The merged slime oozed toward me menacingly and I began to back away through a tunnel into a segment of the cave I had not explored yet. Four baby slimes were no match for my face-munching powers, but my Mimic-sense was telling me that this combined slime could really do some damage. And my stamina was still low from prolonged hunger.

Despite my retreat, this mindless POS (pile of slime) pursued, an ugly frown dripping from its visage. I was scooting back as fast as my tendrils could take me, but the slime was keeping pace. This epic chase scene was likely as thrilling as watching a slug chasing a snail, but bear with me.

As soon as I entered the next cavern my amorphous nostrils were filled with the wonderful scent of fresh meat. This was the odor I was yearning for! Alas, such an inopportune time. Or was it?

I swiveled my body and my eyespots beheld a family of… wait for it… let me concentrate…

[dire rats]s

They were nesting in this pocket of the cave, and now alerted to the moist commotion squelching their way.

By the way the rats tensed and readied themselves, probing the air with their noses, I could tell they did not have [Darkvision] in the same way that I did. At best they had [Low Light Vision].

Advantage Mimic.

I edged up to the cave wall and froze. I retracted my appendages. I tried to remain perfectly motionless.

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[Skill Discovered]

[Master of Disguise (Objects) - Level 1]

Alright…

Whatever the dire rats could see of me in the darkness should have looked like a simple wooden chest. As a note to self, I really needed to get a HANDLE on all this skill and attribute business. But for now I would have to keep the LID closed on that idea, hold my cards close to my CHEST.

I did not discover a skill for making clever puns.

The rat family bristled as the angry slime rolled into the rat den, gurgling threats of bodily harm and searching for me. The slime wouldn’t have been fooled by my disguise, but the rats now viewed the slime as the aggressor. For all I knew, the slimes and rats had been friends, practically next-door neighbors living harmoniously until this very moment. Did I feel bad?

Nope.

Two of the rats leapt to attack, sinking their diseased teeth into the [consolidated cave slime]’s gooey love handles. The slime shuddered, lashing out with pseudopods of its own (you call those pseudopods?), knocking one dire rat to the cave floor and choking another by forcing its slime down its throat.

But then the third dire rat circled around, flanking the slime, and went to bite its gelatinous behind.

If I had popcorn, now would have been a good time to eat it. Blood, tufts of rat fur, and globules of slime flew this way and that as the fight unfolded. The death squeals of dire rats echoed through the den as the slime’s acid sizzled against their bodies. But the dire rats were frenzied, and managed to rip apart the slime until its body could no longer hold its form.

In the end, two rat corpses lay in an acidic puddle and a third hobbled back to its nest, one of its hind legs badly disintegrated. His brethren had bravely given their lives defending their nest and he was the last rat standing. My hero. My champion.

CRUNCH! CRUNCH! GUUULP.

To say that he was the best meal of my life was a literal fact.

[common mimic has leveled up]