The door slowly opened. Hasan entered. He reeked of alcohol.
I was trying not to look at Elif, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her. I silently prayed that Hasan wouldn't see her.
Hasan came right up to me and started staring. My gaze fell on the piece of cloth on me. I began to sweat coldly. What would I say if he asked how I got this piece of cloth? I have some room to move, but Hasan knows very well that I don't even have the strength to walk. I just stared at Hasan's feet. I didn't dare look at his face.
"What kind of child are you, for fuck's sake? What kind of life do you have in you? Any other kid in your place would've been dead by now. How can you hold on to life so tightly? Where does this will to live come from?"
He was swaying in place, struggling to stay on his feet. I raised my head a little and looked at his face. He had turned his head towards where Elif was. Elif was staring at me with frightened eyes, her hands covering her mouth! I had to do something, or else Elif would be noticed!
"I-I'll kill you when I grow up."
He turned his eyes away from Elif and looked at me.
"What?"
"When I grow up and get stronger, you and that woman will die in agony. I'll rip out every nail from your fingers and drive nails into them. I'll cut off your ears and make you eat them, and I'll scalp you alive."
For a moment, his face changed. My words had scared him. How could a child who couldn't even walk say these things to him? He was in shock. The man who was swaying from side to side moments ago now stood fixed in place as if nailed there.
I don't know how I said these things without fear. What is happening to me!?
Hasan remained where he was, saying nothing, just looking at me. I could see the fear in his eyes. A few seconds later, he shook himself out of it.
"So that's how it is! You're not going to wise up, are you, you little bastard? If you weren't our toy, I'd have killed you already, but your time is limited. Once we find another toy, we'll throw you out!"
After saying this, he left the cabin. I immediately looked at Elif. She was still in the same position. I looked into her eyes and smiled. If I hadn't said those things to Hasan, he might have seen Elif.
I was about to signal Elif to come out of her hiding place, but then footsteps started coming from outside again.
This time, the door opened harshly. It was Hasan again. He had a metal pipe in his hand.
"You didn't think there'd be no consequences for what you said, did you?"
He walked towards me quickly and started hitting me with the pipe with all his strength. The first blow landed on my left arm. When he went to strike a second time, I raised my left arm to soften the blow, but this time he hit the section from my wrist to my elbow, and I heard the bone break.
He kept hitting me with the pipe and sometimes kicking me.
The bones in my arm were broken. I couldn't even lift my arm anymore. The moment I heard that breaking sound, my left arm fell limply like a piece of dead meat. It just hung there from the elbow.
Hasan kept hitting me with all his strength, swearing the whole time. I thought of lifting my right arm, but if I did, it would break too, and maybe something much worse would happen.
I had barely any strength left, and I had used it all to lift my left arm. I couldn't do anything to defend myself anymore. Reflexively, I put my right hand over my head. I couldn't lift my left arm at all.
He hit me wherever he could. My head, my face, my legs. A blow to my left ear caused my vision to blur for a moment. My ear was ringing madly. I could hear curses and yelling from my right ear, but my left ear was ringing completely.
After that, I must have lost consciousness. I don't know how long he kept beating me.
Little droplets of water were falling on my face. Was I outside? Hasan had said they'd get rid of me once they found a new toy. Did they take me somewhere and dump me?
Using all my strength, I tried to open my eyelids. I couldn't open my right eye, but I managed to open my left. The first thing I saw was Elif's eyes. The little droplets were from Elif. She had my head on her lap and was touching my face with her small hands. She was crying silently, trying not to be heard. She probably thought I was dead. Elif's touch was the only thing that didn't bother me.
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I honestly thought you were dead this time.
Milaz... I thought you abandoned me. You haven't been talking for a while.
Talking wouldn't have made any difference. That's why I chose to remain silent.
What do you mean?
Even if I told you to defend Elif and let her come out of hiding, you wouldn't listen to me.
Of course, I wouldn't listen. I would never allow anything to happen to Elif.
Elif is your weakness. You shouldn't have any weaknesses in this life, Taşkın. If you have one weakness, you have one weakness. You can't be a weak person.
Didn't you say I would become a very strong person in the future?
..
...
Yes.
Then if I become strong, I can protect Elif too.
Do you think the person you'll become in the future would want Elif by your side?
What?
You, in the future, will slowly and painfully kill everyone who caused you pain. They'll kneel before you. They'll regret what they did. You'll become a ruthless and emotionless killer. Once you've killed one person, you'll want to kill even more.
Maybe Elif's death will be by your hands too.
What are you saying!? No way!
h̵̜̰̯̲̮̳͕̎̍̎a͇̪̣͒̄̃͂̕h̵̪̘̜̫ͦ̽à̶̖͓͕ͥͩ̊
You keep thinking that way. You can't even begin to imagine the person you'll become in the future.
No! Stop it! Don't say such things! I would never harm Elif! I won't become a killer!
Yes. Of course.
As I was talking to Milaz in my head, I started to smile looking into Elif's eyes.
I didn't want to talk to Milaz anymore.
Elif noticed that I was looking at her. She hugged me tightly without saying anything.
"T-Taşkın! Y-You're alive! Why did you go to such lengths for me!? You could've died!"
I wanted to hug her tightly too, but I couldn't move my body. I could only speak with difficulty.
"Y-You came to me in the middle of the night, risking everything. I should do at least this."
She didn't say anything. She continued to hug me.
I didn't know what time it was, and I didn't know how long I had been unconscious, but Elif had to leave now. It wouldn't be good for her if they found out she had run away from home.
"E-Elif. You need to leave now. You can't stay here any longer. They'll notice you've run away from home."
She nodded silently and said, "uh huh."
"Taşkın, one day both of us will be free. We'll see better days. My only request is that you don't give up. Never give up. We'll make it together."
I nodded my head as she did.
"I'll come back again. This time, I'll bring bandages and ointment secretly from home."
"No, Elif. They'll notice. If they see bandages on my wounds, they'll know immediately."
Elif thought for a few seconds.
"Then I'll just bring ointment. They won't notice the ointment. Besides, it disappears on its own after a while."
I didn't say anything, but she could be right.
"Okay, then just bring the ointment."
I hoped Elif was right. If they noticed the ointment, it wouldn't be good.
"What will you do if Elif brings the school books with her?"
"I'll say I lost them. They'll give me new ones. It's not a big deal."
Actually, I was going to tell her not to bring the books, but we couldn't talk anymore. Every second, I was afraid they would notice that Elif had run away.
"Okay, Elif. We'll do as you say, but please leave now. Otherwise, they'll know you've run away."
Elif looked into my eyes.
"Okay. I'm going. I'll come back to you as soon as possible."
She gently lifted me up from the ground. I leaned against the wall. She covered me with the cloth again. Most likely, Hasan knocked me down while he was beating me.
Elif stood up and started walking towards the door. Before leaving the room, she turned back and looked at me.
"As I said, I'll come back to you soon, Taşkın. We'll get through this together. Never give up."
After saying this, she smiled at me and quietly left through the door.
Part of me wanted Elif to leave immediately, but the other part wanted her to stay with me all the time.
She said she would come back, but it felt like I wouldn't see her again.
...
..
Milaz... Are you still there?
I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me for a while.
Even if I don't want to admit it, you're always with me. Plus, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be alive right now. And it seems you'll be with me for a long time. So, I have to get used to you, and you have to get used to me.
Yes.
Everything I said was true, Taşkın. You're only thinking emotionally.
You change when it comes to Elif.
Maybe yes, maybe no. But you can't control me. Just because I'm alive thanks to you doesn't mean you can make me do whatever you want.
I don't want to make you do anything. You said you would kill them.
By the way, I never expected to hear such sentences from you. You're changing as you wish... it's quite beautiful.
That's the problem! I don't want to change the way you want!
Whether you want to or not, you will change. We're connected to each other. You have a cursed power inside you that's not divine.
I don't want to talk about such things! Please, enough, stop!
..
Okay, but one day we must talk about these things.
I won't die, will I? My body is in pain.
Your body is completely wrecked. There are many fractures and cracks all over. Your right eye is swollen shut. Your left arm is broken from elbow to wrist.
You have superhuman resilience, but as I said, your body also has a limit. Right now, you've far exceeded those limits. You can't endure another beating like that.
Even though I don't want to admit it, we need Elif's help for you to heal quickly.
It will take a very long time for you to heal. You need external support, like medication.
You said it would take a long time to heal. So, can I heal without taking any medication?
Yes, but as I said, it will take a very long time. Also, during the healing process, you must not be subjected to any attacks. Your body can't handle any more.
Elif is truly my guardian angel.
..
You're making me nauseous.
I don't care about what you say.