The weight on my shoulder seems a bit off. I raise my right arm and check my holster with my left hand, the action alarms Xiao immediately. Her right foot is slightly above the ground, her right hand is below her chin, and left hand has five fingers together. Ready to strike.
It's so strange seeing someone more stressed than me.
I ignored her and starts pulling my adjustment belt until the pistol is back where it was supposed to be. After it's done, I run a quick check-up on my items to make sure nothing was lost in the break room.
My phone and wallet were still in my back pocket, my pack of smoke and inhaler in my jacket's left inner pocket. A spare magazine for each of my guns is still on the slots. Both guns are still in place as the familiar weight reassures. And the matchbox from Ivan is in my jacket pocket. Next to a brass knuckle which is also a gift from Ivan.
I was about to check the knives too but decides not to when I noticed Xiao is still in the same position. Nan remains motionless. I sign.
"Rest easy now. Trust and honesty, right Nan?" I raise my eyebrow. Nan grins.
"Certainly, Mr.Lee."
"Which reminds me, how's it going with June? Making any progress while I'm away?" I lean against the elevator door and put on a grin myself too. Xiao lets her guard down a bit and makes nothing out of this topic.
"Slowly but surely, Mr.Lee. Slowly but surely." I catch Xiao rolling her eyes. "And...... I appreciate your blessings too." He says in a sarcastic tone.
"Least I can do. Oh. And a word of advice, stop taking her to that break room. She looks like a cat among starving hounds." Nan laughs and puts a hand on the wall to support himself.
"I wouldn't worry about that. I've known June for a while, she's braver than she looks."
The number on the display screen hits six. I'm greeted by the same dark storage room and green lights from the exit sign as the door opens. Nan and Xiao move in sync, stepping out of the elevator. I followed them to the emergency stairs.
"Truly, She even commanded me, with a stern impression, to put off my cigarette or she's going to call you guys in there to deal with me." Nan lets out a dry laugh.
"And did you comply?"
"Not really.......but then. She tries to scare me, with your name." I turned around and stare at Xiao. The green light momentarily shines on her face, showing an unflustered expression.
"I have a reputation." She says in a plain tone. Nan lets out a small hum. I see his grin disappears and his eyes dart at me before quickly returning back to normal.
Strange.
As we reach the top floor, Nan opens the camouflaged door for me. I noticed when Xiao passed by him, the two exchanged a look.
I take out my inhaler as we approach Qin Yen's room.
The meter by the side shows it's about to run out of substance, it can probably produce another puff with one push on the string. It's truly magnificent engineering, but there's a small flaw. I can't refill it without emptying the container first.
I push the string on top twice, the second time it stuck and lets out a squeaky sound. Guess that's all. I noticed Xiao's peaking at me with no effort in hiding it when I'm about to take a puff.
"Want a try?" I extended my palm to her. Nan watches Xiao with interest and a knowing smile on his face.
"What the hell is that?" Xiao frowns but it piqued her interests.
"Opium and marijuana," I say with a straight face. Nan seems suddenly very interested too. Xiao blinks twice when she hears my answer.
"No." I shrug and take a puff.
Thank goodness this is my last dose tonight. A dizzying feeling clouds my mind as I feel my head swelling like a balloon. One more puff will push me over the limit.
Using this thing requires a very careful allocation. It's meant to balance my emotions and control mood swings, I can take a puff when negative emotions such as depression, anger, sadness, loneliness got a hold of me. But only in those moments or in work-related scenarios. Or else I'll risk getting addicted. I know too well what will happen if you got controlled by them.
But I also know what happens when thoughts inside your mind control you. Both things can throw you into the abyss, normal people can go on with their lives without any of this. But 'normal people' is an in-danger species in Euforia. Everybody got their own problems to face. How they face it differs greatly, Viviane uses booze, Vera bottles it down without showing it, Miss Qin smokes, Ivan goes for a 'stress relief' on some poor guy that bumps him while walking pass. From my experience the more stoic and unshaken a person behaves, the harder they let themselves go secretly. Whatever works.
I just find the inhaler to be the fastest and easiest way to go.
For me, it's not the drugs that create addiction, it's your surroundings and all that comes with it.
***
Nan gives the door three short knocks and a long one before opening it. He gestures for me to wait outside like last time as he walks in.
"Shouldn't you go with him?" I say as I sit down on the bench again. Still uncomfortable as hell. They might as well move this to B2.
"Someone's got to keep an eye on you." She sits down next to me but kept a safe distance. She rests her elbow on the wooden handle, looking quite bored.
Not knowing what to do. I take out my pack of cig again.
"You can't smoke in here," Xiao says without looking at me. I stop my motions for a second, then shrug and take out two. Put both in my mouth. Xiao turn around looking annoyed by the sight. I take out the match stick and light both of them. She grunts and stands up.
I take a short puff, not breathing in the smoke but keeping them in my mouth so I don't get choked by it. I can feel some blood rushes to my eyes and it waters.
Right before Xiao is about to snatch my smoke again. I take one out, holding it with my thumb and middle finger. Extending my hand towards her, filter facing her side.
Her left hand was ready to strike with two fingers curled inwards. But my unexpected gesture stopped her. She looks at me and the cigarette between my fingers. Then looks around the hallway, her teeth biting her tongue.
She's staring at it with both desire and repel in her eyes like it's the First sin. In the end, she falls into temptation. Taking the cigarette from my hand she takes a long drag just like she did last time. Sitting down in the middle of the bench with her left arm behind the bench. She throws her head back with her eyes closed.
"A friend of mine always says to enjoy small moments like this while you can cause you never know when will be the next time...... though I'm pretty sure he's just finding excuses to skip work." Xiao gives me a smirk with her eyes closed. I take another puff. The smoke in my lung and the drugs I took makes me feel like everything's ok. Nothing is as fuck up or as complicated as it is in real life.
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
A few minutes later a light tingling between my hand pulls me back from the world where I don't exist. My smoke is about to burn out, as is Xiao's. I tilt my head to see if there's somewhere I can dispose of the end. Noticing the blue and white porcelain on the table about 5 meters away. Looks like the same one Xiao used as an ashtray earlier.
I roll cigarette butt between my thumb and middle finger. Feeling its weight. At this distance without wind or other hinders should be a piece of cake. But the narrow lip greatly risen the difficulty.
Xiao looks at me with a sly smile. She's holding her cig the same way. I inhale slowly like I'm about to pull a trigger. My middle finger moves back a bit so the nail is in contact with my smoke. Exhale.
Flicking it with my arm slightly extended towards the vase. A perfect parabola was drawn by the spinning cigarette end. As it hits the edge of the mouth, bounced back, and hits the opposite side, in the end, falls into the porcelain.
Hell yeah!
A thrill rushes through me for such a simple reason. Makes me believe for a second that I might be alright without all the drugs and sedatives. But then.
Xiao takes one last puff of her smoke and glances at me while leaning back. A malicious intent embodied by a cruel smile. Still looking at me, her left-hand darts towards the porcelain with the speed of a rattlesnake striking its prey.
Only when the cigarette butt shimmers as it makes an impact on the edge of the vase too did I realize what she did. Her cigarette end falls into the vase same as mine.
"......You missed. The carpet is on fire right now." I tried to sound serious and I'm control of myself........
But I fail to hide my desperation. Xiao looks like she's having the time of her life right now. Smiling widely like I never saw before. She needs this more than I do.
"The game is rigged. I bet you practice that every day." A victorious smile blooms on her face. She let out a laughter and the sound travels through the empty hallway before returning as echoes.
"Bear defeat with dignity, Mr.Lee." I can't believe I'm hearing this from her.
"Alright, alright.......but I'm charging you for that cigarette." She signs and leans back on the bench again.
"It's always money with you mercs."Hard to argue with that. "Aren't you about to get a handsome compensation?"
"For my work? I'm actually thinking about raising it again. Since there were some ........obstacles."
"Is that ......what drives you here? Gold and silver?"
I laugh.
Gold and silver can buy my hands and tongue, but not my soul.
But at the end of the day. Who cares what I think? They will keep seeing you as who you are to them. Not who you are to yourself........
Goddamnit. I shake my head trying to get these thoughts out of my head. That last hit might really be too much for me.
Focused! The night is not over yet.
I clinch the bridge of my nose and lie back. As for the Xiao next to me, she looks.......deep in thought.
***
He's a merc after all.
After Nan and Qin Yan decided on having him as the courier. She was furious. She had to ask Missy more than once to let her do it instead of some random mercenary on the street. At first, she thought it was Nan's idea. One night she confronted him but he denied it, saying his surprise too. That missy would choose a freelancer to do such an important job, let alone specify one.
Xiao would never question Missy's decisions, but she can't help but wonder why miss qin would do it. She thought about asking her directly but didn't because that's not what she does, or was taught to do. So she tries asking Nan again. But he had decided to trust Missy on this.
"As skeptical as this is. There's nothing we could do but trust her. And believe he will help Miss Qin achieve her goals." Those were his words.
When Missy first convinced her about her plan she never mentioned mercs and Russians will be involved. Xiao is still committed to her master but......exposing all those secrets to
their enemies is risky enough. Letting a mercenary carries it is just madness. Though piao jie doesn't do business with outsiders and the Qins have little to no interactions with mercs. During the many missions she carried out, Xiao has seen and killed plenty of those. She knows their type.
They are acquisitive, avaricious, chasing materialize desires by all means. They swear loyalty to no others but fortune. When a person has no goals in life but making money. They're nothing but slaves. Xiao used to be like that.
No.....worse than that. She didn't even have a goal.
But now is different, everything is different. She knows what she needs to do.
Xiao starts to gather intel on the merc when she's not needed by Missy's side. Returning to her old profession, she's disappointed with how normal everything feels. It's almost second nature of hers by now. Gathering information, pinpointing the target's daily routes, and choosing when and where they will least expect. It was all too familiar.
But it didn't go as she planned. Gathering information of this mercenary is a lot harder than she anticipated. This merc is very interconnected. But the stories about him are way too ridiculous and self-contradictory. After examining and filtering all of them, Xiao found a few certain facts.
He's deeply connected to the Russians, but not affiliated; he took work from all places in the city but mainly in the lanes; lastly, he lives in Nochnaya but disappeared recently. She found absolutely nothing except those. That's when Xiao starts taking Lee seriously.
Digging deeper she finds the merc is quite famous in the market. They called him the 'silver tongue devil' for his negotiation skills.
He seemed to spend a lot of time in the famous mercenary bar 'Stynx' before he disappears. Xiao considered snuck in but gave up the idea. Not because of the security but Nan. She saw him walk in there one night and the night after that and so on. That's when Xiao realizes she's not the only one after him. Missy had given the order to bring him here.
As days pass by, He waits inside, she waits across the street at night when she's off duty. Both are losing patience. Her informers in town have no info about where this guy is, and judging from Nan's frustrated look neither did his.
About two days before the merc returns, Nan stops visiting Stynx. That only further increases her suspicions that he found him. So she starts spending more time spying on the place.
Earlier tonight, when she's about to give up and return to jiu lou. She saw him. Black worn-out bomber jacket, average height, oriental looking, messy haircut. Those are some very common traits but three things made sure he's Xiao's target.
First, there's a gun in his jacket. Second is more of a feeling, he looks like a ghost draped with human skin. Wondering around the land of the living, hunting what hunted him. One look into his eyes and she can tell that he saw death, more than once. And there's something beneath, something else that made him like this but Xiao doesn't know. And frankly doesn't care, because. Third, he just walked down the stairs leading toward Stynx.
Following up immediately, Xiao's suspicion was right as the merc stops at the front of the bar Nan's been visiting. Xiao crouches on the stairs, pulling out her throwing knife strapped on her thigh. As the door opens, the giant Latino bouncer greets him.
Not yet.
4.5 meters. No spin throwing. Should be able to hit it within one-eighth spin.
The moment both of them least expected.
Index finger, thumb on the side. The butt of the knife where her palm and wrist connect.
When both of their visions are blocked......
Xiao folds her left forearm back. The black edge of the throwing knife against her face, She put a little pressure on it. Just enough that it won't cut into her cheeks. Feeling the sharpness sliding across her skin.
Never forget the sensation.
The moment came, as the merc take a step inside and the bouncer is facing his left. Targeting the merc's neck, Xiao relaxed her arm but tauten her hand. As she swings her arm forward, just before the releasing point. The merc suddenly dashes two steps forward and immediately turns around with his hand behind his waist.
Out of pure reflexes. Xiao returned to the shadow as soon as the opportunity is lost. With her back against the concrete wall. She hears the sound of the steel door closing.
How did he knew? She can't help but ask herself, how did the merc notice? She was very certain he didn't spot her before the second she was about to take his life.
What gave her away? The question clouds her mind as she climbs upstairs, returning back on the street again.
Doesn't matter. He will come out of the bar eventually, I could...
A man in tailored suit standing on leather shoes made her mind go blank all of a sudden. He stands at the entrance of the alleyway. The iconic grin is nowhere to be seen.
"Missy wants to see you," Nan says in a plain tone, taking no joy in catching her red-handed. Opening the backseat door to his car, Nan rests his left arm on it, and his right hand by his waist.......
She was scolded, for the first time since Xiao joins Qin Yan's wing. Xiao always sees her master as the deputation of rationality, perfection, and every characteristic a leader should have. More than that, she appreciates Miss Qin. Because for the first time, someone sees her more than a blade or a monster. She accepted her as a human being, not a weapon.
That's why Xiao storms out of her office when Miss Qin gave her orders to leave the merc alone. Xiao couldn't understand it. What is so special about him? From all she gathered he was just like other freelancers in the city, except he went missing for the past three months or so which made him more unreliable and suspicious.
Why risk everyone's life on him?
As Xiao opens the door to the hallway with all the anger and confusion a person's mind can bear. The first thing she sees as she steps into the hallway.
Is the merc smoking on a bench. And with an innocent look on his face. He asks in Chinese.
"Is this a non-smoking area?"
Nan's footsteps pull Xiao back to reality. As the double door opens next to the merc, she had composed herself again. The thought of facing Missy again after the fight makes her a bit reluctant to go back in.