Elain was going to watch me after school and be my new babysitter when my Dad would plan to go out in the evenings. Dad told me this during breakfast over soft-boiled eggs and toast.
That surprised me. “Really?”
“Yes,” he says as he took my dishes. “On certain days, Miss Ortiz will be picking you up from school, of course, it won’t be all the time. I’d hate for you to feel like I’m leaving you behind after school.”
“I know your not, work is important. It’s because of your work we live like this.”
“Indeed,” he says as finishes putting the dishes in the dishwasher before he kisses my cheek. “But if worse came to where I would drop it all for your safety, you will always come first.” He then stood. “Now then, go get your things,”
As I headed up the stairs I paused, my eyes glancing towards the basement. Recently, he’s been staying down there more often, though not surprising.
He’s done this before, as it gets closer, and closer to Christmas and my birthday. Even though my birthday was on November 11th. I came to learn quickly, that my dad likes to plan for it.
Every year, he’d do this, it was something that he enjoyed. He always seemed to be so happy when I was happy for my birthday.
Though he also would plan for dinner parties with those who worked with him, he hadn’t since Lauren’s disappearance and mom’s funeral.
I think he was planning something, though nothing looked to be determined yet.
Though he always seemed unmoved by his birthday, even though it was in the spring on April 3rd. A day that many would see as a good omen (or bad depending on the person) because his birthday was the day that Jesus died. At least that’s what the Nun told me at church when we went for Good Friday for the Choir. As to why some people saw that as a good omen when a poor nice man was killed for just being himself was something I wasn’t sure I would ever understand even as I grew older.
He never really talked all that much about it, but would be happy if I made him something for his birthday.
But besides that, my dad was always the kind of person to plan for things, no matter how big or how small. To him, the preparation of anything was just as important as trying to get ingredients for a new dish.
School, on the other hand, was something else altogether.
* * *
I noticed a change in Kaya, though she’d tell me nothing was wrong. I knew she was lying, ever since she had a run-in with Mia in the girls’ bathroom two weeks ago, Kaya had pulled away. I think she wanted to stop being my friend and started to hang out with Mia’s group of friends. Or maybe she was forced to? Any time I saw her, she always looked away, like she was ashamed to see me.
It hurt.
But I knew why.
Mia never liked me, as I’ve said before, I felt the same, though I didn’t hate her, I didn’t like her either.
So, to make Kaya feel less uncomfortable I decided to spend my time in the library during recess. Our school library was small, with not much in the way of books. From what I knew the room used to be two classrooms that were changed to be a library for the students. The librarian who was also our history teacher, Mr. McCrae, was a man who was much older than my Dad and taller too, his dark hair had bits of grey and a full beard.
“Hello, Amalie.” He says from his desk with a warm smile. “Wonderful day to read, don’t you think so?”
I smiled at him back. “Hi, Mr. McCrae, it is, but then isn’t any day a good day to read?”
He chuckled. “It is indeed, Lukas is already here,” he pointed out the boy in a section of the library. “You want to go join him?”
I nodded, before going over to where Lukas was.
Lukas Winston, a boy who was in the same grade as me but in a different class, he had a wheelchair to move around since his legs didn’t work so well. He could walk if needed, but would still need assistance from time to time. He was wearing long tanned shorts that looked almost like pants, and a dark blue shirt as he was a bit tanned from being in the sun so much. He was as skinny as me but with light brown hair and light blue eyes.
“Hey, Amalie!” he grinned. “Want to check out my new book? It’s about dinosaurs!”
He held up the book, any time I saw him he’d have a book on something from history, like dinosaurs, mummies and tombs, to even mythology.
Something that even Mr. McCrae would get into, he always enjoyed reading stuff, making it sound like an amazing story when, to some other teachers, it would just be a bunch of facts and stuff.
And even Lucas’s dad, who as Lucas told, was an archeologist, would apply to assist on digs, and even Lucas would go and help. He could be out there for hours on the ground to try and look for bones.
He even told me once that he found rocks that looked like arrowheads, even if they weren’t, it was still really neat.
“Sure, Lukas,” I say as I sat in a chair near his wheelchair as we looked at the book in question. But noticed how Mr. McCrae had left his seat and looked into the hallway before bringing the door ajar. Every time I came to the library, be it with Lukas or by myself, this was something Mr. McCrae always did.
The reason?
To keep the monster who watched me, far away, for he would never do anything when another adult or multiple people were present. It was the sole reason why I was alright with Kaya not wanting to be near me because even if she was stuck with those who bullied me or with another group of kids that joined Kaya when the bullies left, she was at least not alone.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
I, on the other hand, had a target on my back as I was seen by not only my homeroom teacher but many of the students who were wary of Mia’s group, as an outcast.
But I wasn’t dumb, if Mr. McCrae wasn’t in the library, then I would see Madam Andrews, our French teacher, and if she wasn’t then I would be outside, even if it meant Mia and her group would target me.
Or course, I wasn’t the only one that monster had his eyes on, from what I could get from the other kids that were hurt by him, he was the kind of person to go after whatever kid, though he preferred girls.
An opportunist, as my dad would say. If only I was bigger. If only I was stronger, then I could do something that would make the monster know I wouldn’t stand by and let it happen.
But, I’m only seven, there was only so much I could do, and even when I tried to get some of the kids who were hurt to tell the teacher and their parents, they wouldn’t, they were too afraid of what might happen if they did.
I had gathered a lot of information and even told Mr. McCrae and Madam Andrews, they were the only ones who believed me, but because of that principle, there was nothing that they could do, at worse they might end up like Garry, or Ms. Shannon, a new teacher, who, sadly, was fried, because she wouldn’t keep quiet. From what I heard she was now working at a program to help children who were abused, but she became injured by someone. Beaten and left as she was. Thankfully, she wasn’t in a coma, but she had no memory of what happened.
People called it “selective memory loss” and while rare, she couldn’t remember what happened last year.
Which meant I was left with little support.
My eyes glanced at the picture showing the size of a human next to a T-Rex.
“Too bad dinosaurs don’t exist now,” I said, mainly thinking of a T-Rex chasing that monster and swallowing him whole.
“You mean like Jurassic Park?” Lukas asked, his mismatched eyes shining.
“What’s that?”
His mouth fell open. “You never heard of it?! That’s, like, the most well-known book and movie in the country, heck, the whole world even!”
I just looked at him confused. “Really?”
“Yeah, and even though it’d be cool to ride around on a dinosaur it wouldn’t be good at all because of how out of control it could be!”
“Huh,” I always found history interesting, the many different cultures, and peoples, the rise and fall of civilizations, and what brought about the fall for many.
I learned a new word recently when I was in the library with Mr. McCrae, a word called hubris, it means having too much pride or self-confidence. It made me think of that monster, and how much self-confidence he had, my father too, but I knew my dad was smart, smarter than the monster and my dad while holding pride, never seemed to let it get out of control.
“Having pride is one thing, but it can lead a person down the wrong path if they allow it to grow their ego, when that happens, at some point, that pride will be a person’s very downfall.”
The way my Dad talked, made me think that he had known someone who was like that, or several people even, my Dad was on the radio a lot, so dealing with people from all walks of life would bring a few who were like that.
Now, I didn’t mention this before, but there was another reason why I always go to the library. Even though the books were strictly for kids, I hoped to find something that would give me something I could use to trap that monster. Online, there were a few things, but some sites I couldn’t get to because of the child lock.
It made things frustrating.
Even more so when the sites I looked at said to ask for an adult to help.
But I couldn’t, not from the teachers, or even my Dad. Because I knew if my Dad knew of that monster, then that monster would disappear. And I didn’t want that.
It was why I used the school laptops and not my own. But it did get me thinking about something if I couldn’t ask the adults, what about a person, who was old enough, but was still not an adult?
Then I remembered who I could talk to.
* * *
“What to do when you need to send something in secret?” Elain repeated later that night as I sat with her on the couch in my house. “Why do you need to do something like that?”
“Because… there are things I need to tell, but… it can’t come back to me.”
Elain frowned and moved a bit closer to me, elbows on her knees as she looked at me. “Do you think you wouldn’t be believed?”
I only nodded.
Elain was silent for a moment, then asked me a question I knew she’d ask me at some point. “Amalie, did something happen between you and Kaya when she started school?”
“Not with me,” I said as I looked at my hands. “But… she was being talked harshly too by some of the girls at the school. They’re in my class, but I think they only went after Kaya because she was close to me.”
“What do you mean?” Elain asked. “Amalie, are you being bullied?”
“Yes,” I could not lie. “But it’s fine, I’m used to it.”
“Amalie no,” she grasped my hand with hers “This isn’t something you should ever be used to. What those kids are doing is wrong, whatever reason they think they have doesn’t excuse it, and never will.”
My gaze went to her arm, the one she kept covered at all times, an injury from those who disliked Elain for just being herself.
“I know,” I said. “But I also know, that there are people who hurt others because they have been hurt, and those who will join in so they won’t get hurt themselves.” It was why Kaya stopped being my friend and ended up being pushed to join Mai’s group. I don’t think they’re bullying her now. After all, she did seem to have fun and make jokes about things with them when I saw them outside. “Though I’m not sure, she won’t tell me.”
Again, Elain went quiet. Silently thinking.
“And you can’t tell your dad about this?”
I shook my head.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded.
She fell quiet again, leaning back on the couch, her left hand tapping the armrest.
“Do you have an email?”
I nodded. “My Dad helped me set it up. I was told I might need one for school.”
She had a look on her face, I think she was surprised, did she not have one when she was my age? A lot of the kids at my school did, was that not normal?
“We could try sending an anonymous email,”
“What does that mean?”
“Anonymous means you can do it secretly, no one would be able to know it was you who sent the email.”
“Oh, so no one would know it was me?”
“Exactly, it could work, especially if it’s something that the teachers can’t ignore but aren’t listening to you for whatever reason.” She then took out her laptop from her backpack, she brought it with her to go over notes for class or listen to recordings of the teachers.
“Elain?”
“Hmm?”
“You can send recordings too, right? How do you do that?” I asked her.
“Yup, you can send videos as well. See the paperclip symbol, you can attach videos and pictures, and attach documents like Word or PowerPoint. Though there is a limit in what you can send.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, say you have twenty photos you want to send to your dad after being on a trip, but you can only send five at a time. And if it’s a video you can only send a certain size, about 10MB.”
I tilted my head in confusion. “MB?”
“It’s short for Megabyte, it’s okay if you don’t get it, I can teach you how all this goes.”
“And I can send this anona… an-on-a-mouse-ly?” I said the word, sounding it out, it wasn’t one I knew of yet.
“Yeah, if no one is listening then that’s the best way to go about it. There is also posting on social media but that’s an entirely different monster and I doubt that’s what you want.”
I quickly shook my head, I heard stories of how things could be taken out of context, and where it could only make things worse for those who were hurt rather than the person who caused it in the first place. I had to be sure what I saw and how he acted would be enough to get only that monster in trouble, not any of the kids he hurt.
But now that I had a way to do so, I needed to first try it out, then see what I could gather as proof, and ask if any of the other kids would be willing to work with me to finally bring that monster to light for everyone to see.
I had to wait, wait and see what I could do to get proof, as much as I wanted to act quickly, I needed to be sure more than anything else unless the monster decides to go after me I have to make sure it would only be me and me alone.