“Oh? Would you look at that? What a happy family, originally five now four. Don’t you think they are more at peace now that you’re gone. Look at them, they are perfect, smiles on their faces pretending and pretending with no end. Is it really worth it? To keep wanting your place in the family again after what they did to you?”

Her cheekbones were protruding out and her cheeks had sunken so deep. She hadn’t realised how long it was been and how long she has been walking. Still questioning if this was real, she watched the perfect family that she tried to fit herself into.

“It… was never their fault. It was me… I’m the cause of my own misery.”

“R…Re… Really..?” The voice broke and began to repeat like a broken tape recorder.

The scenery changed yet again. This time, it was in her cold, damp and dark bathroom and she stood in front of her mirror. The image she saw was herself from the past. The mirror was playing a scene she had no control of.

What do I do? What do I do?! The blood, this blood! MARIUS!! Why?!

She bit the cloth she was holding to wash off the blood. She tried to suppress her tears but even her muffled screams were loud enough to echo through the room. Her stiff legs holding up her curled up back on the icy tiles, she realised she had lost something so important, something that was part of her heart and that something she could never see again. His smile, his laugh, his sorrow, his hugs and kisses, all gone.

Marius… I’m sorry, I’m sorry..! This is all my fault. Why did I push you away?!

“Why… show me this?” The real Gabbie did not feel a thing from her own own sorrowful reflection. That day was crystal clear and tainted with a bloody red tint in her head.

“Marius! MARIUS!! Please, stop this!” Gabbie screamed at the top of her lungs. Her grip was tight but it wasn’t enough to stop Marius.

Marius, agitated and fuming, he was not in control of himself anymore. Trying to break away from her hold, he finally realised at the sight of her shaking hands that what he was doing was wrong. But he still couldn’t excuse the wrongs of her parents and her cowardice.

“Gabbie… you don’t have to be be scared. I told you we’re going to face this together and we will! We will tell them about your plans, about your break year and everything that had been pent up inside of you.”

“I’ll tell them myself, you don’t have to tell them!”

“Gabbie! I’m tired of listening to you giving me excuses every time, delaying this news would be worse for both you and them. If you’re not going to do it then I’m telling them!”

“NO!”

“Why?! Is it because I’m incompetent, nothing more than a bad influence on their daughter, nothing more than an audacious rascal and a rebel constantly pushing you to do things you don’t want to do?!”

“Marius! You know that’s not true! Why would you ever say that?!”

“Well if it isn’t true, then why does your dad hate me so much as to threatening me to break up with you?!”

“What?” Gabbie momentarily paused and processed what she just heard. Doubt enveloped her mind—there was no way her father would do something as evil as that. But the doubt wasn’t completely thrown out the window because the both of them have been on terrible terms ever since Marius entered her life.

“My Mom’s job is at stake and without the job, my grandpa…”

She gasped. “Then… why do you have to show up now? You can’t show up in front of him!”

He did not utter a word. The choice he was about to make was the toughest he could ever make. To leave behind Gabbie was like leaving behind a part of him. The part of him that he started to like and appreciated because of Gabbie. As much as he gave all of his love and support to her, she would never take advantage of him like the rest of the world did. She showed him that he deserved to be loved and someone who could be called reliable.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

She reached for his drooping face, and just as she neared his face she saw droplets trickling down from his cheeks. He immediately restrained her hands and uttered in heart wrenching pain, “Gabbie… I think it’s time we part ways…”

“No..! No!! I can fix this. I’ll talk to him, I’ll tell everything! So, please, stop this..!”

“…If you tell him, would it make a difference? It would all be my fault again and I’m fine with that. But even if he accepts you once again, I should be out of the picture by then. Gabbie, you’ve got a fulfilling life and I don’t want to stop you in your tracks. This break year we discussed about was nothing more than a little fantasy of ours. I sometimes lay awake at night thinking about all the fun we would have had together on our trips if we ever did go. So… what I’m trying to say is…”

“Marius..? Have you really made up your mind?” She couldn’t help but cry.

His heart felt like it was being trampled on upon seeing her break into tears. “Gabrielle…”

“Already switched to my full name..? I see..”

He pressed his lips and faltered. Gabbie finally looked at him and said her final words. “I love you, Marius. Thank you for everything.” She smiled as she hid her sadness behind her eyes.

His instant reflex made him want to hug her but she pushed him away. “I don’t need to be reminded of your hugs when I’m never going to feel them again…”

The guilt, combined with the pain of seeing the only person that could make him feel loved, breakdown into tears, destroyed him completely. Marius wiped his tears away and smiled as he let her go. “I will always love you, Gabbie…”

The sound of a car screeching down the road and tires flying around and huge shockwave of smoke covered the sky. It was so real, it felt like it happened right in her bathroom.

Gabbie!? Are you okay? You’ve been in there for too long… please, come out…

All sounds were blocked from the world, only the ringing of the crash persisted in her eardrums. Her brother patiently waiting outside the bathroom door calling for her to come out of the bathroom but she wouldn’t budge. She couldn’t even walk straight, everything that happened after the car reached the pavement was a blur. Her unfocused eyes and panting as she raced to the hospital and finally being sent away once his parents showed up, she was lost and hopeless. The situation was too fast paced for her to even comprehend what had happened. But by the time, she could realise she would never feel his touch again, it had transitioned to her never being able to see him for the rest of her life.

The mangled lower half of his body and his unconscious face on her lap, she let out a blood curdling scream. Tears ran like a waterfall down her face, his once happy face and pretty eyes turned lifeless right in front of her. To think she could never see him smile or laugh or cry or get angry. His broken glasses pattered in the dust clouds and his hair swayed gently atop his lifeless body.

“So? What do you understand from this? Your life was a little unfair than most. An overbearing parent and a dead lover and trapped to never be able to do what you wanted to do, or was it that you lost all purpose to live after the accident?” The voice was back but this time it has cleared itself of all the static and it finally resembled the voice of a human—the voice of Gabbie.

“Seeing this again I wonder, how did I ever get through those stagnant times after his death? Lots of things happened, police reports and various others had come to ask of that day, so nothing else was more important than him. His parents… their faces…sigh…”

“But the problems persisted, the day I came home to tell them. I just had to run into Kaelin… only he was home that day, and seeing him I couldn’t hold my emotions in. Kaelin… I’m sorry…”

She sniffled a bit and continued, “Kaelin called me out of the bathroom and I was immediately met with my parents and Kyra.”

What’s going on Gabbie?! What is the meaning of this?

Those inconsiderate and ignorant words were something she was used to.

I have to tell you something… It’s about my plans. I’ve decided not to-

If this is about that drop year nonsense, I don’t want to hear it. I know for a fact that you will runaway with your “boyfriend”. Where have you been all this time anyway?! Don’t you know how much worry you cause your mother and I? Off having fun with that impudent child again?!

He had finally pulled the trigger, it was time Gabbie poured out the truth.

Let me freaking speak, damn it!! You people are infuriating! Don’t you realise how much this is hurting me? Do you not care about my feelings, about my emotions and how I feel about all this? Your pressure is killing me from the inside and that’s why I wanted to run. I wanted to run far, far away from you lot!! If it weren’t for you, he would have been happy. Now, he’s DEAD!

Her words pulsated through the entire house. Her mother fell to the ground upon hearing such a news.

Gabbie, darling… Is that true..?

Don’t you dare pretend like you care! It made no difference to you whether he was alive or dead! You treated him like shit regardless!!

Her father clenching his fists and gritting his teeth.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Is that how you speak to your parents?! And yes, what difference would it make, huh?! ISN’T IT BETTER NOW THAT HE’S DEAD?! Now you’ll know what choices really do matter!!

You’re choices did nothing but gnaw on my soul from inside out. You have no right to talk about Marius like that! LISTENING TO YOU MAKES ME SICK!!

Astonished by her words, both her parents stood in a daze. To think their own daughter would say such cruel words was unfathomable. Unable to speak any further and aware of the fact that one more word would be the last straw, her father grew concerned and cautious. But to his very deserving dismay, it was already too late to mend the wounds left open for so long.

“Rejected by your love and by your parents, what are you even fighting for at this point?” The voice was not in any way unfamiliar anymore, it was now a perfect replica of her own.

“What am I fighting for..? I don’t know… I have no one to turn to and the last two years were the worst of my entire life. Not a day passes by without nightmares. I’m scared… and most of all I’m alone… Do my parents really not care about me? I’m a horrible person to say such horrendous things to my own parents. I can’t forgive myself for my own mistakes… because even if I did, it wouldn’t seal my broken bond between them or… bring him back.”

As the world came crumbling down, even without the realisation that she had now been willingly having a conversation to the distorted, uncanny version of herself, she was slowly succumbing to the desire of… giving up.