"I can't believe Zack didn't think about transportation when he put this group together," Alex complained, as the group of four particular creatures sat together on a commuter train. The red kobold, in particular, had his arms crossed and was squeezed between the tank badger and Archie on a trio of seats. Their accompanying medibold sat on the badger's lap.

The two non-sapient mobs were faring decently well outside of Zack's dungeon, all things considered. They both stared blankly ahead, and didn't move unless ordered to by Archie. The glassy stare they both exhibited was proving to be off-putting to most of the other passengers, so they had half the train car to themselves.

"I told you to bring something to entertain yourself," Archie pointed out. He had a paperback book in one hand and a lukewarm paper cup of coffee in the other. He casually gave his drink a sip before flipping the page. "You only have yourself to blame for boredom."

"I'm not complaining about the boredom," Alex protested. "I'm just saying that taking a very public transportation option doesn't feel ideal. We're about to attempt an," he paused and looked up and down the train car, making sure nobody was watching them before whispering, "an incursion of a magical university!"

Archie rolled his eyes. "We're not doing anything illegal, Alex. We're simply going to talk to a dungeon core that just so happens to live on the property of a magical university. You need to relax a little."

"Well excuse me for being on edge, the last time we tried something like this I—"

"You died. I know." Archie let out a long sigh and dog eared his page to mark his place, then slipped the book into one of the pockets on his coat. "How long are you going to hold that over Zack's head?"

Alex blinked in surprise up at the six foot tall blue rabbit. "Pardon?"

"You heard what I said."

"But what do you mean about holding it over Zack's head?"

Archie flicked an ear contemplatively. "You really haven't noticed? It comes up in nearly every conversation you have with him."

Alex's scales turned a shade redder. "No it doesn't! Even if it did, how could you possibly know?"

Archie lifted an eyebrow. "Seriously, what is it about I am a part of Zack do people keep missing? Every emotion he has, I can feel. As a sapient mob, I can also feel the reason behind his emotions. Do you not understand the shame he feels about your predicament?"

Now it was Alex's turn to be confused. He cocked his head and considered the question. "I… I'm not sure I understand. Zack has always seemed to be his usual flippant self every time we talked."

"Of course he has. Alex, he loves you like a brother, and he would do anything in his power to protect and care for you. That is up to and including dragging your soul back from the precipice of death and making sure you can continue living."

"As a kobold," Alex reminded him.

"Would you rather be dead?" Archie snapped.

Alex flinched and looked away, his ears drooping. "I… I don't mean to be ungrateful…"

"Well, you are. I'm sorry if this is harsh, but Zack would never tell you how he feels. It falls on me to talk some sense into both of you it seems." Archie let out another sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Whether or not you mean it, everything you say weighs on Zack's mind. He's worried about you, and wants to do anything he can to fix what he did to you."

Alex looked down at his slim, scaly fingers. At some point during the coversation, he'd grabbed the loose fabric of his clothes and started squeezing. His grip was so weak now that he barely even realized it. "I don't blame him," he muttered.

"Don't you?"

Alex closed his eyes and took slow breaths. Did he blame Zack for his current form? Was that why he was constantly reminding Zack and the others that he died?

Some small part of him screamed yes at the question. Whether or not he'd intended it, he blamed Zack for getting him killed and then turning him into a kobold. Except, that's not really what had happened.

"I chose to stay by his side," Alex mumbled. "I made the choice knowing the risks. Snow was on a rampage. Nothing was going to survive their clash. I… I threw myself between Snow and Zack to protect him."

"And Zack thanked you the only way he could. There's only so many times he can apologize for not doing it in an ideal manner," Archie said. He put a gentle hand on Alex's head and gave him a light tap.

"I'm sorry," Alex grumbled.

"Water under the bridge. But you need to tell Zack when we get back, okay?"

Alex nodded and looked up at Archie. The rabbit was sipping his drink again, even as he used Alex's head as an armrest. The two sat silently for a bit, the only sound being the rumble of the train beneath them. After a few moments of boredom, Archie extracted his book again and resumed reading. Peering at the cover, Alex reasoned that he was reading a saucy romance novel.

"Are you actually reading a werewolf romance book?" Alex asked, incredulous.

Archie looked away from his reading to check the cover. "I suppose I am. Why, is that a problem?"

"No, it's just… I can't imagine you needing one given you're in a werewolf romance."

"Need has nothing to do with it. I happen to enjoy this story. A man ostracized from society finds love in the least likely place, constantly worried that the beast inside will betray him. It's a fascinating read. Why, what do you prefer?"

"Sword and sorcery fantasy," Alex said, without skipping a beat.

Now it was Archie's turn to stare incredulously.

"What?"

"In case you so quickly forgot, there is very little fantasy in those stories anymore. Most of their content has become real in the advent of the Boom."

"Hey, which one of us has been around the last five years?" Alex reminded him. "Besides, not everything is real. You can't go on globe trotting adventures full of mysticism and danger. The science behind magic has taken a lot of the, well, magic out of it."

Archie looked up and down the train car quizzically. A passenger on the other end—a squat dwarf in a business suit—was giving them the stink eye, but nobody else paid them the time of day. "What do you call our current endeavor?"

"Archie, I would hardly call taking the train a few cities over a globe trotting adventure full of mysticism and danger. Maybe the danger part, given what we know about Matt, but hardly the mysticism or globe trotting."

Archie chuckled and nodded his agreement. "I can't much argue with that."

The topic having run its course, Archie flipped the page and resumed reading. Alex looked down at his fingers and twiddled his thumbs, regretably realizing that he was bored. He considered pulling out his phone and playing a game, but he knew that it would do nothing but distract him from the task ahead.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Pulling the device out to check the time, he wasn't even surprised to notice that he had no reception. Trains so often were out of the way from cities that losing reception was a normal risk. Alex was with a cheaper provider that really only had reception towers in major cities, so he wouldn't have a signal until they made it to Waterloo.

Just as he was about to check his apps for something to read, a shadow passed in front of him and stopped. Slowly, he panned his gaze up and spotted the suit-wearing dwarf peering down at him through narrowed eyes.

"What the hell are you?" He demanded, looking at the four strange creatures sitting on the bench.

Archie let out another frustrated sigh before pocketing his book, and started talking before Alex even had a chance to fully register the question. "We're a band of dungeon mobs on a train, obviously. What a stupid question to ask."

The dwarf's eyes bugged. "I beg your pardon!?"

"Please do. On your knees, preferably," Archie scoffed. "We're commuters, same as you. We paid our fare, so we have just as much right to be here as you."

"I've never seen you, and I take this train every day!"

"Why should that matter?"

The dwarf made a disgruntled sound. "I never!"

"Archie," Alex whispered, grabbing the hem of the rabbit's coat before he could antagonize the dwarf any further. "Listen, sir, we're just ordinary commuters. You don't need to pay us any mind."

"Like hell I do! I'm not sharing a train car with a bunch of monsters!" The dwarf protested.

At the use of the word monster, Archie immediately rose to his feet. Sensing something bad was about to down, Alex jumped off the seat and tugged on the rabbit's coat as hard as he could. Despite his diminutive size and diminished strength, he was able to pull Archie off balance.

The rabbit staggered and struggled to right himself as the train continued roaring down the track. Once he was properly standing again, he looked down at Alex apologetically, then turned back to the dwarf.

"Respectfully, we are not monsters," Archie insisted. "Monsters cannot speak."

The dwarf sneered. "Just because I've never heard of talking monsters doesn't mean they can't happen."

"Sir, as you can clearly see, I am just a humble wererabbit. My companions are a werebadger and two werelizards."

"Do you honestly expect me to believe you're, what, on your way from a werebeast meet and greet? Like hell you are! Nobody would travel in a beast form if they had the choice of being human!"

Now even Alex was beginning to grow frustrated with the dwarf's behaviour. Seriously, what kind of person marched up to somebody on the train and started questioning them like this?

Clearly somebody important enough to be wearing a fancy suit with a gold watch, Alex thought, noticing the dwarf's wrist. Though not important enough to drive himself to work.

Before Alex had a chance to point that out, the badger beside him slowly rose off his seat. The medibold that had previously been sitting in his lap leapt to the side to get out of the towering brute's way. It was an impressive sight, standing as tall as an orc and just as wide.

"I think you should leave," the badger said, in a deep basso that rumbled out of its chest.

The dwarf stared up at the beast, craning his neck back in a vain attempt to look it in the eye. Even from his position, Alex could see that there were no lights on in the badger's gaze. It stared glassily down at the small man, its lips pulled back to show off the impressive set of teeth.

The dwarf took several steps back, before bolting back to his seat at the other end of the car. Alex watched him go curiously, before turning back to the badger. "I didn't realize you could talk," he said.

"It can't," Archie grumbled, retaking his seat. "It's very good at following orders, though."

"I didn't hear you give it an order," Alex noted, retaking his own seat again. As he did, the medibold hopped up to sit beside him. The badger remained standing, crossing its arms and looking as tough as possible. It wasn't a challenge, given its frame, the armour clinging to it, and the hammer hanging from its waist.

"Telepathic communication," Archie explained, tapping his temple. "Dungeon mobs are all linked to our core telepathically. In Zack's absence, I can control them exactly as he would."

"Would he appreciate you doing that?"

"In an emergency, absolutely. In this case, he specifically gave me mobs because I can control them."

The train lurched beneath them as it started moving downhill, but the badger seemed completely unphased by the shift. It continued standing perfectly straight, barely adjusting its balance to account for the change. When the train levelled out again, its balance shifted once more.

"I hate people like that," Archie finally grunted, crossing his arms. His book lay discarded on the seat between him and Alex, and he gingerly retrieved it. He found the last page he dog-eared and flipped forward a few times to find his lost place.

"Dwarves?" Alex asked.

That earned him a snort of laughter. "No. People who demand justification for someone's existence."

Alex frowned and peered down the train car. The dwarf was still watching them, and now so were several other passengers. Most of them were human, but a fair number were other races. A couple goblins caught Alex's gaze, and looked away as he waved sheepishly.

"Something you learned from Chandra, I guess?"

Archie nodded. "People have their biases, whether they realize them or not. Most people see someone like us and think danger just because we're…" He sighed and shook his head. "No, I'm not going to repeat rhetoric. The point is that peope don't like different. Different is dangerous. It doesn't help that we're armed to the teeth, of course."

At the mention of teeth, the badger chuffed and pulled back its lips to show them off.

"We're probably going to get kicked off at the next stop," Archie grumbled, once more dog-earing his book and tucking it into his pocket. "Shame. I was enjoying the ride."

"What makes you say that?" Alex asked.

Archie's ears flicked and swivelled. "I can hear that dwarf talking on the found. Sounds like he has the number of a train constable and is calling to lodge a complaint about us."

"But—"

Archie raised a hand in a calming gesture. "We're close enough to our destination that getting kicked off the train would be a delay, nothing more. It seems like you'll be getting your wish after all, and we'll be going on that globe trotting adventure."

Before Alex had a chance to protest again, the train intercom blared. "Now arriving at: Kitchener."

Archie rose from his seat and motioned for Alex to do the same. The medibold silently followed after them and stared blankly ahead. As the train came to a complete stop at the platform, the doors on the wall slid open to reveal a pair of officers in blue uniforms standing guard.

"As expected," Archie sighed, shaking his head. "Come on."

Alex followed silently behind the rabbit, side by side with the medibold and backed up by the badger. Upon spotting them, the cops seemed to reach for their weapons. Archie raised his hands in a placating gesture, mirrored by both the medibold and the badger.

Alex kept his arms at his side. He was a carded adventurer, and in the worst case scenario he could whip out his ID and explain that they were on official adventurer business.

"These are the ones, officers," the dwarf huffed, running up to the doors and waving a finger at Alex's crew. "These are the beasts that accosted me!"

"We'll take it from here, sir," one of the cops said, waving the dwarf off. "You four, step off the train, please."

"Of course," Archie said, following the officers off the train and onto the platform.

Alex followed next, along with the other two mobs. He eyed the cops suspiciously. As an adventurer, he knew that conventional police weren't supposed to deal with monsters. It was too dangerous to fight them without substantial magical aid, and most cops just didn't have the kind of skill to do so.

"Sir, are you aware that what you're doing right now is a felony?" Alex asked, stepping up to stand beside Archie.

"You threatening me, kid?" The cop grunted.

Alex shook his head and reached into his shirt to pull out his adventurer license, hanging from a lanyard around his neck. He didn't even need to hold it up high enough for the cops to see, as the telltale orange card was impossible to miss. "Adventurers like me are supposed to handle creatures like these. You're interfering with official adventurer business."

Archie shot Alex a glance, before earning a very subtle tilt of the chin. Alex could handle this.

The two cops shared a look with one another as the train doors closed behind them. "I'm not messing with that badger," one of them finally said. "The paperwork alone for messing with adventurer business just isn't worth the trouble."

"Yeah," the other grunted. They didn't relax their stance, but they did take a couple shuffling steps back.

When the train finally pulled away from the platform, the two cops started backing away with increased speed. They didn't look scared so much as they looked for a fight if one came their way. When it was clear the four monsters had no plan to cause trouble, the two cops finally relaxed and headed off the platform.

Archie sighed and shook his head. "I would have much rather take the train, but I suppose this will have to do. Badger, on all fours please."

The badger obeyed, dropping into a surprisingly natural four-legged stance. Without a prompt, the medibold climbed up onto the badger's back and straddled it.

"You too, Alex. Onto the badger," Archie said. "We'll have to travel the rest of the way on foot, and it'll be faster if the badger carries you kobolds. The big guy can keep up with me, but you two can't."

Alex looked momentarily taken aback, but wasn't about to argue. He knew exactly how fast he could run—not very fast—and for how long—not very long. Without protest, he climbed up onto the badger's back and held onto the medibold. Nodding in approval, Archie dropped onto all fours himself and bounded off the platform and down the road. The badger took after him at a thumping gait.

Somehow, Alex knew he was in for a bumpier ride than even the train.