---

“You think things were bad before?”

...

“You've had it easy up until now.”

...

“No more.”

---

I jerked awake and squeezed my pillow in my arms, crying in the middle of the night.

It was just a dream.

There’s nothing to be afraid of.

I’m in my bed. I’m safe. It was just a dream…

I pulled myself up enough to sit on the edge of the bed and ran my hands down my sweat-covered face.

This is going to be a good day.

Yeah, already off to a great start.

We get to fix Robbie’s project.

That’s reason enough for it to be good.

Whatever you say.

With some deep breaths to calm myself down, I took out my phone and groaned when I realized it was two in the morning.

Are you kidding me? When did I fall asleep? Twelve?

It certainly feels like we did.

Screw the chair.

Falling down sideways back onto my bed, I closed my eyes to try and get more sleep. Maybe I could get another hour or two at least.

We shouldn’t have night terrors with only a little sleep.

I wrapped myself in my blanket, closed my eyes and fell back asleep at some point in the night.

###

It was still dark out when I woke up again, and it was like I only got a minute of sleep. The good news though was when I checked my phone and saw it was already four.

This is likely the best we’re going to get.

We should get up now.

We can also use this chance to work at night.

We know how much we love that.

I rolled off my bed and let myself fall to the floor.

Yeah, I guess I should. I just hope my hands don’t make it miserable.

Only one way to find out.

It took a few minutes to get the energy to push myself off the floor and put on my make-up. The cuts on my hands scabbed over, but some already reopened just from moving, meaning gloves were going to hurt like hell. No gloves, while not the end of the world, always made working with wood a pain. I didn’t have time to worry about that though. Getting this chair done on time was at the very top of my to do list, so I had no choice but to push through the pain. After eating a bowl of cereal, I grabbed a flashlight and headed outside.

There was something nice about working at night. With absolutely no one around it was like I had the entire block all to myself. At least that was something to look forward to.

I flipped the light switch in the garage and there it was, this big pile of wood that I was supposed to somehow fix.

This is a good opportunity for a challenge.

It’s not often that we get to make something terrible into something presentable.

Take this time to enjoy it.

You’re not wrong. I just need to think of how to actually do this...

The chair itself took a beating in the fight with the entire arm and chair that broke off.

We’re somewhat impressed he managed to stand up to us like that.

I’m not impressed with him smacking my face in with a chunk of wood.

We said somewhat.

Whatever. Don’t bring up random stuff when I’m trying to think.

Our apologies.

Waving off Esmer, I looked back at the chair.

So we need to replace the leg, arm and at least half the boards he made lumpy as all hell. Then there’s all the screws he messed up, and maybe make the entire thing more even.

Even if it’ll be a good challenge, it may be faster to simply make a new chair.

Yeah. But I want to at least leave some of Robbie’s work in there.

Seeing the long road ahead of me, I grabbed my tools and laid everything out on the workbench.

We wonder how Robbie is doing.

I don’t know and I don’t want to think about it right now.

We should find a way to get in touch with him.

It’d be good to make sure he’s alright.

I’m sure he’s fine. Besides, how would I get in touch with him? Not like I ever got his phone number or followed him all the way home.

There are ways that we can get in touch.

We could try calling the school.

I’m not going to go through all that just to find out what I already know. He’s alright, so there’s no point in pushing it.

We don’t know if he’s alright.

Whatever. Did you not hear me about not wanting to talk about this right now?

We heard us.

We better hope that he’s doing well at least.

He is. Now leave me alone to do this.

Getting Esmer out of my head, I finally went to work. Measure, cut, take off messed up pieces, screw in new wood, complain about how he messed everything up, repeat. It went well at first, but fixing his mistakes turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. There were at least five freaking pilot holes all drilled at terrible angles on some spots, which meant I had to replace that piece, or somehow find a way to get the screw in without the pilot holes messing me up. That wasn’t even mentioning the frame of the chair. It was so uneven that the boards on the front of the seat were an inch longer than the ones near the back. How he managed to even cut these properly to fit in the first place was a mystery.

We have to give him credit.

He did a good job cutting it to fit.

Why? Because he managed to get lucky?

I wobbled the chair back and forth to show off how uneven the legs he put on were.

Look at this and tell me it wasn’t luck.

Luck or not, he managed it.

Let’s see if we can as well.

Of course I can.

I took one of the new boards, placed it on his chair and marked where the original wood ended on both sides. With them lined up, I drew a line to make the cutting guide.

See? Super easy.

It’s indeed easy to copy already cut wood.

Oh so that’s how it’s going to be? Alright.

I took the drill and unscrewed one of the bad pieces of wood. That's when I realized what the frame was actually like.

Are you serious? That idiot seriously made the frame of the seat out of two different pieces of wood? And they’re both sticking up in the middle!

I rubbed my temples as pain spread through the sides of my head.

How the hell can he mess up so many different things in one project?

We’re sorry to say this, but compare the new board with the old one.

Even though I really didn’t want to, I took a closer look at the one I took off. The old board should have been the exact same dimensions, because they’re freaking two-by-fours. Obviously, Robbie found a way to screw that up too, since his two-by-four was almost a good half inch slimmer than the new one.

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Fucking why!?

Try putting the new board where the old one was.

Why not, I’m already in hell.

Doing what she said, the board stuck up by half an inch higher than the other planks of wood, and refused to lay flat.

No! No no no. He’s messing with me, isn’t he? He has to be. He messed up the frame, and instead of fixing it, his answer was to sand everything down? Was that seriously why he never did anything but sand for almost the entire time?

It is a rather neat solution to a problem to be honest.

No it’s not! It’s stupid and a massive waste of time. And that’s not even all of it!

I looked down at the side to see how he managed to attach the two pieces of the frame together, and I had absolutely no clue how this thing was being held up.

Sitting back down on my stool, my anger merged with everything already in my head.

+++

I’ll never make a job out of this if I can’t figure this out.

This should be super easy.

How am I this stupid to not even be able to figure this out?

+++

What the hell’s going on?

Nothing is.

We are, however, inexperienced.

That’s to be expected given our age.

We may even learn something if we study how he did all this.

Don’t even suggest I can learn anything about wood working from Robbie. And seriously? How the hell can Robbie do something that I can’t even figure out?

It’s because he did something so stupid that it’s not crossing our mind.

Besides, even examples of bad work can be useful.

While this chair is bad, it does present some interesting solutions.

Even if they are poorly executed.

Don’t dismiss that just because of how we feel about Robbie.

But- How does that…? Ugh, fine. I’ll ask him in shop class.

He’s not going to just show us.

Well then I’ll think of something.

I stood up, put the original board back on, and decided to sand the hell out of it to take out as many lumps as I could. Putting new boards on there and making them sit right would take waaay too long. Even sanding everything took long enough that the sun came up, and my arms had gotten more than a good workout at that point. The first thing that’d on my list of stuff to buy when I get the money is a power sander, because this is just stupid at this point.

It was about time for a break when the house door opened as Mom came out. “Breakfast is going to be ready soon,” she said as she walked up to the garage.

Our hands.

Jumping at Esmer’s reminder, I grabbed my gloves to pull them on. I hadn’t felt pain like that in a long time, but I couldn’t let Mom see how messed up they were. Turning around, I stood at attention as she walked up to me.

“Thank you, Ma’am.”

She saw the chair and had to have known something was up. She knew how good I was, and this chair was well below what I could do.

“What are you working on?” she asked, taking a closer look at it with a polite smile.

“I’m helping a classmate with their chair, Ma’am. They're not good at this stuff and I felt bad for them. So I decided to help them out a bit.” My hands still glued to my side.

“Isn’t this the project you guys have been working on in shop class?” she asked, her eyes going between me and the chair.

“Yes, Ma’am."

Her smile dropped, and with a sigh she crossed her arms. “I don’t want people dumping their work on you.”

“They aren’t, Ma’am. I wanted to help them since they helped me.”

“And you’re not going to get in trouble for doing this?”

“No, Ma’am. I asked Mr. Roland if I could help and he said it was okay.”

We never actually asked Mr. Roland.

I know but she doesn’t need to know that.

Her smile returned when she heard my confirmation, but that didn’t stop the sweat building up.

“It’s sweet you’re offering to help someone out like this, but shouldn’t they be here?”

“They’re sick, so I’m doing the last bit for them so they can take it easy.”

That lie is very easy to fact check.

This isn’t doing us any favors.

Well too freaking bad because I’m not telling her the truth. Now shush. I’m not talking to you when Mom’s right in front of me.

We stood there in one of those awkward silences you’d kill to get out of, where neither of us knew what to say. All while I stood at attention.

“I’ll leave you to it then. Food will be ready when you feel like coming in. Have fun, sweetie."

“Okay. Thank you, Ma'am.”

She gave one last smile before she went back inside, and I finally loosened up.

We can’t describe the trouble we’d be in if she ever finds out we lied to her.

What’s the plan going forward?

How the hell should I know? I can barely talk to her.

I pulled off my gloves as carefully as I could and threw them aside. Not only did it hurt like hell, but my eyes were struggling to stay open at this point, so I figured now was a good time for a break and slumped down on my stool.

I still have no idea what I’m going to do after Robbie.

We need to find another outlet.

One where we’re not going to get violent.

Perhaps we can make a deal with Robbie.

Like he’ll take any kind of deal from me.

Promise to stop picking on him.

In exchange, he shows us how he made his chair.

That actually isn’t a terrible idea. Alright, we’ll do it your way. I’ll try to make a deal.

Good.

Now get some rest.

Taking her advice, I laid my head down on the table and closed my eyes. It was only for a few minutes, but the last few days didn’t give me much time to rest like this. It would’ve been perfect if a question didn’t keep coming up in my head about Esmer.

Why are you doing any of this?

Because we love ourselves.

Bullshit.

Still leaning forward, I looked up from behind my arms to look at the chair.

I’m a ‘psychotic bitch.’

+++

And a stupid slut.

+++

There was a pause before Esmer spoke.

Sit up for a moment.

Why?

Just sit up and look to your left.

We need to show us something.

With a huff, I pushed myself up and looked to the left.

Alright, what did-

I was cut off when an eight foot wooden doll appeared in front of me. It was the first time I’d actually seen her, but instead of freaking out, it actually calmed me down.

We don’t need to be afraid.

It’s just us.

I know, but I can see you.

We seem to be getting the hang of being awake like this.

We wanted to know if we could picture us now.

It’s wonderful to know we can.

There’s another thing we wanted to try.

Something more than seeing you like this?

She walked up, knelt down, and her long wooden arms wrapped around me in a hug.

All that guilt and shame and hate and everything I’d kind of consider bad was crushed. Not only that, but she made it all disappear a hell of a lot faster than Emma’s hug ever could. That was supposed to be impossible.

I sat there, stunned and at a complete loss of what to say, or what to do with my hands.

We love ourselves unconditionally.

Even if we can’t see it yet.

Even if we can’t accept it yet.

We will always be there to support us.

Never forget that.

I only met Esmer yesterday, but to have someone tell me that...

My arms reached out and hugged back. I knew I looked stupid, but I hugged her, and the air, as tight as I could.

Soon enough, we let go and she walked over to lean on the table to look at Robbie's chair.

Let’s finish this up.

After that, we can get back to our own work.

With a new burst of energy, I went right back to sanding the wood, but my eyes kept glancing over to Esmer. Those feelings and thoughts she took away slowly came back, but even then, they weren’t as heavy as before.

Yes?

I just- That wasn’t a normal hug. I know what hugs can do and…

My sanding slowed down.

I know what the best hug in the world can do, and that wasn’t a normal freaking hug. That was- I don’t know what that was, but can you do that whenever you want?

We suppose we can technically do it when we want.

However, it’s best not to rely on it too much.

Are you kidding? Esmer, I haven’t felt like that in…

I paused to think, but came up with nothing.

I don’t even know. If we can do that whenever, then can you please do whatever it is you did again?

She sighed as she walked over and knelt down to eye level.

We know we don’t want to deal with any of that, but there are no shortcuts.

What we did was something that really should not be overused.

I put my hands together as I stared at her.

Please, can you do it just one more time? I wasn’t ready the first time and I didn’t get to enjoy it. Please?

With a sigh, she wrapped her arms around me again.

One more time.

Everything bad disappeared again. Feelings that I didn’t even know how to describe made me tear up, but they were the good tears! The kind that seemed like I’d never get to have.

Holy shit, Esmer…

She let go right in the middle and backed up.

Alright.

We should get back to the chair now.

Still in shock of how amazing that was, I had to force myself to talk.

Yeah, right. Okay.

I went back to sanding the bumps out of the chair mindlessly, doing everything to remember that feeling Esmer gave me. It took at least another hour before I stopped and gave it a quick look over. All the bumps were finally sanded down to as smooth as it was going to get, and my arms were killing me at this point.

We should head inside now.

Once everything was put away, I gave the chair one approving look before I closed up the garage and headed inside.

We should at least wear gloves to our room to hide them.

Stopping midway to the house, I spun around on my heel and went back to grab my gloves. It still hurt like hell, but at least I could put them on slow and without destroying my hands with pain.

I walked inside to see Emma at the kitchen table going through papers, while Mom sat on the couch watching TV.

“Hey sweetie, I made a plate of pancakes for you,” Mom said, flipping through channels.

“Thank you, Ma’am.”

I walked into the kitchen and managed to get by without her questioning my gloves.

“Hey Emma.” I grabbed a plate and piled up all the tiny pancakes I could eat

“Hey,” she said, without even looking up at me. She always got like that when stressing about something.

“Is something wrong?” I asked as I put my plate on the table.

“Just money stuff.” She rubbed her forehead and stared at the papers spread out on the table. “The company I was building for just called and told me they’re ‘completely out of money’ and need to close before a job was finished, so now I’m stuck with only the half we got up front. It was a big one too, and now we have a bunch of extra materials we don’t need.” She took out her phone and tapped away. “I have enough to pay my guys for a few months, so it’s not the end of the world, but we need to find a new client pretty fast.”

Emma not only worked as a construction worker, but she ran her own business too, which was amazing to me since I couldn’t imagine having to deal with all those random people.

This is a good opportunity.

Offer to make her stuff that she can sell.

That- Do you really think I’m good enough to actually sell my work?

What happened to all that confidence we had about what we can do?

Yeah I know it’s good, but she works with adults. I’m good, but I don’t know...

We can’t doubt ourselves like this.

Even if we come up short, then at least we know.

This also wouldn’t be the first time coming up short pushed us to be better.

Not to mention, we get to actually work with Emma.

Esmer brought up really good points, but if I was doing this, then I would make something that I enjoyed making.

Sitting down next to her, “Hey, Emma?”

“Yeah?” She turned her attention to me.

“If you need money, then could I make furniture and stuff for you guys to sell. You could even sell some of the stuff I already made.”

A smile appeared on her, “You don’t have to do that. We’ll be fine, It’s just stressful losing out on a chunk of money is all.”

“Even if you’ll be fine, can I still make stuff for you to sell?”

She paused for a moment and leaned back in her seat, “Do you think your stuff is good enough yet?”

+++

My work is fucking trash.

No one’s going to buy anything I make.

+++

Ignore those thoughts.

Say yes with confidence.

We know our stuff is good.

“Yes it is, and I want to prove that. I also want to be able to help you.”

She looked through her phone again, “Even an extra fifty bucks would help right now. We don’t have any clients, but let me talk to my workers and see if they’d be interested in buying anything. Which one’s did you want to sell?”

“Everything on the left side of the garage I don’t mind selling.”

“Sweet. I’ll go take some pictures and let you know how it goes,” Emma said as she stood up and gave me a big hug. “Thanks so much for wanting to help. I’ll make sure they all know it was you that made them.”

There have been so many hugs today that I didn’t know what to do with them all. Her hugs couldn’t stand up to Esmer’s super amazing ones, but they were still the best compared to everyone else.

She went outside to spread the word as I almost grabbed a tiny pancake, but stopped mid way when I remembered I had gloves on. Instead, I took the plate into my room and locked myself away.

Holy hell. My stuff is actually going to get sold!

Maybe.

This is a very good chance, but we don’t know how it will go.

Let’s stay hopeful, but grounded.

You’re right. Absolutely right. I am grounded. I am grounded on top of the freaking world!

I fell back down onto my bed with my plate and took off my gloves. Staring up at the ceiling as I popped them one at a time with a big fat smile.

Once they were gone, I pushed the plate to the side and laid down on my bed. I took a deep breath, and my big fat smile turned into just a normal one.

---

Seeing Robbie’s bloodied face as I slammed my fist onto his eye.

---

My smile faded, and everything good with today went with it as I rolled over and pulled my blanket up to my eyes.

Why the hell did all this have to happen on a Friday. I don’t want to have to wait for the weekend…

Is this us finally admitting that we’re worried about him?

Alright, fine. Yes. I’m worried about him. I just wanted him to say some stuff and maybe give him some bruises. I didn’t mean for it to go that far.

This is good.

Remember this the next time we see him.

I wrapped myself more in my blanket and stared out the window.

I will…