Waking up, I feel groggy. I sway a bit, here and there. "That must have been some party, I feel smashed. That booze must've been some good stuff, I dreamed of the freaking apocalypse. The fuck off cockroach the Giga Roach was it, and the rat, the Roidrat. Me being healed, that was nice. Everything else was trippy." I state as I head over to the bathroom and wash my face.

And as I wash the gunk out of my eyes and open them, I see the newly colorful eyes compared to my previously purple ones, and I feel scared. I feel scared that this is now real, this is true, this is how things are. I feel mortified about this. I look at my shining hair. I look over my body and I feel that it's strange. I still love being healed.

It feels strange that a lot of people are safe in the Mist Safe Zone like Alyssa. All these things. It's… confusing. I want to know why. I. I don't know what to do anymore. Sure I have goals and things. But control, control is what I lost. I could control my surroundings, had some success with controlling and guiding my mind and the surgeons helped with my body.

I don't have that anymore. My surroundings now are apocalyptic and maybe in the future we gain control of that. A safe space. My mind is changing and changed in ways I have zero explanation for and my body was healed. I think in the future I have to worry more about mentality and humanity than a safe place to stay.

I have things that I have never noticed before, senses that I have never felt or understood. Heck, I can freaking sense into the tangential space, my Soul, the Mist, the Fog, the freaking fuck off cockroach, all of it, it's crazy is all I can say right now. Oh, and don't forget the freaking steroid abusing Roidrat. Come on, that was just crazy. As I stand there shell shocked, I spend a few minutes just staring at myself and slowly coming to terms with how fucked up this world is.

So, as a recap in a sense to make sense of the world myself, the apocalypse came by. I'm pretty sure that the final exams aren't going to get graded and no more graduation, so that sucks. This sky is freaking blood red, so yay, I guess, sucks for those guys who can't see red, you know, colorblind, but here's hoping like whatever this B.S Mist stuff is, Mist, Fog and the Soul B.S, right, helps out with that. It healed the almost impossible so I don't know, it might, you never know, right.

In any of those stories, people get healed and healing powers and other stuff, right. Right, and I got some spectacular healing. This is my life, I just wish the apocalypse fucked off back to where it came from after repairing everyone.

So, back to the point. And then I freaking fought a fuck off cockroach or Giga roach and then a fuck off steroid abusing rat. After that, saved the dude while killing one of those things and he didn't even say thank you, come on. I freaking fought a cockroach that, I don't know, might have been a super cockroach and just impossible to kill, and would have killed me easily.

So, let's get back to the point. I grab the freaking rat dagger tooth and walk up the stairs. With those teeth in me, I would probably be dead, bleeding out with a rat eating my guts.

Not a good way to go, definitely not a good way to go, let me say. And then, aaannnddddd then, you know what I mean? We get to the point where I step off into unconsciousness in some girls' pink as hell bedroom. Now, if all of this wasn't insane enough, my body freaking changed. Multi-colored eyes, shimmering hair. I'm like a freaking ‘black mouse imprisoning corporation’ princess on steroids. Fuck me! As you can probably tell, I'm still 100% not over it. Soo not over the fact that the apocalypse decided to visit.

I got ready, dressed up, and decided to take stock of what's around me, what I have, and, well, things. Survival first of all, right. So, looking around, I see the stuff I scavenged, apocalypse, you know? You gotta scavenge, that's the name of the game. Survive to scavenge and scavenge to survive. So, the stuff I scavenged, a good bit of food. My book bag filled with books that I promptly tossed out, and filled with the food I have. The metal hockey stick, good old reliable, and the weird janky dagger tooth that I got from the rat.

Along with the feeling in my soul that I see, well, more like experience. That weird multicolored energy in my soul, that I can kind of sort of modify a bit, or use. I also feel the link to unlimited pure energy.

Well, this is how it's gonna go, I guess. Things just don't make sense, things go crazy. No freaking help or a wiki tutorial, is that too much to ask. It would really be best if I could get Anakin or an Obi-Wan to help me with my Ahsoka type BS right now, because I am lost. I don't know what the heck I'm doing, but I guess I gotta keep doing it, because if I don't, I'm pretty sure, I would probably be dead by now. So, on we go.

After breakfast, of course, breakfast is important. It helps me. I don't know about you, but it helps me figure things out in life. I take a seat on the pink monstrosity that is a pillow covered bed and nibble on some food.

“It's never going to be the same.” I say. My arms lightly on the bed, my legs tucked under my chin, food forgetted to the side. Resting my head on my knees I contemplate life. Mine, Alyssas’, my familys’ and the circumstances in which this happened.

“I've been stuck in my head forever. Since the accident, the meds, the surgery and everything, it changes me. It changed my view of life. I talk to no one. I feel rage and despair, hope and hatred and love. Love for my family and Alyssa keeps me from burning in my hate, hope barricades my heart from despair.” A single tear flows down the recently healed scar on her face.

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“Stuck in my mind, held there by meds that I needed to live. Not anymore!” She stands up a fist raised in a show of confidence.

“I'm repaired, I can be useful again, I can be normal! A hope and confidence shone through her words. “Well, as normal as I can be in this screwed up world.” A slight snark filled her voice at this.

After breakfast, I head on out, and looking around the window, that I slowly unblock, I see chaos. Cars are toppled over here and there, not many, but some. A few bugs are chittering around, the fuck off kind, of course. Not the normal cute kind, the tiny ones, that you can just squish them with the foot. No, these are the fuck off kind.

Some Roid rats also scurry by, and I see some other birds, or things like that, that are pretty big and seem to have very shiny, almost metallic, wings and feathers. And their beaks, those can kill. I see a bird puncturing a car door for scraps inside. Beaks must be sharp and sturdy too. They might be metallic, they look glossy at least. And if I ever fight something that flies, gods help me, I'm pretty much sure to have an arm or leg cut off, because those things are stupid fast. Oof.

Walking down the stairs, I try to find the other dude that just skedaddled yesterday. You know, safety in numbers, possibly. If all the people don't attract every animal to where we are. Because if that is true, me and everybody else in my group will be screwed. So...Giving it the benefit of the doubt, I decided to just find the dude, and if not, figure out how to do three things.

One, continue surviving and find food. Two, figure out if there's like an interstellar alien or some BS help that can possibly pop on by and save my ass. The safe zone dudes got a tutorial, why not me? At least give me some info, because, hey, you know, Fog or Mist plus a normal rat is a Roid rat, right? So, what if Mist, or what I get from the Roid rat, the Soul Fog and the Pure, what if all of that makes me superhuman?

I wanna be, like freaking Eterd the Mighty or flying marsupial man and say I'm flying marsupial man or arachnid powered man or all those. Trust me, superpowers are awesome. And you don't really get responsibility if you have superpowers, because it's the apocalypse. It might be different though, I need to tell people about the safe zone and that we need to make some place safe for all of them in a year's time.

“The fuck do I get the responsibility for that! I can't do all that, I know who I am and I can lead a hockey team. That's not too hard. People are horrible and humans are emotional messes on the best of days! Gah! Whyyyyy do I have to do this?” I whine and doing so helps make me feel a bit better.

Sometimes emotions are too much, you can't store them so use them, express them, live them. That is what makes people human. At least that is what I believe and my therapist kinda agrees, she has a bunch of caveats on that though.

And in the apocalypse books I've dabbled in, most try to save themselves, some family and maybe a few people on the side, as long as they can. Sometimes it's a quest for creating a safe place, or to find family or just survive.

My philosophy is that if you can't, well, you can't. If you try and force it in the apocalypse, you're probably gonna end up in a ditch. Dead, of course. Very much dead. Normally you would learn and grow and become able to do whatever you put your mind to.

In the apocalypse though, a mistake often has quite severe repercussions, the mauled or being deader than undead type of consequences. And, well, I don't want to be dead, if you can understand that. Right?

Being dead sucks. Very much so, I would believe. You know, the forever night, or some of that BS from the Church of Next Life, heaven, hell, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't care. Reincarnation, new worlds, isekai, whatever. Don't want to be dead. I like this world, you know? This world works for me. Even with the fuck off apocalypse.

I'm cursing a bit too much, aren't I? Well I blame the apocalypse. Now, moving on, I want to head on out and figure out what I want to do. So, the first thing I want to do is sleuthing and searching. Going up the stairs, knocking on a few doors here and there, trying to find that dude or anyone else to hang out with.

But, it seems that everybody else had the bright idea to escape to another institution, military base or some form of secure area, or were sent to the safe zone because there's no one around. And I broke into a few rooms to check them out, just to be sure.

Speaking quietly, of course, but making a good bit of sound and saying that “I'm here, and how are you doing today? Im not a fuck off cockroach, or a Roidrat, or huge monster, looking to slurp your noggin like a noodle bowl. Anyone there?” No answers in my search through the building.

I would love to figure this out together with others, get some opinions and info. But, nope. No one there. Now, as I contemplate my place in the universe, and the answer for that being: me, myself, and I not in this fuck off apocalypse. I head out and down the stairs after some casual looting. Scavenging, not looting.

I don't want to mess with the energy that's floating around inside me until I get more info. Soo, I want to head out, and find someplace else to be, someplace safe, someplace I can hold up for a good day or two, and figure things out. I walk directly out and decide to take the straight and narrow. I would love to get some backup and have a posse, but, what can I do? There's no one here to bring as my back up.

Well, it's always good, in my opinion, to grab a bit more of that Fog, because you never know. Might be useful. Might be superhuman maker stuff of some type and I'm a direct type of person. I can be sneaky when I want to be but not now. So, I'm gonna walk out that door, and anything that tries to kill me is gonna get the wrong end of this hockey stick shoved in places it's not supposed to be.

The wrong end of this sharp, spiked dagger tooth is also joining in. “I'm gonna name it Daggy.” I say with the tooth in sight, jostling in my bag. “No, I'm gonna name it Spiky. Yeah. Or Stabby, yup definitely Stabby. On the wrong end of Stabby. All hail Stabby, may he stab all that needs stabbing penetration, quite lethally”

So, meet Stabby, my rat tooth dagger. If it's a cockroach, I'm gonna go with the wrong end of my Hockey stick. One solid hit and it goes down pretty quick.

The Roid rat, on the other hand, I'm not so sure I can handle, because the previous one I got rid of, well, it was impaired a good bit. It pretty much couldn't see. It was heavily concussed, and I ended its life.

Still, I mean, I understand the necessity of it vs me, but, you know, it was still alive. But, if it's between the rat and me, I'm gonna choose me 100% of the time. So,well, that's that, I guess.