“Calm down, girl!” I cried aloud.

“How do you know it’s a girl?” asked Kelser.

“I checked,” I said, patting her on the head.

“And why did it listen to you so easily?” said Kelser.

“Because I’ve been sneaking her some fruit,” I said.

“But you told me not to do that!” he said.

“Of course, I can’t have her liking you more than me,” I said with a chuckle.

Kelser complained as I laughed. Somehow, it felt like Paris was laughing underneath me too. Kelser and I were sitting on top of the Fil Tusker’s body, strapped to her with a crude leather harness I had made with the help of some tribesmen who had a knack for this sort of thing. Paris was lunging across the plains, following the River Teg West towards the sea.

We’d managed to get her to let us ride on top of her yesterday. The entire process had been surprisingly quick. I was not expecting a cowardly herbivore like her to trust me for at least a few months. However, it seemed like she didn’t have a lot of wariness towards humans, possibly because the Oko and Imm didn’t stay around this area for too long and rarely hunted Fil Tuskers. The large but swift beasts ran away at the slightest sign of trouble and the hunters rarely considered them worth chasing down.

Now, Paris was more than willing to carry me and Kelser around in exchange for some fruit. Luckily, we were a lot better at getting fruit from treetops than she was, which meant we could supply her with sweet bribes all along our little journey.

The River Teg meandered this way and that, becoming flatter and wider as we approached the sea. The entire journey was definitely a lot longer than it needed to be, because we were forced to follow the river. Once we had better navigation systems set up, something like star charts or compasses, we could probably cut the journey in half.

The telltale salty sea breeze came to meet us before we could see the sea. Probably because it was late at night and it was dark as hell. I’d learned my lesson from last time, and insisted we make camp inland and only approach the sea in the morning. I did not want to be fighting another walking shark monster in the darkness.

We didn’t pack any tents, since we figured we could cuddle up to Paris if it rained. Luckily, the weather had been favorable and tonight was no exception. I fed Paris some more scavenged fruits and dried grass, while Kelser prepared our fish. Another perk of traveling next to a river, I suppose.

I set up my motion detection magic, and realized I never taught this magic to Kelser and the other humans. I should probably fix that, I told myself, although I was sure I’d forget about it again. I settled in for the night, curling up next to Paris. Both Kelser and I had realized that the Fil Tusker’s warmth was incredibly comforting, and her skin made for an amazing pillow. I closed my eyes, preparing to sleep.

“Cas,” came a whisper.

I didn’t open my eyes. “What is it, Kelser?”

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Trying to sleep,” I answered.

“No, I mean, why are you doing all of that other stuff. Teaching everyone magic, making wheels and copper weapons, setting up farms, and whatever that settlement is supposed to be. You’re even making toys and games!” he said.

“Did you really have to ask all those questions right now?” I said, with a sigh. “It’s late. Go to sleep.”

“And Noel,” he said. “Why aren’t you looking for her?”

“Sleep,” I said, turning to the other side. “We have to go to the beach tomorrow. You can ask that question in the morning.”

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“I’ve been asking that question since the day she left,” he said. “You’ve been brushing it aside since then, too. Why won’t you give me an answer?”

“Because it’s not important,” I said. “Noel wants to get her revenge on the immortals, she can go get it.”

“You don’t want to help her?” he asked.

“Help her?” I repeated. “No, no I don’t. I can’t. I’ve met the immortals, you haven’t. You don’t know how powerful they are. If Noel wants to take them on, she’s insane, and there’s no helping her.”

“You don’t mean that,” he said.

I didn’t. But I couldn’t admit that. “Enough questions. It doesn’t matter why I’m doing what I’m doing. All of the humans are going to be better off after this year. Trust me.”

“It would be a lot easier to trust you if I knew why you were doing this stuff. It’s all so random and strange,” he said. “You say you’re from another world. I’d trust you a lot more if you said everything you were doing was so you could go home.”

“Alright, fine, if that’ll help you sleep better at night,” I said. “Then you can think that! Believe that! Believe that the only reason I care about helping you guys is because it’ll help me go back home, and not because I’m a good guy who’s worried about dragging all of you into our mess. Noel and I have already lost an entire tribe’s worth of people to these immortals. Forgive me for thinking you were all going to turn to dust the moment I let you out of my sight. No, of course I’m doing this because it’ll somehow help me go home. Even though I have no idea how to return to my world! I have one clue, and it’s a terrible one.”

I chuckled and threw my hands into the air and opened my eyes and glared at the thin sliver of a moon hanging in the sky. “Annihilation, he says to me, that accursed Immortal of Madness. Annihilation is the way back home. Annihilation! What does that mean? Nothing good, I can tell just from the word. Nothing worth working towards, or hoping for, or praying for, I reckon.”

“Annihilation?” said Kelser.

“Yes!” I said, letting my voice carry into the distance for the first time. “You know, Noel and I were getting on well with this one immortal, the Immortal of Desire. They were weird as hell, thirty birds as one person, or entity, or immortal or whatever we’re supposed to call them. But hey, at least they didn’t try to kill us with a laser firing golem or send us who knows how many years into the future. The future! What did he get by doing that? Huh? Tell me!”

I was breathing heavily, blood rushing to my head. I was wide awake now, yelling at the sky. My hands were balled into fists and I was swinging them. I didn’t stand up, but I felt like jumping up and stumbling about like a drunkard. Paris blew air out of her nose. Somehow, that calmed me down.

“Whatever,” I said. “We’re here now. There was no way I was finding Noel after she left. She didn’t want to be found, and I didn’t know where she could go. I’m better off helping you guys survive whatever the immortals are going to through at you, and maybe, just maybe, all of that will help me find a way back home. But man!” I closed my eyes again, brought my arms down, and took a deep breath. There was a quiver in my voice when I spoke: “I don’t know. I don’t know if this is the right decision, but it’s my decision. I’ll stick to it.”

Silence. Paris was happy I’d stopped speaking. She started taking her deep, soothing breaths again, and I almost let myself fall into unconsciousness.

“I’m sorry for asking,” said Kelser.

I waved a hand in the air. “It’s alright. Sleep.”

“Okay.”

I sighed. I heard Kelser turn over too. Probably facing away from me, too. Man, Kelser was relentless. I remembered the way he’d reacted when Noel and I first met him. The kid had a golden heart, but he did not know how to read the room or be subtle with his questions. In a way, that was a good thing. It meant he was honest and trustworthy. But it also meant he was annoying as heck.

“Oh yeah,” came a voice.

I almost groaned. “What is it?”

“Annihilation,” he whispered. “That’s a strange word.”

“I agree,” I said.

“It’s especially strange for a word that’s supposed to help you get home,” he said.

“I know,” I said. “It doesn’t make any sense! If he wanted me to die, he could’ve just told me to jump into the river. Why’d he have to pick a crazy word like annihilation.”

“Die?” said Kelser. “I mean, I guess it could mean that.”

I frowned. “Yeah, I guess it could mean destruction, of the total and complete kind. To reduce something to nothingness. To obliterate something completely. I guess he’d have to tell me to jump into a volcano. A river would still leave a corpse, I guess.”

“No, I mean, there’s the other meaning, isn’t there,” he said.

I shot up, eyes wide. Paris was startled and let out a cry, but I didn’t care. I turned towards Kelser, grabbed him by the shoulders, and shook his messy red head awake.

“Explain,” I said, “explain now!”