Emryn didn’t want to be here. All morning, before the sun had even risen, the room was full of irksome noises and empty air. The beats and rings of monitors only reminded her of the labs. She couldn’t stand it. So she decided if they wouldn’t let her out, she’d have to break out.
It wasn’t hard to break the door handle. Her body had recovered enough strength to move and sallice in her veins provided her with the muscle to properly break the metal to pieces. Although it wasn’t the most inconspicuous escape, it was the most efficient.
Emryn’s senses, however, hadn’t recovered enough to hear Zaiden on the other side of the door. She froze. Metal in her hands, a broken door behind her; she was afraid to look up for fear of what she might see. But with one glance up she noticed Zaiden crack a smile, the first genuine one in days.
“That’s definitely one way to open a door,” he joked. She met his gaze and found her own lips lifting.
“I didn’t like the idea of being stuck in there,” she said. “Might’ve become claustrophobic.”
Zaiden nodded. “You don’t have to explain,” he whispered, then gave a tired blink, his previous smile gone. “I came here to apologize,” he started. “About yesterday. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. At least not in such a harsh way. I know you’re worried about Malcolm. Truth is, I am too.”
Emryn glanced down and took a deep breath. “Then why are you letting them do this?”
Zaiden stuffed his hands in his pockets, tipped his head back and sighed. Their eyes met again. A mirror of unspoken pain. “I don’t have a choice.” Zaiden took a step closer. They stood only a few breaths apart. He was close enough to touch but Emryn resisted.
“I follow orders like they’re wired into my brain. Sometimes I think I'm more machine than person.” He said it so quietly, as if he didn’t realize he’d even spoken.
Zaiden cleared his throat, throwing his calm facade back on. “I’ll take you to see Malcolm before he and Elias head out.”
Emryn perked up. “Really?”
“Yes but we should go now—” Emryn wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, nustling her face against his neck. She felt his pulse spike but didn’t pull back.
“Thank you,” she whispered, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
A small blush creeped through his tawny complexion. Then he gently grabbed her chin and guided her lips to his. Emryn’s eyes fluttered shut and she knew she’d never get used to this feeling. As Zaiden held her closer and moved his lips against hers, she couldn’t stop her breath from catching.
She felt his hand trail the lines of her shoulder, down her arm until it met the tips of her fingers. The disfigured metal scrap in her palm was slowly taken. It clicked as Zaiden threw it aside, too much of a hiderance. Once gone his hand took its place. He pulled her impossibly closer. Emryn lightly collapsed against his chest.
Zaiden guided her hand until it met his back, her fingers barely grazing the skin under his shirt.
She was so distracted. By his warmth, his breath, his everything.
Until a certain blonde general popped into her head. She needed to see him before he left. She needed to get him to stay somehow.
Zaiden noticed her hesitance and slowly pulled away just far enough to look into her peculiar eyes. He offered her a thin smile, closed his eyes and rested his forehead against her shoulder.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. Then he lifted his head and held her hand tighter. “We should go see them off.”
Zaiden began leading her down the corridor towards where she presumed Malcolm was. Emryn stared at where the hand met and fingers locked.
Do you love him?
She still couldn’t say, didn’t understand what it meant to truly love unconditionally.
“Zaiden?” She lightly tugged on his arm. He paused, looking at her with swirling emotion. “What am I to you?”
Something flashed through his eyes. He looked down and smiled. But it seemed broken, hidden behind too many cracks. His eyes met hers when he said, “Someone I don’t want to lose.” His hand gently squeezed her fingers. “I protect you and you protect me, remember?”
Emryn’s heart swelled. Maybe that’s what it meant to love.
—//——////——//—
The garage was lively and boisterous upon entry. High concrete ceilings and metal doors shielded the trucks and machinery from weather, and bright white lights hung overhead while voices echoed through the cement canopy. People were too busy fixing and wiring various creations to notice Emryn and their commander walk by. Ants in a colony.
Tilting her head up, Emryn could see the glass tunnels Simone took her through earlier. It seemed like forever ago now.
“They’re down there.” Zaiden pointed straight ahead, where Malcolm and Elias stood next to the two-manned Hummingbird. Its metal wings looked even flimsier up close.
Dread filled her stomach when she saw who else had decided to show up. The Supreme Commander somehow managed to look smug and empty at the same time. Emryn was already itching to hit him and he hadn’t even spoken.
“Zaiden,” he started, then glanced at Emryn. “And others.”
“Father.” Zaiden inclined his head into a swift nod. “We’ve come to see the soldiers off.” It was still odd to see the blatant shift in Zaiden every time his father was near. Itching for respect and love but knowing full well he’d never actually get it.
The Supreme Commander picked at a piece of lint on his sleeve. “Is that all?” He sounded annoyed. Anyone could have picked up on the verbal eyeroll he sent his kid. He glanced over his shoulder at Elias and Malcolm. “Make it quick.”
Emryn watched the older man brush off through the corridor, completely unbothered he was sending two of his top men on a suicidal mission. She shouldn’t have expected anything less.
Zaiden took that time to walk over to Malcolm and envelope him in his arms. A tight hold to say what words couldn’t. Malcolm murmured something into Zaiden’s shoulder but she couldn’t hear it.
Elias’ voice geared Emryn’s attention away from the scene. “You gonna miss me?” he joked.
She looked him up and down. “No.”
His face fell. “Harsh.”
She didn’t care. His feelings meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Not compared to Malcolm.
Rushed footsteps pounded against the tiled floor. Simone and Alex were running towards the group, breaths heavy and sure as they moved. Alex wrapped his arms around Malcolm, who barely had enough time to let go of Zaiden.
Emryn still stood frozen in place. Even though she knew this was happening she couldn’t fathom the idea she might lose another person she cared for.
Maybe she could convince him to stay close to her and Zaiden where he’d be safe. But she struggled to come up with the words. There weren’t any strong enough to make him stay and disobey orders from the Supreme Commander.
“Emryn.” She flinched and lifted her head up to see Malcolm right in front of her. Her senses really had gone haywire.
The others were saying their goodbyes to Elias, oddly cheerful and confident he’d return. They hadn’t even seemed concerned for Malcolm. No one except Zaiden and her. This was just another mission for the books but Emryn refused to see it that way. Not after she saw just how crumpled Zaiden was about it. Too much could go wrong, why couldn’t anyone else see that? Why wasn’t Zaiden stopping it?
“Emryn?” She had been staring.
“Don’t go,” she demanded. Though maybe it was closer to a plea.
Malcolm’s calm eyes cracked. “I don’t have a choice.”
That wasn’t what she had wanted him to say. He was supposed to agree or assure her everything was alright. He wasn’t supposed to just confirm her worries.
“This isn’t a normal mission.”
“No,” he whispered. “It’s not.” He straightened up, putting on an act of acceptance. “This is goodbye.”
Emryn stepped closer. “Why?” She grabbed onto his jacket, eyes narrow. “This doesn’t make sense.” Part of her was breaking. “Tell me what’s actually going on.”
Malcolm swallowed down his cool and collected self for a fraction of a moment. “There isn’t time.” He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. When he glanced back down his old self was back.
Emryn was about to ask for more, for any kind of clarification, when he abruptly pulled her in. Firm hands held her tightly in place against his chest and his lips brushed her ear. Fingers threaded through her hair as he angled her head towards him. “Avoid the surgery. Run away if you can.” Then he pulled away just as quickly.
His face gave nothing away. It was as though he hadn’t said anything at all. Meanwhile Emryn was reeling.
What did that mean? Why did he warn her against the surgery? Was he referring to the one she was to get today? What would happen if she didn’t listen?
Why didn’t things make sense anymore?
Emryn reached her hand out to pull him back in but Elias got in the way. “We’re heading out now.” He spoke so coldly, all the jokes from earlier were gone. “We’ll be back soon.” He was lying. Emryn didn’t even need her advanced senses to see it.
They were boarding the Hummingbird and all Emryn could do was watch. No. She still needed answers. Her arm came up and she called to her power. But it didn’t respond, only tiny tendrils of pain traveled down her skin.
A warm hand grasped hers. Alex. When he smiled at her, he only looked broken.
Emryn's hair wisped in her eyes and the Hummingbird started to fly. And she stood, dazed as she watched Malcolm inside. He wouldn’t look at her. The garage doors opened and they left. Just like that.
—-///——-///\\\——-\\\—-
Emryn did what Malcolm asked. When she and Zaiden returned to the medical bay, she turned all the doctors away and refused to get the surgery. Avoid it. Even if she didn’t know why, she’d listen to that blonde idiot's advice. There was always an invisible force pushing her forward when it came to Malcolm. A hidden drive she couldn’t yet name.
Zaiden didn’t question her about it, for which she was glad, but he grew even more tense. He was hiding something from her, she was sure of it. She just didn’t know what.
And when she also tried to ask about Seth, Zaiden always froze up. Those conversations never went far. But she did learn where he was being kept from Simone.
“It’s one of the underground rooms. Lowest level. Not quite a prison cell but plenty of guards to keep him put.”
Emryn could work with that. All she needed to do was find a room with soldiers guarding it. Seemed easy enough.
Maybe she could figure out how much Seth knew about the inner workings of Abrax. And then hope to figure out how she could do the same. There were too many secrets here. They acted like shadows. Out of sight but always there.
The next day when she was finally ready to go look for him, she was stopped by a hand on her arm.
“I don’t think it's a good idea,” Zaiden drawled.
“I just need to see him. Even if it’s only for a little bit.” Emryn threw her jacket on and headed for the door. Zaiden’s room was starting to become cramped. Her stomach had felt tight when she entered. And only when she turned to leave did she feel at ease.
When had things changed?
Zaiden followed close behind her. “Emryn, they're not going to let you in.”
Emryn whirled around to face him. “Then make them.” There was a fire in her, and at that moment Zaiden knew better than to try and put it out. He nodded then brushed in front of her to lead the way. From behind it was easier for Emryn to see the ache in his back, the pressure pulling his shoulders down. Once she had seen Seth her next order of business was to finally question Zaiden more about what was bothering him so much.
They arrived at the lower levels quickly. Emryn took in the sight of the heavily fortified door and armed guards meaning their stations. They wore uniforms matching Zaiden’s father’s. Most of their faces were covered but she could still see the disdain when they spotted her. Still no trust among the high commander’s lackeys.
“Open the door,” Zaiden ordered. The guards didn’t move. “That was an order, soldier.”
The lanky one on the left spoke first. “We don’t take orders from you.”
Zaiden’s eye grew dark, his face a calm mask of power. He took a step forward. Then another. Until he stood a hair’s breadth away from the man. “Today you will.” His finger flicked the emblem on the soldier’s chest. “Unless you want to lose this badge you’re so proud of.”
The two men exchanged looks. Emryn watched as the shorter one’s jaw ticked, then he signaled the other to open the door. Zaiden stepped back and grabbed Emryn’s hand, leading her through into a large dark room. Two guards were stationed on the inside as well but one look from Zaiden sent them on their way.
The only things illuminating the space were the screens of machines and a spotlight on Seth’s chained body. He was seated on the floor, looking more annoyed than ever when he saw Zaiden. However, he did liven up when he saw Emryn. His lips turned up into a slow grin.“Here to gloat, Sunshine?”
Her fingers slipped out of Zaiden’s grasp. She stood in front of a large set of bars separating her from Seth. A scene she had seen so many times before. Sorrow swelled inside the pit of her stomach. No, she wasn’t here to gloat.
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Emryn eyed the chained wrapped around Seth’s torso, binding him together then leading to hooks on the wall. Seth sat on his knees and looked up at her, grin gone. He watched her and understood the memories this brought.
She glanced over her shoulder at Zaiden, leaned against the doorway, as she struggled to keep her composure. “Could you give me a minute alone?” Then before he could argue added, “Please?”
Zaiden’s lips pressed shut. He scanned Seth and once he deemed she wasn’t in any danger, nodded and was out the door.
“Careful,” Seth said, “do you think sending your guard dog away was the right choice?”
“Don’t.” She turned back to him, tears threatening to fall. “Don’t do that right now.”
A puff of air left Seth's lips and he leaned back. “Why are you here Emryn?”
“I needed to see you.”
“And now that you have?”
“I don’t really know,” she admitted. “Everything feels so wrong. No one will tell me anything. Seth, I don't know how to fix this. I don’t know how to please everyone. I don’t know how to keep anyone safe.” If only things could go back to the way they used to be. She tried to stammer out the rest of her worries but it quickly shifted to mumbles.
“You can’t,” he said. “That’s the harsh reality of this world. You can’t save everyone and you can’t have everything. You wouldn’t be the first who has tried and failed, Emryn, you only get to choose. And now you have.”
“I didn’t–” She cut herself off. The words felt like tar on her tongue. That was the thing, she did choose. She chose Abrax over Seth. “I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m trying to figure out what the right thing to do is.”
“I know.”
Emryn blinked away her tears. “You know?”
Seth smiled. Oh how she had missed that smile. “I know you and I know what it’s like to want to protect everyone.” A light laugh filled the air. “Believe me, Sunshine, I know.”
“I’ll try to protect you from them. I swear it.” And she would. Even though Abrax had him in chains she wouldn’t let them hurt him. Not anymore than they already have.
Seth looked down at his chains. A sad grin decorated his face. “You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”
Emryn clutched the bars between them and slid down to the floor. “But I–”
“When given the choice between me or them, who would you choose?”
Emryn shook her head. “I don’t know,” she stuttered. Him or them.
“Yes, you do.” Seth leaned closer. “Look at where we are.” He pulled back and shrugged. “You already know who you’d choose because you’ve already made the decision.”
Emryn closed her eyes, willed back her tears. This wasn’t what she wanted, not really, but here they were.
“You should focus on protecting the others that matter to you,” Seth said, looking into her eyes again. “That ax wielder, the four eyes, Amin and Malcolm.” Emryn couldn’t contain her laugh when Seth called Alex foureyes, it distracted her from the fact that he had called Malcolm by name.
“Seth, how do you know–”
“We need to go,” Zaiden said from the door. Emryn realized she really didn’t like not having reliable senses.
“Protect them, Emryn,” Seth whispered.
After discreetly wiping her eyes, Emryn stood and followed Zaiden. “What happened?”
“My father,” was all he said when they were safely down the hall away from listening ears. “I’ll take care of it.” He looked at her a little closer. Fingers brushed her’s and she clasped his hand fully.
Even though she got the chance to see Seth, she still had so much more she wanted to ask him. So much she wanted to say. But she was grateful for Zaiden’s heavy arm around her, for without it she feared she’d collapse.
-//—//\\---\\-
In the days that followed, Emryn spent most time staring out of the small window in her room waiting for a sign of Malcolm’s return, the flower there already long dead. If she wasn’t in her room she was trying to convince Zaiden to bring her to Seth again or ignoring Dr. Palai every time she came by. She was determined to get Emryn to have the surgery. Her words were always sweet as sugar but her demeanor was more linked to a cane.
“Why won’t you get the surgery?” Zaiden finally asked when they were alone together. Seated shoulder to shoulder on her bed. Emryn could feel every breath he took.
Eyes still cast towards the window she said, “I’ll get the surgery when Malcolm comes back.”
His fingers twirled in her hair. Then he gave her that look, the one that said he cared. The one that used to speak volumes. “Promise?” Emryn looked into his deep hazel eyes. Then she nodded.
Zaiden pressed a kiss to her lips and then another to her hairline. “Okay.” He held her closer.
-//—//\\---\\-
The news arrived at dawn. A broken hummingbird was in the skies, flying home. Emryn arrived at the garage seconds after Alex and Simone. “They’re back?”
“It looks like it.” Emryn noticed the bags under Alex’s eyes first, then his unkempt hair and pale skin and wondered when he had started to show signs of worry. Simone had to practically pull him to the ship. A large group had gathered to welcome their officer back but Emryn didn’t spot Zaiden anywhere.
Elias was laughing in the crowd as people welcomed him home. He had a bruise under his eye and dried blood crusted to his lip. A little worse for wear but still in one piece. It gave her hope the same could be said for Malcolm, but she didn’t see him. He wasn’t with Elias.
Emryn panicked. She searched the group again, thinking she must have just missed him. He was fine, he had to be.
But he wasn’t there.
Simone grabbed her arm and tried to soothe her, but the light brushes down her back was not going to keep Emryn’s heart from pulsing out of her chest. “I’m sure he’s fine,” Simone said. Well that made one of them.
“Emryn.” Emryn spun around to see Zaiden striding towards her. His hand immediately found hers. “Calm down.” Emryn swallowed down her panic as best she could.
“Where is he?” she asked, not even having to specify who.
Zaiden looked down and avoided her eyes. Not the answer she was hoping for. “He got hurt pretty bad. They’re keeping him under close observation. It’s unclear whether he’ll survive.” That wasn’t the answer she wanted either.
“Where?” The distress turned to desperation in an instant.
“You’re not allowed to see him,” he said slowly.
Emryn ripped her hand from his and backed away. “What do you mean I’m not allowed to see him?” Simone tried to take her arm again but Emryn dodged her touch. Alex stayed quiet off to the side. He probably knew before Emryn too. Apparently everyone was keeping secrets from her now.
“It’s complicated,” Alex offered but pressed his month closed once Emryn glared at him.
“I don’t care,” she said. She looked at Zaiden again, not letting him get any closer. “Take me to him.”
Zaiden clenched his jaw. He tended to do that a lot lately. “I can’t,” he breathed out, as if he was in pain. Emryn’s resolve momentarily faltered.
“Fine," she said. She straightened her back and put on the mask Zaiden was so accustomed to wearing. She could act calm too. The change scared them. Each set of eyes on her was widened by shock and terror. They feared what she might do and for once Emryn didn’t care, not even if that fera was from them. Emryn started walking. She refused to look back at them.
“Where are you going?” Zaiden asked, a bit of anger coming out.
“To my room,”she lied and glanced over her shoulder. “Let me know when I’m allowed to see Malcolm.”
Zaiden strolled after her. A calloused hand grabbed her arm and spun her around. “He just needs some space right now.” He sounded desperate. Maybe that’s what caused the irregular palpitations of his heart. But Emryn knew better.
She leaned in close. “Don’t lie to me,” she whispered. Emryn brushed his hand off and walked down the corridor, throwing one last statement over her shoulder. “Maybe I need space too.”
Zaiden didn’t follow this time.
Emryn waited until things died down, biding her time in the commons room or mess hall and avoided Zaiden and the others. She knew she wouldn’t get their help. Her only hope was listening to the buzzing gossip between soldiers. Her hearing had gone back to normal since the overuse of her powers. Now she could pick up on the conversations around her.
“It’s a shame about the general. I hope he recovers.” The voice belonged to an older man leaning against the wall by the door, so short he was almost hidden behind the couch a couple sat at.
“It’s not looking good,” another man responded. “They practically cleared out the fifth floor.”
“Quarantining?” the older asked.
“Guess so,” he shrugged. “Hope it’s not contagious.”
Sick? That didn’t add up with what little Zaiden had told her. Emryn stabbed her nails into her palms. She hoped it wasn’t Zaiden who lied.
Emryn rushed to the fifth floor, stopping only briefly to grab her chakram. If she needed to force her way to Malcolm she would.
“You can’t be here.” Emryn barely gave the guard enough time to finish talking. Her fist slammed into his jaw and he went tumbling to the floor. The other’s tried to act fast, aiming their weapons and yelling at her to stand down. But she was faster.
Emryn grabbed the nearest guard and pressed her blade to his throat, swinging him in front of her to use as a shield if necessary. “Open the door,” she said, slowly, like an animal on the prowl. The guard squirmed in her hand and she pressed against him harder. “You might want to do it before I open him.” The man’s thick blood was already starting to drip down her arm but the others showed no signs of relenting. One reached for the trigger of her gun.
Emryn threw the man towards her and rushed forward. She crushed the muzzle of the gun and lashed out with her blade, cutting the guard’s face. She screamed and stepped back, as if that would be enough to keep Emryn away.
Protect them. She had promised herself she would and nothing was going to get in the way now.
Emryn’s power illuminated the room. The guards were all simultaneously thrown into the wall. The bang echoed through her ears. She only hoped there was no one close enough to hear it too.
Fingers threaded through the hair on one guard’s head as Emryn brought their face up to the screen by the door. The panel lit up in recognition, the metal slabs opened, and Emryn threw the already passed out guard.
The room was dark. There were a few machines glowing green and beeping, their cords connecting to the man on the mattress. Emryn released a breath when she realized what that meant. Her eyes then lowered to Malcolm and that brief relief disappeared.
Sweat dripped down his body, and in place of a shirt was a wrap of white bandages. He had to lean back on his elbows to keep his eyes on her. Eyes that seemed dull and tired. Sick. Dying.
Emryn rushed towards his bed, lying on the floor, and wrapped him tightly in her arms. He winced and she quickly drew back. Liquid ran down her hand, slick and warm. Horrified, Emryn slowly brought it to her face. Red, clotted blood painted her fingers.
Malcolm’s hand grabbed hers. “I was hoping it’d be you.” He tried to smile but all Emryn saw was pain.
He’d been stabbed. And now he bled.
Emryn shook. It was just another bad dream, that’s all. “You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” She sobbed. “You’re fine.”
“Stop,” he trembled. A weak voice with so much power. He gripped her tighter. “I needed it to be you.”
“What do you mean? Malcolm what happened? Why are you– Who did this?”
Cold hands held her chin up. Emryn’s eyes met his intense gaze with sorrow. This couldn’t be real. Malcolm was an unstoppable force. A soldier. A fighter. He didn’t belong on a sick bed, laid down unattended and dying as if he no longer mattered.
“I need you to listen to me,” he said. “There isn’t much time.”
Emryn shook her head. Mumbled out rambles as if they were logic. “You need the doctor,” she trailed. Her body slid from the bed, her mind in a haze. “I need to get a doctor.”
A tight iron grip held her wrist hostage. “Please, Emryn. I need you to stay and listen. There are things I have to tell you before it's too late. If you hadn’t shown up now I would've carved the words into my arms.” She turned around and collapsed next to him, her breaths shallow then deep. “I need you to listen. Can you do that for me?” She nodded. Malcolm sighed in relief. “Good girl.”
Emryn’s eyes drifted to his wrapped torso. Bits of red were starting to bleed through the white linen, she couldn’t contain her tears. But calloused fingers wiped them away as they fell.
“I haven’t been honest with you.”
Emryn looked up. “What do–” Malcolm’s thumb pressed her lips closed.
“Everyone here has been lying to you and you’re in danger if you stay.”
“I would know if they’re lying.”
“People can lie with more than just words.” Malcolm’s broken quiet tone cracked her resolve. “I’ve been doing it for years.” He avoided her eyes. “I’m a soldier from Mallax. I was sent here to spy and feed back information so we could avoid casualties. I was sent here when I was fifteen and I climbed the ranks to earn trust and gain access. I’ve known about every attack before they happened and I know about Seth’s abilities as well as your relation to him.”
Emryn leaned back. “What?”
He gulped and continued. “They found out and sent me on a false mission to kill me in a way that would avoid suspicion while also securing the facade that every high ranking soldier is loyal. Elias was supposed to kill me, make it look like an accident and bring my body back so the people could mourn, but I fought back. When he stabbed me I guess he had a little heart to heart and couldn’t bring himself to finish me off. He brought me back and now they’re waiting for me to waste away. ”
Emryn’s heart was pounding in her ears. Too much was happening all at once she didn’t know how to process.
“And I’m not the only one who’s been lying.” He grabbed her bicep, not to keep her still but to use her weight as support. “Abrax and the laboratory you grew up in are one in the same.”
Everything went numb. “No,” she stuttered. “They can’t. That doesn’t make sense.” She struggled to stay upright, hands holding onto Malcolm as they both used eachother as a crutch. Half of her worried for the man in front of her while the other wanted to lash out at him for saying these things. She shook vigorously. “You’re lying,” she cried.
“They stole kids from other factions and held up a self-righteous pretense that they were the ones saving us. Most civilians have no idea. The meeting back then was about you and how to contain you if you lashed out. Only the people highest up know the truth. They’ve been trying to recapture Seth for years once they realized he was their missing perfect match from the labs.” Malcolm had never looked more disconsolate. “I’m sorry, Emryn.”
Everything inside Emryn’s brain screamed at her to believe him, even though she wanted nothing more than to find out he was lying. She took a few breaths to settle her nerves. Then hesitantly asked, “Did Zaiden know?”
Malcolm’s head lowered downcast and Emryn’s heart sank with it. “Zaiden’s a good person,” he said, almost to convince himself. “But he can never go against his father, not before you came in.”
Her shoulders sagged. Every word, every touch, and unspoken thought went through her mind. This was a new kind of pain. She didn’t know a heart could feel so broken. She felt Malcolm bring her head down to his chest and his arms wrap around her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she cried. Her throat ached so bad she could have been screaming. “Why didn’t you say anything until now?”
“I’m sorry,” whispered before leaning her back to face him again. “When I met you, I didn’t know who you were, I thought I couldn't trust you. At the time the messages between Seth and I were rare. By the time I knew who you were you had already aligned yourself with Zaiden, I thought he had told you everything and I didn’t know if you would choose Seth over him, I couldn’t risk it. I’m sorry, I know I should've.” Malcolm coughed and flinched, suddenly reminding Emryn of his injury. It was like a switch flipped.
“We can talk more about this later.” She panicked. “I need to find someone to help you.”
Before she could move, both of Malcolm’s hands went to hers. He coughed again, blood spewing from his lips, and his head fell to her shoulder. “Wait,” he begged. Then used all the strength he had to hold himself up. He smiled, bright and beautiful. Warmth meant only for her. “I love you, Emryn.” Her heart skipped a beat. It was the first time she’d heard those words said towards her. “I never had the time to figure out in what way but I do know I love you, Emryn. And I needed you to know that before I go.”
“I- I feel for you Malcolm. I tore myself up with worry when you were gone. I look to you when I’m lost. I rely on you and care for you more deeply than I can say. I don’t know what it means to love but because of you I know what it means to feel. I felt everything with you.” The anger, annoyance, frustration and worry. But also the hope, humor and compassion. He had more than two sides to him and he had shown her all of it. “I don’t want you to go,” she cried. “I won’t let you. I can get Seth, make him heal you. He can stop all of this I just need-”
“It will be too late. You won’t be able to break him out in time,” he reasoned. “Emryn, please I don’t have much time left.”
“That’s exactly why I need to bring him to you!” Her breathing labored. “He’ll save you. I can get him here in time. You just need to hang on a little longer.” She stood but his hand latched onto hers. Emryn froze at the sound of his voice.
“Don’t leave me here,” he whispered. “Please, Emryn. I don’t want to die alone.” The pain in her chest was unlike anything she’d ever known. It caused her knees to collapse. Zaiden had once said love hurts, maybe this is what he meant. Emryn curled her body into Malcolm’s. His skin was cold to the touch. Those eyes usually so full of fight became bleak. His lips barely lifted into a sad smile once he realized she wasn’t leaving and he relaxed in her arms. Neither spoke as Emryn brought her head down to lightly kiss the space above his eyes. She tried not to let the tears fall. She couldn’t have the last thing he saw be her crying so she smiled instead.
“I’m here,” she whispered into his hair. “I’m right here.”
Emryn watched his chest rise and fall and listened to the weak beats of his heart, until moments later they both stopped.
Pain is just a reminder you're still alive.
And Malcolm’s pain was finally gone.