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Chapter 98: PR

I lightly cursed as I saw the two centipedes approach. Low to the ground mobs were a terrible match-up for a shield bearer. I threw my spear at the bugman and pocketed my shield, taking out my giant hammer to use instead.

The bugman jumped back and dodged the projectiles that were coming for him instead of pressing the attack, clearly not too inclined to fight after leading his pets to me.

The Great Burrower Cult Caraman Tamer

Lvl7

The burrower cult is a joke, most participants join because they want to feel special and unique and think that being part of a cult will do that for them! These sheeple usually end up brainwashed into expendable fanatics, a result of combining recreational drugs added to the punch bowl and some good old social pressure! Ironically, this cult of bug worshippers doesn’t use any mind-controlling worms, mostly because those worms have higher standards than to join this sorry lot!

The Caraman are the result of a local cell being a bit more… proactive, in their worship and/or have some overzealous ring leaders. Convincing or forcing members to undergo a gruelling transformation that only a few survive, the monster you’re looking at is their idea of ‘an ascended being’! This one is quite the disappointment even for them, their carapace far from fully grown and their body still mostly human. They have some mental control over simple-minded bugs, but even then it takes them months to subjugate simple-minded centipedes to not attack them or each other! Obviously they’re not really threatening without their leashed pets.

I ignored the cultist for the time being. Instead I looked at the two massive centipedes with their many wriggling feet and creepy bodies. These things were already insane predators in real life, attacking their prey with the same suicidal ferocity that the AI gave animals in here. I’ve seen Youtube videos of larger centipedes attacking full-sized rats and winning, thanks to sheer Leeroy Jenkins attitude and their paralytic poison.

Combine that with their heavy plating and low to the ground bodies, they were actually a very dangerous foe to deal with. Not so much for humans thanks to our size, but the dungeon made sure to remedy that issue.

Fortunately I was no longer just relying on my spear, and a low to the ground body had its downsides too. At least, if your opponent had a hammer perfect for downward swings, that is.

As I prepared to fight these things, Alexa flew up to my shoulder wearing her nurse outfit, fruitlessly trying to pull down her way too short skirt a bit further. The moment she landed on me, I saw her passive regeneration buff appear in the corner of my HUD.

The first centipede’s head exploded as I brought my hammer down, my weapon’s Earth Shattering Blow skill being more than enough to defeat the lvl8 critter.

“Yeah! Kick his arse, Darryl!” Alexa cheered, glowing briefly as she cast a minor strength buff on me. She looked confused, and then tried to play it off as if she totally meant to do that on purpose.

The other centipede ignored the death of their ally and attacked my exposed ankle. I felt a jolt of pain as they bit down, but no poison spread through my veins and Alexa was already regenerating the health I lost.

The centipede, true to its nature, didn’t give a shit and immediately began to crawl up my leg. It was up to my chest in no time and Alexa looked a bit queasy just looking at it.

I grabbed the centipede’s head and pulled it off me. The bug didn’t have an adhesive grip on my skin so it couldn’t stop me, but it had remarkable core strength and quickly shifted its lower body to coil around my waist to hold on.

“Alexa, Mana Bubble.” I said.

“Ah, really? But we were done with that.” Alexa pouted, but took out her sceptre all the same.

“I’ve got this, transform first before smiting this thing.” I said.

“With diligence, smarts and popularity, I am no longer a child. I am Alexa, highschool student!” Alexa said as she went through her transformation routine.

Her hands went over her skirts as if to straighten them out, and they turned into a schoolgirl skirt. Her hands went up as if buttoning up a blouse super-quick, a white blouse appearing as she did so. She readjusted her glasses, the black frame without lenses appearing in her hand on cue, and she then grabbed invisible cloth at midriff height and pulled it forwards to make a thicker deep green vest appear. The transformation ended with a sparkle, her long white socks and typical black school shoes having appeared without her prompting.

“Now die, you ugly freak!” Alexa said, pelting the centipede with energy blasts.

This only seemed to enrage the centipede, driven so much by bloodlust and hatred that there was no place for fear or self-preservation. Its harmless antennae slapped my face fruitlessly. It struggled in my grasp, and then gave up to instead try to get to Alexa with its rear instead of its head.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

I stretched my arm the moment it let go of me, and the centipede’s body curled impotently as I pulled it off of my torso. After some frantic dangling, it slung itself over my arm and quickly coiled around my arm in a death grip.

Alexa kept attacking it, and I looked over at the bugman.

“Hm? Oh yeah, that guy ran away the moment you killed his first freak pet and the second one’s bite didn’t do shit.” Alexa said.

Darryl: The Great Burrower Cult Caraman Tamer

Livia: Not sure. They can be related to a quest or story, but they can also be mooks for grinding.

Livia: Tamers comes with some random bug on a leash, you don’t have to worry about the tamer most of the time. They run away and later appear with a new bug spawned at the neighbourhood boss room, so kill them when passing through but let them run when grinding. They tend to run to the boss room without detours, convenient if you’re looking for it.

I shrugged. “If we don’t have to worry about him, that saves us some time. Thomas wanted us to regroup, after all.”

“Right. I bet that guy is from the same sentient mobs that he mentioned.” Alexa said.

I nodded, and the furious centipede in my hand began to struggle less energetically when Alexa put its health in the red. I crouched and picked up the dead centipede with my free hand, before turning to Thomas’s general direction. I walked back to the main road as Alexa continued to slowly kill the giant bug, and traded the dead one to Danny to use for armour material while I was at it.

We were a couple of minutes away from the others, but as we hadn’t gotten any messages that things escalated I walked to them at a leisurely pace. Let’s not run headfirst into an ambush.

Tare: This is a copy pasted message, do not respond and do not fill this chat with clutter. I’ve been assigned to over 500 crawlers, so I don’t have the time to chat with everyone. Don’t expect me to respond quickly, or at all depending on your question. I am not a crawler manager to answer your questions about the dungeon or surviving it, and will be ignoring these.

Tare: I have been assigned as your social manager and PR agent, crawler #12,985,917, and will be marketing you to clients. I will inform you of shows and guest appearances you’ll be making. There is on average a 15h heads-up before appearing on a show, and we expect you to be ready, presentable and not in combat when the time comes. You lack the popularity to demand rescheduling, even for events that won’t be live, but we reserve the rights to change these times on short notice if required or convenient.

You will be limited to up to two shows per floor, though you need not worry about that limit with your current popularity. In the event that there are three or more shows to choose from, you will be notified and will be involved in the choice. Be aware that Borant has final say on which shows you will appear on, and we have the right to refuse to rent you out to factions and shows that we disapprove of for political, religious or cultural reasons.

I will be reviewing your most significant events and give you marketing advice on your performance. Be aware that this may take a while, because again, I’m handling 500 crawlers. Your party will be assigned a personal manager once it reaches one-hundred trillion followers, so aim for that number.

That’s all for now. Keep up the good work, and kill, kill, kill!

Huh, so that’s a thing, I guess.

Ben: Hey Livia, I just got some messages from some guy named Tare, saying he’s now my PR agent? What’s that about?

Livia: Tare, huh? Well, could be worse. He’s not going to bother us much, and will probably shove all responsibilities that I can do for him to me. In fact, I assume that his ‘marketing advice’ is going to be that you should listen to me. He’s mostly going to search for shows and events that are asking for crawlers with certain features or specifications and offer you guys where possible, and maybe occasionally glance at your feed when notified of something noteworthy.

Livia: They usually assign crawlers a PR agent like that when they enter the third floor, with the exception of a few popular crawlers that get the special treatment. I guess the delay is caused by everyone being a bit overworked with the rushed schedule.

Livia: Be aware that he, unlike the audience, can read these chat messages. He probably won’t, but just to be sure you shouldn’t badmouth him or the company.

Darryl: Everyone else get Tare as well?

Elise: Jup.

Thomas: Affirmative.

Miho: I did.

Alexa: Me too!

Livia: I assume that your entire mega-party has him as their PR agent now. You’re assigned an agent based upon your favourites and followers, but we long since included the party in that equation to not have multiple PR agents working for the same group.

Livia: Not great for you, Alexa, as the average decreased your popularity. But you probably wouldn’t get a better agent either way, and we don’t really need one that badly. We’re banking on word of mouth to spread your name, after all.

Livia: Don’t worry about appearing on shows quite yet, we’ll snare up someone to feature you later.

Alexa: What about the show we have today?

Livia: What!? What show!?

Alexa: Something called Death Watch Extreme! with Maestro? Tare said I’ll go there ten minutes before the 7 days point. So in about five hours something.

Livia: You’re already being scheduled for shows!? That’s…

Thomas: Wait, I didn’t get a message like that.

I looked over at Alexa, and she glanced back at me.

“You didn’t get invited either?” She asked.

I shook my head and glanced back at the chat.

Elise: Urgh, so not only do I have to talk to that arse again, you guys don’t have to come? Unfair.

Ben: I got invited too.

Miho: I’m not, I guess.

Darryl: Nope. I guess that Maestro invited the people that did well last time, while Thomas and I had been rather quiet most of the time.

Livia: Oh, so it’s just a repeat visit. Good, then-

Livia: I mean, it’s a good thing that you’re getting some exposure already, Alexa! Take full advantage of this opportunity! Expose yourself!

Livia: Popularity-wise! NOT by stripping!

Livia: Stupid Earthling synonyms.

“Alright, Alexa. I’ve been on that show before, let me tell you what to expect.” I said.