CHAPTER 368 – AN IRREVERSIBLE CHOICE.

Clare jumped sideways and activated her shield to protect herself. Magic flared out as she cast her taunt. It went through the intangible healer and predictably, given their circumstances, did nothing.

Michael had reverted to his younger form that everyone was familiar with but was clearly incorporeal. Occasionally, you could see right through him. “Easy there Clare. It’s just me.”

“Michael? You’re…”

The healer smiled apologetically. “Yes, I’m a ghost. I died.”

Her face flushed red. “And why? Why are you here?”

“Because I’m no longer considered as an option to resurrect.”

Clare’s face dropped. She appeared horrified.

He raised his hand quickly to forestall any reaction. “No, don’t get upset… I’m not angry… I’m not here as a vengeful spirit. On the contrary, I fully support your reasoning. And… um…” he massaged the bridge of his nose. “I’m not sure why I’m here. Maybe because I’m the most well-known out of those removed from consideration and… I think I’m supposed to help break the current stalemate.”

“Have you been able to watch what’s happening?” Clare’s face screwed up. “Because your timings kind of weird. I know Gerald and Puma are still objecting but to be honest I think we’ve already decided.”

Michael grimaced. “I’ve been watching… and yes, you’re close, but you’re not there yet and I have information to share that’s likely to stir the pot.

“Was Tom watching too.” Everlyn interrupted her voice desperate. “Is he okay? Is he sad?”

Michael paused for a moment his face filled with compassion. “He was furious about dying and I think he blames himself.”

“I was angry about more than that,” Tom muttered to himself from where he sat alone above them. He was thinking about the GODs, the fucking bastards.

“I would have helped him if I could of. I feel so bad.”

“He knows. We all did our part, but you were fighting the giant and he wants you to be aware that he forgives you.”

Tom stared at Michael in shock. He had most certainly not said that.

Everlyn’s eyes watered at that. “He does? Really because he was so cold and angry at me. I know I stuffed up… did he really say that?” She smiled, a very fragile expression. “You talked about me?”

“We did, but only briefly, because there were bigger issues to discuss. But he feels bad about how things went between you and regrets the mistakes he made.” Michael subtly glanced up and winked in his direction.

Tom felt like throttling him, but there was nothing he could do, and he could see what Michael was doing. Providing her closure in case he was not chosen and if he was resurrected, there was no true damage done, anyway.

Everlyn looked up at the sky. “Tom, you don’t need to think that. It was my fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. I overreacted. I ruined it and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t make you happier.”

“He hears you Everlyn,” Michael said gently. “And I had a long chat with him. He’s fine and wants you to be able to move on and find your own happiness.”

“I won’t.”

“That’s not what he wants.”

“But…”

“Circumstances conspired against you. Partnerships can end without anyone being responsible.”

“No, I don’t accept that. We were great together, and I was more experienced with relationships. It was my responsibility. I should have talked it out more. He had forty years alone, and I kicked him away because he made the right choice. Tom I’m so sorry.”

Despite everything, Tom could feel the lump in his throat and his eyes watered. Her distress physically hurt him. They were so compatible in some ways and horribly not in others.

“Tom, I’m sorry.” She was brawling and was stunning in her fragile beauty. Clare stepped across and hugged her tightly.

Michael grimaced as he looked at her. “I shouldn’t have raised it. But as I said earlier,” He fiddled with his chin. “We were mainly talking about the future and following your debate. Both of us being very thankful that we weren’t down here with a vote. Tom’s probably still thinking that and as for me… I’m in the middle of it.” He shook his fist theatrically at the ceiling.

Despite the sombre mood, there were a couple of quiet smiles.

Everlyn broke away from Clare. “What was Tom’s opinion on our debate?”

The healer appeared thoughtful for a moment. “I know he’s watching, but I’m going to be honest. Tom’s not great at these assessments and in this case he’s a little too close to the detail to be impartial.”

“He’s angry that we didn’t immediately vote for him isn’t he.”

Michael shook his head. “No, he’s not. Not even close. He understands the arguments everyone has raised and how hard this decision is. I’m not here to talk about his opinions and to be honest I suspect I’m not allowed to. I think most of the reason I’m here is that DEUS wanted to reward us and let me help bring some closure. Regarding what I can do. I’ve got some personal stuff from the others to share,” he glanced upward as he stated that fact. “And some new information that I expect to be relevant to your debate. What would you like me to start with?”

“Private matters first.” Clare declared. “If you share the other stuff, it might make the decision obvious and cause you to vanish … unless you’re only able to be here for a specific amount of time? How long do you have?”

Michael made a face as he considered the question. “I don’t believe there’s a time limit. I don’t have an energy reserve or anything like that which is running down. But there’s no point wasting time. First,” He turned to face Selena, and indicated for both Jane and Meiji to get closer. “First, I want to say I’m sorry for your loss. I talked to your team and Jenny apologises.”

Selena’s face twisted up at that. She didn’t believe him. He hesitated and bit his lower lip.

He hesitated and bit his lower lip. “Well, more precisely, she’s bitter about the oracle question because she feels like it deceived her.”

“I told her she was misinterpreting it. That her approach was too literal.” Selena whispered.

“She knows,” Michael assured her gently. “But she’s caught up with events since she died. The giant’s response to her and the wador’s actions along with the benefits it produced for us means she probably did what DEUS intended. She hates that thought, that the best thing for humanity was her to fail but she accepts the consequences. Personally, I don’t believe that any of the gods have that level of forecasting ability… and I doubt her instructions were for a specific event, but who knows where divinity is involved. It’s more than possible that she was directed into this trial under the assumption that the chaos of her deeds would spur everyone else to greater heights or something like that.”

“Is this lecture actually relevant to Jenny?”

Michael nodded. “Yeah, it is. This is the discussion we had, and I wanted to explain her mindset. She is very logical and philosophical about what happens, and she apologises for her action. She wants you to know that you have no reason to feel bad about anything you did. She said that she was in the wrong and should have been more considerate of your opinions.”

Tom looked up at where Jenny was standing. Ever since Michael had talked to her, he had been able to see her clearly, and she stood almost regally. A distant look with a side touch of longing on her face as she stared down upon them. Micro expressions crossed her face, a tiny frown and a resigned, unhappy acceptance. There was none of the anger that he had feared she would be exhibiting. He remembered her hitting him in fury because their decision to kill one of the wador had exposed the weakness in the contract between her and them.

Instead of it being bloody but not deadly, humans were going to die and in the spur of the moment she had blamed him. With more time to reflect, she had clearly moved away from that opinion. She glanced his way and their eyes met. She mouthed the word ‘sorry’.

Tom forced himself not to react, and she turned her attention back to the people below.

“It was a similar story with those who followed her.” Michael continued. “They appreciated the fight you put up for them, but ultimately there aren’t enough reward points to resurrect everyone and they made a critical mistake and they accept the verdict they received.”

Selena raised her eyebrows. “I call bullshit. This is all too rosy. Some of them would be resentful.”

“I can’t prove anything, but I haven’t lied.”

“He hasn’t.” Everlyn confirmed.

“I think when you die you have time to reflect. A chance to put things into perspective. It might not be believable to you, but I guarantee this is what they think.”

“Thanks. I’m glad that’s how they all feel.” Her facial expressions told everyone that she had mixed feelings. She didn’t fully believe everything that Michael had said.

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“How about me?” Gerald asked unable to help himself.

“Vidja, encourages you to keep yourself together and to focus on achieving your aims…”

“Not her!”

Michael nodded thoughtfully, a smirk on his face. “I know what you wanted. But you looked up to Vidja and her wisdom is relevant. No matter what happens will you promise to listen to it.”

“I’m not a quitter. Yes, I’m going to keep fighting. Was Usko up there?”

“Usko says he loves you, but also stresses that you need to vote for what is best for humanity.”

“Did he say what that was?”

Michael was frozen artificially for a moment before he shook himself and winced slightly. “Apparently, I have restrictions on what I can express. Having experienced it I have a lot of sympathy for how Tom suffers when Social Silence kicks in.” No one was interested in his attempt at humour this time, so Michael ploughed on. “As for your question Usko had an opinion, but I’m not allowed to say it.”

“The self-sacrificing fool would probably be voting for his own death,” Gerald concluded. “But I won’t do the same.”

“I can’t say.” Michael repeated. “All I can convey is that he says he loves you and you need to vote for what is best for humanity.”

One by one Michael went through the list of everyone who had died. Sometime addressing the group and on other occasions individuals. Overall, there was little to no bitterness even from those who had been sacrificed as a distraction. Most via Michael asked Clare to forgive herself and stated they had known what was coming before they entered the final zone.

The actions of a couple of those who had died caught Tom’s attention. Toni’s words were explicitly for Everlyn, and it made her cry harder through she lifted her head to the sky and mimed a thank you at the end.

Vidja went the other direction. She addressed the group and no one individually. She wanted to continue to contribute and felt unqualified to determine which of the two groups were better.

Michael’s last set of personal news was a silent conversation with Gerald that left the younger man with tear streaks down his face.

“That’s all the personal stuff.” Michael declared. “Now there’s some information you need to factor into your decision making. Of those who have died myself, Tom, Rahmat and Vidja got offered a chance to reincarnate with our memories intact. No one else received the offer. From what I can tell, the selection criteria was a mixture of personal successes and leadership qualities. Tom obviously only qualified on the first.” He grinned upward at him once more.

There was understandably shocked silence at the revelation as once more the attempt at a joke fell on deaf ears.

“No one has any sense of humour. Regaining focus. Vidja’s ambivalence around who gets resurrected is probably because of the second chance that she was getting, anyway. She is determined to contribute more, and the reincarnation gives her that lifeline. Rahmat, on the other hand will not reincarnate. He claimed he is tired and can’t rebuild himself a third time. I suspect the decision is also influenced by his faith. If possible, he wants to continue his current life. He feels he has a lot to offer in defeating the trolls. Out of the four of us, he is the only one who expressed a preference between reincarnation and resurrection.”

“And Tom?” Everlyn asked almost breathlessly.

“What do you think? Of course, he’s taking the opportunity to save humanity.”

“And you as well, presumably?” Clare queried.

Michael nodded. “Yes,” then he smiled. “I had a chat with Tom about how to exploit the system. And there is so much we can fucking do to accelerate ourselves. Without fate, I reckon reincarnation might be advantageous, but only marginally. However, with it active, the concept is absolutely ridiculous. I’m going to be reincarnated and if we meet in thirty years’ time, I’m confident that I’ll be stronger than you.”

“How?” Clare asked. “You must miss heaps of development while you’re a small child.”

“Titles mainly, but also the acquisition of skills.”

“Like what Tom did to get his domain so quickly.” Clare concluded.

“But you’re giving up ten plus years of hunting for experience.” Puma said. “That’s a big hurdle for passive skill acquirement to cross.”

Michael shrugged. “You’re starting with an expert class at a minimum.”

“Tom already did that.”

He sighed. “We all know that Everlyn. I said, at a minimum. Personally, I expect to start with a legendary version and that by itself will make a huge difference.”

“And Tom’s view on reincarnation?” Clare asked.

Michael froze for the slightest of moments. “I can’t say. It won’t let me speculate and to be honest I don’t actually know we never talked about what he would do. All I got was advice from him. He’s a certified genius at that type of stuff.”

“Can you share more about what he said?” Clare asked, pouncing on the moment.

The healer froze a look of surprise on his face. Cracks spread through his already partially transparent body and then he faded away to nothing.

Shock flushed across Clare’s face. “Michael?, Michael?” she spun around, searching for him. “Please respond. I didn’t mean to push. Please. Fuck. I wasn’t finished with him!”

Next to Tom the healer appeared having reverted to his old earth form.

“What was that about?”

The old man with deep laugh lines on his face shook his head. “Nope. None of that. I don’t want you asking any question. I would like to watch to the end and I have no desire to be wondering what happened here in my future life and I doubt I’ll get another warning.”

“Fine, I’ll try not to probe.” Tom scratched his cheek as he replayed the interaction in his head. “It doesn’t make sense. Why were you the one to be kicked when Clare asked the question?”

“Because I tried to answer.”

“And why did you talk so positively about your reincarnation?”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Please Tom, stop asking questions. I want to watch the end of this! I don’t want to be expelled.”

Tom nodded, and they turned their attention to the activities below.

They had decided that Michael was not returning, and Clare kicked the ground in frustration. “Damn it. I wanted to apologise for sending him to his death.”

Next to him Michael startled. “Oh, I didn’t think of that. Tom, Rahmat whichever of you is resurrected let her know that I knew from the moment she gave me the skill that I was going to be a sacrificial pawn. The strategy we needed to do was pretty obvious. Distract on one side and then attack from the blind spot. I went into that portal happy and hopeful that our unity would let some of us live on, even if the odds of my personal survival were near zero. I understood what was coming, and she made the right call.”

“Will do,” Rahmat said immediately. “You were too busy delivering all of our last words to do your own.”

“I know, the whole thing was so unexpected that I was more than a little off balanced. Still, I think I did what I needed to.”

Underneath them, Clare recovered herself. And then glanced around, assessing everyone gathered. “That was enlightening, but seems like we can continue. Have any of you changed your minds?”

“Yes,” Gerald answered. “I’m at peace with the decision to resurrect Tom. I’ve thought about it, and I was being selfish, putting my own needs over humanity’s. We have to resurrect him.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying from the start.” Everlyn jumped up in excitement.

Clare looked pained. “Can you articulate why you think that’s the best idea?”

“It’s obvious, really. I couldn’t stop thinking about the coming troll war. That’s our best play to swing the future into our favour. That’s how we save humanity and what is three extra fighters versus the strategic benefits that True Dreaming gives us. We don’t need to kill all the trolls just sacrifice the leaders. Which is great because there is no way the eleven of us or fourteen if we select that option can kill a kingdom full of people who are on average twenty ranks higher than us. We have to complete the mission stealthily and that’s an area that True Dreaming excels at. In fact, I’d go as far to say we can’t steal their racial trait without him.”

Clare turned to Puma. Her hands were clenched into tight fists. “And you?”

The other man shrugged. “The logic’s pretty compelling.”

“So, you’re going to change your vote just like that?”

“If Gerald has, then yeah, I can. He’s my mate, Usko and Soetanto as well. And to be honest, there was never much between the two options for me. And what Gerald said made sense. I don’t know how you can dispute that logic if you are voting for humans rather than personal needs.”

“Exactly,” Keikain agreed. “And it’s what I’ve been saying from the start. Putting emotional baggage aside even a hundred extra fighters is not worth as much as Tom guiding us with his oracle questions and True Dreaming. We win this through stealth, not force of arms.”

“But surely there is more to it than that.” Clare said. “We now need to weigh what he can do if he is reincarnated. You heard Michael he’s going to be a menace.”

“Bad logic,” Keikain said dismissively. “Either Vidja or Tom is getting reincarnated. She cancels him out.”

“Well, no, we can kick her out of the group.”

Keikain shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. The trolls are the most important thing that any human can do and that need, it gets preference over everything else. And we need Tom for that effort. No one else is anywhere near as important. And anyway,” he looked suspiciously at her. “Why are you arguing so strongly? You said you were going to stay out of this.”

“I did,” she agreed.

“Then why have you changed your mind?”

“When I heard Michael speak, everything shifted. The way I had been thinking about the issues was wrong and it was crystal clear that Tom was better off being reincarnated.”

“That doesn’t make sense. You’re not the giant, you don’t have a gut you can rely on. Are you really basing this on feel instead of logic?”

“No, there’s logic there, but I can’t speak about my thoughts because I have a title constraining me.”

Keikain hesitated… Understanding flared in his eyes. “I understand what you’re saying, but it doesn’t change the calculation. We need Tom to defeat the trolls. He’s more valuable to this effort than anyone else and with Puma and Gerald both agreeing there is no reason we can’t trigger the resurrection. Leave here stronger and face the next challenge.”

There was a chorus of assent.

Clare glanced around them. “And you’re all in agreement and nothing I can say can change any of your minds.”

Gerald looked torn, but he was the only one.

“We’ve made the decision Clare.” Keikain told her.

She nodded. “I see…” Her eyes became unfocused as she checked her system room. “Ah, I see how to do this.” She glanced around a final time. “Once I pull the trigger. That’s it. There’s no second chance.”

Keikain threw his eyes to the sky like he was seeking strength from a deity. “We all agree Clare. Just do it.”

A host of emotions went over her face. She really didn’t want to be making this decision. She met the eyes of everyone gathered. Then nodded to herself. “Fuck it!” she whispered. “I’m making a captain’s call. Resurrect Rahmat, Toni, Usko and Soetano.” She ordered with a commanding voice.

It took a horrible second for the others to realise what had happened.

The joy on Everlyn’s face drained away and was replaced by anger as she realised what Clare had just said. She threw herself at the other woman. “What the fuck Clare.” She yelled while tackling her to the ground. “You said you wouldn’t do that. That you weren’t going to do anything unilaterally?”

The two of them crashed onto the floor. Clare winced but did not fight back and just stared straight up at Everlyn. “I made the right choice. I dare say the only one available.”

“How could you? You killed Tom and now we don’t have True Dreaming and the Oracle questions.”

Four pillars of light had formed around them. Clare smiled when she saw them, probably because she recognised that they meant there was no going back. The points were spent, and they were committed.

“Everlyn, I’m doing this for humanity. We’ve got everyone we need to beat the trolls and Tom is required elsewhere.

“That Tom,” Michael said abruptly. “Is why I said what I did. I only needed to convince one person.”

Tom glanced at the other man. Their time was up as they were both starting to fade away to nothing, but the healer was smiling like he had won a lottery. “Tom, I hope we can meet in the next life. I wish you the best of luck.”

Then he was gone and a moment later, Tom found himself in his system room. Dux stood across from him in all of her glory.

“I have this for you.” She waved a vanilla folder.

“What is it?”

“A memory.”

Cautiously, he took it. Memories appeared in his mind. They were meetings of the GODs. He wasn’t supposed to see them, but DEUS had obviously pulled strings to allow it. His mind processed what he had experienced. “What the hell? This… They’re screwing me over further? Why?” His head snapped up to confront Dux, but she had vanished visually. But he suspected she was still there, monitoring him remotely. “And? And how much time has passed? The reincarnation agreement was contingent on me being able to influence the competition. It was supposed to be almost immediate. This doesn’t make sense. Answer me.! Why are you doing this?”

The memories of what he had just experience bounced around inside him, creating a growing pit of anger.

“Good luck in the next life.” Dux said from behind him. “Humanity needs you.”