Ahmet and I were running towards that unfinished building. The guilt growing inside me made my steps even faster. I knew the idea of going to the amusement park had come about because of my curiosity. If something happened to Kerem, I would never forgive myself.

Here we go again. Blaming yourself. And why do you even care so much about that kid? If I were you, I wouldn’t bother helping. Just because they talked to you a little and helped you out doesn’t mean you have to be so attached to them. It’s laughable.

You should only use people for your own purposes, Taşkın. That’s it. You shouldn’t get attached to anyone. Attachment is always a sign of weakness. You’re too young to understand this now, but one day, when you’re older, you’ll see what I mean.

Milaz (breathing heavily), this isn’t the time.

... (grumbling)

While running, I said to Ahmet, “I’m sorry, Ahmet. All of this is my fault. If we hadn’t come to the amusement park, none of this would’ve happened.”

Ahmet (breathing heavily and slightly irritated): “Don’t be ridiculous, Taşkın. This isn’t your fault. If anything, it’s mine. I was the one who first suggested going to the amusement park. I knew what Kerem had been through here, and yet I still wanted to come.”

We stopped to catch our breath. While resting, Ahmet continued speaking.

“Taşkın, but believe me, if I had known it would turn out like this, I would never have suggested coming here. I just wanted us to have some fun together. I never thought something like this could happen.”

As he spoke, the sadness on his face deepened. I wanted to comfort him.

“You couldn’t have known this would happen, but it’s already done. So please, stop blaming yourself. Let’s just focus on Kerem right now,” I said, and to slightly change the subject, I added, “This building wasn’t supposed to be that far, yet we’re still not there.”

“It’s close; we’ll be there in a moment,” Ahmet replied.

A few minutes later, we arrived at the building. It was an unfinished structure. We went inside and headed for the stairs to the second floor. We had just taken a few steps when noises from above stopped us. The adrenaline inside me spiked. Within seconds, I prepared to dash upstairs, but Ahmet grabbed and pulled me back.

“What are you doing, Taşkın? Wait a bit. We need to call Cengiz and let him know. The two of us can’t handle this alone. Do you want to get beaten to death? If that’s what you want, be my guest.”

Ahmet’s words made me hesitate.

“Look... That would be reckless. Let’s find something around here we can use as a weapon. After all, this is a construction site; there’s bound to be iron rods or wooden planks we can use. By the time we’re ready, Cengiz will get here, and we can rescue Kerem easily.”

While I looked around for a tool, Ahmet pulled out his phone and dialed Cengiz’s number.

“Hello! Cengiz. Kerem is here, at the construction site. Come here as fast as you can; we’re waiting for you.”

“Alright! I’m on my way!”

Meanwhile, the shouting upstairs didn’t stop, and every echoing sound fueled my anger further. I knew everything was going south. They were either beating Kerem or torturing him. As these thoughts swirled in my mind, Milaz’s cold voice echoed once again:

Look over there, an iron rod. Not too big, just the right size for you.

It was as if someone had spoken directly to me. I turned my head toward the spot Milaz pointed to.

I walked quickly and picked up the rod.

Would you help me, Milaz?” I asked, surprising even myself.

What a ridiculous question. If you’re alive right now, you owe it to me.

“Yes, that’s true... but at what cost?”

The deal you made has made you stronger. You know that, and you’ll only grow stronger over time.

Don’t you want revenge? Those human scums who did unspeakable things to you are still walking free. Maybe they’ve already imprisoned another child in that shack, doing the same things to them that they did to you.

You once told me you wanted to be a good person. If you want to be good, sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do, Taşkın. When you killed Elif’s father, you didn’t do something bad. You just delivered justice.

...

Justice?

Yes, justice. If you hadn’t killed him, maybe he wouldn’t have been deemed mentally stable enough to stand trial, or if he was, he might’ve been released after a few years and done even worse things. By killing him, you unknowingly did humanity a favor.

“A good person sometimes has to walk through darkness to achieve their goals. You lived through things no child should ever experience. If you don’t want someone else to go through what you did, you have to do what’s necessary. And to do that, you must become stronger.”

Don’t you want to take revenge on those bastards who wronged you for no reason?

Revenge is one of the sweetest things, Taşkın.

Do you remember how relieved you felt when you avenged Elif? Didn't that feeling satisfy you?

A dull, soulless smile spread across Taşkın's face.

Yes... it felt very good. Crushing her skull, dislocating her jaw... it made me happy.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

Haha. You'll be able to do so much more when you grow up. You just need to listen to me. I'm showing you the right path, Taşkın.

..

Yes... maybe... but right now I just want to save Kerem.

Yes.. but don't ever put yourself forward. You're not a hero, you're a little boy. And I don't think you can compete with them yet.

..

Okay.

I went back to Ahmet and he had found a stick.

I wanted to get upstairs as soon as possible. Time seemed to pass more slowly than usual. Waiting for Cengiz to arrive had become an agony.

I turned to Ahmet, a little nervous and flustered.

“Ahmet, do we have to wait for Cengiz? I mean, let's both go. Look, we both have sticks in our hands.” I said, looking into Ahmet's eyes.

Meanwhile the shouting was still coming from upstairs.

“Look Taşkın... I want to go upstairs right away too, but the more the merrier.”

Ahmet's words made no sense to me. I would have already gone upstairs, but I decided to listen to Ahmet. But the voices coming from upstairs were trying my patience.

“Ahmet, Cengiz should be here soon, right? I don't want to wait any longer.”

“In a few minutes. Cengiz is fast. He'll be here soon.”

I kept thinking, what more could they want from Kerem? They had already done so much to him at school. Why were they still picking on him?

“Why are they still picking on Kerem, Ahmet? Besides, wouldn't it be better to call the police? I mean, they are not at school and on top of that they are torturing Kerem. Isn't that a crime?”

Your faith in the cops blows me away Taşkın.

Milaz now is not the time.

Ahmet took a deep breath.

Taşkın they are not yet minors. And have you forgotten what I told you? Their families are high ranking people. They'll get away with it somehow.

But we...

He was silent for a while with a bitter expression on his face and then he continued.

We have no one but each other, Taşkın.

Calling the police will only hurt us. They will send us all to a reformatory and you sure don't want to go there.

So we won't call the police and we will wait for Cengiz to come.

There was nothing to say after these words. I waited patiently for Cengiz to arrive.

Minutes passed. While we were waiting for Cengiz to arrive, the shouting from upstairs stopped and there was movement.

When I heard them walking, Ahmet pointed me behind a wall and we went there together and started to watch what was going to happen.

Three boys came down from upstairs, chatting and laughing. They were older than us and all three were taller than us. They were also molded.

They were talking back and forth about Kerem and how they beat him up.

For a moment I thought of attacking them and I took a step silently. At that moment Milaz started talking again in his icy voice.

Taşkın, stop where you are. Don't make a stupid move. Do you want to get beaten up? Look, you wanted to save Kerem and now you have.

No, this is not a rescue. We're just waiting for them to leave.

I'm still so helpless. I'm supposed to be here to save Kerem, but I can't do anything. I'm helplessly waiting for the boys who beat Kerem to leave.

Obviously you are not alone. Ahmet is with you and he is not doing anything either. So you don't have to put all the blame on yourself.

..

That's not helpful, Milaz.

Haha.

..

I mean, yes, you're weak, but that's just for now. But in the future you'll get stronger.

But what? Milaz?

..

But you have to listen to me. You'll never get as strong as you want as long as you're stubborn with me and don't listen to me.

I don't want to listen to your sick advice.

Maybe you don't want to listen now, but you will.

...

When the people who beat Kerem left, we hurried upstairs and saw Kerem. He was standing motionless by the wall, he had fainted. We rushed to him.

Kerem's face was covered in blood, his eyebrow was popped. The blood on his face stuck to his pale skin, leaving dark red marks on the dirty floor as it dripped down. A thin trickle of blood was still oozing from his nose; each drop made the silence in the room even heavier. There were deep burn marks on some parts of his skin; the scars of cigarette burns were still red as if they had just scabbed over.

“Kerem! Wake up Kerem!” Ahmet shouted, but Kerem didn't react. I didn't know what to do, I was just kneeling next to Kerem, looking at his face, my eyes filled with tears. I balled my hands into fists and I was so angry. It made me even more angry that I was useless and that I could only watch in horror from afar as the people who had made Kerem like this left and I could do nothing.

Minutes later we heard running and Ahmet and I turned our heads towards the stairs. It was Cengiz. He saw us at the corner of the wall and quickly came to us.

“Kerem! What happened! Where are those bastards! I'll fuck them!” but of course there was nothing to do. If the people who did this to Kerem were here, they would probably put us in the same situation as Kerem. Maybe even worse.

Then he knelt down like us and looked at Kerem with tears in his eyes.

“Why.. why can't they leave him alone.. It's not enough what they did to him at school... fuck them all!”

I put my hand on Cengiz's shoulder and shook him gently. He looked at me, but didn't say a word. He just nodded. He understood what I meant. The silence said more than words ever could. We turned our eyes to the floor, because our gaze betrayed something missing: we didn't know what to do.

Minutes passed. Cengiz clasped his hands tightly together. He rocked back and forth on his knees, his eyes constantly roaming over Kerem. His breathing quickened; he was obviously trying to cope with his helplessness. Ahmet, sitting next to us, was silently biting his nails. Every now and then he would look at Kerem, then lower his head and stare blankly at the wall. He never spoke; his silence was even heavier than Cengiz's tense movements.

Kerem's clothes were torn and torn in some places. The scars on his arms bore the marks of torture. Something inside me was breaking with every glance. There was no point in trying to share this pain with words; no one dared to break the silence.

Finally we all gave up, sat down next to Kerem and waited. Cengiz hugged his knees to his chest, while Ahmet still stared blankly at the same wall. Occasionally he frowned, as if arguing with himself in his mind. There was nothing we could do but wait, and this helplessness was tearing us apart.

I don't remember how much time passed, but at some point Kerem started to move. We all gathered ourselves and turned to him. His eyes slowly opened and an unexpected smile appeared on his face. At that moment, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was as if he hadn't been through that torture, as if he hadn't been dragged into the depths of pain. The words that came out of his mouth at that moment made the pain inside me even greater;

“My brothers... are you all right...? Did they...do.. anything.. to anyone of you?”

His voice was hoarse and shaky, like the last notes of a shattered music box. His words carried pain in every letter; some were slurred, others barely audible. At these words Cengiz put his hands to his head and pulled his hair tightly. “Kerem... no... the bastard bastards...” he murmured, but his voice was too weak to be heard. Ahmet closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath; it was so obvious he was clenching his teeth that I could see the muscles in his jaw tense. We didn't know what to say to this question.

I grabbed Kerem's left hand as my hands trembled. I looked at the fear in his eyes, the unbearable pain hiding behind that smile. I smiled back, but it was no consolation.

“We're fine. Brother... we're fine... but you...” I couldn't say more. The words stuck in my throat.

Kerem tried to laugh, but his voice turned into a wheeze. He answered with difficulty;

“I... I guess I'm not very well, am I? I mean, I don't know how I look, but... I'm sure I look like shit...”

With his words, he seemed to want to lighten the weight of the moment. But in that moment, the fact that Kerem was trying to stand so strong despite everything only deepened the pain in all of us. Cengiz bowed his head, trying to suppress his sobs. Ahmet silently cursed as he rubbed his eyes with his hand.

I had made up my mind, I was going to make those bastards regret what they had done, make them wish they had never been born. I would do whatever it took to make it happen. Anything.

Haha... Really everything..?

..