Ashton Etrigan
Age: 28
Current Mass: 81 kg
Mental Status: Determined
Physical Status: Drained
My body was no longer normal, that much I understood. But the more time passed, the more I discovered just how much I had changed after my near-death experience. There were the obvious things, such as my pulse having disappeared, the lack of any signs of injuries from the explosion, and of course… My eyes. Then there were the more subtle things, like my resistance to temperature, the unending hunger pangs, and the appearance of the strange humming or buzzing that sounded like it came from inside my head along with fire that danced at the edge of my vision.
Lastly, the things that were most difficult to explain. For instance, at the convenience store, I was certain the diseased thief had managed to slash his knife across my chest. Except I had taken no damage. He’d also pulled off a perfect uppercut, but rather than my chin, his hand was the thing that broke. Then there was the focus I could achieve, where the world around me ceased to a halt, and the strength and stamina I suddenly had in abundance. It was all so overwhelming.
I had thus far not really dealt with the emotional trauma of that night. I knew I had to find the source of what was causing whatever was happening to me, but the only possible answer lay locked away in those burning memories, protected inside a metal briefcase with four digital coded locks.
I needed information. Something that could help me identify and categorize what was going on. And the only people I knew of that could possibly help were Deimos, my once best friend turned possible terrorist, and The Doctor, also known as Dr. Lucienne Astra, the woman who designed the answer to the world’s energy crisis. Only problem was I assumed both of them were dead. At least no one had heard anything about Dr. Astra, and no official casualty list had been released to the public yet. According to Lodestar's news channels, they were still excavating the area for potential undiscovered victims.
Then there was Deimos. Last I’d seen him he’d been bleeding from several bullet wounds. He’d been fighting with The Doctor over the briefcase, but despite a ruined leg, I’d gotten to it first. Emily had refrained from asking about him during the few days I’d been home, but I knew she was curious.
Not that I wasn’t curious myself, I just wasn’t ready to start going down that path just yet. Too many conflicting emotions made it difficult to decide what kind of outcome I was prepared to face. If he was alive, somehow, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask him a thousand questions, hit him, or just scream at him. If he was dead… I didn’t know if I would do anything at all.
No, there was no point going in that direction, not yet. Looking into Lodestar should be my first step, trying to find someone to talk to there. And I even had a way in.
I was sitting in our apartment living room after dinner, nursing a small cup of protein coffee. It tasted a little off, because of the synthetic powder mix, but the feeling of fresh caffeine was worth it. I’d been thinking about that tea drink Tyler had made me earlier, and how downing the whole thing in one gulp had shocked her so much. I figured that I might need to handle certain things with extra care in the future, unless I wanted to explicitly advertise the fact that there was something wrong about me.
“Play last year's recording of the Rose Nebula, speed at three hundred percent,” I muttered towards my smartband while sliding two fingers through the air. The band was sitting on the table, operating on stored power, projecting a moving image of the Star Chart, as well as a window with a bunch of lists I’d written. The view of the Star Chart changed, zooming in on my request, bathing the room in crimson and violet colors.
Then there were the lists I’d made. On the first, there were several names I’d taken from the contact sheet from Lodestar’s settlement contract. I’d chosen all the people I couldn’t also find using a simple name search, and added their mail info to the list.
On the second list I’d written down every detail I could think of pertaining to the changes I was going through. Everything Emily had told me that night I woke up, and up to my experiences at the gym last night. It wasn’t a very long list, and none of the points were very detailed either. I was working under the assumption that someone else had the information needed to properly explain all of it. That was what the first list was for.
It was the day after my weird workout. I’d gone home and made myself another large dinner that night, but saved some for when Emily would be home. Something was bothering me about Dylan and Vincent, the way they changed after asking me if I was sponsored. The wonder twins had seemingly come from nowhere, they weren’t even members at Supernova, and helped me right when I was about to fail. It was too coincidental to be true, and Tyler’s reaction to them only made it worse.
I made a general search on different social media sites, looking for either of the huge men, but without any last name there wasn’t much I could find. That, coupled with the image of Tyler’s expression fresh in my mind, turned worry into anxiety, and I had to stop before it got any worse.
A steady stream of stars had been necessary for me to fall asleep that night, despite the exhaustion that hit me after dinner. As the anxious thoughts swirled around in my head, so did the humming in my ears, almost like a substitute for the heartbeat I knew would have been thumping just as loudly in its wake.
In the blinking quiet light of a thousand tiny star systems, the hum was like the constant sound of a low bass note, vibrating inside my head. It had become the second most annoying part of my existence, and it only appeared when I least wanted it. Stress, anxiety, any situation where a person's heart rate would otherwise be elevated, I could count on it being there, making it all worse.
Eventually though, the projection from my smart band had calmed me down enough to fall asleep. I woke in the early morning from the clattering of plates from the kitchen, barely noticing that Emily had returned from work, but quickly succumbed to sleep again. In my dreams I floated on a stream of light through the endless oceans in space, bathing in the light of suns long since dead and forgotten.
I went back to focusing on the list of names from Lodestar. None of them were incredibly impressive or important sounding. Most of the names I’d chosen were noted as assistants of one kind or another, and probably didn’t have the kind of access I wanted. I assumed that whoever had a hand in Doctor Astra’s work was never gonna agree to a meeting with someone like me out of nowhere.
No, if I wanted answers about Doctor Astra’s work, and what really happened to me, I had to work my way up somehow. I could always go public. Try to find someone with a platform that would host me, and demonstrate some of the more obvious peculiarities. Pretty sure a man with no pulse would generate enough clicks to go viral pretty quick. That would also violate the contract I’d stupidly signed, however.
Besides, if I was gonna be honest with myself, I would most likely freak out by the thought of having thousands of people see or hear me on any kind of stream.
“Exit Rose nebula,” I said at the band. My head was feeling heavy from trying to organize things, and I needed a change of scenery. “Display current stream of Rigel.”
The lights in the room changed from deep reds, to a more comfortable white and blue hue. The blue hues from the slowly rotating star made it easier to focus, and helped me shake the leftover drowsiness that still hadn’t left my body. The three cups of extra strong coffee I’d drank had taken their sweet time kicking in. The steaming mug in my hands wasn’t making much of a difference either. A yawn forced its way through me as I stretched my arms forward, putting the warm drink on the table.
My energy felt so out of control. From one day to the next I run at a dead sprint for seemingly hours, only to be completely drained of energy after a meal and a long rest.
“List two,” I croaked. “Add ‘inconsistent energy levels’.”
The voice command was recognized by the smart device, and the exact words appeared at the bottom of the list as a separate point. With every new point on the list I grew more dissatisfied with the whole idea. Sure, it granted some level of control, but it did nothing about my ability to do anything about it. I was as powerless as I had always been.
Well, perhaps not exactly. I still had another three days free from work, and enough money to feed myself for at least another couple days. I brought up my personal account, just to check. A new window opened, asking for a password, along with a virtual keypad. I typed in my password, which was the number of black hole candidates in the galaxy, and pressed a thumb against the metal of the smart band. A second later my balance was displayed on the screen, along with any other financial information I might have wanted to check.
Ugh, I hate this.
Profile: Ashton Etrigan
* Owned Assets & Rights:
* Name and Body
* Ashton Etrigan holds ownership and rights to his own name and actions.
* Financial Rights
* Ashton Etrigan holds ownership of any financial value tied to this account, and may spend it however he sees fit, in accordance with National and International Law.
* Stocks and Bonds
* (Nothing to show)
* Personal Accounts
* Ashton Etrigan (Expand)
* Savings (Expand)
* Real Estate
* (Nothing to show)
* Loans and Mortgages
* Loans (Expand)
* Mortgages (Expand)
* Summary
* Total balance: $2,107.45 (Expand)
* Total Remaining Loan/Mortgage: $109,732.68 (Expand)
I let out a deep sigh as I scrolled past the depressing lack of depth in my profile on my way to the summary. I could have just brought up my total balance, but I had signed a contract since the last time I’d properly checked. To my relief I still owned my name and body, so that was good. What wasn’t as good was the frightfully small amount of money I owned. I usually tried to be careful, but Autobills were a bitch.
Well, I did spend a pretty large amount on food recently. And if things are going the way they are, that isn’t going to change anytime soon. I really need to set up that meeting.
I closed the window and tipped my head back over the couch, leaning against the wall. If I could just focus I would eventually find a way to solve everything. I just needed some more rest, some more coffee, and a little more…
POWER?
“Mmh, what,” I inhaled sharply and jerked my head upright.
“I said, wake up, Ash, someone wants your attention...” My sister’s voice trailed off as I opened my eyes and was temporarily blinded by the bright blue and white light reflecting off the walls.
Emily’s somewhat blurry face was staring at me from across the table. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands, clearing my vision enough to notice the weird look Emily was giving me. Except, it wasn’t directed at me. It was close, only a few degrees off, enough to make me worry I’d done something stupid in my sleep. But she wasn’t looking at me.
I realized when her eyes flicked from left to right that she was reading something. And, judging by her expression, it was some pretty juicy stuff. With each new line she read her single raised eyebrow rose another half centimeter. She looked so stupid by the time she finally finished, I couldn’t help but laugh. I shut my mouth as she turned her incredulous grimace towards me, and tried to keep a neutral expression. Her eyes bored into mine, and suddenly that face wasn’t so funny anymore.
We stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other. Me, searching Emily’s face for a clue to the reason behind her reaction, and her, wide eyed and mouth slightly agape.
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
I broke the silence first. “Em,” I said softly. “What’s wro-”
“What the fuck does ‘immune to knives, question-mark’, mean?”
Oh, shit.
I glanced at my smart band on the table next to the cup of half-drunk coffee. It was still on.
Shit, shit, shit!
“I can explain!” I hastily blurted out while snatching the band from the table. I slipped it onto my wrist and blanked it. The light in the room immediately returned to normal, which was more than enough for me to see the dreadful look in Emily’s eyes.
“First of all, I’m okay,” I said, standing up slowly. “There’s no need to worry.”
“No need to worry!? Ash, it’s my job to worry! Especially when I find stuff like… whatever that was!” She waved her hands around, gesticulating wildly. “You better have a damn good explanation for… well everything!”
A small window winked into life across the surface of my band at that moment, announcing itself with a soft chime. I looked at the name written there.
Sorry Em, I just have no idea how to handle this conversation right now.
“Okay, Em, I’ll tell you everything. I just gotta take this first, okay, then I’ll be right back, I promise!” I squeezed past her and into the hall leading to my bedroom. Once there I shut the door and accepted the call by lifting my wrist to my ear.
“Hello, Mr. Neumann.”
Frank Neumann, the General Manager at the store I worked at, was the worst kind of person I knew. A sleazy bootlicker who leveraged his position to harass and belittle his employees and the work we did, then took all credit for himself whenever the regional manager came around, despite never doing any work. All he did all day was sit in his office, watching some sport event on one screen, and us workers on the surveillance cams.
“Ashton, finally! I’ve been trying to reach you all day!”
I checked the log for missed calls, and there were only two, the first one being from twenty minutes ago. “I’m sorry, sir.” I tried to come up with some kind of believable excuse. “I’ve been sleeping a lot recently.” It would have to do. It even made sense.
“Don't give me that crap, Ash, no adult sleeps past noon,” Frank said. He was obviously annoyed by something, judging by his tone. “Anyway, I need you to come in to work. We’re understaffed and pressure’s high. How fast can you be here?”
I held my hand out and stared at Frank’s name on the open screen.
Excuse me!? I thought I was given sick leave, what the fuck is he talking about?
“Sorry sir, but there must have been some mixed signals here. I was told to take some time off after the incident at… you know,” I trailed off.
“Whatever man, you sound good enough to me. I don’t have the time or money to let you off the hook every time one of you needs a mental health day, or whatever. So I’m ending your little vacation, today. Now get your ass here, you’re on the clock.” Then there was no more sound, and the call screen closed.
Fuck… I should’ve stayed with Emily. Like I give a shit about Frank. He should be the one helping out. It’s his store, he should be the one taking responsibility for it.
That thought made me ache suddenly. Hadn’t I just sort of done the same thing to Emily? Hadn’t I just left her with no other choice, wondering why I didn’t care what she thought?
Shit. I’m such a dick.
I sighed. Frank Neumann might have been one of the most lazy and unmotivated people I knew, but you could always trust him to ruin your day somehow.
I clenched my fist, took a deep breath, then slammed my head into my knee. It didn’t hurt, but the shock from the impact still helped push away the mental grime in my head.
“Emily,” I called as I walked back out to the living room. She looked up at me from the couch. She’d been crying.
“I’m a dick. I’m sorry.”
Frank could go fuck himself. I sat down and started talking.
⬨⬨⬨
I told Emily everything. Everything I could think of, from the night at Lodestar until that morning with the lists. I told her of Deimos and The Doctor, their argument while the building burned, and the ensuing fight between them. She took that part pretty well, although Deimos’s betrayal came as a shock to her. I could relate.
I explained what the list was. To put things into context I also had to tell her about the convenience store fight, however. Emily did not react well to that story, especially when I mentioned the knife and the violence. I got off with a medium scolding, having promised that I was okay. What mostly annoyed her about it was that I’d evaded the law, instead of staying to report the incident. She huffed, and we moved on, but I was far from being off the hook.
II finished by telling her about the increased stamina, strength and energy, and what had happened at the gym. I was determined to tell Emily the truth, she deserved that, but I still left out the part where Tyler had taken me to the staff room and given me the tea drink. That memory was just for me.
“And now you’re still feeling like you’re running on empty?” Emily and I sat shoulder to shoulder on the couch. I had just wrapped up my story. “Pretty much. I mean, I feel normal, just kinda tired.”
It hadn’t taken too much time getting through it all. Emily was pretty awesome in that regard. She took things as they were, and found a way to deal with them. It’s probably what made her such a good nurse.
“Does it worry you?” She asked.
“No,” I said, then stopped to think about it. “Actually, yes. My eyes, they worry me. I can’t look into a mirror for too long. It feels like there’s something else staring back, something that’s not really me.” There was something more to it, but I couldn’t for the life of me dig the memories out from the dark recesses of my mind. It frustrated me to feel something so close, without being able to grab it.
“You know, you’re not the first person in our family with silver eyes.” Emily said.
“I know,” I muttered. “Dad had them.”
I might not have had many - or any - memories of my father, but I’d seen moms pictures. Emily had one on her nightstand as well. Mom, dad, her, and little baby me in moms arms. It was printed and framed.
“It feels weird to share that with him. Dad was a lawyer. He was smart, he fought for those less fortunate, and he was determined and motivated. He actually fit the color of his eyes.” I sighed and looked into Emily’s clear blue eyes. It was a semi-rare color for eyes, and a very pretty one. Few things in nature shared that special shade, unless you looked past our atmosphere. It always reminded me of young stars.
“You really shouldn’t hold on to those beliefs,” Emily said with a crooked grin. “I know mom was strict, but even she gave them up eventually. They’re just colors.”
I knew I was being stupid about my eyes. It had been decades since the religion had had any real societal influence. That didn’t make it meaningless, though.
“Let’s move on,” Emily said, looking over my list again. “What else here is worth diving deeper into?”
“Alright. So I know I should be more worried about what’s going on, not having a heartbeat and all, but that’s just the thing. It doesn’t bother me at all.” Emily eyed me.
“It’s weird, but it feels good!” I told her. “The same goes for mostly everything else. My mind feels clearer, and when I’m not as tired as today, I feel like I could do anything.”
“Anything? Really?” Emily deadpanned. I gave her my most innocent smile.
“Well, within limits I mean. Not like I’m a hero or anything.” Emily held her gaze for a second, then blew out a breath and chuckled. “That’s a very good thing,” she said, smiling. “I’m sorry Ash, but you’d be a pretty lousy hero.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re always late to your own doctor's appointments, you spend most of your free time looking at stars, and you hate interacting with people.” She extended a finger for each point she rattled off, not even making an attempt at holding back her sass. “You want more, or do we agree?”
“No,” I sighed dramatically. “I’ll be honest, you’re probably right. I’d be a pretty lousy superhero.” I smiled at the kindhearted bullying, though. Emily always knew how to cheer me up.
I took the opportunity to get us back on task while the mood was still light. There were actually a few things Emily could help me out with, and it was high time I dealt with something important.
“Anyway, I think I came up with a few questions. I don’t know if this is something you would know, but I figure it’s worth a shot.”
“Sure, I’ll answer what I can,” she said with a reassuring smile. I could always trust Emily to do her best to help someone, no matter how little she could contribute. She would’ve made an amazing hero.
“Okay, so, I don’t have a pulse, but I still function like a normal person, yeah?” I grimaced at the word ‘normal’. Emily nodded slowly, so I kept going.
“Well, if I don’t have one, how does my body move nutrients and energy around? That’s how a pulse generally functions, right? The heart pushes blood around to feed energy and stuff to the body?” I might not have gone to med school, but I knew enough. Years of going to the gym had taught me a few things.
“That’s a… good question,” Emily answered wonderingly. She gave me a testing prod where my jugular would be pulsating normally, then sat back when nothing happened.
“Your summarization of the cardiovascular system is, while extremely simplified, pretty correct. It circulates the blood, like you said, through all veins, arteries and capillaries, until it comes around back to the heart, where the process starts over again. What you skipped over is how closely tied this whole system is to our respiration.”
At this point I admit she was speaking somewhat over my head. It must have been clear on my face, because Emily grimaced, then pointed at both her mouth and chest.
“Every time we take a breath new energy comes in, and the heart works hard to spread it evenly across every process the body manages to keep alive. Bigger processes require more energy, which is precisely why we breathe harder during, let’s say, a long run.”
The way Emily explained it reminded me of what I’d done at the gym, where the world halted and I lifted weight far above the human average. I sucked in a large gulp of air, then suddenly I’d been able to lift weight far above the human average, with absolute ease. One thing about what Emily said made me think, however.
“Hold on, if something as thin as air is that energy dense for things like exercise, why not just eat something while running? Shouldn’t that have a ton more potential energy in the form of calories and stuff?”
Emily turned her hand side to side as she bobbed her head.
“You’re half right,” she said with a reassuring smile. “Food in general does contain more potential energy than oxygen, but then there’s digestion.”
She rose an eyebrow at me expectantly, to see if I caught her meaning. I nodded in understanding, although to be honest I only caught the basics. Food was more energy dense, but it took longer to reach every part of the body due to having to be digested first. Oxygen, on the other hand, had no such restriction, so it reached the bloodstream much quicker.
It reminded me a little about how a star worked. At the core a star is essentially a physics based generator. It uses the massive gravity in its center to smash hydrogen molecules together until they turn into helium. The blast of force this fusion creates ignites the helium as it escapes the center of the star, and a massive ball of fire orbits the core. This process cycles millions of times per second, generating the fiery balls of gas and gravity we know as stars.
Besides the fire, it sounded to me just like how humans worked, with food and air and stuff. Practically identical.
Emily was eyeing me.
“Right, yeah, I get it,” I finally said out loud, after not responding for just a second too long to feel natural. Emily’s words about digestion had shaken something loose in my mind.
“While food does contain more potential energy, it takes longer to digest, “ I winked, “whereas oxygen goes directly into our respiratory system through the lungs or something.”
“That’s good enough, I guess,” Emily said with a chuckle. “There’s a lot more to it, involving a ton more biology, but you got the gist of it.” She got up from the couch and stretched. Her blue eyes shone in the late morning sun, and she looked a lot happier. I wasn’t always the best brother, but I liked to think I was good at making up for my messes.
“You hungry?” Emily asked. “I’m gonna make pancakes. I figure the best thing to fight your exhaustion is to just stuff you full. Or what do you think?”
I smiled up at her, and a light hum started buzzing in my ear.
“I could eat.”