This has to be the best kidnapping I've ever been a part of. If they had a medeival yelp I'd rate this 4/5 stars. I took a star off for them poking me with that spear on the way in, but everything else has just been top notch. They brought me in, told me to sit at a table and be quiet (yay they speak the language). Then they brought me some cooked rabbit and fruit and got down to interrogating me. If you could call it that. I certainly wouldn't.
They asked me a series of questions, what is my name, where I'm from, what spells I knew, if I planned on harming the village. All pretty basic stuff really, they didn't tie me down or whip me or anything (though if that big titted blonde elf over there wanted to, I wouldn't object). I got the impression they were more scared of me than I was of them. Maybe they thought I was holding back. Well, I was, but only about my origin, I'm not really sure whether people here are used to people from other worlds or something. If there is a prophecy though, I'm high-tailing the fuck out. Prophecies involve sacrifices and I'm not very selfless.
After giving me the quick shake-down the first old looking elf I'd seen came forth. Up until this point they were pretty much big titted elven supermodels and Calvein Klein looking fellas all in the prime of their life. I assume this is their leader. If these are like elves from our lore then for all I know he could be a few thousand years old or something. This motherfucker right here could be Jesus's uncle or something. No, not Jesus your gardener. *bathes in sjw tears*
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
I can tell this old man has wisdom far beyond what I could possibly imagine. This man has probably seen civilizations crumble and fall empires crumble into dust. Entire lineages wiped out in the sands of time. Leave us, he says to the elves in the room. They smoothly walk out of the room. I can't help but glance at a few of the shapely elves hind-quarters. Shit, the old man is watching me be calm, prepare an apology if needed. I don't need him striking me down with some ancient fire from narnia or some shit. This old man could probably beat me six ways to sunday with his dick in a vice.
The old man looks me deep in my eyes. I can feel him boring into my soul. This is it, this is how I die, again. Justin is it? Yes, yes sir I respond. Good, good, now tell me boy. What do you think of the blonde ones ass, isn't it just perfect? This sends me reeling. I'm not sure how to respond. Uh, it's pretty nice I guess, I admit sheepishly. You guess? YOU GUESS, he roars. A man must have conviction on three things in his life! What to hunt, what to fight, and most importantly, WHAT TO FUCK! Huh, what? What's going on here? Dear lord the elven sage is a pervert. I can work with this!