Tantalus blinked several more times but was unable to dispel the defect in his vision. He could determine roughly if something was in front of him, but he could not make out the object’s shape or color. After a few more seconds, Tantalus’s brain cleared enough for him to remember that he was in the middle of training a platoon-sized unit of amateur soldiers. He stood up straight, rolled his shoulders back, and stared ahead with the intensity expected of someone in his situation. Tantalus looked at the blob he was pretty certain was FullDan.
“Nice work there, Dan,” Tantalus said loud enough for everyone to hear, an easy smile on his face. “I see that the removal of the pain limiters hasn’t slowed you down one bit.”
“I can say the same for you, Commander,” FullDan said. Imperceptibly, Tantalus sighed in relief. He was talking to the right blob. “In terms of skill, you’re clearly better. I just won because I’m stronger."
“A win’s a win,” Tantalus smiled. He started scanning the group of shifting blobs on the horizon as he said, “Now, I want all of you to take something away from that fight. I don’t expect all of you to be expert fighters today, but I do want you to see and understand the way a fight is supposed to look. Approach a fight with the right amount of intensity and willingness to harm, and you’re already half-way to being an expert fighter. That is the lesson I wanted to teach you in that fight. That is the lesson I was willing to suffer a concussion for.” Tantalus paused for a moment as there was a smattering of subdued laughter throughout the crowd. They sounded worried, Tantalus thought. He must have looked worse than he thought. “So, get back to sparring. Oh yeah; I’d like to talk to Redgrave for a second.”
Based on the sound, Tantalus could tell that the crowd had returned to sparring. He put his hands in his pockets and pretended to watch the fighting until he sensed a large individual get close to him.
“Hey T, I heard you wanted to talk to me?” Redgrave inquired.
“Redgrave, I forgot to mention that you’re my second in command,” Tantalus said loud enough to be overheard, patting Redgrave on the shoulder. Now close enough, Tantalus whispered quiet enough for no one to overhear him, “I can’t see. Walk over to somewhere without many people so that we can talk privately.”
“You…” Redgrave exclaimed before realizing he was speaking too loudly. “You can’t see? What do you mean?”
“I mean to say that Dan must’ve knocked something loose in my head,” Tantalus muttered. “I can tell if a person is standing in front of me, but I can’t make out any of their features. Just start walking. I’ll be able to follow you as long as you don’t get too far ahead.”
Redgrave began walking with Tantalus close behind. He wanted to look at the other Revenants and see how they were doing with their sparring, but he was far too preoccupied with keeping track of Redgrave’s blob. Tantalus was certain that he would lose track of Redgrave if he looked away for even a second.
After about a minute, Redgrave walked through a doorway into some kind of structure. That must be the barracks, Tantalus thought. They took a few more steps before Redgrave stopped and turned to Tantalus.
“You know that was pretty stupid, right?” Redgrave chided. “You two are trained killers. It’s only natural that one of you was seriously injured.”
“You’re right, you’re right,” Tantalus admitted. “I think I’m letting this whole Captain of the West Gate thing get to my head.” Tantalus paused and looked nostalgic before he said, “You know, at my first meeting with the Scions, Kingfisher got into a fist fight with InfiniteRecursion to show us what violence is supposed to look like. The difference is,” Tantalus closed his eyes in pain, “the pain nullifiers were still on back then.”
“Why did you ask to talk to me?” Redgrave asked. “Is there anything you need me to do?”
“Yeah,” Tantalus said, trying to remember through the pain. “In twenty minutes, I want you to start teaching them the basics of gun safety. Keep your finger off the trigger, never point the gun at something you aren’t ready to destroy, make sure the gun is unloaded, all that jazz.
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“Oh yeah,” Tantalus continued, “and add one more thing. Tell them: only draw your gun if you’re ready to kill your target. Make them aware that guns are fundamentally lethal weapons. You can’t reliably use a gun to disable a target without killing it. At least, not at their skill level.”
“Got it,” Redgrave said. “What do I say if they ask where you are?”
“Tell them the truth,” Tantalus said, “barring the temporary blindness. I got my bell rung by FullDan, and I had to take a break.”
“Yes, sir,” Redgrave said. “Do you need me to lead you to your office?”
“No, I’ll be able to get there on my own,” Tantalus smiled. “Now get back out there, adjutant.” Redgrave soon followed Tantalus’s command and left the barracks.
Now alone, Tantalus closed his eyes hard to alleviate the pain and leaned his head against the barracks wall. He had suffered from migraines as Vincent Blackwell, and the pain he now felt in his head was comparable to the pain he would experience at the height of a particularly bad one. He wanted to go into a dark room and hide under a blanket for twelve hours.
In fact, a big part of Tantalus wanted to completely give up on being in the Osirian military. Fighting in Ferrum was so much more dangerous than fighting in Ninth Oasis. When he got hit, it hurt. When he got shot in the gut, he felt like he would die. When he got hit in the head, he lost his vision.
Now, thousands of people expected him not only to fight but to lead as well. Did any of them know who he really was? Who Vincent Blackwell really was? He was just a loser who had spent the past decade playing video games because the real world terrified him. Ninth Oasis gave him the skill to kill the Deluvians, but you could not train to gain the will to fight. Why? Why was he still fighting?
Just then, the image of Enzo’s dead body filled Tantalus’s thoughts. Oh. He saw the dozens of corpses of real men and women who had believed in him. For whatever reason, they believed that their Commander would allow them to beat the game and kill GM. He remembered Enzo’s last words, “Kill GM.”
Tantalus suddenly felt as though he was being watched. It was as if the spirits of those who had died were watching him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry and curl up into a ball. Instead, he grabbed his forehead with his palm and said, “Calm down, you’re just tired.”
Tantalus willed his menu to show itself. Luckily, the items on the menu weren’t blurry. He checked his character sheet.
Character Sheet
Name Tantalus45 Level 9 Blood Points 75/110 Mana Points 25/25 Race Revenant Fortitude 11 Strength 11 Dexterity 15 Wisdom 12
Attribute Modifiers: Strength Training (1), Mana Training (5)
Everything was the same except for his Blood Points. They were stuck at seventy-five out of a hundred. As he watched, the seventy-five ticked down to seventy-four. He had already used thirty-six of his Blood Points to heal the damage to his face and brain. Tantalus figured that damage to such a small part of his body would not require the use of so much blood. When he had been shot in the gut, he had only had to use ten Blood Points. Perhaps the complexity of the organ damaged played a part in how much blood was needed to heal it. His Rapid Healing should have already healed the damage. The fact that his ability was still working told him that damage to the brain was somehow different from damage to other parts of the body.
Tantalus guided himself to his office by pressing his hand to one wall. He went up the stairs, reminding himself that his office was the third on the left. He found the door to his office and went in, the inviting smell of cigarette smoke assuring him that this was, in fact, his office.
Once he opened the door, however, Tantalus sensed a human-sized figure standing in the center of his office near his desk. Quick as a lightning strike, he unholstered his sidearm and held it at low ready.
“Identify yourself,” Tantalus snarled at the unknown figure standing in his office. Now would be the absolute worst time for a fight, but he was prepared to kill if necessary.