“Uh… hey? Genjo, you better not be flaking out on us on your last night here.”
Hearing that suddenly made me snap back to reality. I still feel pretty spaced out, but it didn’t take long for me to recognize where I was. Regardless, it’s a bit odd, feeling a sense of relief just from remembering what my backyard looks like. Still feeling a chill running down my spine, I inched ever so closely to the raging fire that’s centered between me and my two best friends. Well, ‘best’ friends isn’t exactly the most prestigious honor in the world considering the… lack of other candidates. Yeah, let’s just leave it at that.
I looked over at Fumio, who was staring at me with a concerned expression. “We’re serious, man. You haven’t forgotten the number one rule for any sleepover, right?”
As if it were clockwork, everyone in the room said “Anyone who sleeps before midnight funds tomorrow morning’s breakfast.” We chanted in unison with a tone somehow less enthusiastic than an American classroom during the Pledge of Allegiance.
I rubbed my eyes and sighed to signal that I’m not just running on autopilot. “Yeah, sorry about that, guys. I’ll pick up some donuts or something before I leave for the airport,” I managed to get out mid-yawn.
I pulled out my wallet just to make sure I even had enough money when Taisuke tossed me a measly 10 yen coin and simply said “I’ll have a large coffee.” before leaning back in his chair.
Fumio smacked Taisuke across the head faster than I could blink. “Dude, is that any way to treat our friend the night before he leaves for America?” For a guy that looked like any average bookworm, Fumio was deceptively agile.
Taisuke just brushed his long, bright red hair out of his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time tonight, shrugged, and said “You’re right, man. Sorry, Genjo. Now’s not exactly the time to be making jokes like that.” His usual child-like grin faded.
The energy in the yard came to a screeching halt. I decided to break the silence. “Nah, it ain’t a big deal, you guys. If anything, tonight is the night for you guys to be smartasses. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I wanted this night to be one to remember. After all, I probably won’t see these jokers for a while.
Taisuke’s smile immediately reverted to the smirk he had just a few seconds prior. “Well, I sure am glad that’s settled. In that case, another drink, Fumio!” Taisuke held out his arm like he expected it to teleport into his hand before giving up and grabbing it himself.. “We’re sending Genjo off with a bang!” Taisuke quickly cracked open another can of soda and chugged it down like he was throwing back a shot. I’d approximate that about half of its contents ran down the side of his face as he prioritized speed over actual drinking efficiency.
Fumio snatched the empty can out of Taisuke’s grip so fast that I’m surprised his square-framed glasses even stayed on his face. “If you’re able to forget that I haven’t been your errand boy since middle school, then I certainly hope you haven’t also forgotten what time his flight leaves in the morning.”
“Don’t worry about me, Fumio, seriously. The flight’s gonna be over 10 hours long. I can just sleep on the plane if I have to. And besides, my parents are taking me to the airport in the morning, so it’s not like I have to worry about falling asleep at the wheel.” I reassured them that I’ll be ok, and to not tone themselves down just because I was leaving.
Taisuke quickly interjected, “Yeah, Fumio. As long as Genjo’s got enough brain cells still turned on to not walk on the wrong plane, it’ll all work out fine. Now get him another soda! I don’t wanna be the only one having any fun!’
“I can grab my own drink, thanks, but I appreciate the offer, Taisuke. Even if you were too lazy to fulfill it on your own,” I said with a chuckle as I grabbed a grape flavored Tanta out of the cooler and, before I knew it, I had completely forgotten what I was even dreaming about before. Amidst all the reminiscing of stories from the past, there was nothing to worry about. Or maybe I was just telling myself that so it would be easier to leave it all behind.
Tomorrow morning, I’m leaving Hakone, a town I’ve known my whole life, to attend an American university exclusively for Japanese college students in an area near San Jose, California. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, and don’t get me wrong; I’m very glad I got accepted to enroll, but leaving Fumio and Taisuke behind was almost painful enough to convince me to stay. Keyword being ‘almost’.
Without any warning, Taisuke jumped back into the conversation. “By the way, Genjo, I know I probably should’ve asked this a few months ago, but why are you going all the way to America just to go to college? There are plenty of great universities here in Japan.” As expected, it got quiet. Not even Fumio was in the mood to tell him off. Judging from the look on his face, Taisuke instantly regretted bringing it up. “Shit. I really killed the mood, didn’t I? Just forget I brought it up, man.”
“No, you’re fine, Taisuke. It’s my last night, after all. You guys deserve the truth, right? What kind of friend would I be if I left without giving you an answer?” I laughed in an attempt to ease the tension, but even I can tell it was fake. I couldn’t sugar coat it anymore; it was time for me to be completely honest with the only two friends I ever bothered making.
My mouth opened, but no words came out.
Any attempt I made at speaking was futile. The words were stuck in my throat, as if they were struggling to squirm their way out of a trap that I had set for them. I wanted so desperately to let them out, but every attempt simply resulted in an open mouth. Each breath that I took felt like an eternity, and I could sense my friends growing ever more impatient as I stalled for more time to gain my composure so I could just say the words I’ve been wanting and trying to say for so many years and -
“It’s alright, dude. Take as long as you need.”
...Huh?
“Don’t rush it. That’ll only make it harder.” Fumio reiterated Taisuke’s words of encouragement. They struck me like a bullet. I guess I picked the right people to keep by my side for so long.
I managed to whisper out a simple, “Thanks, guys. If it weren’t for y’all, this decision would’ve been a hell of a lot easier,” as I stood up from my chair and laid down in the grass to gaze at the stars. No longer trapped by my own inhibitions, my words start to spill out. “I’m tired of my past haunting me everywhere I go. Every single day, I’m reminded of all my mistakes, my missteps, my shortcomings. No one will ever let me forget them. I just want to run away and leave all those things behind. This sort of opportunity only comes once in a lifetime, you know?”
My legs began to itch from the grass. I sat back up, facing away from the fire, too scared to look back and see any glares of disapproval. “The truth is… I don’t even know if I ever liked it here that much at all. I just can’t help but feel like I’m destined for something so much greater than I can possibly comprehend. I’m not even sure what I really mean by that, but I know that the first step is to get away.” I let out a sigh as I slowly morphed into a fetal position and let my head sink down into my knees. “...and you guys are the only thing I don’t want to lose.” A singular tear trickled down my right cheek. “I almost wish I hadn’t met y’all in the first place so I could leave this piece of shit town for good.”
I couldn’t hold my composure any longer at that point. I broke down into tears, feeling like complete and total shit for being so brutally honest about the contempt and hatred I’ve been hiding away for 18 years. What the hell are my friends even thinking right now? Do they hate me now? Is what I said enough to convince them that I wasn’t worth their time? Are they just as convinced as everyone else has been for so many years?
My entire body went numb from head to toe. The only thing I could feel anymore was my heart pounding away in my chest. My ribcage was throbbing with so much pain and agony that I felt like it would snap at any moment. I could barely breathe without gasping for air, like every single breath I took was yanked away from me immediately after. My body was devoid of any and all sensation. All I could feel was fear; Fear that I somehow managed to fuck up the one thing I was able to keep steady for my entire life.
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
To be honest, it felt like days went by before I felt anything other than the pain - it was a hand on my right shoulder. The numbness started to subside. Another hand rested on the left side, slightly less gently than the other. I slowly gathered the energy to lift my head out of my hands to see Fumio on my right, with a warm smile on his face, and to my left was Taisuke, smirking at me like a goofball. I couldn’t help but let out a laugh when I saw him, knowing full well he’s trying his absolute hardest to make me feel better, and that the best he could come up with was smiling like a goober. But then again, based on my reaction, he definitely figured that it was his go-to solution for a damn good reason.
I turned my head to look at Fumio again, his caring gaze unchanged. He looked at me and simply asked “Do you need help getting up?” I glanced down at my legs. They hadn’t moved for a while, and they honestly still felt a little bit frozen from sitting down for so long. The parts that had been lying in the grass had broken out in hives. Resisting the urge to obsessively scratch at them, my eyes returned to Fumio and I nodded. My friends each lifted me up - again, one much less gently than the other - and slowly helped me get back on my feet.
Without much warning - aside from the usual feeling that Taisuke was up to something - my phone came flying at my face from across the patio. It whirred by my face from left to right, barely grazing past my nose before I caught it in my right hand, mere milliseconds away from shattering Fumio’s glasses if my reaction time was any slower. Expectedly, Fumio didn’t even flinch in the face of imminent danger. That guy could probably stare down Death itself in the eyes and probably have a smile on his face while doing so.
“Dude, just cause you’re gonna be halfway across the globe doesn’t mean we’re not gonna be there for you!” Taisuke casually chimed in, totally ignoring any of the potential reasons that his decision could’ve ended very poorly. “I’m just a text away if anything happens. I’m sure Fumio will be too, if he’s not too busy in the lab opening a wormhole.”
Fumio let out a quiet chuckle. “Like they’d let me do that during freshman year. If anyone’s gonna be doing anything crazy this year it’ll be Genjo.” He adjusted his glasses, looked over at me and slapped me on the shoulder. “You heard the man. Text me if you discover a new element. Or if you manage to blow up a laboratory. That also works.”
I laughed and gave Fumio an equally tough shoulder punch. “I’ll be texting you a hell of a lot more than just that, dude. Although don’t get too upset if I start making new friends over there and I stop texting y’all as much.”
Taisuke slammed his soda can down on the arm of my chair, pretending as if he were somehow under the influence of a drink that didn’t even have any sugar - much less any alcohol. “We’re not even gonna *hic* let’cha think about forgetting about us.” He began to stumble, pretending to nearly fall into the fire which, like an actual drunkard, seemed to instantly sober him back up. “Tell us about your new American friends too. I’ll be on standby as judge, jury, and executioner to weed out all of the shitty ones.”
“Alright, then you can start with this one”, I said as I grabbed my phone, not before rolling my eyes at such an oddly humorous proposal, and opened my messaging app. “The academy knows that almost none of the students attending are from the same parts of Japan, so in order to help us at least make a friend or two, they paired us off with one other random student before the semester started. The email said that they’re hoping that having pairs of students meeting each other rather than singular students will be a ‘social catalyst’ or something.” I pulled up the student profile that was attached to my email. “Here’s her picture.”
Within a fraction of a second, Taisuke was already leaning heavily into my personal space to get a look for himself. “Genjo, you should’ve said it was a chick from the beginning!” He started scanning the profile up and down for any information he could use to either poke fun at her, or to claim that this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me in the last 18 years.
As Taisuke skimmed her profile, he began to read out loud for Fumio to hear as well, and also potentially the entire neighborhood. “Chika Dokuro. Hometown: Hiraizumi, Iwate. Expertise is in... information analysis. Hair: Silver. Chances of her falling deeply in love with Genjo - “ His eyes turned to Fumio. “- unlikely.”
That part at the end didn’t seem necessary.
Nonetheless, Taisuke kept on reading aloud. “Interests include: Gardening, reading, and religion. Crooked teeth: None. Favorite artist: Picasso. Texts between the two: Oddly flirtatious.”
“Hey! Who gave you permission to go anywhere other than her profile?”, I said as I snatched my phone out of his hands. His only defense was a measly “you never told me I couldn’t!!” While that might’ve held up in court, it doesn’t mean I’ll ever trust him with my text messages again.
Fumio scoffed, seeming slightly annoyed. “Can’t believe I spent the last 7 years as your wingman, only for your school to get you more success than I ever did.” He took a sip from a glass of water, not looking up from his issue of a magazine titled ‘Tips for Telling Friends and Family About Your Asexuality in a Subtle and Passive Way’. “Because we’re not gonna talk about -”
“Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!” Taisuke’s hand shot up into the air like a rocket. “This is about the second year summer festival, isn’t it??”
“I was about to say that we’re not gonna talk about the second year summer festival.” Fumio sighed as he slammed the pages of his magazine shut. “I’d rather not bring up that kind of stuff, lest it permeate into how we handle this situation as well.”
I reclined back into my chair and sighed. “Guys, no need to stress about that incident. I’m sure anyone who saw that video before the school made them take it down isn’t going to the academy. And even if they have, they’ve probably forgotten about it by now. I’ll be fine.”
There was a brief moment of silence in the yard. It was only broken when Taisuke said, “I dunno, man, that video made it into the annual Tobiishi High School Cringe Compilation that year. Shit always goes viral.” Fumio nodded in agreement, mouthing the word “always” very slowly and ominously.
Suddenly the air was a lot more tense than before. “Well yeah, but… I thought we had that version taken down pretty quickly, didn’t we? I’m sure there weren’t many views on it before the edited one got uploaded… right?”, I said, trying to hide the ever-increasing panic in my voice. There was no response. “Guys… surely it couldn’t have gotten that many views…”
Fumio’s blank stare pierced me like a dart. “You don’t wanna know, man. You. Don’t. Want. To. Know.” His gaze was cold and unwavering. I didn’t know if it was a serious one or not, but all I knew is that this video’s view count was forbidden knowledge, and any mortal who possessed it would be smited - not by the gods, but by Mr. Fumio Kogane.
The fire quickly started roaring as Taisuke violently stabbed it with the poker. We turned to see him standing behind the fire pit with his back turned. Through the flames, his bright red hair nearly blended in to create a truly powerful and terrifying presence. Now holding his guitar, he was effortlessly playing what sounded like a perfect recreation of a song that would play during the final duel of an American Western. He began to speak, his voice sounding deeper. It sent a chill down our spines. “Comrades. We need not discuss the view count further. Whether it was hundreds, thousands, millions, or even tens of people who saw that clip, it is entirely irrelevant. What truly matters… are the clips that weren’t taken down.” He slowly turned around to look us in the eyes. His expression was devilish. “Let us not forget… the fate of those who succumbed to viral internet infamy… Now, before we send our brother Genjo Sazama off on the adventure of a lifetime, I have just one last question for you all…”
“...Why the hell is there a chicken foot in your ramen?”
And just like that, in perfect harmony, we all knew to yell, “MY MOM MADE IT THAT WAY, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
With that, we had completely forgotten about everything that had been worrying us all night. Amidst all of the jokes and the subsequent laughs… amidst Taisuke’s amazing performances of cheesy American cowboy duel songs (and our questionable vocal backing)… and even Fumio prying away at us about what the hell Taisuke meant by ‘oddly flirtatious’ messages… we forgot to worry about the future. There were no more thoughts about whether or not we were all making the right choices. All we cared about was that the choices that we had made brought us here together for one final night. And if you ask me…
These two fools could’ve ended up with a much worse third fool than me.
Eventually we all fell asleep. Actually, to be honest, I was still a bit restless. I mean, how can you not be on the night before your life changes forever? I took a glance over at my phone to check the time: 4:37 A.M. Shit. Good thing I already pre-packed my bags before they got here.
So many thoughts raced through my brain at once. Do I even really need to sleep? I could just sleep on the plane, right? Mom and Dad won’t mind if I seem a little bit drowsy in the car… oh who am I kidding, Dad’ll mind. Did I leave an extra energy drink in the fridge just in case? Never mind, there’s no way Taisuke didn’t drink it earlier. Is my MP3 player charged? If not, I hope there’s a charger on the plane. Wait, do planes have charging ports?
Somehow, I finally managed to drift away to sleep before sunrise.