I rushed Robbie down the moment he looked back at me.

His toothpick legs could only carry him so far, so it didn’t take long to grab his hood and drag him down onto the sidewalk. I tossed my bag aside as tingling spread through my hands. In any other situation I’d think it was a panic attack, but my smile made it clear it wasn’t.

“Leave me alone!” He did his best to crawl away, but I sat on him to keep him in place.

“You think I’m going to leave you alone after you ignored me? You know what’s going to happen now.” I grabbed his hair and pushed his face against the sidewalk. He reached back to try and get my hands off of him, but I kept my grip tight. “I need to teach you a lesson again.”

He gave up trying to pry my hands away when I pinned him down by the shoulder. His fists clenched hard enough to pop a vein, but he stopped doing anything to get out. At least he knew he couldn’t do anything to stop me. That alone gave me goosebumps.

+++

This is disgusting.

No wonder everyone hates me.

+++

I pushed those thoughts out of my head, and put all my attention on the fuck up below me.

“Don’t worry,” I leaned closer to him. “It’s not your fault you’re a mistake, so I’ll forgive you this time.”

He never looked up at me, but over the years we’ve been doing this, I didn’t have to see his face to know this hit him hard.

“When I get off you, you’re going to stand up and face me. Got it? If you don’t then I’m going to beat the hell out of you.”

He didn’t say anything, so I gave a slap to his head.

“Fine…” he muttered out.

I pushed myself up, and glared down at him with a beautiful smile. Slowly, he stood up and turned to face me, but his eyes did everything to avoid mine. Without warning, I marched up and decked him right in the cheek, knocking his ass to the ground.

He scrambled away, but I grabbed him by the collar with both hands before he made it back on his feet. “ “That’s for not waiting at the front of the school like I told-””

I was cut off when that bastard sucker-punched me in the eye! Before I realized it, I pushed him to the ground, sat on top of him, and slammed my fist down on his eye. I made sure to not seriously hurt him though.

“All you had to do was take your beating,” I spat as Robbie covered his face with his arms. “You can’t even do that right.”

I pulled his arms away and hit him on his cheek.

“I was only going to hit you once for not doing what I told you to.” I pinned his wrists with all my weight and looked down at him. “For being so stupid, I want to hear you say you’re a mistake. Say it once and I will let you stand up and walk home.”

“You’re a psychotic bitch!” he shouted. His voice broke up as he glared up at me, but I ate every moment up with the biggest smile.

+++

He’s right about me.

A useless, psychotic bitch.

+++

He did everything he could to get out, from struggling to free his hands to pushing away with his feet, but nothing worked. After a while, he stopped moving. His head turned to the side, and his face went completely blank. He laid there for a while, but like always.

“I’m a mistake...”

He said it. I made him say it. Me. I did this and I was in charge.

Even if he hit me, getting him to say that made my entire day, so I decided to get off him. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

But why stop there?

“Now get up and walk home. And remember that you won't get off easy next time if you ever hit me again.”

Instead, he laid there like a useless lump that stared off into space. It’d be hilarious if he wasn’t ignoring me again.

“Get up and walk home. Now.” I kicked his leg hard enough for him to get the message, and get it he did. He picked himself up without a word and walked off towards his house like I told him to. Once he was out of sight, I went to pick up my bag and walked home with the best god damn hop in my step I could ask for. That ended so well that I even cut across some back alleys just to make it home faster. That’s how freaking amazing all that was!

+++

I’ve done nothing but pick on someone weak.

I’m a fucking coward and deserve everything that’s happened to me.

+++

My smile dropped off, but that entire thing was still wonderful! He even gave me a reason to beat him down.

+++

Trying to psych myself up like this is useless.

It won't change the fact that I'm a fucking cunt.

+++

My shoulders slumped, and the hop in my step disappeared into a miserable shuffle as I made my way home.

+++

How am I going to think I’m in control of anyone?

I had to get into a fistfight just for him to listen to me.

I barely have control over Robbie, and he’s half my size.

No wonder I’m a failure.

+++

No matter how long I walked, the sidewalk kept getting longer. What made everything far worse though is when my phone went off. The moment I saw who was calling, a layer of sweat covered me in an instant. My hands couldn’t keep up with the panic and I almost dropped my phone. “I’m so sorry I’m late Ma’am.” My hand pressed against my forehead as I shut my eyes tight.

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

“Where are you? The bus should have dropped you off by now.”

---

A painful grip on my shoulder. “If you ever make her worry like that again. I’ll make your nights so much worse.”

---

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just got caught up with someone and I ended up walking in the other direction with him." Doing my best to keep my breathing steady. "I’m sorry and I’m already on my way home.”

A short pause followed by a sigh added another ton of crap I didn’t need onto my shoulders.

“Is everything okay?” Mom asked.

“Yes Ma'am, I promise everything’s okay. I’m sorry...”

“Alright, but please give us a call next time. We were worried something happened when you didn’t turn up.”

My vision blurred, and the painful pounding of my heart forced me to lean against the nearest building to keep my balance.

I did not make her worry. I did not make her worry. I did not make her worry.

Straining to keep my voice steady, “I’m sorry Ma’am. I promise I’ll call next time.”

I did not make her worry. I did not make her worry.

“Thank you. We’ll see you soon, and I’ll have some food cooking for us when you get back.”

“Thank you Ma’am. I’m sorry again...”

The call ended with me still leaning against the building as my fingers and face numbed.

I did not make her worry. I did not make her worry.

The more I told myself that lie, the less the pounding in my chest hurt. It took a while, but I opened my eyes and managed to not burst into tears. That didn’t make me want to go home, but it wasn’t like I had anywhere else to go. I also couldn’t make Mom worry anymore.

After one last sigh, I pushed myself off the wall and forced my stubborn legs to speed up. Even if my heart was going to explode, I had to get home, but this freaking road stretched out right before my eyes. It didn’t even feel like I was making any progress until the moment I saw my house. The breath of fresh air from seeing the finish line of a marathon took some of the weight off my chest. Another ton was piled on top though when I realized the prize was being at home after that call.

I stopped just outside my door. The closer my hand made it to the knob, the more my body screamed to pull back.

Emma’s in there. I can spend time with her and maybe it won’t be too bad. Please let it not be too bad...

In the end, that one thought made me grab and turn the handle. I pushed the door open and walked in.

Mom was in the kitchen, and my older sister sat on the couch watching TV.

“Welcome home, sweetie. Food will be done soon,” Mom said, poking her head out from the kitchen and smiled like nothing happened.

Real smile, no angry tone, welcoming me home. She doesn't seem that worried or upset, but still...

“Thank you Ma’am.” I shuffled over to the couch and plopped down next to my big sister, Emma. Even I had to look up at her when sitting, and I was like five-eleven, so she was tall. She also had pretty short black hair, unlike my dyed blonde. Not to mention strong as hell thanks to her job as a construction worker.

“Heeey Emma.” I leaned in and gave her the biggest hug my arms could manage.

“Rough day at school?” she asked, hugging back. I nodded, but at the same time, most of my problems never lasted long with her around.

“Does it have anything to do with that boy that kept you from getting home?”

“Boy?” I broke the hug and looked over the couch at the kitchen. “Mom, what did you tell her?”

“Sorry, sweetie, but I need to focus on cooking.” Her voice echoed into the living room, and I could hear her smile.

“Mom said you walked off with a ‘he’ and that’s why you’re late.” She crossed her arms and leaned back. She did her best to get a rise out of me, but all it did was make me dig my nails into my palms. I couldn’t be that freaking careless with them...

“Our Kendall just got herself her first boyfriend,” Emma said, poking my arm.

“No I didn’t.” I glared at her, but that only turned her smile into a shit eating grin. “I was just teaching him about some woodworking. He doesn’t take the bus, so I walked with him a bit and lost track of time. That’s all.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

Not only did she not believe me, but she tried to ruffle my hair! She knew my hair was off-limits, which meant she declared war.

“I mean it.” I shot back and used my arm to block her assault.

“I know, I believe you.” She brought in her other hand as back-up and forced me to use both just to defend my precious hair.

“No you don’t.” I pushed one of her arms to the side and launched a counterattack on her head, but she grabbed my hand like it was nothing.

“Would it make you feel better if I pretend to believe you?” She pushed back with our hands locked in place.

“Is that the best I’m going to get?” My voice rose as I put more power behind my push. Emma was stronger than me, but damn it, this was my time! I put every bit of strength I had in to force her back, and I swore I was going to win this time!

“Yup!” This big burst of strength I didn’t even know she had shot out to push me back to the edge of the couch. With almost no ground left to push her back, she took the chance to bend my wrist way past their limit. My face scrunched up in pain.

“Give up?” Emma asked.

“Okay! I give!” She let go and we both broke out laughing.

“You’re getting strong, but not enough to beat me yet,” Emma said, lifting her chin up high, complete with a smile.

“I’m going to win when I get older.”

“Sure you will.” She reached over and ruffled my hair. Even if she was undefeated, roughhousing with her was always way too much fun, so I didn’t care one bit how weird it sounded.

Even with all that, not even a minute after the fight ended, and that happy, fun-time fight energy I built faded away criminally fast. My shoulders slumped, and eventually I ended up just staring off into space.

Emma poked my arm, “So what’s this boy's name?” she asked to continue with the back and forth, but all my energy for the day was spent.

“His name doesn’t matter, and I’m serious when I say he’s nothing more than a friend.”

“It still must be big for you. It’s been a long time since you told us you were hanging out with anyone.”

Not like I had any choice unless I want you to think I’m dating.

“So, this person. Is he a good friend?” Emma asked.

“He’s not even really a friend, he just helps me a little.”

“That’s still better than I was expecting. He must have done something really nice for you.”

“No- He’s not- He’s just a classmate that I spend some time with.”

I didn’t even know what I was saying at this point, but this was the last thing I needed right now.

“Well, I’m happy you’re getting close to someone. Happy and proud,” she said, giving me another hug.

Usually, she’d try to make jokes, but she was taking this seriously. I wish I could be happy with that, but if she ever found out how he helped, then she’d be pissed at me. All of which pushed me to lock myself in my room.

“I need to go do my homework.” I gave my sister one more hug before I headed to my room through the kitchen. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Have fun,” Emma said as she went back to her TV.

“Good luck with your work,” Mom said as I opened my door.

Leaning halfway out the door, “Thank you, Ma’am.” I closed the door shut and locked myself in.

This was my own little organized world where I could lose myself in drawing blueprints for my woodworking. I had some project plans pinned to the walls for later, the perfect bed for me, a desk, chair and dresser that I made all by myself, and my closet turned small weight room that was off limits to everyone but me.

Speaking of projects, I had this really neat idea for a new desk I’ve been wanting to make for myself. One with a sweet hidden compartment under it. The one I had now worked fine, but that was back when I wasn’t nearly as good. I’ve been wanting an upgrade, and now was that time.

I mean, I had some homework as well, but so what? This was way too cool of an idea to wait on.

Sitting down at my desk, I moved the neatly piled blueprints I already had in the planning stage onto my ‘will probably get to’ pile that’d been building up. I should have probably worked on one of those, but I was so hyped with this new one that I grabbed a new sheet and went right to work.

These early stages were drawing it out to make sure every inch of it was right before I cut the wood. There was also what type of wood I wanted to use as well. Maybe I could play around with the actual color of the wood this time. Yeah, there was stuff like purpleheart wood, but that was expensive as hell. I more wanted to be able to find out how to change wood to any color and not rely on the wood itself. I knew there was a lot you could do with finishes, but I haven’t been able to learn a lot about them. This was the perfect chance to fix that though.

I went back to drawing up the look of the desk, and I’d think about all that other cool stuff later.

If only I could be done with school and work on this all the time, then I’d be set for life.

The rest of my day passed by completely lost in my work. I probably would’ve kept going until I passed out, but Mom’s voice came through the door.

“Kendall, dinner’s ready. Come and grab some when you’re ready.”

Flinching, I rushed out into the kitchen and grabbed myself a plate of pork chops, green beans and rice. Turning to Mom, “May I please eat in my room, Ma’am?”

“Of course you can.”

“Thank you, Ma’am.”

I hurried back and spent the rest of the evening on this future beauty of a desk, taking small bites out of my dinner every now and then. It kept up like this until my food was gone. I stretched my arms and legs way out with a big yawn, but when I remembered I had homework, my yawn turned into a groan midway through. I dug through my bag and pulled everything out. If I was going to be forced to do this crap, then I was just going to half-ass it and call it a night.

I didn’t know how long it took to finish my homework, but it was more time than I should have put into it. With it getting late, I went to wash up and get everything ready to sleep. I crawled into bed fully clothed and laid there for hours until my eyes finally shut themselves.

---

Don’t break the line of light.

Don’t break the line of light.

...

“Evening, Kendall. Come here.”

...

“Please don’t...”

---