“Heeeeeeeey Alex.” Zack dragged out the first word in a borderline sing-song voice. “Are you busy?”
Alex looked up from the tablet he used as a point of sale system. At Chandra’s insistence, he had used a large portion of the shared profits from the first few weeks of operation to help purchase it. She didn’t want to permanent give up her drawing tablet, and despite Alex’s insistence about rent he didn’t feel like arguing with her.
“Um,” Alex droned, looking up at the hovering green wisp. There was a trio of customers standing before him, and he pointed at them, as though what he was doing should have been obvious.
“Oh, right. Um. Okay. When you have a moment, I need your help in the, um, basement,” Zack said quickly, before dismissing his wisp to signify he was no longer there. Alex blinked several times at where it used to be, before shaking his head and turning back to the guests. He wondered where Chandra was, and directed his consciousness towards her location.
He was surprised to find her petting Jean-Claude. She really liked the kobolds. Zack chuckled to himself, before conjuring a wisp for her to talk to. “Hey, Chandra, are you busy?”
The werewolf jumped in surprise, pulling away from the kobold like she was just caught kissing a forbidden boy. The insides of her ears burned red with embarrassment. “No. I’m not busy. Why?”
“Oh, um, I need Alex’s help with something. Can you take over the front desk for him?”
Chandra frowned. “It’s his turn to man the desk today.”
“Oh, I wasn’t aware there was a rotating schedule.”
Chandra shrugged and pulled her phone out of her pocket. “There’s only a few more hours until we close. I suppose I can run the desk for a bit.”
“Thanks, I really appreciate that!”
Chandra rolled her eyes as she marched out of the hub and into the front lobby. Alex had already finished handling his group of customers, and she walked past them on their way to Greg and the armoury. As she made it to the front desk, Alex eyed her and then the wisp.
“Sorry, it’s important.” Zack bobbed his wisp apologetically.
Alex sighed and gave Chandra a thankful smile. “Depending on how long this takes, I’ll cover your shift tomorrow, okay?”
The werewolf nodded. “I was going to say the same thing.”
As the two swapped places, Zack tried very hard not to bob his wisp around excitedly. He had carefully considered how he wanted to handle this matter, and decided he wanted to show Alex first before anyone else. Greg and Chandra could see it after hours, but Alex deserved to see it right now.
“Okay, where is this basement?” Alex asked, following the wisp into the hub. “I wasn’t even aware you had a basement.”
“Technically it’s not a basement, it’s the meadow’s new second level,” Zack explained, matching Alex’s walking pace with his wisp. “There’s not much down there right now, so it really isn’t much more than a basement. I have a fun idea for what it’ll be, though.”
“Oh? Are you going to tell me, or are you going to make it a surprise?”
Zack considered divulging his plans, but ultimately decided against it. “I think you’ll be able to guess my plans once you see him.”
Alex paused mid-step. “I’m sorry, see him?”
Zack twitch his wisp eagerly, but didn’t explain anything. He wanted Archie’s existence to be a surprise.
There was a group running the meadow that eyed Alex and the wisp in confusion for a moment, but their concerns were assuaged with a quick word. Alex was just there to check in on something, and they were free to continue without worry. With Zack there to keep the monsters at bay, Alex was able to walk right to the back of the level and into Thumper’s room.
There was a new addition that definitely hadn’t been there before. It looked like a hole in the ground at the back of the room, the kind dug out by cartoon rabbits on TV. There were stairs leading underground. The hole was big enough to comfortably fit one person, or a group of people walking single file.
“That’s new,” Alex pointed out.
“It’s all part of the theme for the next level, the Dire Burrow,” Zack said excitedly, unable to contain it anymore. “Come on! It’s really cool!”
Alex gingerly stepped onto the dirt steps, and was relieved that they held his weight. He took them slowly, and Zack was half tempted to give him a shove to get him moving. Just in case, he made sure to seal the passage from the meadow side, so the customers couldn’t follow them down.
“This feels like a long way to walk in emergencies,” Alex pointed out.
The comment tugged on Zack’s safety concerns, and he filed that information away for later use. In actuality, he had an idea for how he could create easy transportation between the hub and the lower levels, but he didn’t have the skill to put it into effect just yet. “Ideally that won’t be a problem. I intend to put a level gate or something to keep people below a certain threshold out of the harder areas,” he explained. “The upper floors serve a good enough job of living up to our initial promise of living the adventurer life and all that. The lower levels are for people who want a challenge.”
Alex nodded but said nothing. As he finally reached the bottom step, he looked around curiously, and was surprised to find himself in a spacious dirt tunnel.
Zack had leaned quite hard into the burrow idea when designing this area. He briefly considered making it another grassy meadow, but decided he wanted to add some variety to his dungeon. The spider warren would be repetitive enough, but the meadow deserved better.
The burrow was presently devoid of life. Zack had yet to populate it, as he wasn’t quite sure what monsters he wanted to live down in the depths. That, and it would take a high level spawners to make monsters of the level he wanted. Ideally, Alex would be able to help him with that problem.
“This level will be full of traps and mobs to fight, but the real show is beyond that door,” Zack explained, zipping over to the end of the tunnel. He hovered before a wooden door, casting it in a soft green light. “Open it! Open it, open it, open it!”
“Okay, okay, I’m opening it,” Alex laughed. Zack’s excitement must have been infectious, because he had a grin plastered on his face. He grabbed the wooden handle and gave it a twist, opening the door with a creak.
Despite how barren and devoid of life the tunnel was, beyond the door was anything but. The room was divided into two parts. The lower loft looked like a large greeting room, with candles sticking out of the walls to provide light. A wooden ladder led to a loft at the back of the room. Alex stood on the tip of his toes to see what was on the loft, even though Zack knew he shouldn’t have been able to see much up there at all.
“Um…” Alex started, looking pointedly at Zack’s wisp.
Just then a hand reached out of the shadows and tapped Alex on the shoulder. He whipped around, jumping in surprise, and stood face-to-face with a human-sized bipedal rabbit.
“Hello, chum,” Archie said, a grin tugging at his cheeks.
“HOLY—” Alex clutched at his chest, scared he might have a heart attack.
“Surprise! Alex, this is Archie! Archie, well, I assume you already know Alex since you fought him before.”
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
“I do,” Archie confirmed, giving Alex a half-bow.
Alex stared bug-eyed at Archie for several seconds. He took in the blue fur and jutting horn between his ears. Oddly enough, Archie was wearing a black shirt, red vest, and matching bow tie. He looked like a character right out of a fairy tale.
“Thumper?” Alex blurted, unable to hold in his confusion.
“Archibald Thumperson Esquire, at your service,” Archie said, with a flourishing bow. “Zack calls me Archie, and you may too if you so desire.”
Alex looked from Archie, to Zack, and back again.
“Okay, long story short, Archie is Thumper’s evolved form. The trade off is the version upstairs is dumb as a bag of rocks,” Zack explained.
“It’s a bit more elaborate than that,” Archie assured Alex, adjusting his cuff links. “I suppose that’s an appropriately concise explanation for now.”
“I’m. So confused,” Alex shook his head. “How are you talking? Why are you British!?”
“I cracked the code for making talking mobs,” Zack said proudly. “I’ll be updating Jean-Claude and the Medibolds as soon as I get the chance. As for the British bit…”
“I believe my proclivities are based on Zack’s perceptions. Why he defaulted to perceiving rabbits as British, I couldn’t tell you,” Archie explained, crossing his arms. “I am, after all, merely an extension of his creativity and consciousness.”
“What? When were you planning on telling me that,” Zack said, mildly offended.
Archie smirked up at Zack. “When I felt you were in the presence of another mature enough to take it seriously.”
Zack considered arguing for a moment, but stopped himself. Archie was right. If Alex wasn’t around, Zack might have started trying to experiment with Archie’s explanation. That could wait until later. There was a more important reason for why he needed Alex to meet Archie.
“This is… A lot to take in,” Alex finally admitted. He took several deep breaths and shook his head. “I think I need to sit down.”
“Well, why don’t you come into my loft? We can have a spot of tea and crumpets while you catch your bearings,” Archie offered. He gestured with a flourish at the ladder, but rather than use it himself, he simply ascended to the loft in a single bound. He waved down at Alex, before disappearing over the side.
“When did you get crumpets?” Alex demanded, shooting Zack a look.
“Meh, crumpets weren’t hard to make. I had all the ingredients at my disposal, and Archie did the rest to get me the basic pattern. I have no clue why he knows how to make them, but I’m going to assume it’s because he’s British.”
Alex blinked twice before shaking his head. Carefully, worried the ladder might collapse under his weight, he ascended up to the loft. As he clambered over the side, he looked around in shock.
Zack had outfitted Archie’s loft with all the trappings of a modern apartment. There was a comfortable bed pushed up against one corner, complete with enough cushions to convert it into a couch if and when he wanted it. There was a dire television shoved against the opposite wall, though Zack hadn’t figured out a way to get electricity into the lower levels yet to make it work.
A wood burning stove and kitchen set lay off to another side. Archie didn’t technically need to eat, being a mana construct, but from what little Zack had interacted with him, he understood that the rabbit enjoyed the act of eating and drinking. Already there was a kettle on the stove heating up, and Archie had prepared three mugs.
“I hope you like your tea black. I have no cream or sugar,” Archie said in an apologetic tone, before gesturing towards a wooden table in the middle of the room. On it was the kind of table cloth that looked sewn together by a gaggle of grandmothers.
Alex sifted uncomfortably as he sat in the seat. Archie expertly twirled a frying pan and utensils. He opened a wooden ice box and extracted a glass jar of batter, which he generously poured into the pre-greased pan.
“I’m so confused,” Alex finally said, as the kettle started to whistle.
“What’s there to be confused about?” Zack asked.
Alex gestured to everything in the room, but didn’t look away from the human-sized rabbit standing over the stove. Archie smirked over his shoulder and shrugged.
“Let me summarize matters for you. Master Zack is trying to craft what his Akashic System refers to as an advanced monster. Doing so requires the pattern in question fulfill certain requirements,” Archie began.
“The first requirement was easy. It’s just making the monster talk,” Zack explained, picking up the conversation. “The second requirement was a bit harder. The monster has to be able to think and act of its own accord.”
Alex’s expression darkened as he looked to Archie again. “How did Zack manage that.”
“Haven’t the foggiest idea,” Archie shrugged. “I’ve been a thinking creature since the day I became a boss monster, but I doubt that is the reason why I gained the ability.”
“I’ll need to experiment with it a bit more,” Zack confessed. “I don’t plan to make too many monsters like Archie. He’s waaaaay too needy.”
“The basic amenities for comfort and entertainment are hardly what I would call needy, but as the youth say, go off King.” Archie flipped a crumpet out of the skillet and set it aside on a quaint little plate. As the kettle started screaming, he took it off the fire and poured hot water into a cup. Satisfied, he set both the cup and plate before Alex, before turning back and starting on another.
Alex stared at the food before him with a slack jaw. A bag floated in the hot water, turning it a rich dark colour. The crumpet steamed in the cool underground air. He blew on both twice to cool them down, then tore a piece off the crumpet and popped it into his mouth. “It’s good,” he said, in a mixture of confusion and delight.
“Of course it’s good. I prepared the batter not even an hour ago.” Archie scoffed in derision, as though Alex should expect anything less from a rabbit of his demeanor.
“So, are these all the requirements needed to make an advanced monster? Why do you even want advanced monsters at all?” Alex asked.
“No, there’s one more. And I need to make an advanced monster so the Akashic System will give me knowledge of how to make better spawners,” Zack explained. He walked Alex through the basics of how his spawners were limited to only creating things that were worth five points of mana or less, which was incredibly limiting since a lot of stronger monsters would exceed those values.
“I myself cost approximately eight mana at my current status. I suspect bringing me up to the standards Zack desires for this floor will put me closer to ten, perhaps even twelve mana,” Archie explained. He set a second cup and crumpet before an empty chair, before taking the seat for himself. Unlike Alex, he used a fork and knife to cut up his food, dividing it in a gentlemanly fashion before popping a small bite into his mouth.
“The final requirement is that the monster needs to know two spells,” Zack elaborated. “Right now, Archie only knows one.”
In demonstration, Archie’s fur turned brown and earthy, not unlike the dirt walls all around them. “I hope to upgrade my camouflage spell to a proper stealth ability sooner or later. It would be quite unfitting for a gentleman to fight in the nude, as my camouflage power requires.”
Alex frowned and quickly checked under the table. “Um. You’re Donald Ducking right now,” he noted.
“Just because I don’t require pants does not mean I wish to fight completely naked,” Archie assured him, sipping on his tea. “Also, I would appreciate you not referring to my lack of lower body coverings as Donald Ducking. Thank you.”
“See what I mean? Needy,” Zack whispered to Alex. “Anyway, Archie needs to learn another spell. I did some experimenting, and I could very easily give him the Medibold’s healing spell, buuuuuuut…”
“I don’t want the healing spell,” Archie said. “It’s just not my style. You understand, don’t you, Alex? You are, after all, a pyromancer.”
Alex blinked in surprise. “Um, a what?”
“He means you use fire magic. All your spells are fire-based,” Zack explained.
“Oh. Yeah, I mean, I guess that makes sense. What does that have to do with anything, though?”
“I am delighted you asked. Unlike some people,” Archie said, shooting Zack a derisive, side-long glance, “you are a man who appreciates distinctive talents. In this case, my skills lie in stealth combat. In fact, my entire boss room is designed for me to fight in this manner.”
Alex peered over his shoulder at the room down below. Zack watched his expression change from curious to enlightened. “The candles. You can put them out as you fight, giving yourself more shadows to hide and strike from.”
“Precisely,” Archie nodded. “Again, I would like to upgrade my camouflage power for a proper stealth ability, but that can wait. For now, I need a new spell. One that better suits my current tactics. A healing spell would be dreadfully gauche for a rogue.”
“I told him it doesn’t matter, but he insists on getting one,” Zack said. “And he won’t let me give him the healing spell.”
“He can resist your changes?” Alex sputtered, wheeling on Zack and Archie in surprise.
“Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it. I can’t despawn him without consent, either. Something to do with being both talking and intelligent. He’s able to think and communicate, which means I can’t affect him without permission.”
“We discovered that little tidbit when Zack attempted to despawn me to force the healing spell on me,” Archie chuckled. “It turns out, even despawned I have control which changes he makes to my pattern, to a certain extent.”
“Yeah, it’s weird and a little uncomfortable. It’s like having an imaginary friend with a mind all their own,” Zack’s wisp shuddered.
Alex pursed his lips and silently bit into his crumpet again. He eyed Archie and Zack in turn before finally taking a sip of his tea. From the way he shuddered at the taste, it was likely too bitter for him, but he blew on it and took another drink. “I’m not entirely sure what you expect me to do about this,” he said. “You said yourself, I have fire magic. It sounds to me like you need someone with physical powers. Chandra might be more use to you.”
“I said the same thing, but Zack insisted it be you,” Archie sighed.
“Look, I wanted my best friend to meet my imaginary friend before other people. Is that so wrong?”
Archie pinched his nose but didn’t argue. Instead, he brushed right past the comment and looked into Alex’s eyes. “How about it? Will you and the others stay after hours to teach me a new spell?”