Elif and I were looking at each other. I wanted to be alone, but I hadn’t thought about what to say to her once we were. First, I wanted to ask if she was okay because she didn’t look well earlier. She seemed very scared, and if she was still frightened, telling her about my experiences would only make things worse.

“E-Elif, are you okay? You didn’t look well earlier.”

“I’m fine, thank you. I’d rather be with you than with that man.”

Given that she didn’t even mention her father by name, she must really hate him. It’s not surprising, though. From what she had told me before, I could guess as much. Even if she hadn’t said anything, her mother’s expression spoke volumes. As I thought about these things, I stopped wanting to ask Elif for help and instead wanted to help her. But how could I help her? What could I do? How could I protect Elif when I couldn’t even protect myself? Elif was looking into my eyes, probably expecting me to say something. What was I supposed to say? At first, I was going to ask her for help, but she wasn’t in a position to help me; rather, she and her mother needed help.

“Elif, isn’t there anything you can do about this situation?” Even though I couldn’t ask directly, she understood what I meant. She shook her head no, her eyes filled with tears, and she lowered her head. I could see the tiny droplets falling to the ground. I didn’t know what to do. Seeing her like this was heartbreaking. I hugged her tightly, almost reflexively. She was still crying, but she slowly started to calm down. I quietly suggested that we move away from the door, as they might hear us, or worse, see us hugging.

Given my current situation, asking Elif for help wasn’t an option. If I told her, I could predict what would happen. She would likely tell her mother, who would then go to Damla’s house. Once there, Melis or Hasan would be questioned, and they would somehow persuade Damla to go back. Since I was the only one who could explain everything to them, they would confront me. Besides, what Hasan had said earlier was still confusing me. Was he trying to get information out of me, or did he really know? By then, we had reached the door at the end of the corridor. Behind the door was the small shed where I stayed. Elif probably thought it was a place where I played games or something. I wanted to go outside because I felt confined and tense inside.

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“Elif, would you like to go outside for a bit?”

“Sure.”

We opened the door and went outside. There was a bench on the grass to our right. We sat on it, our feet not touching the ground because it was a bit high, so we swung them back and forth. I didn’t want to lose Elif. She was my only friend. Wait, was she my friend? We had never talked about it. We had only met twice before, and this was our third meeting. What did she think about me?

“Elif, are we friends?” When I asked this, she stopped swinging her legs and turned to me.

“Of course, we’re friends.” For some reason, hearing this comforted me.

“Taşkın, why don’t you ever smile? Do you remember the last time you laughed?”

I didn’t say anything but thought about it. When was the last time I laughed? Or had I ever laughed?

This time, I wanted to ask her a question.

“Elif, why do you always smile?” Her face fell, and she lowered her head.

“What else can I do but smile?”

As I listened to her, I looked at her dress. She was wearing a blue dress that came down to her knees, and it looked very cute on her. Her brown hair fell just below her shoulders. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She seemed like my guardian angel. You might wonder what she was saving me from. She saved me from my own thoughts. Yes, she saved me from my own thoughts. When I was alone, I was always filled with dark thoughts, but whenever I saw Elif, even if we didn’t talk, just looking at her was enough. While thinking about this, my eyes were drawn to Elif’s arm. Her dress had short sleeves. Although it was already dark, her arm seemed even darker. Was it a stain, or had she dirtied her dress somewhere? Without asking, I reached out to touch the spot, thinking it was dirt, and tried to clean it. When I did, Elif winced in pain and moved away a bit. She looked at me, surprised and scared.

“I-I’m sorry, Elif. I thought it was dirt.” I now knew it wasn’t dirt but a bruise. I didn’t want to delve into it further, but I couldn’t help but wonder how far that disgusting excuse for a human being had gone. I prayed that what had happened to me hadn’t happened to her.