she brought up the rear. I genuinely missed her. I missed being around an intelligent girl that was not psycho or a forgetful Anum Cara. My heart ached for Seth.

What about life after Arche? Would I have PTSD? Would I be accused of delusions because grown-ups lose their wonder and fight about science and religion? Would I end up living under a bridge due to the schizophrenia diagnosis? Would I end up hooked on heroin or worse? My code raced. I felt Will's steadying hand on my back. "Hey," he said. "Breathe."

I did. And I did not fall. “Long story short,” I began, “the Scarab was once one of the Nine Greek Muses, Calliope. She was devastated by a broken heart."

“What a cliche?" gushed Amber.

"Yeah," I said. "So instead of inspiring people to do lovely things, she inspires them to do awful things."

"Like controlling the dissemination of information with algorithms designed to hijack and control minds through the mass narrative,” added Will.

“Because if you control the narrative, you control the people,” finished Amber. “Gosh!” She paused with her hands on her hips. “Mom says the very clever ones got it right. Sugar, pesticides and smoking before cancer and emphysema got too obvious.”

“Your parents seem to be above-average adults,” I said approvingly. Would it be weird if I switched from Dr Klein to Mrs Peaceman, I wondered?

“Easy to say when they’re not your parents,” mumbled Will. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and wiped the back of his sweating neck. My code did a little glimmer at the memory of 'hot Will'. I thanked the Divine Mother that my T-shirt was black. Will was not the only one sweating for reasons including but not limited to it being hot.

Amber and Lu busied themselves with putting a blanket down and unpacking the snacks. “So the Scarab wants to be Queen of the internet?” asked Amber.

“She helped build it," I explained. I sat down and started applying sunblock liberally. "It’s causing some sort of a quantum highway between realms.”

“Like the bridge between Asgard and Middle Earth,” offered Will.

“You mean Midgard. Middle Earth is Lord of the Rings.” I corrected.

“Yup, yup, you are right,” he agreed.

“What are the Kleepoth again, other than gross?” asked Amber, also applying sunblock over her freckled face.

“The Kleepoth are the result of a fully hacked soul,” I said. “Dead flesh, rotting flesh, in fact,” I added for emphasis.

“Zombies,” said Will. We shuddered at our shared recollection. Amber and Lu grimaced.

“But where are their souls now?” asked Lu, his eyes vast pools of empathy. Like Tata, he never wasted words

“We don’t know, do we Blue?” I asked. Blue beamed into the conversation.

“We suspect they are being held in a domain somewhere.” He said heavily.

“We have to find them!” said Amber and Lu in unison. A butterfly flitted onto Lu’s shoulder, and several little birds played a joyous tune in the mangrove trees above him. It dawned on Will and I that Lu had guides, plural. The Phusis were with him all the time. Lu could go anywhere he wanted via Pathways on the spinning rock we call home because all the green things were his friends.

Artemis took a protective stance as tears slid down Amber's cheeks. Lu reached out and squeezed her hand. They were the best of friends. My heart swelled, not just for them, but for me. I knew why the Arche needed an Anam Cara.

My first mission as Arche was clear. “We'll set them free,” I said. "I promise."

MOTHER

Bring, bring! Bring, bring! Bring, bring! Bring, bring! Bring, bring! Bring, bring! I found the old yellow phone you dialled with your fingers inside a cupboard in the kitchen. Frankly, it was a miracle that the thing worked.

“Speak,” I said.

There was a long pause before, “Reegs?”

My blood ran cold. The phone clicked neatly back into its cradle.

“Who was that?” asked Thando, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard the phone ring here at all.” He laughed, “Like ever. In my life!”

I did not laugh. Thando put the coffee down, drew me away from the phone and sat me down at the table. “Regan,” he said gently, “Who was that?”

“Mother Dearest,” I said.

MAIDEN

“Little Bird,” Tata called from the top of the dune. He held Gran’s old Nokia out to me. “It’s your mother.” I blinked several times. Eleanor never called to speak to me. Fikile handled everything all the time. “Little Bird!” snapped Tata. I nearly lost my footing but bounced back quickly.

“Nice come back!” grinned Will. Pleased, I struggled up the dune. I looked at the phone before putting it to my ear. Frankly, I was surprised it still worked. I was only slightly out of breath when I said, “Hello?”

“Why aren’t you wearing your wearable, and what are you doing at the beach?” She paused. “You hate it down there.”

I didn’t get to answer.

“Regan, listen very carefully. Have you opened Athena's gift yet?” I watched Lu chase Amber down the beach. She laughed and squealed with delight.

“No,” I said, shaking my head absently. Gran's gift was still under my bed. The wind blew my hair into my mouth, and I turned in a circle trying to figure out which way to turn to spit it back out. “Why?”

“Well, don’t!” she snapped, not answering my question. My code leapt. I ended the call and watched Amber and Lu turn cartwheels. Will had been on his way to swim, but he turned sharply back up the beach and headed towards me.

“Who wants to open the rest of my birthday presents? And eat cake!” I yelled. Tata's smile widened as I caught a glimmer of his golden sheath beneath his shirt.

MOTHER

Thando didn’t try to fix me. “What can I do for you?” He asked tenderly. “Do you need to be alone? Or would you like fresh Coffee?”

“I think she is going to need me,” I said.

“Your mother?” He asked.

“Ha ha! No,” I laughed, “not that crazy, bitch!” I closed my eyes and took a breath.

“Regan,” I said. “My mother abandoned me years ago. I’m okay with that. But she isn’t. Not yet.” My right hand crept to my heart. My left landed on my womb. I felt a pang. I was still on my bleed and had been going to squat outside, letting my blood run freely. I needed to do that now. The last thing I ever wanted to do again was bullshit anyone, especially myself. “I need to be alone, please,” I said, smiling at his concerned face.

He nodded willingly and gathered himself. “You got it,” He kissed me on the cheek. Then paused. “Come back and make you dinner?”

“Duh,” I said and blew him a kiss.

MADIEN

I worked the knot of the gold bow, which was an actual ribbon and not plastic. This took far too much time for Amber. “Jeez, Louise! Don’t you have some time-travelling superpower?” she whined. Will responded with a sharp kick under the table.

The box held a dark brown leather folder. It looked old and official. But there was something else underneath it. A collective “wow' occurred as I set the folder aside. The book inside the box looked ancient and magical. I lifted it very gently and laid it down on the table. The silence was thick with anticipation. My oscillations quickened, and several butterflies fluttered in through the kitchen door. Amber, was delighted, and Lu greeted each one with a wiggle of his fingers.

Tata reached for the book and beat its heavy leather cover with the palm of his hand, causing everyone to jump with fright.

“So not the Book of Brightness then?” I asked.

Tata guffawed, “Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!” Slapping his hand on the kitchen table, causing another collective jump with fright. “This?” he said. Fikile frowned in an amused but interested way and asked, “What’s the Book of Brightness?”

“I’ve never seen it,” Tata shrugged. He and Lu shared a knowing smile.

“See-ers in our lineage pass the Utterances down by singing or sharing them as stories,” explained Lu.

“Stories!” gushed Amber. “Everybody loves stories!” She oozed as if expecting to be told one. Lu propped his head on his hands, and Fikile leaned in too. Tata obliged, “Be here with me now.” he said. He shifted his gaze to Amber and repeated, “Be here with me now.” Then he fixed his eyes on me.

Something clicked into place as we tuned in. My code danced just below the surface of my skin, hidden from Fikile.

“The Book of Brightness,” said Tata conspiratorially, "is what lives and breathes in the hearts of the Beloved,” He paused and looked each of us in the eyes. “You are the Beloved,” he said, jabbing his finger like a spear into our hearts. “Only when it’s written on your heart can it be found in your book,” said Tata.

He looked deep into our being. “There are too many stupid voices on the outside,” He nodded, tapping his temple, and then looked pointedly at the old Nokia. “And not enough smart ones on the inside.” Somehow he looked each of us in the eye all at once. “Listen for the truth with your heart,” He said, dropping his left hand to his chest. He beat it like a drum. “Listen with your heart and see with your spirit.” He pushed it to me and said, “She has left you her life’s work.” Everyone leaned forward. “See?”

It had an emblem on the cover, a golden circle with a grid or a web inside, and at the centre, a tree.

"A mandala!" Cooed Amber.

The tree's roots curved into the web. As the light caught it, it rippled continuously through the tree and the web, forever connected. I recognised some of the symbols in the circle from the sand. I’m pretty sure, those were the codes for all five Casings. Master the Casings, Master the Universe.

I suddenly felt naked. “May I be excused, Fikile,” I asked. I gathered the book up, which seemed like it might prove difficult, but I perceived a change in its mass to accommodate me. I was less worried about maintaining some secret superhero identity and more concerned with spending time with my Gran. There was much more to her than I ever imagined.

“Of course,” Fikile nodded and smiled warmly. “Enjoy, Little Bird.”

“What about this?” asked Amber. I turned back. She held up the leather folder. “Oh,” I said. I put the book down. The folder had a long strip of leather wound around it with a toggle in the centre. Amber sighed as I unwound it carefully. It was also old.

I scanned the first few pages and felt my eyes widen. “Gran has left me everything, the house and the trust?” I know it was a statement, but it came out as a question because it was unbelievable. I glanced down to read it right and asked, “What’s the Trust?”

“Tomorrow,” Tata said. He gathered his stick and hat. "Enkosi for the cake, Fikile. Little Bird, Keronmang, be ready early and bring a hat."

MOTHER

Thando left me under the moon with my old wound and my fresh blood. I looked to Sophia and Ala for wisdom and comfort. Ever faithful, they came, but they did not come alone. Her blue rings preceded her.

She squatted with me in the sand, her old brown bones surprisingly willing for her apparent years and puffed on her thin cigarette. Puff-puff-pull. “It’s not for Eleanor’s benefit, you know.” She exhaled and set the blue smoke free from the cage of her lungs. “The release,” she sighed. I listened while I watched my blood. “It’s for you.” She pointed to something just off to my left. “And that.” I glanced over my shoulder. My face did a thing that caused her to cackle like a witch, “You should have seen it a week ago!”

My shadow writhed in discomfort, a turbulent grey cloud of stuff and nonsense. Puff-puff-pull. I had to do more than cut Eleanor out of my life. I had to make peace with her too. The sisters balmed my heart and prepared me for the call I would make on the yellow landline. Then I would cut the cord.

MAIDEN

Gran had written me a note on the inside of the front cover, in ink black as night.

Regan,

if you are reading this, I'm dead, and the Book has found you!

We are proud of you, Little Bird.

Now study up! You have lots to learn!

Much love and Multiple dimensions, Gran!

I took a deep breath and felt a small tear trickle down my cheek. I made sure that Will knew that I was okay, then I settled into the crochet cushions Gran made me, and I read.

There was timelessness.