“Thank you,” said the Immortal of Madness as he flashed me his cheery smile. “In all my many, many years in this world, I have never been able to meet my beloved again so quickly. Usually, they run away and hide for at least a millennium after I find them. Isn’t that right, Sim?”

The golden bird glared at the Immortal of Madness. “We do not recall letting you call us that.”

“Oh, come on Sim,” said the Immortal of Madness, pouting strangely. “If you keep acting like that, you might make little Caspian think you don’t love me!”

“We do not love you,” said the Immortal of Desire.

The Immortal of Madness pouted some more.

I balked at their strange interaction. I knew the Immortal of Madness was insane—it was literally in his name—but why did he sound like a desperate teenager? All three Immortals had assembled, yet it didn’t feel like a gathering of the three most powerful beings in this world. It almost felt more like a scene from a high school romantic comedy.

“The idiot has a point,” said the eyeball. The Immortal of Evil’s voice was strange. It sounded monotonous and cold. Like a really good text to speech program on a computer from my old Earth. The Immortal of Evil didn’t have a mouth, so his voice sounded like it was coming from all around his body. This meant it echoed and overlapped with itself, making it ring inside my head like a dozen church bells chiming together. “You are not one for confrontation. You love to hide. I have even taken to calling you the Immortal of Cowardice, to my supporters.”

The golden bird ignored the eyeball but the Immortal of Madness gnashed his teeth and glared at the Immortal of Evil.

“How dare you speak that way to my beloved! Do you want me to take another chunk out of your domain, Evil Eye?” said the Immortal of Madness.

The eye looked startled. It glared back at the Immortal of Madness, then it glanced at me. “You say that like you weren’t going to do that anyway! You continue to let that damned bird use you like a rag. When will you learn? And why would you use my real name in front of a mortal? You even tampered with the translation magic I gave him. Why do you insist on interfering with everything that I do?”

“I see you will not stop insulting my beloved to my face. Perhaps I should let them go and beat you up first. Knock some respect into your squishy body!” said the Immortal of Madness as his clothes began to flutter in the still air. “And you ask me why I use your real name in front of little Caspian? That is merely a consequence of your own incompetence. Little Caspian, can you do me a little favor? Could say that dumb eyeball’s name for me out loud. Use the name you find most comfortable.”

Despite the strangeness of the situation, the knot in my throat unraveled and I blurted out: “The Immortal of Evil.”

The eyeball shivered. If it had eyelids, I had a feeling it would have blinked in surprise. It even moved as if it was taken aback. The disembodied floating eye glared at me. Its glare was strange, too. Instead of narrowing the entire eye, which it could not do because it had no eyelids, the Immortal of Evil merely narrowed its pupil. It would have been a little funny, almost cartoonish, if not for the immense pressure that fell on top of my shoulders with his gaze.

“How dare you!” shouted the Immortal of Evil. “For a mortal to utter my name in my presence. How have you not died for this sacrilege? Is this your doing, Madness? Did you strengthen his existence while you were tampering with my magic?”

The Immortal of Madness smirked. “Blaming me for your own incompetence. Pathetic, really, but I have learned not to expect better from you. No, Evil Eye, Caspian here has been able to use our real names through your translation magic ever since you brought him to this world. Both Sim and I have already confirmed it.”

The eye looked taken aback once more. The pressure on my shoulders vanished and I took a deep gasping breath. The eye stared at the other immortals. “Is this true?” It was facing the golden bird.

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The Immortal of Desire nodded. “It was why we wanted to make him our Ikon.”

“You wanted to make him your Ikon? Haven’t you already made him one? You’ve been controlling him like a marionette for a while now,” said the Evil Eye.

“We have not been controlling him,” said the Immortal of Desire.

“You surrendered a piece of your own authority to Madness on the mortal’s behalf,” said the Evil Eye. “You taught him magic, gave him some of your own energy, and even gave up some of your power over emotions to influence him. Honestly, I’m surprised Madness hasn’t fried the poor elf out of jealousy. Are you not worried about competition over your beloved, Madness?”

The Immortal of Madness gave the Evil Eye a blank look. “Are you stupid? No, that was a rhetorical question. I know you’re stupid. After all these years, you still do not understand what my love means.”

“Enough,” said the Immortal of Desire. The Book of Annihilation hovered in front of the golden bird. “We only surrendered a little authority. And it was not for the elf’s benefit, but ours. We cannot afford to let anyone take this book.”

“You know I don’t even want the damned thing,” said the Evil Eye as it hovered lazily in the void. “I only want it because loverboy over there wants it, and I don’t want him to get what he wants.”

“Loverboy? Ignorant eye. Do you want me to poke you again? The last time I rammed a mountain into you, you were picking rocks out of your iris for centuries,” said Madness.

The Evil Eye glared again but did not respond. By now, I had figured out the Evil Eye was no match for the Immortal of Madness, not physically nor in conversation. Although, it seemed the eye did not like to admit its own weakness. Their relationship was surprisingly childish. Like bickering siblings or childhood friends. My image of the three Immortals, the powerful beings who had been manipulating my life in this new world, was shattering with every interaction. If it was not for the immense pressure radiating off of them, I might even have thought this was a conversation between a couple of anthropomorphic monsters and a green eyed human.

“It seems the two of you have much to catch up on,” said the golden bird. “Let us take our leave then.” The bird flapped its wings.

“You’re the one we want to catch up with,” said the Evil Eye as it stared at the golden bird and hovered in front of it.

“Catch up with? No, Sim. I don’t want to catch up with you. I want to catch you!” said Madness. Madness stepped forward and smiled.

The Evil Eye shrank back. The golden bird stared at Madness, and Madness stared back. Sparks flew between them, crackling and sizzling, and leaving a burning smell in the void. The tension in the air became palpable. I wanted to step back too, but my feet were fixed in place and my body felt as heavy as lead.

“I want to catch you,” said Madness as his smile widened until it was practically falling off the sides of his face. “I want to catch you, and hug you, and pet you, and kiss you, and embrace you with my entire being. No, I want to be embraced by you. To fall into you, to burn in your flames, to have my ashes fly away in the wind that comes off your wings. Sim, no, Simurgh!” The Immortal’s words became louder and louder. The air vibrated with the intensity of his voice. My head began to beat with his cadence and booms rocked across my eardrum with his every word. “Glorious fount of knowledge, golden origin of wisdom, oh my dear, dear beloved! Give me Annihilation. I must have it! I must, I must, I must!”

Music began to play in the void. A wild, uncontrollable, insane cacophony. Beating drums, strumming violins, flutes, and chimes, and marimbas and all sorts of strange and exotic and even synthetic sounds. Hundreds of pieces of music, thousands of instruments, everything playing at once, clashing again or merging with each other in a jumble of pleasant and unpleasant notes. And yet, I could hear it all. Every strum, every hum, every beat and kick. It did not become a mass of noise, yet felt like it should have been more incomprehensible than it was.

My body began to move, to sway, to dance, with every rhythm. My feet tapped to every beat and thump, the thumping of my heart joined the orchestra of chaos and my reason began to fly around the void, dancing a wild jig, a waltz of sorts. A waltz of madness.

And then came the singing. A song that repelled the music like oil in water. A bubble of sanity, no, serenity, enveloped me.

“Why is it,” came the monotonous voice of the Evil Eye, cutting through the noise and reaching my ear with surprising clarity, “that every time we get together. The two of you start your little duet. Why can’t you just talk, like I do? It isn’t that hard.”

The music kept playing. The singing continued. And the Evil Eye began trying to drown it all in dry, monotonous speech.