Monday, June 19th, 1978, 2115

“I’m told that this song is about the coming of spring and enjoying the falling cherry blossoms and such. But I don’t really think of it that way,” began Mare in a reserved tone as he examined the instrument, making some last-minute adjustments as he spoke. “Spring is supposed to be a happy time, filled with rebuilding and joy at the coming of summer and the guarantee of safety from the cold. But to me, this song is sad. It’s like saying goodbye to something or someone that you might never see again. And the gradual acceptance of that new reality.”

He turned their way with a chagrined smile, his eyes lingering on her. “Sorry if I mess it all up, but I hope you enjoy it. Especially Kuon and Dani. This is for you.” And with that last statement, his relaxed demeanor disappeared as he directed his entire focus to performing for them.

Dani shifted in her seat, uncertain what to expect, especially after he called her out so directly. She hoped he didn’t mess up—more for his sake than anything else—but she had to admit she also just wanted him to do a good job for her own selfish reasons.

Kiriel and the Kumire’s wore knowing smiles as if they knew what to expect, but beside her, Ellie and Anabelle sat at rapt attention, excitement oozing off of them in waves. I guess I’m excited too, she realized as Mare began playing.

The sound was unusual, to say the least; unlike anything Dani had ever heard. The closest thing she could compare it to was ironically a violin, at least from the instruments she had heard. Or maybe a harp? But it really wasn’t a very accurate comparison. It sounded like there were multiple people playing as Mare delicately moved his hands seemingly every which way along the complex instrument.

Dani was helplessly drawn to Mare’s face as he played. He tended to look quite serious most of the time, with lots of frowns and glares as he tried to make sense of the world and show everyone in it how put together he was. Now, a gentle smile greeted them as he let himself be swept away by the music. The expression seemed to fit him perfectly—far better than the hardened exterior he put forth for everyone around him. He looks happy, she realized, smiling despite herself.

The song he was playing did indeed seem sad—she could hardly believe the original intention was to express the joy of spring. The music itself had an almost trance-like quality, and she felt the present moment slipping away. Between the somber music and alcohol, she couldn’t help but be thrust right back to how she felt after her father’s passing.

“Mom, you don’t have to do this so soon. We can wait; I can ship the stuff you want once you get some space from it all. It’s too soon.”

“No. I need to do this,” Camilla said with a sad smile as she hugged a photo of her husband to her chest with a subdued shudder. “Or I don’t think I’ll be able to take even a single step forward.”

Dani sighed, shrugging her shoulders as she returned to loading the box she was working on. This wasn’t her first attempt to convince her mom not to go through her dad’s belongings, and she doubted it would be her last. But it was hard to focus through all the sobbing.

The box she was currently working on contained his clothes.

It was strange; she hadn’t realized just how much clothing mattered to her. It wasn’t like she noticed every little thing when it was happening, after all. But now, just a week after she had returned home to find her dad’s body, all she could think about was his clothes.

His favorite sweater. The one he wore every Saturday to watch cartoons with her when she was growing up. It was grey and scraggly and had a stupid simplified image of a Rapidash on it. It didn’t even look good. In fact, she had always hated it. But all she wanted was for him to wear it one more time, even if it was only for her to roll her eyes and tell him to put on a different shirt, smiling as he laughed and ignored her, pulling her in for a hug.

She folded it up, making sure all the edges were pressed just right, before setting it gently—almost reverently—in the box she was filling.

Next was his gym clothes—the ones he wore for every gym battle. They were tacky in the extreme—her dad had been committed to looking cool, so they consisted of an ill-fitting leather jacket, a plain black t-shirt, and ripped up grey jeans that left more than a little skin showing. Pale skin. Like hers.

She smiled, picturing him in the outfit. At one point, she imagined the outfit had been quite striking, but its appeal had faded as he failed to make the conference year after year. He had been thirty-one at the time of his last gym battle, and the clothes had looked all wrong on him, like an aging man trying to hang onto his youth for dear life.

She had felt embarrassed of him, hoping that the battle would end sooner rather than later so he could come home where he belonged. Now, she wished she had cheered louder instead of worrying about what he was wearing. She winced at the memory, hoping he had never picked up on her selfish thoughts.

Things proceeded quietly for a while after that. Each new outfit bringing a surge of grief as she recalled all the memories she had of them, back when things were good. Saying goodbye, one by one, in the only way she could.

She hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye.

The last time she had seen him he was so in his own world he could hardly tell what was going on around him. Like he was most of the time, when he wasn’t drunk, that was. It had scared her, if she was being honest with herself. And now he was gone.

She tactfully ignored her mother’s crying—it had become something of a staple of the household in the last week, and she and her siblings walked around as if on eggshells, lest they inadvertently set their mother off. It was a difficult time in the Fiore household.

“Dani, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” Dani replied, wondering why her mother of all people would ask her if she was okay. Compared to her mom, she was right as rain. She had to be. She was strong.

“You’ve been crying for a while now.” Her mom sat gently down on the bed beside her with a concerned look in her eyes. She didn’t look good; her normally vibrant eyes were rimmed heavily with red, and her cheeks looked hollow, as if she hadn’t been eating right for months.

“I just wanted to check in on you,” her mother began, reaching her hand out delicately, but pulling it back when Dani flinched away. “I know you’re hurting. You and your father were very close. I’m worried about you.”

Dani snorted. She wasn’t crying—it was just dust from the clothes. But she wiped the moisture from her eyes, nonetheless. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. C’mon let’s just get this finished up and move on with our lives.”

“Hey, are you okay?” whispered Ellie, interrupting her stupor even as Mare continued his playing unabated. He was either too focused to notice or didn’t care to react to the interruption. “Here’s a napkin.” Ellie pushed a napkin into her hand with a worried smile. “You seem really upset.”

Am I upset? Dani wondered. She didn’t feel upset. If anything, she felt more relaxed than she had in months. Why did Ellie react like that? She held her hand up to her face and found it wet with tears. Maybe the sushi was spicier than I realized.

“Thanks, but I’m fine,” she whispered back, using the cloth to wipe her face before bringing her attention back to Mare. The song appeared to be wrapping up at this point, and she didn’t think any of the others had noticed, enraptured in the performance as they were.

She turned her attention back to Mare and was surprised to see him looking at her. And not just a passing look. Staring. His hands didn’t stop, either. Just kept moving smoothly along the instrument, not a single note out of place. At least as far as she could tell, ignorant as she was.

Her face felt hot under his gaze, like she had spent too much time in the sun, but she was unable to pull her eyes away. She couldn’t tell how much time passed like that, but before she knew it, the song was over. The moment gone.

Dani’s heart thumped painfully in her chest for some unknown reason, and she forced herself to look away in the hopes it would help. I hope they can’t hear me, she thought. She would die of embarrassment if Kuon made a comment. Why was her heart beating so loudly, anyway?

Oh.

She looked back at Mare and his eyes caught hers as if waiting for them the whole time. He grinned shyly and she averted her gaze before she knew what she was doing. Shit. Shit. What is even going on? Why am I acting like a little kid? Just look at him normally. But… she couldn’t.

Shit.

Still avoiding his gaze, she suffused her body with the comfortable numbing energy she had become so reliant on, working it through, limb by limb, until everything was cold once more. Safe. Her heart rate slowed, and the heat on her face and chest gradually dissipated until barely an ember remained, deep in her core. Much better, she thought, internally congratulating herself on her control.

Now that she was calmer, she directed her gaze back towards Mare, noting with satisfaction that she was able to keep her face carefully neutral.

When Mare caught her eyes this time, his smile faded, replaced by a look of confusion. He took a shaky breath after the final notes dissipated into the evening air. “Thank you for listening,” he said, bowing his entire torso deeply as if he had just finished performing to a roaring crowd.

I guess this is a fairly prestigious audience in it’s own way, she thought. She brought her hands together woodenly, joining in with the polite applause that sprang into existence around her.

“Damn, I hate to say it, but he’s gonna’ make some girl really happy someday,” Ellie whispered as he began putting things away. “It’s too bad he has negative game.” She giggled, taking on a mischievous smile, “He’s better when he just shuts up and does things, like playing that instrument.”

“He will indeed,” Kiriel agreed, her face sporting a rare smile. “Despite his ‘negative game,’ I have high hopes to pair him with a good match in Johto, especially if things go south. I’m holding him in reserve, just like Sula.”

What? Dani wondered, frowning. What is she talking about?

“What do you mean?” She asked quietly. “Holding him in reserve? Reserve for what?”

“Political marriage is only expected for Mare,” Liza clarified with a gentle smile. “Kiriel has held out for a long time, frankly. I’m sure she’s been receiving offers for years. Probably some pretty good ones, at that. Everyone knows the Seiichi need to replenish their ranks sooner rather than later.”

“Oh, wow,” breathed Ellie, shooting Dani a pitying look for some reason. “I didn’t realize that kind of thing still happened.”

“Only between the older families,” supplied Kuon, who looked to be wiping away tears of his own. “It’s still prevalent in the great clans, especially among those who were awarded gyms after the last war. All of our children were married off, as well.” He turned towards them with an amused grin. “If Mare and Sula were but a bit older, they might have snagged some of ours, but alas, our children are long gone. Their loss!”

“He means married, not dead,” Liza pointed out, shaking her head. “Our children are about Kiriel’s age now, and they’re hardly much of a loss since they all took after this idiot.”

“As to Dani’s original question,” Kiriel interjected, ignoring Kuon’s look of mock indignation, “Holding in reserve simply means I’m waiting to use them for optimal effect. Best case scenario, we could convince even one clan to refrain from engaging in conflict if my worst fears come to pass. That would be worth it. And if there’s no need, it certainly won’t be difficult to find an appropriate match in Kanto as well.”

“Right,” Dani nodded, but her mind was elsewhere, still reeling from the abrupt realization that she was indeed in a foreign world; one she had no place in. She couldn’t imagine her mom suddenly bringing someone home one day just to say, “Here’s your new husband! And no, you can’t say no. Oh, and you better bear many children for the good of the clan.”

It was horrifying to her, but it cemented just how different the world that created Mare actually was. And how even if he wanted it, there was no place for her there. Not at all. Or at least not a leading role.

Her indecision about what to tell Mare had all but disappeared. It became clear in that moment that the only option left for her was to turn him down. And then what? she wondered. Just keep traveling together like nothing happened?

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“But what if they don’t want to?” Ellie asked, cocking her head, looking slyly over at Dani. “How do you know they’ll like whoever you pick? What if, for example, Mare already likes someone?”

The adults stared back at them with blank expressions at the question before breaking out into laughter in unison, as if Ellie had told the funniest of jokes.

“It’s not about liking, dear girl,” Kuon said, shaking his head sadly. “It never has; I had never even met Liza here before we married. Part of ruling is putting your own wants and needs secondary to everything else. Kiriel’s marriage was political, as well. It all works out. Love isn’t everything, or even that important. Not everyone gets that luxury, and Mare certainly won’t, either.” He turned a knowing eye towards the boy in question. “Even if he has someone in mind.”

“Huh,” mused Ellie, looking over at Mare thoughtfully. “I guess I never thought of it like that. That’s so sad.”

The table lapsed into an uneasy silence as they waited for Mare to finish putting away the instrument and rejoin them. As he sat down beside her, her heart once again began racing, and it was all she could do to stay still in her body. His elbow brushed hers and she barely managed to refrain from jerking it away as if she had just touched a hot coal.

Calm down, idiot, she told herself. Just make it through the rest of this fucking dinner.

“Well, how was it?” Mare asked as he shifted around in his seat. He sounded nervous, perhaps picking up on the uncomfortable topic or simply worried about how his performance was received.

“Dude, why are you even a trainer?” Ellie asked, holding up her hands in exasperation. “Just become a professional musician. Like, if you’re that good even after not playing for years, you must be a total beast. I wish I was even half as talented at literally anything.”

“I wasn’t aware that was an option,” Mare replied drily, looking at Kiriel as if for confirmation.

“It’s not,” Kiriel said, waving her hand dismissively. “But that’s not to say that it’s not something he can do later in life if he so chooses. It’s simply not in the cards for a primary vocation. We Seiichi have to be strong or else we’re nothing; it’s always been that way and always will be.”

“Of course,” nodded Mare. “That’s what I figured.” He turned to Ellie, shrugging resignedly. “Can’t win a war with a koto, anyway.” He examined his fingers with a wince. “I forgot how much strain playing puts on your fingers. All my callouses are gone.”

“Mare, you were phenomenal,” Liza said with a gentle smile. “I could hardly tell you were rusty. And your choice of song selection was excellent; I saw more than a few tears at the table.”

“Oh?” Mare’s eyebrows rose in surprise before his face relaxed into an easy-going smile. “That’s a relief; I was worried about bleeding ears more than crying eyes.”

“Way to rise to the occasion, dear boy,” Kuon chortled with a gleam in his eye. “And I think you were right about the song. I don’t know about spring, but I think it maybe helped me say goodbye just a little bit more. Thank you.”

“Of course! I’m glad you liked it, but I’m still glad that’s over,” Mare replied before adopting a frown. “But I have no intention of performing anything like that again, especially on such short notice.”

“That’s too bad,” Dani said before she could stop herself. Mare shot a surprised look at her before breaking into a huge smile.

“It really is,” Ellie agreed, saving her from digging a deeper hole. “If those damn koto weren’t so big, I’d say we should drag one along with us. Or is it koto’s? Mare, what’s the grammar on that?”

Mare laughed; a much more relaxed laugh than Dani had heard from him before. “You had it right the first time. I’m glad you liked it that much! It makes me really happy to hear that. That song always used to make me feel better when I was feeling sad. Sad things always make me feel better when I’m feeling sad for some reason, even though that sounds totally counterintuitive.”

“Weirdo,” Ellie commented judgmentally, but it was clear she didn’t really mean it.

“Who is up next to toast, anyway?” Mare asked, looking around the table, ignoring Ellie. “Don’t we still have three more to go? It’s getting pretty late.”

“Unfortunately,” groaned Ellie, clasping her face in her hands. “I’m definitely feeling it.” She looked up accusatorially at the rest of the table. “I’m pretty sure it’s all the other ladies! Please, toast quick, so I can call my dad and go to bed.”

“I’ll go next,” Liza offered. “Although I really do think you should wait until tomorrow to call your father.”

“Liza’s right,” Mare concurred, grinning. “You’ll probably say something even dumber than usual if you call him now.”

“Rude,” pouted Ellie as she squirmed in her seat. “I’m sure it would be fine.”

“I have to agree in this case,” Kuon interjected as he hurriedly filled up the empty glasses around the table. He gave his wife a chaste kiss on the cheek before sitting back down and looking over at her expectantly. “Go ahead, dear.”

“Thank you, honey,” Liza rolled her eyes before clearing her throat. “I would like to toast to the youth. As much as I’m proud of our generation, I’m hopeful that things will only get better as time goes on. You three,” she gestured across the table at them, “give me an immense amount of hope that things will be more than fine after we finally hand things off. So, cheers to you. Make us proud.”

“Cheers!” Kuon shouted, downing his glass immediately.

The liquor burned its way down Dani’s throat. She was definitely feeling its effects; the comforting layer of numbness she had come to rely on was leaving her faster than she would have liked, despite her recent reapplication. It felt vulnerable, and she didn’t like it. She doubled down on the numbing energy, breathing a sigh of relief as the warmness receded from her body.

The rest of the table followed suit, and there was a resounding clink as everyone set their glasses down.

“Who’s next?” Mare asked, looking around with a determined expression. Despite the alcohol, he still looked quite calm and put together, although his tan skinned looked slightly more flushed than usual. “It’s only Dani and Kiriel, right?”

“I’ll go next,” Kiriel said, holding her empty glass out expectantly towards Kuon, who once again raced to fill their glasses, breaking out a second bottle of the locally produced sake.

“I would like to raise a glass to my team,” Kiriel began. “As clichéd as it sounds, I wouldn’t be here without them. In fact, I wouldn’t even be alive. A thousand times over, at that. I wish to celebrate the pokemon that support us with their very being. Without them, we are nothing.” She ran a hand fondly over the one pokéball at her waist, her normally hard face softening for an instant.

Dani raised her glass guiltily; she hardly felt that way about her own team, comprised of bugs as they were. They had simply been something she could use in the hopes of achieving her father’s dream. She hoped she would feel differently in the future, especially after her newfound connection with Chausette. In just the last week she felt much more at home with the ghost than any other member of her team, even Geralt.

“Cheers,” Ellie shouted, downing her shot with a grimace. “Bleh. I’m dying over here. Please help.”

“Drink some water,” suggested Mare with an amused smile. “It definitely helps.”

“Drink some water,” Ellie mocked, holding up her empty glass. “Let’s just get this done so I don’t have to.” She turned to Dani. “You’re up, girlfriend; it better be something good, since you’re last. I don’t think I can last much longer; sleep beckons. A real, comfortable bed.”

Dani frowned; she didn’t have anything in particular she wanted to celebrate. Not even a little bit. Or at least nothing that the others hadn’t already covered, but she didn’t want to be unoriginal. She settled on what the song had brought up in her.

“I’d like to toast to saying goodbyes. Between Kuon’s story and Mare’s song, I can’t help but think of all the things we leave behind,” she said carefully. “But I hope we don’t forget them. None of us would be who we are today without the things that have influenced us along the way. So I’m grateful for that. Cheers, I guess?”

“Well said, girl,” Kuon said after setting down his glass, his face serious. He gave no indication the alcohol had even touched him. “We’re nothing without the people that made us, and we should remember that.” He stood up, looking around the table. “And with that, I think it’s about time Liza and I retire. It’s well past our bedtime, ancient and wrinkly as we are. The staff will direct you to your rooms.”

“About that,” Mare interjected. “Would it be possible to speak to my companions before they head to their rooms?”

“Not a problem,” Kuon replied easily as he linked arms with his wife. “The garden is free; the staff will wait here for you to finish. Just let them know and they’ll see you back to your rooms.”

“Thanks,” Mare said. “And we really appreciate you letting us stay with you while we’re here. It’s good to see you again, Kuon.”

“Likewise, Mare. Likewise,” Kuon responded, his face gentle. “I doubt I’ll see you in the morning, but be sure to stop by the gym to reserve a slot for your match. Things are filling up quickly and I wouldn’t want you to be delayed here for too long. Just tell the Gym trainers who you are and I’m sure they’ll work something out.”

“Goodnight, children,” added Liza. “Unlike my far too industrious husband, I’ll be here all day and would love to chat!” She leaned in conspiratorially, “It’s lonely up here for little old ladies like me.” She turned to Kiriel, “And goodnight to you as well, Kiriel. It was lovely to catch up with you after all these years.”

“Of course, Liza,” Kiriel said, also standing. “I doubt I’ll be leaving the Citadel tomorrow, so it will be lovely to catch up further, as well. Thank you both for your hospitality.” She turned towards their side of the table; her face sober. “As for you three, let’s touch base tomorrow to go over a plan for the remainder of the week. Let’s plan on meeting over breakfast.”

Mare sighed, a deep frown erupting on his face. “Fine. Breakfast it is. But then we have to go out into the city as soon as possible to get to training. Larvitar needs to get into as many battles as possible, and I’ll need to explore Eon’s new capacities further. And Nana needs a chance to win some battles.”

“Goooodnight, Missss Seiiichi,” Ellie slurred with a ridiculous grin on her face. “See you in the morning!”

Dani shook her head at the sight. How embarrassing, she thought. Thank Arceus I’m maintaining my composure even if my heart is out to get me.

“See you in the morning Miss Seiichi,” she added, tilting her head politely.

“Don’t stay up too late,” Kiriel warned as she departed with the Kumire’s.

“Or do,” chimed in Kuon with one last chuckle as he turned the corner. She heard a distant grunt from what she assumed was a well-placed elbow from Liza.

And then it was just the three of them. Ellie was humming a vaguely familiar song, and Mare looked deep in thought.

Dani cleared her throat. “Should we go into the garden to talk?”

Mare looked up, his dark eyes losing some of their intensity as they focused on her. “Right. Of course, let’s get going.” He stood up, heading to the glass doors marking the entrance.

“Can’t,” moaned Ellie. “Too much spinning. Go on without me.”

“Are you serious?” Mare asked, his face screwed up in distaste. “There’s a lot to cover.”

“Can’t. Won’t,” protested Ellie. She held her face in her hands atop the dining room table. Anabelle patted her back gently with a concerned look, cooing supportively. “I think I’m going to puke.”

Mare sighed but signaled one of the staff. As they approached, he put on an apologetic smile. “Would you mind getting my friend safely back to her room? With some water, and maybe a bucket of some kind? And a fresh set of clothes that don’t cost more than she’ll make in her lifetime.”

“Of course, sir,” the employee responded, keeping her face carefully neutral as she escorted Ellie out of the room, although Dani was sure she saw the slightest hint of a grin fighting it’s way onto the attendant’s face.

“Fill me in tomorrow,” Ellie shouted as she staggered away, barely staying upright even through her escort’s best efforts. “It better be good news, Mare.”

News? Dani wondered. News about what? We’re just going to talk about how to handle ourselves around Kuon, aren’t we?

“Obviously,” scoffed Mare. “Just drink some water.” He turned her way, his frown shifting back into the relaxed smile he wore just a few minutes ago. “Ready to go?”

“Ready,” she answered, following him out into the garden. Despite the hour, it was still comfortably warm. An array of floral scents assailed her senses as they made their way further out into the beautifully curated space. Numerous stylized lamps lined the edges, casting a lovely golden light over the dizzying array of carefully cultivated flowers.

They simply walked in a comfortable yet tense silence for a few moments until they neared the center of the clearing. Far away from prying ears, she hoped, considering what she suspected Mare wanted to talk to her about.

“This should be far enough,” Mare said, turning her way. “As much as I love those two, I know their staff will report anything even remotely interesting they hear.”

Dani gave a bitter chuckle. “And I suppose our run in with you-know-who would qualify as more than remotely interesting. I was scared Kuon was going to say something the entire time. I think he knows, Mare.”

“Possibly,” Mare agreed. “But that’s not what I want to talk about. We can talk about that tomorrow somewhere far, far away from the Citadel.”

“Oh. So what did you want to talk about?” She asked, unsure where things were going.

Mare was silent for a long moment, pacing back and forth a few feet away from her. The air seemed strangely taut, but she couldn’t put her finger on why.

What is he thinking about? He seemed more uncertain than she’d ever seen him. Every few steps he would look up at her and shake his head before resuming his pacing. Growing impatient, she spoke up.

“I liked—”

“I like—”

They both giggled as they spoke up in unison, the air relaxing slightly.

“You first,” said Mare, looking at her expectantly. “I’m still finding my words.”

“I liked your song,” she replied. “It made me think of my dad. In a good way,” she clarified after seeing his crestfallen look. “I try not to think about him, most of the time, because it hurts. But this time it didn’t hurt so bad. I guess? I don’t know; I’m probably not making much sense.”

“It makes sense.”

She chuckled nervously. “Right. Anyway. Thank you, I guess?”

“You’re welcome,” Mare said, smiling bashfully. “I’m really glad you liked it. I was worried I was going to fuck the whole thing up, honestly.”

“Well you didn’t,” she said before trailing off. Things were much more awkward than usual between them. Nothing like the previous times she had been around just him. She didn’t like it. “A-anyway, what were you going to say?”

A momentary pause, then, “I like you.”

He had stopped pacing and gazed directly into her eyes. Despite his pacing, he now seemed calm and collected. “And I think you like me. Am I wrong?”

Shit. Shitshitshit. Her brain froze, the conversation diverging dramatically from her expectations. What should I say?!

She could sense the determination in his words, and there was no mistaking his meaning. Not after what Ellie had told her, and especially not after seeing how he had looked at her this evening.

But after hearing what Kiriel had to say, about how she was waiting to effectively sell off her son for the right price, she knew it didn’t matter. No matter how determined he was, there was no place for anything between them.

So, she did what she had to, crushing the heat in her chest until it too, was frozen like the rest of her.