Thursday, June 8th, 1978, 1230

Dani and I looked at each other in concern before snapping into a flurry of motion.

“Nana! Get over there fast! Make sure she’s safe,” I commanded as I began running towards the source of the scream.

Dani did the same, ordering Geralt to hoof it over as fast as possible. The two fire types shot off ahead, and we trailed behind as close as we could with the juvenile pokémon and their waddling gaits.

Fortunately, we weren’t far from the ocean and reached the source of the screech in just a few moments. Nana and Geralt stood atop a slight rise overlooking the sea.

Nana looked up at me with about as much confusion as I’d ever seen him display in his gleaming black eyes. His usual stoic mannerism had been traded for something between amusement and reluctance and even a splash of what I daresay may have been pity?

Seeing the fire-dog’s relatively lax reaction put me somewhat at ease, but I still hurried to see what was happening to Ellie. I braced myself, preparing to issue commands as soon as I understood the situation.

Is it a Tentacool? Sometimes they mess with trainers. Did she step on a sea urchin, or lose a limb to a Krabby? Having grown up seeing all manner of horrific injuries related to pokemon, my mind easily catastrophized the situation, especially with how harrowing the scream had sounded.

Dani caught my eyes and gave me a curt nod, indicating she was ready for anything. I nodded back, grateful for her steady presence. Together, we crested the hill with our gaggle of pokemon trailing behind like a rear-guard.

Nothing could have prepared us for the situation awaiting us.

“Give! It! BACK!” grunted Ellie as she struggled to keep ahold of a green shirt stretched between her and the powerful tugs coming from her opponent.

Dani and I looked on in awe as Ellie struggled mightily in a battle of what we had feared was life or death.

With a fucking Chansey.

“Chansey-chans-CHANS-SEY,” the pink blob shouted in desperation as it tugged with as much force as I would reasonably expect from such an extensive collection of adipose tissue. The pink pokemon came up to roughly Ellie's shoulder, but was many times as wide.

Dani’s eyebrows were raised in surprise, and she looked to me for a decision. “Mare, what should we do? Should we send our pokémon or let them duke it out?”

I could tell she was amused by the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips even as she tried to treat the issue with the gravity it deserved.

Wild pokémon were dangerous, after all.

I shrugged, mirroring her smile as I settled in to enjoy the show. “Nah, let’s let them figure it out themselves. If it looks like one of them is at risk of injury, we can step in. I'd wager the biggest risk is Ellie pulling something, which could be disastrous if it slows her down too much."

Dani openly grinned back as she accepted the suggestion with gusto. “My thoughts exactly. I’m glad we think alike! It would've been awkward if you insisted on running in and rescuing the damsel in distress.”

“Besides,” she said with a glance down at the ridiculous scene, “I think she’s got this, don’t you?”

Not a fucking chance, I thought to myself privately as I watched the ongoing struggle, but I still somehow found myself nodding in agreement at Dani’s optimism.

Arceus, I’m such a sellout for love, I realized in mild embarrassment. A few days ago I knew I would've been unable to resist correcting her, taking the opportunity to expand on precisely why a teenage girl was no match for a fully grown pokemon. Now? I just nodded, happy to agree in the hopes it might help my chances.

We watched for a minute or two before Ellie finally noticed our presence. “Mare! Dani! I’m so glad you’re here,” Ellie called out with relief. “Get. Down. Here. And help me get my shirt back from this fatass before it gets all stretched out! I don’t think I can hold on much longer!”

Ellie’s words were choppy, considering she was gasping for air from the titanic struggle.

“Just a minute, we’re enjoying the show,” I replied, not moving an inch from my position. "Besides, you totally got this."

“Not funny, Mare! Get over here and help me! I’ve been trying to tell her my clothes won’t fit her, but she won’t let it go!" gasped Ellie, digging her heels deeply into the sandy beach.

“Chansey-chansey-chans,” the Chansey shot back under her breath, and Eon chuffed next to me at what I assume was a disparaging comment about Ellie.

“Does she have a decent sense of humor?” I asked Eon, wondering what the pokemon had muttered. My instincts told me that the Chansey was probably slandering Ellie under her breath, but I hoped Eon could shed some light on the issue.

Eon cocked her head, considering. “Eevee-vee-veve-eev,” she said with a decisive nod. "Vee."

I couldn’t understand Eon one-to-one, but after years of being in her company, I could get the gist of what she was saying; the pokemon was definitely shit talking Ellie and Eon was highly amused at whatever she was saying.

I turned to Dani, deciding we should step in before potentially losing the considerable opportunity this Chansey represented. The species was incredibly rare, especially in the wild kind this, and could serve as a tank or a healer if necessary. Eon and her ability to use Wish was alright, but Chansey could heal people and pokemon alike by doling out the constantly regenerating eggs they carried about in their pouch. The pokemon would be a huge boon to our training if we could convince her to join us.

Before I could make my case, Dani beat me to the punch. “Mare, we need to help her. This was funny for a second, but I think she could be in danger.”

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“No way,” I said with a decisive shake of my head. “A Chansey wouldn’t hurt someone unless one of their young was at risk. They’re notorious for helping random travelers or injured pokemon. I think this one is just interested in clothes, honestly.”

“Clothes?” Dani asked, cocking her head as if that was the last thing she expected.

“Clothes,” I confirmed with a nod. “Sometimes humanoid pokémon find clothes fascinating and steal laundry if it’s unguarded. Jynx and Mr. Mime are the biggest culprits, but who’s to say a Chansey can’t dream of style, too," I said with a grin as I stood up and dusted myself off. “Either way, lets get down there and get this sorted out,” I added while heading towards the brawl. “I would feel bad if she got hurt while we stood idly by.”

At this point, both girl and blob were losing steam, and they clutched weakly at Ellie’s shirt, which now looked more like a dress with how stretched it was.

“Ugh. Mare. Help,” Ellie begged weakly. “My shirt is a mess. You definitely owe me for this! You just watched me and laughed!”

She turned to glare directly at Dani. “And you! I thought you were a true female ally on this stupid, glorified camping trip! Mare, I could understand not understanding, but you’re a girl! This is my favorite shirt!” she whined.

Dani looked like a Stantler caught in the headlights at the accusation, and I heard Geralt whinny to himself in amusement at his trainer's wide eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie! I thought you had it,” Dani said apologetically. “Wouldn't it have been worse if we just ran in and assumed you needed rescuing?"

“I do have it! If you would just grab this lump, I totally got this in the bag,” responded Ellie, although her comment was remarkably unpersuasive considering she was nearly limp from exhaustion.

With a roar Chansey, finally managed to pry the mangled shirt out of Ellie’s cramping hands, holding it up over her head like it was some trophy of war.

“Noooooo,” Ellie moaned theatrically, although I could see the glint of amusement in her green eyes. She knew what she was doing.

Leave it to Ellie to make a comedy routine out of a wild pokemon. This girl can do anything she puts her mind to.

Ellie got up from her spot on the ground, dramatically brushing the sand off her pants. She glanced skeptically at the Chansey, who was now trying to fit her bulbous head into the much-too-small garment.

“You need some help with that?” Ellie offered magnanimously, considering her recent ordeal. "You're just going to ruin it if you continue like that."

“Chans-Chans,” the pokémon replied in reluctant acquiescence to the offer, watching suspiciously as Ellie slowly approached. The pokémon was clearly still wary of Ellie but seemed to relax when the trainer gave no indication of trying to steal the contested garment.

Our little group watched in amazement as Ellie somehow managed to fit the shirt onto the Chansey, although it only reached just above her arms like some bizarre cut-off designed to showcase her chubby egg-pouch.

Ridiculous.

The shirt, now more of a dress, was a pale green that matched Ellie’s eyes beautifully, but I had to admit the green provided a nice contrast to the Chansey’s rosy flesh.

The pokemon tittered gleefully, giving us a twirl as if to better display her grace.

Dani nodded approvingly at the display, and there was a chorus of various grunts and squeaks as the other pokémon chimed in their appreciation.

Ellie stepped back next to us, dusting her hands off as if to say, “All in a day's work.”

“You know, she doesn’t look half bad,” she mused aloud while looking the newly attired pokemon up and down appraisingly.

I shook my head in mute disbelief at her nonchalance at the encounter. Still as up and down as ever, I concluded. “We need to get you into entertainment. Somehow, you made an encounter with a wild pokémon seem like an intentional performance. Awe-inspiring stuff.”

“I know, right! I was, like, terrified for my life for a second before I realized what she wanted. Can we keep her, Mare?” Ellie asked, looking my way with eyes that were somehow glistening.

“Don’t ask me! I don’t have any space in my team. The priority is getting Larvitar here as strong as possible, and training a Chansey isn’t easy. If you want her, you must ask yourself if you can reasonably care for her. There’s no guarantee she even wants to join a trainer at all. Why don’t you ask her before you jump to any conclusions,” I offered helpfully, hoping the pokemon was in fact interested.

“Deal! She wouldn’t even have to battle; we can just hang out and have girls’ nights since somebody,” Ellie shot a glare at Dani, “flaked on me in my moment of need!”

“Look, I already apologized. I’m not much for girls' nights anyway, so just ask her already so we can get a move on,” Dani responded drily.

Ellie pouted. “You’re no fun! You take things just as seriously as Mare. It’s like I gained two new mothers for the one that I lost,” she joked.

I saw a chance, and I took it. Striking a pose, I tilted my chin up and looked down my nose at Ellie condescendingly.

“Eleanor dear, please don’t leave your newfound friend waiting,” I said in a falsetto as if to mimic a classic motherly tone. “Tsk tsk, children are so rude these days, aren’t they,” I waved my finger chidingly as I said it to really sell the act, giving a subtle wink at Dani to cue her in.

Much to my satisfaction, Dani caught on immediately. “You’re completely correct. Eleanor, listen to your mothers and invite your new friend for tea,” she said in an even better mimicry of what I had intended.

So pretty, I thought fleetingly as I enjoyed the silliest interaction I'd ever partaken in. Thank Arceus Dani didn't leave me hanging. I might have died if my risky joke fell flat.

Ellie went through a myriad of expressions as she rapidly processed our makeshift family drama. “Wha—,” she sputtered hilariously, “What is going on, and what did you do with Mare? The Mare I know couldn’t make a joke if his life depended on it! You’re clearly an imposter!”

I covered my mouth in mock surprise at her outburst, “Accusing your mother of inauthenticity in front of a guest? How dare you. Run along, Eleanor,” I told her with an urging wave of my hands to the confused and partially dressed pokemon.

“We’re talking about this later,” Ellie said ominously as she finally made her way directly in front of the wild pokémon that started this whole fiasco.

“Hi, Chansey! My name is Ellie. I’d like to start by apologizing for my rude behavior,” she said brightly, instantly switching to a polite and eloquent young lady.

“Chans? Chansey-chans,” Chansey questioned with a raise of her non-existent eyebrows.

“It was a misunderstanding,” Ellie continued. “If I had known you were merely trying to be beautiful, I would’ve handed over the shirt right then and there. You’ll forgive me, won’t you,” she said, taking one of Chansey’s paddle-like hands in her own.

“Chansey!” the pokémon said brightly as she put her other flipper over Ellie’s hands in acceptance of the apology.

“Oh! I’m so glad we can move past that! I have an idea if you’re interested,” Ellie offered sweetly.

“Chans?”

“If you travel with me and help keep our pokémon healthy, I think we could probably get you some gorgeous dresses that actually fit you. You would be so cute! What do you think?” Ellie asked, somehow confident in the bizarre situation.

“Cha-chans-Chansey,” the pokémon said and crossed her arms decisively.

“You don’t want to fight?” asked Ellie, seemingly able to pick up the gist of the message immediately.

“Chans!” Chansey confirmed with a curt nod.

“That’s fine with me! You don’t even have to go in a pokéball if you don’t want to. Why don’t you just come with us as a friend?”

Ellie was practically beaming now; I could tell she thought she had it in the bag and I saw little evidence to suggest otherwise.

“Chansey, chans, Chansey,” the pokémon agreed with an adorable smile and rushed to hug Ellie around midriff. Ellie patted the pokemon's head with a gentle smile.

Dani and I had been quietly watching the exchange in disbelief. I was confident that it wouldn’t proceed as smoothly as it had, and I found myself surprised and impressed at Ellie’s limitless ability to adapt to changes.

Ellie trotted proudly over to us with the Chansey trailing behind, a fold of Ellie’s shirt clutched in hand. She looked like a mom encouraging her little girl to make new friends on the first day of school.

Ironic, considering our earlier charade.

“What was that about tea, dearest mothers?” Ellie inquired formally with a triumphant smile.