Silence.

Crack.

Laughter.

Uncontrolled. Wild. And in a much higher pitch than I was used to.

The Evil Eye was cackling. “You! You pitiful elf! You stupid, moronic outsider! How clueless, how naive, how splendidly dumb you are! Yes! Yes, I was created to be evil! Yes, I commit murder as easily as breathing air!

“But I do much more than that! Every evil act, every vile desire, every malicious endeavor that has ever happened in this world has happened with my blessing. Thank you! Thank you for affirming this fact to the universe! With your own stupid words, you have relinquished any claim you had over my domain of evil! You gave up right next to the finish line! Just as I was beginning to worry, you handed me everything and made me immune from your pitiful questions.

“Go on! Keep striking me! Take us down to the core of this planet if you want. I will be fine! My physical body will reform around my domains, around my knowledge of evil and much more. Go on! Keep digging a bigger hole for yourself! Ha! Go on! Go on! Go on!”

I ignored the crazed laughter, remarking in my head how this was supposed to be Madness’ calling card. The Evil Eye had grown reckless in his relief. He was certain I had made a grave mistake, declaring him ‘evil’ with my own words.

“If you were born evil,” I said, “and you still consider yourself evil. That means you affirm the point of view that evil is governed not by will but by material reality.”

“No!” said the Evil Eye, his voice firmer than it had been for a while. “Whether I am evil because I was born this way, or evil because of my actions, I have not taken a position on either. It is possible for both, or one, or neither to be true. What is important is that you have admitted that I am evil, which means you can not challenge me for this domain any longer!”

“That is a strange fixation, wanting to be considered evil. Possessing a domain does not mean you have to let it define you. And yet, you are named for this domain. What does this mean? It means that this domain is your most important domain. It is the core of your personality, the core of your very existence as an Immortal. Isn’t that right? That is why you Immortals have always been wary of me saying your names out loud? Somehow, thanks to the very blessing that you gave me, I speak the name of your most intimate, most important, more jealously guarded domain. Isn’t that right?” I said.

The Evil Eye chuckled. “You do not know what you are talking about. The domain in our name is certainly our most important domain, but that is because all domains are important to us. We only disliked hearing our names coming out of your lips because we considered you unworthy. That is all.”

He was lying. I could tell. “Despite the confidence with which you are speaking, I know you are afraid. You are afraid that I will find a way to steal this domain from you. To take all knowledge of ‘evil’ from your mind, and leave you without your identity.” I leaned even closer, until my eyes were right in front of the giant eyeball, and staring right into his massive pupil. “Not only were you born evil, eyeball. You were born to be evil. According to you, you are the ultimate evil. Which means the ultimate act of evil was the act that created you. The act that created a being defined by his own evil. You understand what I am saying, do you not? The most evil act was committed not by you but by the Simurgh.”

The Evil Eye flinched. “That does not matter. Desire and I, we were as one back then. I consider myself a part of the being that split into Desire and Evil. Hence, I too, committed the act of ultimate evil.”

I smiled. “And now you have admitted that the being that you were before splitting from the Simurgh was also a being who was at least partially evil in nature. To summarize, you have agreed that a being that was born to be evil can still be evil, even though it is merely doing what is defined in its own nature, and you have said that this description has always applied to you, even before you were split off from Desire.”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“No, I have not said anything of the sort!” he said, quickly.

“Oh, but you have!” I said. “My dear strange eldritch horror! It is too late! You have already dug your own grave. You have already suggested that everything that you did, every action that you took, was a mere result of nature. The way a bird flies, a fish swims, and any land based organism breathes in air, you too, have committed evil acts because you were born to do so. You were born to be evil,” I said, leaning back at last and preparing a powerful fist.

“Back in my world, there was an old dude named Aristotle. He thought the best way to order society was to align everything with its ‘purpose’ or ‘telos.’ If you had the sharpest sword, you must give it to the best swordsman, not because he could make the best use of it, but because he could best fulfill the sword’s purpose of cutting things and the sword would best fulfill the swordsman’s purpose of using a sword.

“The same would apply for why the flute player would get the best flute. Not so that everybody else could enjoy good music, but because both the flute and the flute player would achieve their own purposes, their own goals by being paired with each other.

“And so you too, argue that the reason you deserve to hold onto the domain of Evil, is because you were born to be evil. The domain of evil’s purpose must be to help spread evil throughout the world. Your purpose is to carry out evil acts. Hence, the two of you must be paired together to help you fulfill your purposes, your goals, your desires.

“But what does your position say about the will to do evil? Surely, somebody who was born good but who chooses to do evil is more evil than you? The Simurgh, who purged itself of evil to create you, must be more evil than you if it ever does a single act that might be evil. Are you saying every action that the Simurgh has taken has been good? That helping you summon me to this world, controlling the emotions of countless innocents, orchestrating a massive war, all of this was good?

“Consider this. Is desire good? Desire by another name might be greed or selfishness. The Simurgh wants the domains Madness took away from it. It wants my temporal domains back too. It wants, it desires, it is greedy for this power, for this world, for control over the beings of this world.

“Is that not evil? I say it is. I say I am evil too. I am evil for wanting to leave this world although I could stay and help the peoples of this world develop and prosper. I am evil for being selfish. For being greedy. For wanting what I want without prioritizing the greater good.

“Yes. The greater good. You understand, don’t you? Your position, your name. It excludes the possibility of things being evil even if they were done for the greater good. An evil act, let us say a murder, committed to prevent war, to prevent genocide. How does one born to do evil reconcile an action like that? Or perhaps a good deed done for evil reasons? Or an act of good, such as telling the truth, but which ultimately leads to untold horrors or evil on a larger scale. How do you reconcile that? How do you make that work in a worldview where being born evil is enough to be condemned. Where free will is irrelevant. Where choices do not matter.

“A world where an evil eyeball must remain an evil eyeball. A world where there can be an ‘Immortal of Evil’ is a world with an incredibly limited definition of evil. A definition that you uphold. A definition that you personify. And a definition that proves that you are either not as evil as you claim you are, or that your understanding of evil is insufficient. That you do not think of evil beyond the simplest of definitions is sad. And it will also be your end.”

I stood up with my fists to my side, letting the silence stretch. The Evil Eye stared back at me as if with bated breath. The so-called Immortal of Evil did not even realize as the red glint in his eye began to fade.

His tentacles withered. His skin shriveled up. The red glow that had defined him, that had illuminated his body and infected his giant eyeball with an angry hue, was washed away by the darkness of my shadow as the moon arrived near the top of the pit.

The Evil Eye turned gray. His pupil became solid black and empty. I clenched my fist. A red glow surrounded me.

I shot out of the pit with an angry explosion behind me. The pit caved in as I arrived above ground.