The sound of a parade of rushed footsteps woke Emryn up from her deep sleep. Lazily, she lifted her head up to see where the commotion was coming from. Just outside her door shadows danced rapidly. They were accompanied by a wave of voices. A large crowd was gathering outside her room, or more accurately, Zaiden’s.
She walked cautiously to the door and opened it wider. Groups of soldiers were stampeding down the halls. Off to do who knows what, while Malcolm and Zaiden were arguing about logistics. Emryn knew Abrax was preparing for another outing but she didn’t think it would be so soon. It was just yesterday that she overheard the higher ups talking about it. She had blocked most of it out because she was trying to focus on Alex. He had kept his promise and started teaching her the basics of reading and writing.
“I can handle it on my own. You should stay here,”Malcolm argued from across the hall. “The Supreme Commander’s orders were quite clear on it.”
“My father doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Zaiden countered. “I’m of better use out there than in here.”
Malcolm gave him an exasperated look, telling him to stop arguing. “He’s been running this place longer than you’ve been alive, Zaiden. I think he knows what he’s doing.”
Zaiden sighed, running a hand down his face. His eyes drifted to Emryn, still halfway behind her door. He tried to grin his worries away, but she saw right through his mask. Zaiden wanted in on Malcolm’s mission but the one person with more authority than him was standing in his way. His father.
Emryn had yet to meet the man but judging by Zaiden’s reactions to anyone mentioning him, she didn’t want to.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Zaiden sighed, still exhausted. “How’d you sleep?” He was holding an arm around his waist again. He must have been with his father recently. It was only ever something he did after visiting the Supreme Commander. Normally he’d cross his arms to make it seem more natural but he was too busy arguing to hold up that facade.
“Did you try to argue with your father about going on the mission?” Emryn asked, dodging his question with one of her own.
Zaiden’s eyes slightly widened. “No,” he stammered. “I didn’t argue with him about this mission.”
“But you did argue about something else?” Malcolm inquired, eyes trained on his commander.
“It’s not important right now,” Zaiden sighed, almost annoyed. His eyes bore into Malcolm’s, daring him to argue. Slowly, he turned his gaze back on Emryn. “You should go back in your room. You're not going on this mission either.” Emryn faltered. They still didn’t trust her. “You don’t need to waste your time out here when you’re not a part of it.”
Zaiden was frustrated and Emryn wasn’t used to his cold shoulder. He was usually the one to break through hers, she didn’t know how to get through his.
“You should go too, General,” Zaiden fumed, watching Malcolm. “You are leading the mission. It will look bad if you’re late.” Malcolm scrunched his eyebrows, clearly not used to Zaiden’s cold demeanor either.
Zaiden marched back into his room, slamming the door shut. Emryn had a feeling he was angry about more than just the mission. It was out of character to see him like this.
“What died in his bed this morning,” she heard Malcolm mumble. The other soldiers on this floor had already passed, and now that Zaiden was sulking in his room, it was just the two of them in the hall. Emryn didn’t like that. She wished that he would just leave already. Malcolm always made things too tense.
She was about to retire to her room when he spoke up again. “Keep an eye on him,” he instructed. “And don’t do anything stupid.”
Emryn glared. “I’m not going to do anything stupid,” she argued, fists clenched.
Malcolm arched a single brow. He was very expressive with them. “Sure you won’t.”
“I’m not stupid,” she grumbled. She really wanted to hit him but that wouldn't do well for her image.
“I didn’t say you were,” Malcolm stated and then left her to herself. She was fuming. Why was he so condescending? Now that he was no longer there, she rebuked her wish of him leaving. She still wanted to hit him.
Emryn spent hours in her room afterward. She kept listening for movement across the hall but no sounds could be heard. She was starting to question if Zaiden was still in his room. Eventually she grew bored and decided to hunt down Alex. Before leaving her room, she grabbed the notes and pens the two of them had been using during her lessons. If she couldn’t help Malcolm with his dumb mission then she’d spend her time improving her skills. She could still be productive without having to kill things. Emryn was more than a weapon. It was something she had to constantly remind herself of.
“What are you doing here?” Alex asked when she entered his underground office. It looked as messy as she remembered it. Papers thrown askew and boxes littering the floor. The green-blue light was reflecting off of his glasses even as he turned away from the monitors.
Emryn held up her notebook. “Can you spare a few moments?”
Alex grinned, shaking his head. “Come on,” he instructed, waving her over. She took the nearest seat to him and excitedly opened her notes to the next blank page. She flicked the cap off her pen and held it like he had taught her before.
“You're eager,” he joked, taking note of her excitement.
Emryn blushed, a little embarrassed. “I like learning new things,” she defended.
Alex nodded as if he understood. He probably had to learn a lot to get to where he was now. He had a skill set no one else here did. What he lacked in strength he made up for in wits.
Emryn ended up spending the rest of the day with him. Learning everything she could in the limited amount of time. Alex had to constantly split his attention between her and the screens but he didn’t seem to mind. Maybe he liked the company. Spending hours alone in a dark room wasn’t a pleasant thing after all. Emryn knew that too well.
“It’s getting late,” Alex noticed, glancing at the time. “You should head out. It’s not good to spend all your time here when you don’t have to.” Even though he was telling her to leave, he looked saddened by it, like he didn’t actually want her to go.
Emryn thought over her options. The confines of the small room had made her uncomfortable but she didn’t like the thought of leaving Alex alone. Simone was out on the supply run with Malcolm and would likely not be back for a few more days. Alex didn’t have anyone to keep him company.
Reluctantly, Emryn grabbed her things and left the room. Only offering a small wave as she went. When she came to a divide in the hall she stopped. One would bring her back to her rooms but the other led to the dinning hall. It was late but maybe they’d still have some food.
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Luckily when Emryn arrived, the food court wasn't empty yet. She quickly grabbed a plate of food, making sure not to get any pineapple. Rushing back through the halls was a bit harder with a plate but she was cautious enough not to spill.
Emryn pried open the door and set the plate in front of Alex. He let out a surprised yelp as the dish clanked against the table. With a hand over his chest he turned to Emryn with an exasperated look. “What are you-”
Emryn cut him off, “Simone usually brings you food, right?” Pointing a finger at the food, she said, with conviction in her voice “Eat.”
Alex blinked a few times, still thrown off by her sudden appearance. “I- uh-”
“Eat,” she commanded again. “I’m going to bed.” With that she left the office and went back upstairs to her quarters. She listened again for Zaiden but only heard the light sounds of sleep.
Satisfied, she went into her own room and collapsed on the bed. Thinking over the events of the day, Emryn recalled what Malcolm had told her before leaving. ‘Keep an eye on him’ he had said. Emryn was a little annoyed she’d actually listened to him. “Don’t do anything stupid,” she mocked, rolling her eyes. “I didn’t,” she scoffed. Great, now she was talking to herself.
As the night passed and Emryn grew restless, she wanted nothing more than to be on that mission with Simone and Malcolm. Well not with Malcolm. She would have preferred it if he wasn’t there.
The fact that they didn’t trust her enough wasn’t the only thing plaguing her mind. She hated being alone. The silence was something she hated even more. It was like a void; slowly taking the air out of the room and swallowing her whole. When she was alone, it was easy for agonizing memories to resurface. Since she had been at Abrax, her dreams have gotten better but pain was not so easily erased.
Emryn pulled the covers over herself tighter. The slight pressure reminded her of a hug but it wasn’t accompanied by the sound of a heartbeat. There wasn’t anyone holding her.
At that moment her eyes drifted to her chakram. It was resting on her nightstand. The reflection from the little bit of moonlight coming through shined in her eyes. Her name etched into the surface stood out against the smooth blade. The weapon was lying slightly under her notebook. Seeing the two so close gave her an idea.
Emryn pulled both items close to her and opened the book up to the page she spent the most time on. Seth’s name was spread out and repeated countless times. Learning how to spell it was one of the first things she did. Because if years down the road she forgot about his laugh or what he looked liked, at least she’d always have his name.
She ran a thumb over her own name engraved on the blade then rotated it so she was looking at the spot right next to it. Precision was one of the key things they taught her in the labs. It had taken her years to get to the level she was at now. But using her powers to engrave his name besides her own was one of the hardest things she had attempted with her powers. If she messed up she’d break the chakram. Emryn eyed the name written in her notebook, noting every curve until she was sure she could do it. The blue and gold light surrounded the blade and shined in her eyes. She tried to imagine writing it down with the pen. Slowly, the letters started to appear. One by one they were created until his full name was etched into the weapon.
Running her fingers over the groves, Emryn smiled. She knew that she’d never forget him and now, a little bit of him would travel with her wherever she went. Hugging the blade close, flat against her chest, she was finally ready to go to sleep.
When morning came the first thing Emryn did was march into Zaiden’s room. She had given him enough time to sulk, now she wanted her friend back. Zaiden was still asleep when she came in. He was lying on stomach with his arms wrapped around the pillow. The covers only went up to his upper back so she could see his dark muscled shoulders poking above the sheets. Emryn probably started longer than what would’ve been deemed appropriate.
Gently, Emryn shook his shoulders and then when he didn’t wake, she shook him harder. As his eyes fluttered open she wacked his head before she could stop herself. Zaiden flinched back, holding the area she hit and then narrowing his eyes. His head was barely above his pillow and his dark hair fell lazily over his face. His eyes were still tired from sleep but once he realized who woke him up he laid back down.
“Thought you were Malcolm,” he mumbled, voice still rough from sleep. Emryn tried not to get offended by his insinuation. She looked nothing like Malcolm. She also didn’t think she looked like a dude.
“You slept all day yesterday. Get up,” she commanded.
Zaiden rose his head again to look at her and then the clock by his bedside. He paused, heart beating a little faster, but on the outside he still looked stoic and calm. “Give me a minute,” he requested. Emryn scrunched her brows. How much sleep did the guy need? Noticing her hesitance, Zaiden rolled his eyes playfully and said, “I’m not going to sleep more, I just need to get dressed.”
“Oh.” Emryn’s cheeks reddened and she looked away. Now was not the time for the weird illness she seemed to get whenever he was around. Her heart was starting to annoy her. In a rush, she left the room and waited for him in the hall.
Zaiden walked out a few moments later, now fully dressed in his usual uniform. His expression when he saw her wasn’t as bright as it normally was. “I have to go see my father.” That explained his odd behavior. “I’m already late, so I’ll see you later. Thanks for waking me.” He tried to smile but it was still off. Emryn was half-tempted to follow him but thought better of it.
It wasn’t her place.
Emryn didn’t see Zaiden for the rest of the day. It was getting late but she was still waiting for him outside his room. She had visited Alex a few times, she even went to the gardens by herself, but she couldn’t stop the feeling of unease when she couldn’t find Zaiden. Sitting in her bed, eyes trained on the empty hall, she waited. Her open door provided a window to the hall where she could watch for him. She hated how worried she was.
Footsteps sounded from the hallway and she immediately shot up. Zaiden was walking slowly down the hall, movements a little strained. Emryn caught every single wince he tried to hide when he saw her. His stomach, she thought.
Without giving him much warning, Emryn gently wrapped him in her arms. He was a little shocked by it and let out a huff when she held him, but he relaxed into her rather quickly. She couldn’t contain the relief she felt to see him and feel that he was with her.
Emryn buried her head into the crook of his neck and his arms tightened around her waist. They held each other for a while before either said anything. “Malcolm’s group ran into some problems,” Zaiden whispered. That one sentence was enough to make panic spike through her veins, infecting her like a poison.
“What happened?”she stammered.
“It was Mallax. We weren’t able to get a lot of the details before the radio cut off but Malcolm was clear on one thing. It was Mallax,” he fumed. “O’Connor’s gonna pay.”
“Is anybody hurt?” Emryn didn’t want to think about what might have happened to Simone or even Malcolm. If they were hurt, she’d make O’Connor pay herself.
“We don’t know. When the message came through not a lot could be understood. We’ll have to wait until they get back.” Emryn tightened her grip on his shoulders and one arm slid down his side. She hated not knowing.
Zaiden flinched, causing Emryn to look up at him. His brows were pinched together but he wiped the pain away from his face and stared down the hall. Emryn noticed the placement of her arm and it clicked.
“Your father was angry with you about this, wasn’t he?”
Zaiden faltered, tensing. His hand stopped moving against her back. She hadn’t noticed what he was doing until he stopped. He pulled away and she immediately missed his warmth. When he looked at her again, he couldn’t meet her eyes.
“They should be back in a few days. I’ll give you updates when I get them.” He was redirecting the conversation again. “Have a good night.”
Zaiden left Emryn alone in the hall. She stared at his closed door, thinking that maybe it’d open again and Zaiden would stop ignoring her, tell her everything was fine, but it never opened.
Days passed and Emryn kept waiting. Zaiden never mentioned what was wrong with him and Emryn stopped asking. Instead their conversations were centered around the expedition group they were still waiting for. As time passed, she grew more worried. She wasn’t used to caring about so many people before. Emryn was scared that if she wasn’t around to protect them, she’d lose them.
She was sitting on her bed, fidgeting with her chakram when Zaiden burst through her door, Alex in tow. “Emryn,” Zaiden called from outside her roo. She perked up, literally on the edge of her seat. Please be good news. “They’re back.”
Emryn breathed out, relieved. They were back.
But when she looked at Alex’s face, she didn’t see relief, she saw dread.