Mira opened the small box and saw the ring with a large, dark gem set into a copper-colored band. The gem was half as long as her middle finger and just as wide. She looked closer and saw the tiny carvings beneath the surface.
“Ravenna has something similar on her glasses,” Bo took the ring and her hand, “As Skymara made her another pair, I asked her to make this for you. I thought it would be a good gift to congratulate your winning the tournament.”
As he slipped it onto her middle finger, she felt the familiar, cold numbness spread across her chest. She breathed easier as it folded effortlessly against her skin. The swirling emotions faded away to the familiar chill she had not felt since she entered Vimgraunt all those months ago. Mira frantically looked at the gift in fascination. He chuckled at her bewildered gaze.
“This is to help suppress your emotions, and with it, your powers. It will not harm you in any way,” He brought the ring to his lips and kissed it gently, “I know this would be taken as an engagement piece in many cultures… but I still hope you would wear it when you need me, and I cannot be next to you.”
Mira understood why Bo was hesitant to mention it. He did not want to force her to think about it either way.
Humans and elves tended to gift each other rings to show marriage. Dwarves braided ribbons of fabric and metal with the names of their betrothed into their beards. Orcs typically tattooed their lovers names or did nothing at all.
Mira decided to skip over the awkward nuances of the gift, “Is it obsidian?”
“Of course,” He grinned mischeviously, “What else would it be?”
“Thank you, Bobabano,” She stared at the ring on her finger.
“It is not copper like the bracelet you cherish,” He touched the mentioned jewelry, “But a colored gold. It matches well enough, but we can get it fixed once we get to—”
“It’s perfect,” A sweet smile spread on her lips as she hugged him, “Thank you.”
Her reaction surprised him, but he squeezed her in his arms. When she tried to pull away, he held onto her tighter. When she pulled back, he pouted and tried to find the words.
“I wanted to give it to you last night to see if it helped you sleep.”
“Bo.”
“My mermiana,” He kissed the top of her head, “I can only dream you’ll love me, one day. Until then, all I ask, is that you let me try.”
She didn’t know what to say. He sighed and placed his forehead against hers.
“Is that really how you feel?”
“Why would you ask that?”
Mira recalled her earlier thoughts. She didn’t want to be fooled again. Not even if the kindness he showed her continued to grow.
“You knew about the prophecy the entire time and never told me,” She closed her eyes, “I’ve opened up to you and you kept that secret from me. How could I trust you after that? How do I know you aren’t just using me to–”
“Mira, stop.”
“Why? It’s true. You only wanted to –”
“Goddess, Mira,” He hugged her, “Is that what you thought?”
Her eyes watered as she leaned onto his shoulder. She didn’t want to trust him.
“To get rid of your aunt and give your cousin the throne. I’ll still do it for you, but… why else would you want to be friends with the woman that killed your parents?”
He squeezed her against him as he gathered his thoughts.
“Countless reasons. I didn’t know that you’d be a goddess when I chose to pledge myself to you. Only after you accepted me and Amethyst told me more,” Bobabano ran his hands through her hair, “I didn’t care then, and I don’t care now. I’m here for you and only you.”
“I can’t trust that.”
“Bring in the listener if you don’t believe me, then. I’ll shout it from the rooftop if I must apologize more,” He chuckled at her shocked expression, “I don’t know what else to say, Mira. I didn’t know that’s what you thought.”
He relaxed as she slouched in his arms.
“I’m sorry. We were worried about how you would respond to the news. That’s why we waited,” He sighed, “I thought it would be better to hear the story first. I could’ve prepared you more.”
They stood clumsily against each other until he let her go. Mira knew she should apologize but didn’t want to. He hurt her and she didn’t want to forgive him. She knew that Bobabano swallowed his pride ask her about Jonen earlier, so she would do the same kindness and apologize for what she felt sorry for.
“I’m sorry I ran away,” She said sheepishly as she plopped onto the bed.
“That’s it?” He snorted.
“I’m not sorry about anything I’ve done with him. I didn’t do it to spite you for what happened before,” Her fists clenched, “Don’t I deserve to do something I want, for once? I wanted to, so I did. I love him and you shouldn’t hurt him because of that.”
He leaned back and sat next to her on the bed.
“I understand,” He smiled weakly at her adamancy, “I promise I will control my temper to the best of my abilities.”
“Thank you,” She sighed in relief, “I promise I will try not to run away when I get overwhelmed. The ring will surely help with this as well.”
Bo brushed the hair from her face and tried to change the subject to something more serious. It was an awkward subject but one they had to discuss with a lover in the picture.
“We have to talk about what has to happen going forward,” He shook his head, “I know I don’t deserve it, but… do you still plan to claim me?”
“Yes.”
A wave of relief washed over him until he asked his next question.
“Do you know what will happen when I accept?” He pulled back and met her gaze, “What exactly will have to happen?”
“I have read about it. Ravenna supplied me books on the ceremonies –”
He snorted and covered his mouth, “Sorry. Ravenna’s romance novels are not accurate. I’ve been to a few ceremonies. I can tell you exactly what happens.”
Bobabano patted gently next to him. She patiently moved to his side and watched his reactions as he found his words. He meticulously made direct eye contact with her so he could see any slight changes in her otherwise stoic demeanor. He wasn’t an expert at reading her expressions, but he could tell if she had questions that way.
“As I’m sure you are aware, it will be a lot like what happened a few nights ago, when we first got here,” He grabbed her hands in his, “Except, there will be many witnesses to the actual... event. There will be priestesses, healers, shamans, countless others… It will not be considered romantic by these customs. It won’t be anything that you deserve nor anything I want for you. I will try my best as your primary to get us as much privacy as possible.”
He squeezed her hands lightly and waited for her to acknowledge what he said. She nodded and he continued.
“Everyone in the room will be there to ensure that you become pregnant. There would only be that many witnesses on the first night. Besides that, you will not be allowed to spend a night away from me until then,” He brushed her face as she blankly stared back at him, “We would make love, as many times as it takes, until it is confirmed you are carrying my child. Only then could another man be alone with you, so there is no doubt your baby is mine.”
“How long—”
“One of my friends spent three years waiting for any intimacy with his woman because her new lover accepted her claim and they couldn’t produce an heir sooner.”
“How many times would we have to—”
Bo couldn’t help but laugh at her interruption. He understood her feelings but couldn’t help but feel insulted.
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“I told you that you’ll be pregnant with my child… and you’re wondering about how many times we have to sleep together?” He winced, “Am I that unappealing to you?”
“Bobabano, I knew this. That is how a claiming should go,” She stared at him with a doll like expression, “But it will not matter how many times we are intimate. I cannot have children.”
He blinked, “What?”
“For those who cannot have children, the claimed man would –”
“Wait,” Bo placed his hands against her stomach, “Mira, what do you mean?”
“Isaan ensured that I would never be able to carry a child,” She tilted her head curiously, “I do not have the necessary organs. They were removed.”
The world collapsed around him. His blood boiled at the thought of what else the horrid elf could have possibly done to her. The tiny woman in front of him seemed frailer. Everything that he thought to prepare her for was ripped away from him in those three sentences.
Bobabano prepared to pay off Jonen’s debts, to send him to Vanora in hiding until she was pregnant, to do anything to get her to agree to the process and make up for his actions. All the support he had prepared for her was gone. He could not understand the clueless look that stared at him as if it didn’t matter.
“Did you… did you ever want children?”
“I never thought of it. It may be a blessing given the path I am going down,” Her heartless tone broke his spirit, “Because we cannot have a child, we will have to find an heir. If you do not know of an orphaned child, I will ask that Tella becomes our heir. With your blessing, she would be brought to Agrowl. We would still spend every night together until she arrives, and her adoption is complete.”
“So,” He ran his hands through his hair, “You did read into it.”
“I told you I did. Ravenna bought a few books that she thought might help better inform me on Agrowl customs,” She patted his head, “I want to do you, and your people, proud. I knew some customs from my time there, but –”
Bobabano pulled her into his lap and felt his eyes water. He placed his head against her shoulder and embraced her. He didn’t know what to say.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“About what he did to you. I know he never treated you kindly, but I never imagined that –” He paused, “Most women would be inconsolably upset. I don’t know what to say. I do not know how to help.”
“Bobabano, many masters do that to thralls. I was a child when it happened. In fact, it happened weeks before we met the first time,” Her stoically stared back at him, “Your tribe is well known for it, Yteva especially. Menstruation can cause downtime for women. Thralls cannot breed and be out of work for months for children their masters do not want.”
“That doesn’t make any–”
“The child would take years to be worth the investment. Most enthralled women are sterilized immediately after puberty,” She paused as he took in her words, “If not, women are kidnapped or conquered from elsewhere to be used for breeding. That is just how it is.”
The emotionless words in her voice surprised him. He never paid attention to those customs in Agrowl. He had no idea and never thought to ask.
“I can’t believe they’re treated no better than animals,” He mumbled.
He couldn’t argue against it but her view on its normalcy felt sickening.
“Some women may be upset to learn they cannot have children,” She stood and looked at the dress he picked for her, “Others do not want them.”
Every woman he had ever met was obsessed with becoming a mother, especially in his culture. He was the only son of his parents and that was such a rarity in Agrowl that nobody knew how to comfort him.
“Some understand that they cannot have children, and it didn’t matter to them either way,” Her fingers traced the thin fabric, “It is fortunate that I am in the last group. There is no need to be upset over something I cannot control, anyway.”
His heart broke further. Most women carried a child with each man she claimed. The smallest family he ever saw was the three young brothers he used to play with as a child. The legacy of his parents rested on his shoulders to make more of their blood.
“If you wish biological children, we can always find a woman willing to –”
“You would let me step out on your claim to have a child with someone else?”
There were many ways to claim a man in Agrowl. The type referred to openly was as a lover akin to a husband. Because the orc population was dominated male due to genetics, most men left their tribes to find women of others or in different cultures all together. Most men only dreamed of getting claimed by a powerful or beautiful woman. The oath they took as her partner was considered as sacred as wedding vows in other cultures.
She earnestly looked in his eyes, “If that would make you happy.”
“Would that not hurt you?”
“Bobabano,” She smiled sweetly, “If becoming a father is a way for your happiness, you should pursue it.”
“I would find enough joy at your side,” He pressed his hand in hers, “I could never ask for anything else.”
“If you find another woman that loves you and want to have a child with her, I do not mind. I would not refute if she wished to claim you, if that was what you wanted.”
Bo let out a hearty laugh. He gripped his sides as he tried to calm himself down. Her bewildered expression set him into another of laughter. To him, dreaming of a becoming someone’s consort just to have another woman bear his child was as a ludicrous idea. Having the first woman simply give him away because a second loved him was as if she said that the sun was a black hole.
Bobabano walked to her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead gently.
“I don’t want another woman,” He whispered, “I want to be with you, Miradash.”
The use of her full name surprised her. Not many knew it and less used it.
“Oh,” Is all she could say.
Mira admitted to herself that she enjoyed his company. After hearing him and being more critical of their relationship, she admitted something was there. It wasn’t the same as Jonen, but she cared about him.
“I did not think I would ever be free. I thought I would die when Isaan finally had enough of me,” She rested her head against his chest, “I never expected anyone to care for me. I did not think I would ever have friends. Let alone any lovers.”
Mira intertwined her fingers in his. He held her close as she spoke.
“Every new thing is a blessing I have not taken for granted,” She tapped the ring against his chest, “Including you.”
“I know,” He held her hand to his chest, “You would not have opened up to me or been this close with me otherwise. You don’t allow yourself much comfort, besides me.”
“I am doing everything I can to help you and your people. I want to make you proud,” She smiled weakly, “I care deeply about you, Bobabano. You know this. You’ve become my closest confidant, if friend is not the right word. I cannot say I love you, but I do cherish you.”
“I will take it.”
“When we get to Agrowl, you’ll be my primary consort. That will always be your position,” She smiled, “You’ll always be with me, as my Obsidian.”
Bo genuinely smiled at her words, even though it wasn’t exactly what he wanted. She admitted she needed him in her own way. It was enough for now.
He tucked her hair behind her ear, “It just hurts to see you with him. I hope you understand.”
She shuffled and looked away from him, “Is that why you are doing these things hurt me?”
The sadness in her voice broke his heart. She could talk openly about her horrific childhood and the physical pain with it. That did not matter to her. What Bobabano had done hurt her enough to make her voice shake. He didn’t think she would circle back to the topic so quickly after their touching moment.
“Mira, I—” He grunted and shook his head, “My actions were never to harm you, only him.”
Her sadness turned into a disgruntled expression. He lowered his head in shame as the scolding he knew he deserved started.
“You are disrespectful to my friend. You call him slurs after I asked you to stop. The same slurs any of our theoretical children could have been called. You speak so cruelly and sexually about me when you know I do not like it,” She spoke softly, “Then, you hurt him because I slept with him.”
“It wasn’t to hurt you,” He mumbled, “It was to hurt him.”
“Then, Tella...” Her voice broke as tears welled in her eyes, “You know how regretful I am and pained by how she hates me. How else am I supposed to take it?”
Teary amber eyes pleaded with him to explain. Bo drastically underestimated how much she misunderstood him or have that much naivety towards others. This was not the look of a killer, a beast, or a future goddess. It was the look of a woman who just wanted to know why she felt so hurt.
“Take it as I’m a stupid man who doesn’t like to share the woman he adores and forgets that his actions hurt her,” He hesitated, “I know Jonen cares for her too. It was a comment made out of spite in a heated moment. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so sorry.”
She crossed her arms and looked away from him. He brushed his hands down her sides and rested them on her hips. She stiffened beneath his touch. He felt his confidence wane.
“Miradash, I understand I hurt you,” He held his head in his hands, “Your words earlier – saying you couldn’t trust me… It destroyed me. I want your confidence again. Please, forgive me.”
“I will try,” She whispered, “That’s all I can promise.”
“Thank you.”
Bobabano looked at the messy sheets and blankets of the bed and shook his head. He then decided to put his pride aside to start acting like he would in his future position. He slid the silky sheets between his fingers and tried to push the images from his mind. After examining the bed a bit more, he decided to ask the questions she probably didn’t think about.
“It doesn’t look like you bled,” He grunted, “Did it hurt?”
“No,” She tilted her head curiously, “I did not know that was an issue.”
“Some women find it painful at first. I didn’t think it would,” He paused, “It helps if there is appropriate foreplay as well.”
“That makes sense,” She tapped a finger against her chin, “Is there anything else I should know?”
Bo furrowed his brow. He imagined giving this woman a talk on sexual education would be only a step above reading a textbook.
“Once you claim me, one of my duties is to look after your health,” He ran a hand down his face, “I will give a proper education then.”
Thinking about how she went ahead with what felt natural gave him a headache. He had so many questions related to it, but he decided to settle that later. After an awkwardly long pause between them, he took a deep breath.
“Did you… did you at least enjoy him?”
Mira tilted her head like a curious dog, “Is that something you want to know?”
“Another duty as your primary is to make sure that any other man lucky to be with you adequately satisfies you,” He hesitated, “Despite how it might affect me.”
“Oh,” She lowered her head with a nod, “I see.”
“So…” Bo cleared his throat, “Did he take care of your needs?”
“Yes.”
“I mean did he–”
“I know what you are saying,” She covered her red face with a hand and waved the other to stop the question, “The answer is still yes.”
“Well… good. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” He grunted, “I hope it was romantic. You deserve that. It was better that your first time was with the man you love.”
She sat on the bed next to him, “Bo –”
“Our time will be different. I don’t want that for you,” He smiled sadly and brushed the hair from her face, “Perhaps one day, you will let me treat you that intimately.”
“Would that make you happy?”
“That isn’t something you need to feel responsible for,” He chuckled to himself, “You’ve got enough of things to worry about as it is.”
Mira did not respond to him. She did not know what to say. She already knew when she claimed him and what happened after. He would have her body. She already offered it to him. She just didn’t know if he would ever have her heart like he wanted.
“I don’t know how it feels,” She placed a hand against his heart, “I can see it hurts you, though. I’m sorry.”
“Do you want to stop by and see him again before we go to the trials tonight?” He stood and walked towards the door.
“You would be fine with that?”
“I hope he would take you to see me, if I was in his position,” Bo shook his head, “I will try to understand how you feel about him. Until he swears himself to you, I will still protect you from him in any way I see fit.”
“Thank you, my Obsidian,” Mira looked to the ring, “That is all I will ask of you.”