“I’m fine with it.” I said.
“Me too.” Ben said.
“This party long since stopped being a harem, so I don’t mind. There’s no point getting salty about it anymore.” Elise said, though I wasn’t sure what she was talking about.
“Only if I can ride her into battle sometimes!” Alexa said.
“It’s unanimous.” Thomas said. “I’ll ask Mr. Geruet to transfer the leader status for a moment, and we’ll invite you to our party.”
“Mr. Geruet?” Miho asked. “Who’s that, and where is he?”
Thomas R. Haanen is now party leader!
Miho Nichiki has joined the party!
Frederic K. Geruet is now party leader!
“Our party is a lot bigger than just the five of us, but the others are elsewhere. Possibly on the other side of the map, even.” I explained.
“Shit, you’re in a big party indeed!” Miho said.
She wasn’t wrong, the party already started with about two dozen people, and our group was far from the only one inviting new people left and right. Some people even seemed to be in a recruitment frenzy, raising our party to be over fifty people despite the discouraging amount of people dying left and right.
Our party in particular had been getting quite a bit of attention though, in no small part because of the gold quest that everyone could see. The moment that we mentioned that this princess was a City Boss, something the quest itself didn’t mention, most people lost interest. But we had also been giving our Skin Grafter a steady stream of Krutnik plates, and plenty of people wanted some nice heavy armour.
The Krutnik were by far the most suitable corpses we found thus far for that, and the Juveniles were better than the Young Reaver plates we gave Danny before. Not to mention the incredibly thick and hardy chitin and teeth we ripped off of the Excavator before we could even hope to lift up the behemoth. I wondered what kind of crazy armour Danny could make with that stuff.
But we gave Danny the go-ahead to craft Krutnik armour for other people first. The higher his crafting skills were, the better the armour he’d make for us. I might still be topless at the moment, but I was hardly vulnerable.
Right now we needed a rest, though. The Krutnik adventure only took about two hours, but it had been an exhausting two hours with a good three hours getting there and another three going back. Not to mention our transformation time only counted as half resting, so we had technically been awake since the Mud Hag battle and then some. Possibly even a week when counting the training dummy time dilation.
As the sky started to grow dark above us, we returned to the village where we first met Tolley and quickly found our way back to the bar. The guards that had been frozen in place all day jumped into action when the sun touched the horizon, leaving their posts to go rest in the mayor’s mansion.
“Finally, I can use a good night’s sleep.” Ben said.
“At least my feet aren’t killing me anymore, not with these comfy slippers and the floating.” Elise said. “But I can definitely use a bath. A long one…”
“I think we can all use one. But before we do that, there’s still something left to discuss.” Thomas said, turning to Miho. “Let’s talk about you and Alexa. We don’t actually know what your race and class are all about.”
I opened the door and walked into the tavern. “Yes, I suppose that we can really use a quick summary on what you guys can and cannot do. And there are a few tactics and ideas that I’d like to discuss about our own abilities too, now that we had the chance to use them in practice.”
As I entered the establishment, a middle-aged fairy suddenly popped into existence right in my face and yelped as I walked into her. Considering her small size, it was as if a bus gently ran into her. She was violently thrown backwards and went into a death spiral trying to steady herself while flailing her arms and legs in a most unproductive manner.
I caught her and she struggled against my grip, failing spectacularly to even budge my fingers. The moment that she realised that my cupped hands weren’t actually restraining her, she scoffed and sat up straight in a futile attempt to look dignified.
Livia de Beaumonde – Rev-Up Manager
Level 49.
This is the Manager of Alexa Gemenetzis
What’s worse than a Karen demanding to see the manager? A Karen who is the manager! For the employees it’s a fearful flip of the coin whether she will go nuclear on the client or them when summoned to the register to settle a dispute. But either way, she’ll go nuclear!
The Rev-Up Managers are all terrifying monsters like this, trained to be as destructive and demanding yet ineffective in granting any solution to the problem at hand. Thus ensuring that no client dares ask to see the manager and no employee dares to make errors, lest a foolish client makes the request after all!
“Hmpft! Well, this isn’t exactly the first impression I was hoping for.” Livia said, standing up and straightening her leaf-like skirts. “Ignore the description, I know what it says. No, I’m not like that. Unless you make me, of course.”
“Alright young lady, what took you so long?” She asked, turning to Alexa.
“Me?”
“Yes, you. It’s almost nighttime. Just a few more minutes and you could’ve been torn apart by angry Bugaboo Bears out there.” Livia asked, crossing her arms in front of her sternly.
“Uhm… Who are you?” Alexa asked.
“I’m your manager, dear. Your class comes with that feature, remember?” Livia said.
“Wait, shouldn’t Zartas be her manager if that’s the case?” Ben asked, shuffling past me into the bar. Realizing I was blocking the entrance, I stepped forward so that the others could come in as well.
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“Yes, normally he would be.” Livia said, scoffing when she heard the name but not breaking eye-contact with Alexa to look at the rest of us. “Fortunately for you, young lady, someone else picked the Manager perk as well. Borant is well-aware of Zartas’s… less than average performance ratings, so they assigned him to the less popular crawler and hand-picked me to be your new manager. As a former Loli Idol myself, I know much about your class and powers.
“I’ve been watching your feed ever since you left Zartas, and have been waiting for you to enter a Safe Zone. Which took you quite some time. While I approve of you using your allotted time optimally, it was quite vexing that I had no way to communicate with you until now. The stupid interface system doesn’t allow me to link us in a private chat until we meet face to face.”
“Sweet!” Ben said. “If you’re a manager, that means that you can tell us all kind of things about what’s to come and the challenges we’ll be facing, right?”
“Yes, I suppose I can. I don’t have the dungeon compendium to check on every obscure skill, so if I don’t know it from memory then I can’t tell you.” Livia said. “But I’m Alexa’s Manager, first and foremost. And honestly, I’m not sure if she should stay in a party with all of you.”
“What!?” Alexa said, wrapping her arms around my neck as if Livia was going to physically drag her away from us.
“Don’t fuss, you can keep the Talossian.” Livia said. “He’s muscular, simple and literally faceless, and his personality is kind of bland. He makes for a good bodyguard whose presence won’t bother most of your fans, and they can easily project themselves on him in their fanfictions about you.”
“And while you shouldn’t be overshined, I guess I can approve of the Storm Valkyrie and the druid for the time being.” Livia pressed on before we could interrupt her or question the things she was saying. “Three pretty girls sell better than one, and they fill different niches than yours. But the spider and the rogue? They don’t fit your appeal and won’t help your marketing at all! Especially the spider. Spiders are already creepy and weird, but a Choldritch… She’ll be murder on your views.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” Alexa said. “Ben is a great scout and no one is as destructive as Thomas when he wants to be! We would all be dead if it weren’t for them!”
“I know, but that doesn’t matter. This whole dungeon of fighting mobs, grinding levels and defeating bosses? That became entirely irrelevant the moment you picked your build. You’re all about getting views now, and using this unique opportunity of mass exposure to gain as much of an audience for your idol status before the season ends. If you can get popular enough for some proper Sponsor Boxes, then your audience will make sure you make it to a floor where Borant can offer you an out. After that we can start working full-time on your idol career.”
An awkward silence descended upon the group for a few moments as Livia continued to pretend that the rest of us didn’t exist, staring down Alexa who seemed lost for words. Alexa gathered her wits and sought the words to say, but then spoke up.
“Lame!” Alexa said.
“Excuse me?” Livia asked.
“Lame! Lame, lame, lame!” Alexa repeated. “I’m in a dungeon world doing quests and slaying monsters, and you want me to sit around doing nothing but what… Sing? Do a little silly dance? I can do that kind of stuff all I want after we make it out of here! I just got myself a cool rapier, I want to use it! I’ve already taken down enemies, I want to be even better at it! I want to do quests, defeat bosses and get like super powerful and kick-ass!”
Livia didn’t say anything for a moment, and then sighed. “I was already afraid of that, but it was worth a try.”
“Ha! You should’ve known it was pointless, trying to keep me from being awesome!” Alexa smiled smugly.
Livia gave her a stern glare, and Alexa’s confidence withered away. “You can keep being awesome, dear, but you’ll have to stop being so reckless. I’ve been following you since you entered the Third Floor, and you almost gave me a heart attack with how frequently you were but one reflex or stroke of bad luck away from getting yourself killed! Any of those Krutnik could’ve bitten you in half, if they actually managed to grab you!”
“But they didn’t!” Alexa proudly retorted.
“Because of luck and you never facing more than one Krutnik at a time. That luck won’t hold up forever, not when your class is most certainly NOT meant for close combat. Oh, and a Virgin Mary for me, I’m still on the clock.” Livia said, suddenly turning towards the barkeep, returning her full attention back to Alexa before he could even nod to acknowledge her order.
“You’ll have to focus more on your race and class build, young lady! You are a charisma support caster, not a lancer! You stay behind and use your voice and dance to buff your party members and enthral your foes!” Livia said. “And of course, to appease your fans. But you’re being too simple right now. I’ve only seen you use your Star Struck, why haven’t you used any of your other skills?”
“Well, I don’t really know… how.” Alexa fidgeted.
“Zartas didn’t tell you?” Livia asked, before sighing wearily. “Of course he didn’t. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to do it, and you’ll be too busy to need that rapier in no time.”
“Hold up, roll back. Did you say charisma support caster?” Elise said. “Good choice, Alexa! I’ll leave the talking to you from now on!”
“Will do!” Alexa smiled, high-fiving Elise’s index finger. “I’m going to fool and scam so many NPCs!”
“Not with your low charisma score, you’re not.” Livia said, Alexa once again wincing under her stern gaze. “Your stats aren’t optimized at all. Too little charisma, too much of everything else! It’s almost as if you just spread out your points evenly instead of focusing on one specific thing!”
“Well, I mean…” Alexa stuttered. “I didn’t know what I’d be needing exactly, so…”
“So?”
“So I may have… done… like, maybe, exactly that?” Alexa said.
“…”
“It’s Zartas’s fault! He didn’t help me at all! I asked him questions and he just sighed and told me to hurry up and pick something!” Alexa said.
“Don’t go blaming others for your mistakes, young lady.” Livia chided.
“But… But…”
“No buts.” Livia said, flying over to Alexa. “You’ll be putting all your points in charisma for the time being, and train your idol skills. No more rapier unless it’s necessary.”
“I’m totally going to rapier the shit out of every monster I see.” Alexa rebelliously muttered.
Livia ignored the retort as she began to fidget with Alexa’s clothes and touch up her hair. “And we definitely need to do something about your appearance. The pants work for now, but that ugly sweater needs to go. I’m thinking twin tails and a miniskirt with stockings?”
“But I hate ponytails!” Alexa refused. “And I don’t have any other clothes!”
“Not now, yes. Though even the leaves would’ve been better than this rough-woven abomination. The very notion that they might tear has been a huge spike for your popularity by sheer Theiss Tittilation Theory, before you started wearing… this. And the Forsoothed love the tease of potential exposure.”
“Alexa’s eleven, I’d appreciate it if you cease all suggestions to sexualize her image.” I said.
“Yes, yes. I know. I don’t intend to whore her out.” Livia idly waved away my concerns. “While the legalities are a bit… flexible, depending on the star system, in general we want to avoid outright paedophilia to make sure Alexa isn’t going to be branded as illegal contraband. We’ll hint at it as much as we can, without showing anything explicit until she comes of age.”
“She’s eleven.” I repeated, menacingly looming over Livia. “I don’t give a shit about your legalities, it’s not going to happen.”
“That’s not really your choice to make, now is it?” Livia glared back. “And I’m not going to let your pride and archaic Earthling culture ruin my crawler’s ratings and have her end up dead!”
“You said something about Forsoothed?” Thomas interrupted before we could escalate this disagreement into pointless bickering. “Who are they?”
“Only the single most common race in the Syndicate, dear. Imagine those grey-skinned creatures with the big black eyes that you guys depict aliens as.” Livia said, dismissively turning away from me. “Quite a few of them are perverts, the kind that abduct people to probe their anal cavities.
“If you hear of elven lore, that’s pretty much the Forsoothed by a different name and appearance to not upset the audience. Elves don’t exist, they’re just humans with pointy ears after all. The Forsoothed give different names to their deviants and then pretend that these are completely different species, and we use elves as an allegory.”
“Never mind that, let’s talk about your skills, dear.” Livia said, returning her attention to Alexa.