15: The River Flows

The darkness engulfs him, clouding his vision. His voice ceases to be. But not his determination.

Who are your friends,

if not more dead bodies to count?

Familiar decapitated heads appear.

The end is approaching,

Their ends.

but your end is almost here.

Jack recoils at the gruesome sight before him. He can see it clearly for some reason, despite his sight being stripped away. His face twists in disgust as he beholds his colleagues' severed heads. This is just a parlor trick, Jack, do not give in, Jack tells himself. He refuses, once again, to be overtaken by fear.

So stubborn, is he not?

These may be the bodies of my colleagues, Jack trembles as a tear rolls down his cheek, but their spirits live on in me. Their sacrifices shall never be forgotten. We won't let them be memories. I won't let them be memories. I won't...

Jack keeps repeating like a feverish man. His eyes well up in tears, and Jack never thought he could cry, until today.

If the end is approaching, Jack's thoughts are a mixture of sadness and rage. I will meet it head-on. I must honor their memory by carrying on the fight. They would've understood. I know they would.

Jack glares at the abyss. It stares back.

What is your name?

Jack is pulled back by confusion, wondering whether the voice genuinely wants to know, or is just playing tricks with him.

Jack, he responds firmly. Jack Rivers.

Rivers?

Yes, Rivers, Jack repeats. That's my name.

Heh, a secret name? That name never popped up in your file.

Jack's heart skips two beats. Despite the shock of being exposed, he quickly takes in small breaths to not let himself be rattled. How did it get the file? Jack puzzles.

You know I can still hear your thoughts, right?

Doesn't matter much now, Jack straightens up and rolls on his back.

Rivers... is a name I chose for myself, Jack's thoughts are steady despite the turmoil within him. I strive to be like a river, to adapt and overcome, carving my path through whatever rocks or mountains in my way.

He takes another deep breath, stretching his arms and staring into the abyss, which he assumes is where the annoying voice resides.

And while it may not appear in my file, Jack continues, it is who I am. What I vow to be.

Truly interesting.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Jack Rivers. He adapts.

Jack, you should understand by now that not only are you putting your,

excuse my swearing, justice-obsessed ass in mortal danger,

but you're dragging everyone with you, too.

What? Jack jolts upward.

You see these heads, Jack? These people have families. Innocents, Jack.

You think you can carry on the fight? For them? Jack, think about the people who can't fight!

CORE will kill all of them. It doesn't matter if you work alone, they will kill anyone for even knowing you.

Joe, Elsha, everyone.

And for the sake of justice and blah, blah, and blah, you will strike them down. You, and only you.

How naive.

You can't even appreciate the life that was given to you. How can you appreciate theirs?

That's enough! Jack punches his head to make the cruel voice stop. A futile effort.

Goddamnit! What do you know about me? He desperately hits his head, over and over. I've been trying to save everyone! I tried, and tried, and for Christ's sake, if I didn't appreciate their lives I wouldn't have taken this fucking job!

And I'm telling you that your efforts will kill them, Jack.

The more you try to help, the more people get hurt.

I can get you out of here, but you must give me a better reason than just justice.

Jack stops as he hears the voice's offer. Though the prospect of escape is tempting, he knows that striking a shady deal could bring dire consequences. But hate it or not, the voice is right. Positioning himself back up, Jack takes steady, deep breaths, calming his frayed nerves. After fully regaining his composure, Jack wipes away his tears. There is no use lashing out like a child now. Jack knows what he needs to do.

I appreciate the offer, Jack replies cautiously, but I cannot compromise my principles for the sake of personal gain. My commitment to justice is unwavering, and I won't abandon it.

But, Jack raises a finger. As much as it aggravates me, I must admit you're right. Austen Boulevard was just the beginning, he holds his face in frustration. We were lucky there were no civilian casualties, but how long will that last? Perhaps, at this very moment, someone innocent is getting killed.

You can fault me for being stubborn, he points at himself, but please don't blame those innocent lives. Please send me back, so I can save them.

How about, when you’re done with all those things, promise me you will find another reason to live?

There is much to live for, no need for more pain.

Take long walks at the beach, and drink some tea.

Catch up with books. Start a family of your own.

Jack's heart softens at the voice's words, touched by the unexpected compassion amidst the chaos around him. But that softness is quickly replaced by skepticism. Why would this unknown force care so much about him?

I'm sorry, I can't make that promise, Jack’s head feels like it will burst under pressure, not until I know your true intention. What do you want?

Why do you care what I want, Determined One?

The situation you are in right now is not of my action, but your own.

Why do you seek to erase evil, when evil is inside each and every one of us?

I will reiterate, Jack.

You will fail and die, if you keep going the way you are now. Not all conflicts can be solved with brute force.

But I am willing to help you.

Your only choice of saving everyone, is me.

So what is your plan now, O’ Determined One?

Jack ponders the possibility of accepting a deal with this otherworldly entity, questioning whether it is helping him out of benevolence or malevolence. Sooner or later, he will have to make a decision. His wits at its end, Jack makes the choice.

I promise, Jack replies. Once this ends, I will find another reason to live. How about that?

Your reply seems insincere.

Well, I am a man of my word, Jack wipes the sweat off his brows, but I will only do that if I complete my mission. So please, if you're able, send me back.

He takes a soft breath, his heart a bit lighter upon imagining a brighter future for everyone in the city, himself included. But doubts and uncertainty linger in the back of his mind. The voice's conviction still echoes in his ears. Can he do it? Can he save everyone? Jack swiftly kicks those thoughts off his mind. After all, such a future only exists in fairy tales.

But is that not what Jack has wanted since his first day at the agency?

Okay, see you again. Maybe.

With that, the voice leaves.